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  • 1 Post By iloerose
Oxycodone Withdraw
  1. #1
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Oxycodone Withdraw

    Well I knew this would come one day. In January 2011 I discovered the VA would take care of me. I had no job, have been addicted to weed and pills all of my life, that is since I was very your staring with sniffing Gas from the lawnmower when I was 7 years old. Then one day I was building my model car and I noticed how sweet the glue smelt. When I sniffed it, it also got me high. I have been addicted to just about anything that would help get me out of my place. As I have had a very difficult childhood including both physical and psychological abuses, I found escape in these drugs. They were my friends. Getting back to the VA, in 2011 I was in the process of being diagnosed with PTSD due to MST, clinical depression and anxiety. I had bad mussel spasms in my neck and back. I was given a 30 days supply of Vicodin starting at 2 5mg a day. Wow, thank you VA, or at least I thought. Every year after that my dosage was increased, treating the symptom, not the cure. I was up to 6 pills everyday. The VA gave me 180 per month and they would also give me 3 months at a time. Bad move for me. I would always run out early. I needed to take 20mg at a time three times a day. Now the VA Doc has moved me to taking Oxycodon 5mg 6 per day which just does not help. I end up taking at least 8 per day unless I need to get high, then I take more and then I run out. I have been trying to quit by reducing my dosage but I have proven I cant trust myself. When I am feeling bad, I take more to feel better, both both for my psychology and reducing the physically pain.

    I'm so sick of this life style. Again I am out until next week. I cut back my dosages as I was running out due to bad management. I went from 10 per day or more to 4 5mg on Thursday, Three on Friday, nothing yesterday (Saturday) to nothing again today. No Sleep, not hungry, no support, no meds, lots of physical pain, depressed just counting the days until I get my script refilled, then it begins again. I just want to be free and live my life without drugs and or alcohol. My day looks like taking my meds first thing in the am, smoking pot, watching tv, sitting on my but wasting away. I hardly ever leave my home. I isolate. Today is my second day with nothing. I feel a bit better than yesterday but still am sick. I use the pot to get by. I need a job but cant get work due to the pot in my system. Its been five years and I am still waiting for my VA case to be approved after five years of appeals. I dont know what to do.

  2. #2
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    3,926

    Default

    You need to see someone and fess up. That's the only way out of this. I don't know what your injuries are, but you are also using to treat psychological problems and that only backfires, as you know. The one thing about opiates for long term pain is that often you find that the pain isn't as bad once you are off the opiates. Isolation is a part of addiction. I hate to say it but the pot doesn't help this. I really hope you get through your case with the VA, but you can't wait for this. I am urging you to GET HELP for you addiction. We can support you here and you can post, vent whatever, as this is your thread and your journey. Use it to get your thoughts out. You can make this. BUT you have to WANT IT. WANTING IT MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED IN YOUR LIFETIME IS YOUR ONLY WAY OUT. As long as you've been addicted to something or other, it's going to take more than this board to help you. YOU don't DESERVE to live this way. YOU deserve much better. You can get it. Take that step and find outside help. Call around to addiction services. Don't jump to methadone either, that's liquid handcuffs nightmare. Just get help: Hit up NA or AA. Please don't stop posting because of anything I've said, this is your thread and my response is my opinion. Go to need to talk and post there. More traffic, more support. Look up ARTIST_658's thread: Ask Ruth, she's taken a sabbatical from the board, but her posts are definitely valid. Think about breaking this cycle, you don't need to live a life ruled by opiates. I wish you all the best.

    Peace,

    Iloerose
    Randy35 likes this.

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