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Hello back again off suboxone...now it's the benzos(not used very long but need help)
  1. #1
    tlcmel is offline Banned
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    Default Hello back again off suboxone...now it's the benzos(not used very long but need help)

    Hello,
    One good thing I could say is I've been off of subs for over a few months...i've posted in the past about a good weaning method and with the help of Robert I kicked it for good without problem. Now...I just had a really tramatic experience in my life that just happened, quite a few. ONE, I was dating a guy who was not who I thought he was...I liked him low and behold he is doing life in prison for stabbing a guy over a drug debt...yeah stupid me, he told me he had a full time job. I was sick and hurt I couldn't get out of bed...what happened? I get pulled over by the police they found xanax bars that I bought off of a friend to calm down from this TRAGIC experience...during the time they pulled me over i had to be at work...called off fifteen minutes before i had to be there..i was fired....i was in such distress...the murder was horrific...he slashed is throat down to his thorax I was TRAMATIZED...I couldn't move from my bed, just lost my job, worried about possession charges(which are dropped now THANK GOD wont go into how)....anyhow I went to see my PCP crying my eyes out telling him that I'm depressed and so anxious and worried about finding another job during this horrible time...so I was prescribed zoloft which DID actually work for me in the past after my father's death, xanax .5 three times a day for two weeks, he was reluctant to put me on it any loner than that which was fine(I've been prescribed .25 for over a few years JUST when needed because I had a stressful job...didn't take it every day). My family member gets klonopins and gave me about 12...so I was taking 1mg a few times per day for about a week, now taking about 2-3mg of .5 xanax...i am a wreck. I'm starting to try to wean now...I'm seeing the light the meds(zoloft) is working I'm also taking vistaril...had a job interview at the place I wanted to work at and had my second interview today working with people who have dual diagnosis's as a psych nurse(mental disorder with a co existing addiction problem). So I'm feeling better, getting over that tragedy...I can't believe I was so upset about someone who could do something like that...but I didn't see that side of him...I'm pretty over it now. So...how do I wean...it's been about two weeks taking a total of about 3mg a day first the klonopins then the xanax....it really helped me get through this...and i knew in the back of my mind this was only going to be short term...i was catatonic couldn't move, or eat...one thing I do do is bath..lol but I was REALLY bad. Any help is appreciated. Also meant to add that I was being watched by the detectives because they think he was involved with other murders and knew that I was connected to him....what a MESS this month has been you have NO idea what I've gone through.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-28-2012 at 12:17 AM.

  2. #2
    tlcmel is offline Banned
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    Default More...

    I also want to add that I've been reading sites on benzo withdrawal just now for hours but found invaluable information on this site....and I'd read more because there seems to be similar posts relating to my issue...but I'm tired and going to bed. This shouldn't be too bad...i just want a help with a good weaning method/schedule....good night and God bless and thank you all for your wonderful help with getting me off suboxone, that's so in the past it's forgotten about.

  3. #3
    Anonymous Guest

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    no matter the excuse mate, you know why you are here...

    you gotta either stop. or taper,., its up to you...

    you know the drill. i know when things get tough its easy to say '''ahh i need something.''

    im goin thru a really hard treatment right now... i took half a sleeping pill the other night to help me sleep. then a mate the other day said. 'i was listening to sharon osborne the other day saying addicts are always on the pity pot... i need this because, waaaaah, i took this because... waaaaah."

    and ya know what, she was right.

    i totally justified taking that pill, coz i wasnt sleeping, i was on treatment, and dammit i deserved a good nights sleep....

    that was the addict in me talking...

    you know what to do mate. take your time. taper off and quit.....

