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More Than A Decade On Painkillers Etcetera
  1. #1
    MarziDayziCrazi is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2015

    Default More Than A Decade On Painkillers Etcetera

    Hello everyone,
    I've read a bit here and there about addiction and withdrawal almost to the point of salient confusion, I'm going on closing on 15 years of Xanax then switched to Lorazepam, 11 years of the former, close to 12 on Oxycontin-Oxycodone, dosing stared at 20, 40 after a year, then jumped to 80 twice daily for about seven years, I also take Hydrocodone 6 times a day and Meloxicam once a day, four times daily for the Lorazepam, yes, I'm aware that's a prescription, no pun intended, for addiction, but I didn't start screwing around with my dosing until about 7, 8 months ago and that began because of my frequent need to pee, sorry if that offends, and Oxy's are the only way I could stop that from happening every 30 to 45 minutes, I am unable to take for that due to my condition, well, to make a long post even longer, I began taking my Oxy's for other reasons, rationalizing that I'd fix it before I ran out, it never fared that way, I'm not buying any when it runs out, I don't take anything else to combat the withdrawal, I let serve as punishment for my tomfoolery, then I began doubling on the Hydro's again rationalizing that at one every 4 hours, taking 2 at a time is just waiting 8 hours until the next, I call my Buffer because as we all know opiate dependence especially long running will lead to the dreaded "T-word:" Tolerance, I get a 4 hour window of relief, double the Hydro, take the Lorazepam and at times the Meloxicam, that's what I call The Complete CockTail, it has only a mental effect with some actual relief, I'm coming to be more dependent on my medicine, but not for getting high, in fact, I cannot recall ever feeling high even when all of this began back in 2001, it would nod and knock me out, but high? No such feeling, now here's where this novella asks for sharing advice: Has this ever happened to anyone who hasn't looked to any other medicine to combat withdrawal or tolerance? Has anyone had long term use and suddenly after years of following the drill decided for one reason or another to self increase, but not chase a high or anything to perpetuate the need? I've looked at dozens of forums, posted and while helpful, members say they've not experienced what I'm going through exactly, that they've taken other medicine or went to street drugs, not wanting to face withdrawal, telling their doctors or dealing with the pain, I have discussed it with my doctor of 11 years, he's been the best, always giving me credence and doing right by me, I'm to incredibly ashamed to tell him even though I KNOW he'd help, I've considered detox, rehabilitation, plain out "cold turkey," but my cats are dependent on me as oxymoronic as that sounds and while family and friends agree with my want to try and at least reduce my pill intake from 13 to 15 daily to what I used to take, 1 Oxy, 1 Xanax, 2 Hydro's, 1 Meloxicam, or even just one major painkiller, no-one can tend to me cats, please don't say I'm more important, it's just an excuse or the like, well, it's a beautiful, free Country, so you'll say as you'd like, however, it truly is the way it shapes up, I love animals more than ANYTHING, they also help immensely with my depression and I'm not on anything for that, been diagnosed, but I'm just not willing to add another pill to my repertoire, any suggestions, thoughts, ideas, help, comments will be much appreciated, I hope we all find that sweet spot with our medicine and pain control, it's not always outstanding, but I long for a life without a secret growing addiction and a tolerance to pain not medicine that is supposed to do just the opposite of conjure addiction, money troubles, others being fed into it, suffering in silence and people in our lives who think they know how we feel, tell us how they just deal with pain, soldier through, whatever we individually face from our need to find some relief via potent painkillers that even after a dozen years can induce addiction, be well and blessed all, I'll be praying for all of you even if I see not one word of response, it feels good to get it out again, maybe I'll even talk to my doctor if the idea is prompted, take care

  2. #2
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016


    I'm almost two weeks clean after being on oxy etc. for many, many years, and my life is already changing in so many ways. More energy than before, getting more done, better relationship, just so many things. I tapered for years, and years under doctors supervision then finally made the jump and so glad I did. Was a painful couple of weeks, but a big change did happen to me at least. One thread that helped me a lot and where I found everything was the Thomas Recipe thread (link included). No matter what you decide to do, I wish you nothing but the best!

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