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Addicted to opiates/oxy's for 1-2 years (300mg). Now on 8mg Suboxone. Cold turkey.
  1. #1
    opiatesNsubs is offline New Member
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    Default Addicted to opiates/oxy's for 1-2 years (300mg). Now on 8mg Suboxone. Cold turkey.

    I was on and off oxy's, perks, vicodin for about a year or two. My friends got hooked bad but I had rules and thought I could beat the system. When I woke up feeling >>>>ty, I took prescribed adderal (30mg RX). That helped me, gave me some energy and just masked any withdrawal symptoms from around 930am to 2-4pm. Then I would take one 30mg icy at that time, another at 7pm and another at 11-12 before I went to sleep. My friends that got hooked fast took in the morning and I think that difference helped me not increase my dose.

    I would go off and on this stuff all the time for about a year and a half. Wether I couldn't get it, hated hiding it from my girlfriend and family, or just was sick at myself for getting into this disgusting habit. My withdrawal experiences were never too terrible. Not as bad as my friends who would never be able to go through it once. They went straight to suboxone. I think because I was taking less than them, I was able to when they were not. I had a night of insomnia (maybe a few hours of sleep), sweats, chills...etc. Woke up feeling pretty terrible but the adderal helped me and the 2nd night wasn't as bad so feeling the tides turning, and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, made me feel much better mentally. I took a month or two off once, but any chance I could get blues (oxy) or perks or vics from any of my dealers, I missed the feeling, thought this time would be different and got back into it.
    A year and a half of this, and then suddenly I couldn't find anything. No one I knew had or could find in NYC. I went 4-6 months off blues (oxy) but here and there, got my hands on some perks.
    Then all of the sudden it's mid-September and I had a slight operation done and I was in discomfort. They prescribed me something with like 5mg of some slight pain killer, mostly Tylenol or something. My girlfriend hated drugs, so I didn't even take one. Barely took anything for a few months now. And I called a guy and asked him if he knew someone with pain killers and the guy had EVERYTHING. Especially blues. I started to get a few at a time. Quickly I was doing three a day but this time the adderal wasn't helping me. Maybe because my job started earlier but come noon I needed my first pill. Then I started taking 4-5 a day. Then I started increasing from one 30mg blue/oxy at a time to 1.5 and then I was doing like 6 a day. Waking up worse and adderal helping less and less. Then for a month or two I was taking 9-12 30mg blues/oxy's a day. Hiding it from my family and girlfriend. Going to the bathroom 7 times a day for 15-20 minutes at a time, when the truth is I barely had a bowl movement once a day. I gained weight. Had no life in me or desire. Lost my mojo. And burnt through ALOT of cash. My brother, and my friend gave me an intervention during this time. And I got angry at them even though I knew they were right and coming from love. But I knew I had a problem but with my girlfriend in the dark, if I confessed, I would lose her, I didn't know what withdrawal was going to be like and I needed to work.
    At the end of December I went on a trip with my family to a beach in the Caribbean so I thought I'd bring a few perks I had and take a few the first day or two and go through withdrawal there. My girlfriend wouldn't be there and wouldn't know. Because otherwise I'm with her every night so I thought this was a good plan.
    Until now I never experienced full out withdrawal from this stuff. But because now I was taking 6 for a few months and 10-12 (30mg oxy) for a month or two. When I went through withdrawal this time it was COMPLETELY different.
    My legs were on fire (Restless Leg Syndrome). I slept 20 minutes. I had the chills. The sweats. It was the worst night ever. I couldn't eat the next day. I walked around the block once and then felt like I was going to faint. I told my family it was because I was dehydrated and the flu. We had the doctor come the next day and he said he thought it looks like >>>>>> withdrawal but I insisted it wasn't and he prescribed me a clonopin or something with an 'a'. I got threw it and went 10 days sober, but this time I had longer term symptons. I took clonopin to sleep. But barely slept. Maybe a few hours a night if I was lucky and tossing and turning for hours at many points in the night. I also had weird, high-anxiety dreams that freaked me out. Nothing specific. But what freaked me out the most was in those 10 days, maybe two or three nights I woke up, with the most terrible 'vertigo' feelings. That's the only way I could explain it. But I couldn't speak or think and it freaked me out so much.
    After 10-12 days of barely ANY sleep, it was New Years and I can't deal with insomnia so I guess you know what I'm about to say, but I called my guy and picked up a few blues. Like 5. I know my tolerance should have gone down so I took it slow. But then I could sleep. Didn't need to take any clonopin or anything.

    I started probably at like 3-4 a day but before you say 'oxy's the devil' I was back at 6 a day and not too long after I was back at 10. All this happened from Jan 1- Feb 7.

    I had no more cash and I really felt like I wanted to get away from this. My friends were on suboxone so I thought maybe I'd do that but this time I thought I'd tell my family. This way I couldn't hide it from them ever again. I had bright blue eyes, so I told them how to know if I ever relapsed, my pupils become like pin size. But I didn't tell my girlfriend because I knew she would leave me and I felt depressed and I am and have been selfish on this stuff, and didn't want to lose her.

    I didn't tell my family the whole truth. I told them it was only a half a year to 9 months tops. And that it was ONLY perks. And I had like 20 in my bag so I have that to them. I also told them about the adderal and have them that also.

    I kept 3 blues in my wallet. Used them to just sleep for the next day / night until we went to the addiction therapist the next day.