  4. #4
    Anonymous Guest

    Wink Sub Ox / Benzo

    Sounds like you got you self in quite mess there but after reading your threads you should be fine. Did you say you were only on Sub for only 24 days ? @ 12 mg ?'s I honestly wouldn't see that a a problem to taper off off with any real effort. But be very careful with the benzo's they are a beast of a different kind I know I take both Im on a taper schedule with my Sub know & If it takes me a year it takes me a year ( thats my goal Im done Dec 31 2012) That was my one and only prayer for the year. I have 2 freind's who has been on .25 mg for 3 years and cant make the jump. They started by clipping a little from me when i wasnt looking not knowing. I was so pissed when i found out I would give this to an enemy let alone a friend. People just dont get it. i hope i dont end up there not being able to jump. Right now im at 4 mgs a day down from 16 mg for the last 4 years. My idiot doctor has given me MORE Benzos 5mg day from 1 mg )and more Sub 24 mg day not less. I take 2mg sometimes 2.5mg xanex on a rough day and give rest to wife or brother He cant sleep and has cancer . I know sooner or later either the insurance company is going to say stop... I was in re hab for oxi & benzo's or he is going to retire or die he is quite old... So i am getting ready for the day when i know i ll have to make the jump and trying to store some in case i get cut off. I just had open heart surgery so im not doing any benzo tapers now.I m out on disability and would have tapered now except the heart is my priority. I just got back from a weekend trip and i left Benzo's home ( nightmare) i had NO idea how bad the de tox was on xanex! I did have enough for first day then it was all down hill SO fast.Thank God Someone had some klonolpin on Sunday or I would have been in the hospital for sure. i was staying with my kids I had to explain to them what was wrong so they could help me The were horrified But felt better when they saw how fast i recovered. And then my flights got delayed and i didnt get home until Wednesday So i def would have been in troiuble over a little blue pill. I wish you the best Put Your self in control . Your a young women take your life back it won t be easy but it will be worth it. I am a slave to these to pills I cant leave my job or move because of heath care to pay for it, it Everything is centered around 2 stupid pills its obscene Im basically 60 yr old functioning junky How pathetic . Help your self now why you can. Those pricks probably did you a favor not hiring you and be happy your safe and not at the end of your ex's knife. As you can tell it def clouds our judgement.Everyone in my office and family thought i have been doing a lot of " drugs " lately because of the way ive been acting. I havnt done a "damn" thing other then my sub & benzo script but they all keep accusing its unreal. So keep in mind over time they will effect your cognitive thinking. Im also on depakote and wellbutrin for depression and " Bi polor" which I am having re examined after 4 years Not so sure if i need it or its a drug that is actually working
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-02-2012 at 02:10 PM.

  5. #5
    tlcmel is offline Banned
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    Thanks sorry to hear about your situation...i took a total of 2 mg today...i could NOT sleep last night and feel the insomnia coming again, cause i took a nap during the day and want to sleep tonite so took 1mg...but didn't plan on taking it...was only going to take .5 two times today(prescribed it x 3) but I want to get to sleep, i'm up thinking all night it's horrible. Tomorrow I plan on taking my .25 x 3...for maybe two days, then .25 x2 for for or 5 days, then .25x1(which is what i've been taking for a while but didn't have any for a month long story and did not experience withdrawal but i didn't take it every day that was about average because some days i'd skip and some days i'd take more than one .25...didn't want to get hooked but because of all this worry, my doc upped my dose JUST for two weeks and i really don't want withdrawal issues, i had NONE tapering from Robert's advice on here from the suboxone....NO symptoms...hang in there hope things get better for u...sorry so long to get back just been in the clouds. question could u take melatonin with vistaril, zoloft and a low dose of xanax? I can't sleep!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-01-2012 at 09:29 PM.

