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to robert_325, Fedup, ddave45 and anyone else: I need some words of comfort
  1. #1
    sjan17 is offline Member
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    Default to robert_325, Fedup, ddave45 and anyone else: I need some words of comfort

    Hey guys,
    I was banned from this site for the last few days and I had no idea until I emailed drugs.com and asked if the site was down. They said they saw some suspcious activity by me like trying to download a big file or something. I have no idea what they are talking about. Anyway, I have access again, thank God. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this. I don't have a partner in my life and my 3 kids are busy doing their own thing and I don't really want to discuss this with them much anyway. Sure, I have great friends, but they don't really know how it feels so I feel they don't really relate. You guys are all I have and I've missed being on here as it really helps to not feel alone. I've thought about going to a NA meeting in my area just so I can talk with someone in the same situation. I also don't feel like I have a good PM doctor as she's the one that started me on 16mgs, didn't do the induction correctly at all and wanted to put me on 24mgs the second day and I refused. She then ok, you can do your way and just gave me a script for 15 8mg/2mg of subs. I have questions.....can you all please advise since you've been there? I need to hear from you. I feel so discouraged because the wd symptoms are not stablizing. Here's what is happening... this Friday, 2/17/12 will be only one month since on subs (should have just gone CT since I wasn't a long time user, well, just from what I've read, others in my position, did CT and just suffered for 1 week) I just couldn't afford to miss work so that's why I took the sub route. I was on norco for about 3 years, started off 3 or 4 day, but as we know, the body becomes tolerant and needed more so by the end I was at 8-10and then the dr. put me on opana 40mg for 2 months. I had enough so I decided no more opiates. I'll figure out what to do about my back pain after I'm opiate free were my thoughts. Well, as I taper, the back pain is getting really bad and makes it difficult to taper. I was on 2 mgs pretty much right away and every time I tried to taper, I just had a hard time so I wanted awhile. Today, I am on my 2nd day of 1.5mgs, but it's been hard. I took .5 around 8:00 then I try to hold out, but the biggest wd is the hotflash or sweats. I'm at work and it's so embarrassing to sweat like a pig. I also yawned about 50 times yesterday. At night I took around 5, while still at work I took another .5 but when I got home around 7, the wd's started again, sweating with chills too.UGH! it's so miserable so I took another .5 so I know I'm not suppose to dose 4 times, but i was hoping maybe I could get by with 1mgs. Day 2, I dosed .5 at 8:00, then at 2:00 and then at 5:00 and now i'm good. I had a long meeting in the afternoon so I just couldn't be in there sweating and miserable. At least I'm still at 1.5. I know I need to be consistent with the times and only 2x/day. I'm trying the best I can while working....it's hard when you have to work and function normally as if nothing is wrong with you. Question: does anyone know about neurontin? does it help with pain? should I get on this to help with my back pain. I have these knots in my trapeze area that are like rocks and I cannot soften them for nothing. I've spent so much money trying every treatment out there....trust me, literally everything like steriod injections, botox on my back (horrible experience) to weekly deep tissue massages to micro current, 3 chiropractors, 3 acupunturist you name it. No one can help me, thus the whole reason I started on this journey. I tried cymbalta but I can't take anything that targets depression. It just wigs me out and I just stopped taking it....I'm not depressed. I just thought if i tried a drug to help with my pain, I might get through this better. Also,what about clondin..isn't this for helping wd of opiates with sweating ? Do you think this would help the wd just while I taper and get off the subs? Please advise. Maybe I should find an addictionologist. Btw, if you go see one, does anyone know if it shows up on a background check? Also, I've been taking L-tyrosine (2000mg) is that enough? Isn't this suppose to give me energy? I thought it was helping at first, but now I don't feel like it's doing anything. I'm also taking the L-phen, same amount. I know someone suggested D-phen and I've ordered it, but the isn't this suppose to help with pain? I'm not getting any relief...maybe I'm not taking enough?? sorry this is so long. I hope you guys have the patience to read this and advise. I've been off this forum for a few days so much pent up anxiety (no, i've never been on xanax or any benzos and do not want to do that).

