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I think my husband is using again
  1. #1
    ginbob7 is offline New Member
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    Default I think my husband is using again

    Hello, I'm new here and I guess I am looking for someone to talk to or for some advice. I think my husband is using pain pills again he was an addict before I met him and he also had went to rehab. When we married I knew about his past drug problems and about 4 months into our marriage he started using again. He went and got on suboxones and was on those for about two years and he decided he was done with it all so he quit that cold turkey and after almost two months of hell with withdrawl he finally seemed like he was in a good place other than smoking weed he wasn't using. But now in the past month or so he has been lieing about everything, where he's going, the hours he works, money is disappearing and all he wants to do is sleep when he is home. His mood swings have been horrible he gets mad so fast and at nothing really and he seems to have broken out in hives and is always scratching.
    I finally had enough so I asked him was he using anything and of course he denied it so that caused a physical altercation between us and he took all his belongings and other things from our house. Also took the car and keys to the other one so I have no way to go with me and my four children. I know I should be glad he is gone and feel relief but I can't get over the sadness and hurt I feel from what he has put me and my children through. So what I guess I'm asking is do you think he is using again and was I in the right to tell him to leave.
    Catrina likes this.

  2. #2
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginbob7 View Post
    Hello, I'm new here and I guess I am looking for someone to talk to or for some advice. I think my husband is using pain pills again he was an addict before I met him and he also had went to rehab. When we married I knew about his past drug problems and about 4 months into our marriage he started using again. He went and got on suboxones and was on those for about two years and he decided he was done with it all so he quit that cold turkey and after almost two months of hell with withdrawl he finally seemed like he was in a good place other than smoking weed he wasn't using. But now in the past month or so he has been lieing about everything, where he's going, the hours he works, money is disappearing and all he wants to do is sleep when he is home. His mood swings have been horrible he gets mad so fast and at nothing really and he seems to have broken out in hives and is always scratching.
    I finally had enough so I asked him was he using anything and of course he denied it so that caused a physical altercation between us and he took all his belongings and other things from our house. Also took the car and keys to the other one so I have no way to go with me and my four children. I know I should be glad he is gone and feel relief but I can't get over the sadness and hurt I feel from what he has put me and my children through. So what I guess I'm asking is do you think he is using again and was I in the right to tell him to leave.
    Welcome!

    In a word, yup!! All of the signs are there. We don't want to see them sometimes but you did the right thing by confronting him. If he is clean an vested in your marriage, there is no way he would have reacted the way he did. I mean, being angry with you is one thing but to leave you without transportation when you have four kids? Wow!

    I know that this must be so hard for you both emotionally and otherwise. You don't want to sign up for this chit indefinitely. I hope that your husband sees the light soon and gets some help but in the meantime, you (at least for now) have full responsibility for four kids. Taking care of them and you must become your top priority. There's no crystal ball that will tell us what the future holds for any of us so we have to somehow find the strength to move on and begin to get our lives in order. As you go through this process, you'll have all kinds of ups and downs including being sad, mourning, and being angry. As things begin to fall into place, you will begin to feel better. Begin to get your ducks in a row. Seek out some legal assistance so that you can get some financial support for your children. Find an ALANON meeting where you can meet others who love an addict. That support will be priceless, trust me. What your husband will do is anyone's guess but I suspect that when he sees that you are doing what you need to do to move on will be an eye-opener for him. Who knows? It might be his rock bottom. I wouldn't count on it and if that happens, it'll be a bonus. Just take care of you and the kids.

    I'm so sorry that this is happening. Be strong and get some support. You don't have to do this alone and just finding someone who you can confide in face to face and understands all of this will be the very best thing you can do for yourself right now. That is the key. You can't do a darn thing about your husband, but you can do something about how you respond to this situation and what you can do to protect your family. Best wishes and please keep posting.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Randy35 and RNDianaDisabled like this.

  3. #3
    survivalist is offline Junior Member
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    He is showing sighs of agitation which is explaining the story. Hope things will change for better. One thing you can do is to replace the pills with the placebos if you find them. Good Luck!!

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