  6. #6
    Anonymous Guest

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    Why did your doc up your dose ? Im confused. And how come you tapered before with no Wd and now you have them. The freaking nightmares and sweats are the worst. All I can say is take the very very least you can and try to ride it out Are you working ? If not grab you sleep when you can I know easier said then done, but i think your tapering to fast you might want to try a 21 day taper or longer and try to stick with it then jump if your ready. Should be easier on you especially when you jump . My Wife was down to Sub tiny tiny crumbs twice and jumped once but the PAWS pushed her back she said it was worse then the physical ( Depression) I never knew about any of this. Other wise i would have got her to a shrink for an anti depressant but she hates them. Its a viscous viscous cycle you really have to be committed to doing. Sometimes i dont know if i am or not so i just keep cutting back so maybe when im ready it wont be so hard. Im def doing the subs this year, the xanex i dont know they scare me after this last weekend..... what a nightmare ! Lay off the zanex if you can i know they can be a HUGE help but then your opening another can or snakes worse then the subs if your not careful That you have to do under a credible doctors care . Just a bigger problem down the road IF you can. I just took half the xanex i had and locked them away so no one can get to the them is a steel safe.When we start to run low will force to make do. I wanted to throw them away but thats suicide. Would be nice for you to have some ambian around to help you sleep. I have a rx but i dont take them they dont work for me i give to wife and brother. Excercise is good as well if you can do it. I know they gave me a little klonopin when i was in re hab for the zanex and tapered me off the zanex in about 3 days i think and they kept me on the subs and tiny dose of something. I was the only one there with Sub i didnt understand why. People were offering me a lot of money for them they could not believe i had them only because i came in with a rx is why i got them. I wish they had pulled me off them as well but they didnt. I was really confused when i got there and didnt under stand what the the sub really was at the time at all. This was 5 years ago Certainly not my "magic pill" as my doctor told me. i was already off the oxi for months prior when i got there ! I was abusing the ???? out of zanex and alcohol and ANY thing else i could get my hands on. I was really on the verge of a nervous mental breakdown thats why I went. It was a mess So hang in there and stretch it out best you can.
    I did good today 4mg of sub and 3 doses of -- .05mg of Zanex Only becuase of a lighting round of un do stress thrown at me by my boss ( im on disability ad he made me come to office at 5 pm an hour away ). My wife was NOT happy either was I. Any way I have to learn to cope with those situations with out popping a pill. The second i feel stress i reach for my pocket. I always carried them with me Im going to stop it will be a big move not having my blanket with me. I start Intensive physical re hab for my heart in two weeks i cant wait 3 times a week for 3 months. If i ever have a shot at flushing this ???? out it will be then under a Nursers care. Im thinking about telling them i want off this ???? .They know ii take them, there on my chart will See. Im So immune to pain meds from the sub i almost woke up from anathesia in the OR. They said i woke up the minute they wheeled me into the ICU. I was suppose to be out for 3-4 more hours. Just shows you how strong this stuff is and how much it builds in your system . They had to knock me out again and then when i finally did wake give me 4 times amount the pain killer that they were planning on giving me after i got to speak to a pain specialist who understood what sub oxone was and how long i was on it. I would say 95 % or more of the hospital staff Drs & Nurses did not know what it even was Amazing. I will say i had surgery on Tuesday afternoon and I was home on Sunday and was on zero painkillers . Which was the plan. They just said take a little more Sub if you have to. I had never taken it EVER to get high since Re hab But it worked It dulled the pain and stoned me out enough to sleep with my chest cracked open and triple by pass surgery 5 days earlier Amazing
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-02-2012 at 02:11 PM.
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  7. #7
    Anonymous Guest