    Fedupnow, I am so proud of you...I feel like I relate to you the most because you're a few steps ahead of me. Do you not have any pain ....I mean, why were you on pain meds to start with? I wish I didn't have to work every day. It's comforting to know you are not sailing through the tapering only in the sense that I realize it takes work and some suffering. Please don't take it wrong. I don't know how the brain works...I don't feel confident if I should be feeling such wd's. I know everyone is different, but it's not been easy for me. DDAVE45, you've got to be on cloud 9....so proud of you! what about you? do you not have any pain? Robert_325, I need a hug. I look forward to hearing back...thank you....my friends.

  2. #2
    fedupnow is offline Member
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    Hey sjan17,

    Sorry to hear your having issue's.. This is a hard process and i know sometimes reading posts it makes it seem super easy but it's really not that easy.. If you have ever gone thru a hard core detox then you may seem to think it's easy or easier. I once jumped off methadone at 25mg's and I'll tell you it was complete agony and torture!! My tapering on Sub's is no where near that but it still sucks and is annoying at times! When we don't feel good and we know a pill can pull us right out of withdrawal it's hard and takes some strength and determination to pull through it..

    I'm on a new day 5 of .50mg.. I dose 0.25 in the am around 10am and am fine till about 6-7 pm and start getting ache's in my legs and just feel real down and tired. I then push on till about 9-10pm for my next 0.25mg. For some reason I'm not stabilizing well and my night dose doesn't seem to do much at all.. I think i may try and hold out the day today and dose 1 time of .50mg late in the afternoon to see what happens. something has got to give!

    I know for a fact that switching around your daily doses will throw your body out of wack! I tried this many times and it just makes things worse and i find it also makes it take longer to stabilize. You should really try and keep doing 2 daily doses until you get real low then most people will switch to 1 daily dose.. I haven't because I'm worried i won't sleep at night.. I couldn't imagine skipping a day because I go into withdrawal on a daily basis.

    When i was at your level, my day 1 of dropping my dose wasn't that bad. Day2 kinda sucked and not sure if it was harder or easier then day 3.. day 4 I really felt like I was stabilizing and always took another day 5 to make sure and help forget about the misery of withdrawal only to start the process over again lol.. But everyone is different and you may stabilize sooner then that..

    Once i got near 1mg a day I found my sweating issue's are pretty much gone now. I may get a few drips here and there before dosing but it dissipates pretty quick..

    I started taking oxy years ago because of a bad car accident, I couldn't stop taking them and my tolerance sky rocketed, My doc basically told me to get on methadone.. so I did that for 2 years and switched to sub's about 10 months ago. My pain has since been long gone..

    I know some people say the pain meds actually make things worse and once off you will find it getting better.. You are in pain and having withdrawal and that can really suck. Once you get rid of the sub's you may find your pain more tolerable and can treat it other ways..

    I'm sure there are others like Robert who can help you much better with this part my friend..

    Just try your hardest to keep a consistent dose schedule and after 4 days you will feel much better and you will learn to trust the process.. You will stabilize, it just takes a bit of time and getting used too..

    keep in touch and stay strong!

  3. #3
    Suboxowned is offline Member
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    Default Sjan

    Sorry about the issues with the site. I'm around on and off all day. If you want me to give you my email, we can keep in touch all of the time. I'm starting to get nervous about my drops. I'm getting close to 1mg and I'm getting nervous. My family knows what I'm doing and they're here for me but they don't really know how it feels and I understand that so that is why I stay with the forum to keep in touch with people who have been there. It makes a world of difference to know you all are sitting out in my livingroom (that's where my laptop is).
    Keep up the great work Sjan!
    I'll be back in a few hours. I have to go to school.

    See you soon,

    Aud

  4. #4
    DDAVE45 is offline Member
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    sjan...........sorry your going through all this trouble. I think the first thing you need to do is to try and stabilize yourself on a specific dose 2x a day as opposed to skipping around and dosing 4x. Why dont you also try and take .875 in the morning and .875 at nite ( which would be 1.75 total). just take the 2mg strip...cut it in half ( 1mg and 1mg) ...take both of those and cut in half (four .5 strips) ........take two of the .5's and cut those in half ( .25 and .25) ............cut both of those in half (four .125 strips)
    Take (.5 +.25+.125=.875).......2x a day..................sorry for the long post but just figured i would explain it.....its a little slower than the 25% reduction, but at the same time it still is a reduction and it might make things a little easier on you.......i actually dont have any back pain or anything so i cant really relate to you there......but try the way i explained and you should be good to go after a couple days
    fedupnow likes this.

