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WTF - Wife addicted to hydro (Secretly [for years])
  1. #1
    NrthnLghts is offline New Member
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    Default WTF - Wife addicted to hydro (Secretly [for years])

    WTF do I do? My wife is concealing an addiction that has been going on for years. She seems to think I don't know the signs - by now, I know even when the planning (to get back on) begins. That is followed by established signs indicating that the usage is back in full swing. I am embarrassed for her lies, I am sad that she is imprisoned by the drug - deep down I think it stems from a deep rooted realization that she doesn't love me and perhaps never did. If you are hiding this from your partner - I'd like to hear your side to try to understand - please.

  2. #2
    ydnarb is offline New Member
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    Sorry to hear about your wife's addiction, it always saddens me to hear about how many people's lives this effrects. I have been in this same situation before. I hid it for awhile, came clean and ask for help...only to stop for about 5 days and get right back on..it was only 5 days ago that i admitted to him that i had been using pain meds the past 7 months. I love him more than anything in the world, if i didn't i would have been more upfront and not worried about the consequences. If you arent addicted you have a hard time understanding what its like and the pain you go through knowing that you arent in control of your life. To say that you think it stems from her lack of love for you, well i just think thats not even a factor in her addiction. You should look into some facts about addiction. suboxone.com has a great website that tells you what happens to the brain after being on pain meds, and how your body stop producing dopamine...I think befor you can make any judgements or assumptions you need to try to understand what she is going through. Good luck and I hope it help!

  3. #3
    hbco2 is offline New Member
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    My husband doesn't know.
    Your wife loves you. It seems from your entry that she is lucky to have you.

    I can't tell my husband. My friend just called. He is a doctor, so he could tell me how to get off hydrocodone and ativan. I tell him everything usually. I didn't tell him this. I know I can tell him anything... he has even been thru it before so he could help me but my stupid ego & pride prevent me from saying anything.

    I had a bad surgery during medical school and then lots of hydrocodone and another surgery... I was supposed to take 2 vicodin every 3 or 4 hours as needed. This has gone on for about a year. I was taking it as directed.

    I didn't even know I was addicted until I tried to quit! The pain had lessened so I didn't take any vicodin and I had severe withdrawal symptoms... Now I am scared.

    Your wife has been taking a man made opiate... over time it supresses the body's natural opiate response to pain. (So she probably feels 3x the normal amount of pain without the pills). Opiate W/D have been compared to a bad case of the flu... if you ask me this is understated. I feel like I have the worst case of the flu I have ever had... diaphoretic, shaky, terrible muscle cramping... it is aweful. I also quit taking ativan, so withdrawal from that is making me see sparkles... nervous, anxious, frustrated, etc.

    I am in pain with the pills and without them, pain is much worse. At times it is intolerable. Add to that flu like symptoms, guilt, and shame... I think alot about the fact that I took the medication as directed, did everything right and the consequences are the same as they would be if I used recreationally... addiction. Has your wife gone to rehab or sought out help ever?

    At the moment I am feeling pretty hopeless. I want to be a doctor... doctors help people, right now I can't even help myself. I haven't eaten yesterday or so far today. The pain actually gets worse by the hour. I suppose it is worth mentioning that I decided to quit ativan too (cold turkey on the ativan so far-I am prolly setting myself up for a seizure right now)... so may be my withdrawal symptoms will be worse than what your wife will go thru, or maybe not since she has been on hydrocodone for a long time... I used to take 8 to 10 a day (not including what I would take if I woke up during the night in pain) but if she has taken them that long she probably takes more.

    I can't tell my husband becuase he would belittle me and just say I am a failure. Plus he would never let me go back to med school this august. So telling him is not an option.

    My strategy, I suppose, is to challenge myself. See how long I can suffer before taking a hydrocodone. If the pain becomes intolerable, I will take 1 pill instead of 2. Don't let your wife quit cold turkey... it isn't successful most of the time and is hell... at least so far. Plus it increases seizure risk... and other things.

    I should note it is really stupid to stop taking a narcotic and go cold turkey with a benzodiazepine at the same time. (Ideally I should taper both doses... but I don't feel like going to the pharmacy.)

    A few days of D5 .5 normal saline with 20 kcl would work wonders... I guess I will settle for Gatorade, and maybe some kcl supplements.