    Default tlcmel sorry

    i just went back and read you original post Sorry i thought you were tapering of Sub oxone MY bAd I told you they can effect your cognitive thinking. Ill be brief when i went into rehab for xanex abuse and alcohol . They tapered me down with klonopin i believe Its faster acting and stays in body longer but gave me less of it and of course they didnt let me snort it. I was snorting about 3- 1 mg with my coffee then i tried to snort sub ( didnt work ) or coke what ever i could get. then doing another 3-4 during day I had 3 rx's. I have to tell you they did a great job because i was in a hospital and sedated so i do not remember much unlike the hellish god awful experience i just had this last weekend with trying to just stretch 2 mg over 4 days.I made day 3 on .05 per day and the walls started caving in day 4 when i had none left . I tried more sub but that didnt help So although ive read the worst peaks out at 3-4 days I never would have made it thru day 1 with out my niece bailing me out with about 7 -1 mg klonopins when she overheard my sister in law lecturing me. Within 5 minutes i was "normaI" Un real I was delirious with sweat ,cramps and brain fog and traveling on my own in Florida after my daughters wedding and trying to pretend i was OK. I barely go thru the wedding but i had .05 as my last back up which i knew i would need. I figured out of 200 people i would find soemone to get one from. My Sister in law had them to but had to lecture me to get one even though she says he has been on for about 8 years and when she got to ceremony she said "oh i forgot i didnt even think about it " That is down right WICKED especially for someone who had been on them for that long and knows i could have a grand mall seizure and died I just had by pass suregy not even 4 weeks ago ! thats evil. I left my rx at home it was lost the cleaning girl found it monday but i was stuck in airports for 30 hours and didnt get home until Wed Can you imagine if didn't get the klonopin ??? omg This is why they have to go they an ruin your life or in my case kill me
    Sorry for the confusion on the last post and best of luck .
    Let me know how you make out I def think these are the worst of the bunch ( xanex) and the funny thing is everyone is walking around with them like there M & M's These Drs are very corrupt or immoral . They just keep writing those rx's for free trips ,dinners, speaking fees, you name it. They cant make as much money on there practice now because of insurance but the drug companies have oodles and oodles of incentives for them to sign you up..My PCP did apologize to me for putting me on Sub Oxone He said " i really didnt know i was just switching one for the other " Gee thanks here i am 5 years later hooked because another doctor prescribed me oxi and said it would not hurt me dont worry about it "are you in a rubber room " true story
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  8. #8
    Anonymous Guest

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    found this taper schedule for yu and some other info on the xanex good luck

    For a person on 0.5 mg three times a day a typical suggested tapering would be:

    0.50 mg 0.50 mg 0.50 mg to start
    0.50 mg 0.25mg 0.50 mg at first drop and revisit in a week:
    0.25 mg 0.25 mg 0.50 mg (assumes sx worse at night) for a week stretch mid dose until it drops off at night dose
    0.25 mg 0.50mg one week at comfort
    0.25mg 0.25 mg (beyond comfort) one or two weeks
    0.125 mg 0.25 mg (one week –– some stop here)
    0.125 mg 0.125 mg (one week –– more stop here)
    0.125 mg (a few days)
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-02-2012 at 02:10 PM.
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  9. #9
    ARTIST658 is offline Advanced Member
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    Default


    Ticmel -

    I just looked through some of your history as your posts here really left me quite confused. Did I read this right - you are trying to work as a psych nurse for dual-diagnosed patients?

    You really need to take a good hard look at yourself, hon - cause what I see is clearly disturbing for any professional to not see. You are very new to recovery from drug addiction - and just recently off suboxone. Now you're taking not only the benzo your doctor prescribed, but also taking another person's klonopin? Does that in any way sound unethical to you??? How about - illegal?

    And then you post this concoction for sleep - "melatonin, vistaril, zoloft and xanax"? Does that sound like a healthy cocktail to you?

    Seriously, you sound like you need a lot of professional help - before you can even think about acting as a psych nurse for dual diagnosed patients. You need some coping skills - as life's stressors will always come and go, you can't be turning to drugs, especially benzos, when the going gets rough.

    This picture is really unnerving me. You are hesitant about how you'll pass basic drug screening; you're swallowing 2 types of benzos to get through the day - suggesting a mix of drugs for a cocktail to sleep - and you're thinking you're equipped to help others with a dual-diagnosis of mental illness AND substance abuse?

    Seriously - I am a recovering addict myself. I do not judge other people for being addicts. I completely understand the disease of addiction, as well as the process of recovery. BUT - I do have a code of conduct and ethics for professionals working in this field. It's the field that I work in, and when someone tries to dance by the basic standards for ethical conduct - it's just plain wrong.

    Your posts reveal to me a person who is very much thinking like an active addict. You continue to seek out the answers to your problems through a drug of one sort or another. That is thinking like an addict. That is unhealthy. IF you were to work in this field, THIS is the kind of behavior that you would NEED to be able to recognize in your clients!!!