  5. #5
    sjan17 is offline Member
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    Default appreciate hearing from you fedupnow!

    Quote Originally Posted by fedupnow View Post
    Hey sjan17,

    Sorry to hear your having issue's.. This is a hard process and i know sometimes reading posts it makes it seem super easy but it's really not that easy.. If you have ever gone thru a hard core detox then you may seem to think it's easy or easier. I once jumped off methadone at 25mg's and I'll tell you it was complete agony and torture!! My tapering on Sub's is no where near that but it still sucks and is annoying at times! When we don't feel good and we know a pill can pull us right out of withdrawal it's hard and takes some strength and determination to pull through it..

    I'm on a new day 5 of .50mg.. I dose 0.25 in the am around 10am and am fine till about 6-7 pm and start getting ache's in my legs and just feel real down and tired. I then push on till about 9-10pm for my next 0.25mg. For some reason I'm not stabilizing well and my night dose doesn't seem to do much at all.. I think i may try and hold out the day today and dose 1 time of .50mg late in the afternoon to see what happens. something has got to give!

    I know for a fact that switching around your daily doses will throw your body out of wack! I tried this many times and it just makes things worse and i find it also makes it take longer to stabilize. You should really try and keep doing 2 daily doses until you get real low then most people will switch to 1 daily dose.. I haven't because I'm worried i won't sleep at night.. I couldn't imagine skipping a day because I go into withdrawal on a daily basis.

    When i was at your level, my day 1 of dropping my dose wasn't that bad. Day2 kinda sucked and not sure if it was harder or easier then day 3.. day 4 I really felt like I was stabilizing and always took another day 5 to make sure and help forget about the misery of withdrawal only to start the process over again lol.. But everyone is different and you may stabilize sooner then that..

    Once i got near 1mg a day I found my sweating issue's are pretty much gone now. I may get a few drips here and there before dosing but it dissipates pretty quick..

    I started taking oxy years ago because of a bad car accident, I couldn't stop taking them and my tolerance sky rocketed, My doc basically told me to get on methadone.. so I did that for 2 years and switched to sub's about 10 months ago. My pain has since been long gone..

    I know some people say the pain meds actually make things worse and once off you will find it getting better.. You are in pain and having withdrawal and that can really suck. Once you get rid of the sub's you may find your pain more tolerable and can treat it other ways..

    I'm sure there are others like Robert who can help you much better with this part my friend..

    Just try your hardest to keep a consistent dose schedule and after 4 days you will feel much better and you will learn to trust the process.. You will stabilize, it just takes a bit of time and getting used too..

    keep in touch and stay strong!
    Thanks for being in touch. I relate to you cuzz you're stuggling a bit too, but you nothing compared to me. I guess today was a tiny bit better. I know I need to only dose 2x day. Like I said, it's just really hard when you're working and you have meetings and places to go to where you gotta talk. I just sweat too much. I cannot wait until this goes away. I've never ever done a detox before. This is all new to me and can't believe I'm in it, but I just have to keep going forward. I only have 8 films left. I DO NOT want to have to get more. The only w/d I get that is most annoying like I said is the sweats. It's so weird how everyone is different. I never have bathroom issues, but I used to be severely constipated while on opiates. The subs have made me normal in that respect. The sweats and fatigue feeling, the yucky "just don't feel like myself feeling". My eye has stopped twitching so that's good. As I sit here, I feel the heat coming on in my head/face....like severe hotflashes. anyway, you are so fortunate that you have no pain to deal with. Thanks for your concern & friendship. I will try very hard to dose 2x only and hope to stablize soon. I plan on staying at 1.5 until I do. Stay in touch ....let me know how you are doing daily. I'll be checking.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-16-2012 at 09:32 PM.

  6. #6
    sjan17 is offline Member
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    Default Hi Suboxowned...thanks for writing!