    I will pray for you and your wife NrthnLights. & you too brandy1817. Good luck to us all.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-01-2007 at 02:19 PM. Reason: added smthg

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    ydnarb is offline New Member
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    thanks hbco2..
    I'm sorry that you feel that you cant help others because you cant even help yourself. I felt that way for a long time. I have an advanced degree in psychology and have interned by helping out with NA meetings. Its amazing how this thing sneaks up on you. Be strong, you can get through it..it you've made it into Medical school you obviously have the willpower to obtain things that you want. Its not easy to go through alone, I have tried before unsuccessfully, i've had support and failed unsuccesfully as well. While its nice to have support you have to find in with in yourself. And sure its going to be hard and uncomfortable, but no problem is a permanent as a solution. One day when you're a doctor you will able to help your patients since you have been through it, you will also think before you start prescribing them like candy which is what a lot of doctors in my area do. Well, again, good luck to everyone!

    I've been doing the Gatorade the last 3 days...someone said it helps...anymore suggestions?


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    hbco2 is offline New Member
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    Hey Brandy1817,
    Thank you for the encouraging reply. Yeah it is amazing... I didn't even know I had a problem until the pain got a bit better and I took 6 tylenol instead of vicodin. Withdrawal was the only indication that I have a problem... no drug seeking behavior... for either drug. So I am fortunate in that I guess.

    And heck I didn't even think the ativan was an issue until yesterday... I was litterally climbing the walls, panic attacks that I have never had before, uncontrollable movements...
    It is sort of funny... I too have a degree in psychology. And here I am suppposed to be taking ativan for PTSD, and quitting it without my psychiatrist's knowledge or approval. I told him I didn't want the ativan anymore and he told me I can't just "quit" like that.

    I have a refill at the pharmacy for the ativan that I called in last Thurs or Fri ... and still haven't picked it up. I took one vicodin today so far...and no ativan for 4 days-I feel like a space cadet. What day is the worst day of W/D?

    Yeah apparently doctors in my area rx hydrocodone alot... I went from percocets to vicodins and they kept me on vicodin even tho I said that I was afraid of it. He said well what is worse - the terrible pain that this medicine can help or the fear of it? So I kept taking them. It doesn't seem like 2 every 3 or 4 hours is alot but they add up. I won't write scripts for them like candy... that is for sure. These pills have my respect.

    Immodium.. Loperamide (spelling) is related to morphine... it will get rid of the abdominal cramping. At higher doses (NOT RECOMMENDED LOL) it got rid of withdrawal symptoms in monkeys.

    To my knowledge, Immodium only works on the mu opoid receptors in the intestines (myenteric plexus) (decreasing gut motility -thus help with the runs and the resulting electrolyte balance)... So no CNS involvement because it cannot cross the BBB. Thus it is good to relieve symptoms but not add to the problem.

    I still want the D5- 0.5 normal saline with 20 kcl tho... IV hydration works so much faster... Classic medical school hangover cure too. If you can get past the needle and is much more pleasant than drinking tons of water and gatorade.

    Yeah Gatorade is a good substitute tho. Immodium ... I wouldn't trade it for the world... also I am taking an antihistimine (bennadryl or any motion sickness / antiemetic pill ... dramamine, phenergan) to get sleep and stop the anxiety. Phenergan is the one I am using. Certain things you cannot take this with tho... always check out interactions before taking anything... better yet check with your dr cuz otc stuff cause just as harmful drug interactions as rx stuff.

    That is just what I am trying and I have felt better to some extent... of course I am still chewing Tylenol Go Tabs like they are candy (which is really bad).

    This is really hard.... but it could always be worse.

  6. #6
    ydnarb is offline New Member
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    Smile

    well it sounds like you are getting things under control, you do sound better than you did when i read your first post. For me the 1st day of withdrawal is the hardest, day 2 isnt the greatest, day 3 kinda yucky but getting better, day 4 you can really tell things are starting to get better.
    And it is great that you dont have the drug seeking behavior...it may have eventually gotten to that point if you hadnt have stopped now.

    This is my 3rd day of suboxone, i was taking anywhere from 100-200 mgs of hydrocodone a day for 3 years and then went to methadone (20 - 50mgs) a day for about 6 months. ..most non rx'd of course. anyway, i started suboxone on sunday, and it made me very very sick, apparently i had stuff in my system still, even though it had been like 53 hours since i had 10mg of methadone. Anyway, the stuff helps some but my stomach seems to be killing me. I go back to the doctor tomorrow, he said he may change me to subotux...do you know anything about the difference between them. I've read some stuff but didnt know if you'd heard of anything.

    if you would like you can try to email me on here, i dont know if it works or not, you can try it.
    stay strong! When things get their worst its helps to fake a smile, eventually you'll make yourself believe it.

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