    When we think like a person in recovery, we seek out any and all means to deal with our problems that do NOT involve taking drugs or alcohol. No matter what crisis comes, we find a way to cope with it. We do not turn to benzos. We do not reach for a drink. We do not reach for a soma or anything else. We utilize the coping skills that we've learned in recovery.

    If you can not see what I'm saying - you have no business working with dually-diagnosed patients. In fact, I'm rather horrified to think you are still working as a nurse, period. Recovery begins with self-honesty. Recovery is not about excuses; it's about abstinence.

    God bless,
    Ruth
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    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  10. #10
    tlcmel is offline Banned
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    Ruth,
    There is NOTHING wrong with being prescribed something from a professional DOCTOR for certain tramatic events that happens in life. So don't tell me I shouldn't be a nurse...90% or MORE NURSES are on some kind of nerve pill. Nursing is a hard profession and it actually helps me function better because I can think more clearly because I'm not as nervous(during different situations). You got alot of f'in nerve telling me what I shouldn't take in regards to being a nurse. Take your anger out on something like developing or improving your way of speaking to someone in a more respectful tone. Just from the way I'm perceiving your attitude to be, to me, is a reflection of someone who is still not fully recovered and has anger issues as a result. I took pain pills for a reason, and it was prescribed to me and I took the plunge and recovered SUCCESSFULLY...so HA!
    PEACE
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-17-2012 at 05:34 PM.

  11. #11
    tlcmel is offline Banned
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    Default Good news, which is why I'm posting.

    I am benzo and narcotic free...thanks for all your help. It's a wonderful feeling...I am fully recovered and a happy woman.
    God bless xoxoxox

  12. #12
    ARTIST658 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tlcmel View Post
    I am benzo and narcotic free...thanks for all your help. It's a wonderful feeling...I am fully recovered and a happy woman.
    God bless xoxoxox

    Ticmel,

    I received several email updates of your recent responses to me, including those that the DDC Mod deleted from this forum, due to their offensive language. I find your well-timed, grandiose claim to suddenly be clean from all drugs - miraculously - rather suspect. I saw on another thread (where I also receive updates) that you are continuing to use the benzo "PRN" (as needed) - so that says plenty. Addicts can not safely or consistently "DO" PRN of addictive drugs - especially those drugs that they've already become addicted to. You may fool some, but not me.

    I know addiction inside and out - including all its related behaviors. It is quite common that an addict will become fiercely defensive when they are confronted by someone who sees through their behaviors. The post telling me to "F" myself spoke volumes.

    I was not angry when I wrote to you - I was direct and to the point. You can't get me angry, you just don't have that power, unless I allow you to. I was "unnerved" by the concept of a substance abuse professional working while under the influence; when I see that in person, I also speak up. I work in a long-term substance abuse treatment center, so I have plenty of education and experience dealing with addicts. The only way that my words could provoke that much of a response is that my words hit home.

    You have a long journey ahead of you, and the only way to begin it is to start with self-honesty. Anything less won't work.

    God bless,
    Ruth

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    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  13. #13
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tlcmel View Post
    I am benzo and narcotic free...thanks for all your help. It's a wonderful feeling...I am fully recovered and a happy woman.
    God bless xoxoxox
    ticmel, how did you "recover" that quickly? I am amazed! Look there are only two types of withdrawals that can kill, alcohol and benzos. With benzos wd symptoms may not appear until 72 days after the last dose sdo needless to say you are playing with fire. You need to consult your doc and be honest about what is going on. Life is not fair and we all get bad breaks however we have to learn to roll with the punches and use other methods.
    I am not getting on your case by any means but you are a liability on a dual diagnosis unit. If nursing stresses you these patients will drive you over the edge. I know a lot of nurses are on "something for nerves" the docs I worked with were in charge of an impaired professionals group working directly with the med board and nursing board. I would suggest you check pout one of these groups.
    May make you angry but Ruth is right and I agree with her. Seek the professional help you need please and continue with the benzo cocktails is just begging for serious trouble Good Luck Surfdog
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-19-2012 at 09:58 AM.

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