    Quote Originally Posted by Suboxowned View Post
    Sorry about the issues with the site. I'm around on and off all day. If you want me to give you my email, we can keep in touch all of the time. I'm starting to get nervous about my drops. I'm getting close to 1mg and I'm getting nervous. My family knows what I'm doing and they're here for me but they don't really know how it feels and I understand that so that is why I stay with the forum to keep in touch with people who have been there. It makes a world of difference to know you all are sitting out in my livingroom (that's where my laptop is).
    Keep up the great work Sjan!
    I'll be back in a few hours. I have to go to school.

    See you soon,

    Aud
    Hello there...yes I'd love to get your email. How do we do that? Do you feel ok about just putting it on here? I'd love to stay in touch via email. I was thinking that I wish I would have had some folk's email when the site wasn't working for me. Where are you at now...you said almost at 1mg? I know what you mean by the family not really relating. I feel just like you here...that's why it's great to share with you and others here. I'm trying my best...that's all we can do... we have to do this...just plunge forward...but man, it's not fun at all...harder than I thought for sure. This is new to me. Anyway, you must be a youngster in college - eh? can I ask what school do you go to? What state ya in? I'm in FL. I work in higher education. Have a nice night and be back in touch. Btw, do you get any pain? any w/d's? You might have said in your other posts...but can you briefly tell me how you started on pain meds? accident? Thanks. SJAN17

  7. #7
    sjan17 is offline Member
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    Default thanks for the suggestion....

    Quote Originally Posted by DDAVE45 View Post
    sjan...........sorry your going through all this trouble. I think the first thing you need to do is to try and stabilize yourself on a specific dose 2x a day as opposed to skipping around and dosing 4x. Why dont you also try and take .875 in the morning and .875 at nite ( which would be 1.75 total). just take the 2mg strip...cut it in half ( 1mg and 1mg) ...take both of those and cut in half (four .5 strips) ........take two of the .5's and cut those in half ( .25 and .25) ............cut both of those in half (four .125 strips)
    Take (.5 +.25+.125=.875).......2x a day..................sorry for the long post but just figured i would explain it.....its a little slower than the 25% reduction, but at the same time it still is a reduction and it might make things a little easier on you.......i actually dont have any back pain or anything so i cant really relate to you there......but try the way i explained and you should be good to go after a couple days
    Hey DDAVE45,
    I will do that I promise if the next 2 days don't improve and I keep sweating. I promise to dose only 2x/day. I know that this is what I need to do, but as I said when you have to work, be in meeting, talk in meetings, you just can't be sweating like I was. Anyway, I only have 8 films left and I feel like I stayed at the 2mgs for too long, but I thought it would be easier to taper if I waited. It's not been the case for me. I want to try to stay at 1.5. I dosed 3 times last two days not 4, I think I made a typo. At least I only took 1.5 though. I know I'm screwing myself up by splitting in 3 .5mgs, so for the next 2 or more days till I feel stablized, I will stay at 1.5mg (.75 + .75). If it's truly unbearable, I'll take you up & take it super slow. I never thought it would be this difficult. I think feeling the back pain is making it worse, but I just have to keep going and hope it gets better. Thanks for your support...really means a lot !

  8. #8
    DDAVE45 is offline Member
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    sjan.......how r u doing? where r u at now?

  9. #9
    sjan17 is offline Member
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    Default Much better....I now know what stablize means...

    Quote Originally Posted by DDAVE45 View Post
    sjan.......how r u doing? where r u at now?
    Hey DDAVE45,
    I posted earlier to Fedupnow ...I'm copying it here again for you.
    It does get easier once you get below 2mgs. I had the hardest time stablizing below 2mgs, but finally, it happened. I stayed at 1.5 for a while and really noticed what the meaning of being stable is. I felt bad in the morning, but once I took the morning dose at 8:00 about 15 minutes later, felt totally normal and this time, stable means no major sweats around early afternoon. Finally, overcame the sweats thank God. No more eye twitching either. Never had any bathroom or RLS issues at all. It really does work...you just have to fight through it a bit and then you really do stablize. I'm feeling so much better now about this. Today, I only took .5 at 8:00 and did fine all day. I took only .25 for my evening dose and doing fine so far. I think I'm going to do okay at .75, but plan to stay here for at least 5 days before tapering more. I think it gets easier to taper once you get past the 2mgs, at least for me anyway. I know we're all different.