    He prescribed me 8mg suboxone. He said I would feel completely normal and great. But right off the bat I felt these subs were making me sick kinda but maybe that was because I went completely off oxy and adderal at once. I told my girlfriend, and she stayed with me by my side while I withdrawal. She said she would never be able to trust me again. This wasn't the first time I lied to her. I lied to her about other less drugs a few times and she caught me but after a few days we got back together. Of course this time it was much more serious.

    I told her I was going to get my life together, never lie to her again..etc

    I took off work and the first 2 months on suboxone was hell. Every day. I felt sick and unmotivated. And all I could think about were blues / oxy, every minute of every day. That it might make me feel better...etc

    I never told anyone this but after two months of feeling like I was in hell, I took 36 hours off subs and for one weekend, went back to blues.

    I felt withdrawal symptoms for one day or two and then went back to subs. And again I felt like >>>> for a month.

    I started working out once a week, then twice a week and that HELPED so much. AND after that third month, I barely thought about blues / oxy and if it popped into my head it just popped right out. Mentally I felt much more in control. But I still felt like >>>> most of the time. I know the suboxone was making me sick.

    My therapist wanted to put me on depression meds and I told him I wanted to get off subs until I went on DEPRESSION meds. That's a big deal. And even though I feel depressed, it can be from these subs. And maybe he was just trying to keep me as a client because I brought up once or twice that I wanted to taper.

    Anyways after four months I started to taper. Went down 1mg a week, and after a month I was down to 4mg from 8. And I feel a little better going from 8 to 7 and then 7 to 6, but when I went to 5 I started to feel worse and when I went to 4 I felt terrible.

    I think it was because I was used to take 4mg (half) in the morning and the other 4mg (half) at dinner time or before I went to sleep. And now when I'm taking 4mg a day, I took it all at once mid-day and that messed me up, along with going down too fast I think.

    But I stayed at 4mg for 2 weeks and then I couldn't take it anymore and went back up to 6-8mg a day, and felt a little better but still felt so sick every day.

    Now it's been 6 months, and for the past few weeks I've been taking 6-8-10mg a day.

    I was going away for the weekend and they wouldn't refill my prescription because it was 8 days away from the 30 days I needed to wait. I thought I had enough for the weekend because I had one in my wallet, probably a few in my backpack, a few in my briefcase...etc

    That Friday night I realize I only have the one packet in my wallet and it only has 2mg and I can't find any anywhere else. I checked everywhere. I took the 2mg around 4pm Friday and then just took it day by day.

    Saturday was fine, Sunday was fine, just felt a little tired. But I had adderal and a little clonopin to sleep.

    Monday hit and I felt bad withdrawal symptoms. Chills, yawning, exhaustion, fatigue. But NOTHING like my withdrawals before. Only 5% the intensity so it was fine. But I read blogs and I saw that it doesn't hit you til day 3-4 and then just gets terrible and worse and worse for 5 days to weeks to even months in some cases. So I was REALLY scared this was the first day of many and that it was going to get worse and worse, slowly.

    The next day came and I felt fine. Thank god.

    So have the next few days. But now it's Saturday. If you don't count the last Friday where I took 2mg, it's Day 7 and the adderal / clonopin has been helping. But sleeping was a disaster tonight and for the first time I felt a slight Restless Leg Syndrome and just tossed and turned from 2-530. I usually take 1 clonopin to sleep and between this time I took 3 or 4 clonopins and nothing helped. I took a hot shower and then fell back to sleep. I also have been feeling extra anxiety and depression so I went to the pharmacy today and got Vitamin B6 (25mg) and American Gingseng because I heard that helps.

    I can't deal with the insomnia or the Restless Leg Syndrome. But I don't want to go back to Suboxone.

    Do you think it's going to get worse from here? Better and I'm just psyching myself out?

    How long will this last? I'm on like Day 7-8. And luckily I haven't felt much w/d symptons. Do you think I'm in the clear?

    I'm going to try and excersize more. But is there anything else I can do? I hate insomnia, and RLS.

    Does anyone have advice?

    I'm so sorry this post was so long I just haven't written down my whole story in months and I just couldn't stop. I'm sorry.

  2. #2
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey there. I suspect theres 3 reasons why you didn't fair so well on the subs….

    1. You may have been on much too high of a dose and that cam make you feel sick.
    2. It's possible you had a reaction to the Naloxone that's in the Suboxone.
    3. Mixing benzo's (Klonopin) with sub is never a good idea nad probably the cause of all your problems.

    I'm willing to bet if you weren't taking the Klonopin and had been placed on a much lower dose of sub you would be feeling much, much better. Can't stop the benzo (klonopin) abruptly or serious problems can occur. It needs to be tapered very slowly over time.

    No, unfortunately I don't think you're out of the woods quite yet. The 2mg of sub you stopped is still a lot of sub seeing how it's extremely strong stuff. The wd's from 2mg can linger for a week or longer. Sorry.

    I'm not certain how to best advise you if you don't want back on the subs. What I would do if it were me is probably get back on 2mg of sub a day and stay on that same dose a while giving your system plenty of time to adjust itself. After around a week or so you could begin slowly tapering the Klonopin down to the smallest dose possible then jumping from the benzo. That would eliminate that problem. That's IF you are willing to do the subs again and give them an honest chance. In most every case the lower the dose of sub the better you will feel. That 8mg per day is a WHOPPER of a dose!

    Exercise will definitely help the most. Try the Thomas Recipe minus the benxo in it. Heres the link to it below -
    https://www.drugs.com/forum/featured...wal-35169.html

    Many swear by the recipe. Get extra protein in your body to provide lacking energy issues. And stay well hydrated. Sub can dehydrate you so drink lots of fluids especially water. Hope this helps.

    Randy

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