    It's 11:22 pm and I'm still good. Just took 4 advils for the back pain and have a heating pad on my back, but don't feel any sub w/d. My goal is to stay on .75 mg rest of week and Saturday, taper down. How are you doing? How many days totally clean are you?
    Are you feeling back to normal? Thanks for your concern

  10. #10
    Suboxowned is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sjan17 View Post
    Hello there...yes I'd love to get your email. How do we do that? Do you feel ok about just putting it on here? I'd love to stay in touch via email. I was thinking that I wish I would have had some folk's email when the site wasn't working for me. Where are you at now...you said almost at 1mg? I know what you mean by the family not really relating. I feel just like you here...that's why it's great to share with you and others here. I'm trying my best...that's all we can do... we have to do this...just plunge forward...but man, it's not fun at all...harder than I thought for sure. This is new to me. Anyway, you must be a youngster in college - eh? can I ask what school do you go to? What state ya in? I'm in FL. I work in higher education. Have a nice night and be back in touch. Btw, do you get any pain? any w/d's? You might have said in your other posts...but can you briefly tell me how you started on pain meds? accident? Thanks. SJAN17
    Hey Sjan,
    I started 1mg today (Monday). I have felt good all day except I'm wide awake right now and I don't think my mind is going to want to sleep any time soon. That's the sucky part--no sleep.
    I'm in Illinois and I am going to Rasmussen College. I'm 42 years old going back to school, crazy, huh?
    I'm having a hard time getting support from my husband. He's somewhat a selfish person. He grew up being spoiled rotten by his mom and sisters and expects me to carry on the tradition..........ain't happenin' I've explained to him how this process is going to pan out and that there will be days that I just don't feel like doing anything. He said he understood and he would be here to help...blah, blah, blah. He's too busy drinking with his buddies. He's an alcoholic. I don't drink anymore. I haven't drank in about 4 years (occasionally, I'll have a couple of beers but I do not get drunk, not even buzzed). We have a 9yr old and he has to witness his dad being drunk at least 5 nights a week. He talks to our son like he is another adult, (using the f-word and whatnot) Its a sad, sad situation. God forbid if I try talking to his Mom about this because she will turn it around and make it all my fault!! This relationship has pretty much deteriorated over the last couple of years. So, not only am I trying to taper...I have to worry about him and his actions. I knew he would not be here for me.
    I don't know if they allow you to post email address to tell you the truth.
    Sorry for the long, drawn out post. Its just another hurdle I have to deal with.
    I will beat this.............all of this!

  11. #11
    DDAVE45 is offline Member
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    sjan....so glad your finally getting to understand what it stabalized is. You sound like your doing great. I am 23 days sub free today....stilll no issues other than some wierd dreams. i just try to keep myself as busy as possible.......life doesnt move in a slow motion foggy haze anymore now that im off the subs. (not that it did while i was on the micro doses, but i was def in another world when i was on 2mg) To answer your question....yes i do feel normal......and thats def the best feeling out of all of this.

  12. #12
    DDAVE45 is offline Member
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    suboxowed.......its never too late to go back to school. I give you a lot of credit for doing this and it cant be easy for you given your circumstances.
    Suboxowned likes this.

  13. #13
    DDAVE45 is offline Member
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    sjan....havent heard from you in awhile ....how are you doin?

  14. #14
    sjan17 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by DDAVE45 View Post
    sjan....havent heard from you in awhile ....how are you doin?
    Hi DDAVE45,
    I'm hanging in. I just started at .75mg today, but struggling due to this neck/back pain. I'm feeling really depressed today for some reason. I'm just tired of struggling. I sit all day at a computer too and just have not been too happy as of late. Anyway, I'm hanging in and fighting the pain off. I have an appt with an osteopath on Wed. so maybe he can finally figure out what is wrong with me. If it wasn't for this neck/back pain, I really think I'd be off these subs.
    Anyway, I really your concern. Thank you for checking in. I'll post again after my appt.

  15. #15
    DDAVE45 is offline Member
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    hopefully they can finally tell you whats going on with your kneck......having constant pain like that cant be easy. Once that is dealt with i think you'll be off the subs in no time.

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