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hydrocodone improves focus?
  1. #31
    indigo415 is offline Junior Member
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    Interesting. I am the same which led to my addiction. In the beginning I could take 2 and feel wonderful and energetic all day. Now I will get occasional boosts of energy, but for the most part not too much. Just a little better false sense of well being. The dilaudid comment is opposite for me. It is one thing that I can do 1 and feel wonderful for the whole day. I love them but they are pretty rare around here and expensive.

  2. #32
    molovekayak is offline New Member
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    Default curious george

    I can relate to you completely. Though I do not agree with what everyone has said on here because I am NOT an addict and have been taking several different pain drugs for months now. They do make me feel more focused and raises my energy level, a lot! I suffer from SLE Lupus and I have really bad back, I am only 32 too haha. I finally found a great pain clinic that is very strict and they do not seem concerned with me becoming an addict. I am on a lot of meds. I suffer from anxiety (PTSD) and I found after many meds that cymbalta works great with less side affects. I also take adderall because of the bad fatigue I get from Lupus and (dr suggested cymbalta can make you have fatigue too) it seems to help a lot! I do not take it everyday though cuz it gives me headaches. I also take oxycodone for my back and my dr just gave me morphine sulf 30mg to help level the pain out more. I honestly do not notice a difference at all from the morphine. I thought morphine was this big bad pain killer and in fact I do not feel a difference at all in the pain. I think everyone has different issues with meds and self control. Good luck!! Ohhh I had a very very bad experince on Ambien. Very bad! I take trazodone for night anxiety as it helps me sleep and I do not feel groggy in the morning at all. I also have xanax that I take once in a while when my severe anxiety gets bad. It is the lowest dose you can get and I do not see what the fuss is over it. I have heard of people abusing it but I do not get it. It just helps me from going into a panic attack. Man after reading this it may seem like I am a huge pill popper lol. I am not though. I am very honest with my drs and I am prescribed everything I take and I take them as prescribed only. Good luck!!

  3. #33
    isla1970 is offline New Member
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    My research brought me to this thread, I thought I was the only one who had increased focus, motivation etc on hyrdro's. I have been Dx w/adult ADHD - Hyperactive, been on Concerta & now on Adderall XR - neither help with focus, motivation etc. Only benefit is less impulsvie.

    Vicodin/Norco et al do what Adderall does to most people, more social, talkative, friendly, get so much done, improve mood, not overwhelmed with life, can do my job better, I could go on & on. Stim's do not elevate my mood at all, no euphoria, some hyperfocus but no motivation & more depressed mood.

    I know everyone's brain chemistry is different but it just blows my mind that there can be such a difference. I see my PDoc in a couple days, cannot tolerate Adderall anymore, wish it worked like hydos do for me but obviously no Dr is going to prescribe narcotics for ADHD.

  4. #34
    beachtech is offline New Member
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    Default If you become addicted, you, not Hydrocodone, are at fault.

    Quote Originally Posted by mrsi View Post
    PLEASE READ THIS!!!
    To you two who just posted that Hydrocodone makes you feel better and focus more, I warn you: YOU ARE HEADED DOWN A DANGEROUS ROAD. TURN BACK!!! I felt and still feel the same way about opiates, and now I have been in rehab for an addiction to them for six months! ...
    I'm really sick of addicts blaming Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone or the doctors that prescribe them. Please realize that these addicts are taking WAY MORE than prescribed per day. Like 30-40 pills a day to get HIGH.

    I never take Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone to get high. My doc prescribed them 1-2 a day for a particular chronic yet periodic body pain (probably a little overkill, but my doctor said it is OK). I only take about two to four a WEEK, mostly on the weekends (but not every weekend) so I can get out of bed and accomplish things around the house. I have been prescribed this for about 9 years and I am not addicted. I have not built up a tolerance for it; I am taking just one pill at a time as prescribed. I have not sold my car/house/wife/parents/kids for Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone.

    When I take it, I feel like a NORMAL PERSON! I have the energy of others my age. I can focus on boring yet necessary tasks. I turn from shy introvert to a very social person. I will occasionally get a little tiny bit of euphoria, but this last, no kidding, about a minute. But that's not why I take it.

    If you are taking more than 1 a day everyday, or more than 4 any day and you are not in severe pain, then you might have a problem. But this is not the Devil's Drug. You just need to be disciplined about not taking it too much.

    BTW, the productivity / social / focus qualities were very noticeable for years when I would take only 1/2 of a Norco (Hydrocodone 10/325). I never built up a tolerance to it because I didn't take it everyday. I told my doctors and they could not explain my desirable side-effects. Then after careful evaluation, my doctor put me on Wellbutrin. Two things happened after this. First, the productivity / social / focus qualities when I took Norco were turned down to a lower level, but still very obvious to me. Second, the Wellbutrin made me more of a normal person in the productivity / social / focus qualities areas all the time, not just when on Norco. If you are having the same desirable side effects, ask your doc for Wellbutrin.

    Mass media (especially Dr. Gupta of CNN that wants to BAN Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone all together) are sensationalizing the stories. Dr. Gupta reported on this poor, innocent college student that died from Oxycodone. However, this college student a) took Oxy that was NOT prescribed to him b) took way more than someone should take at once and c) drank alcohol with it. His friends even said he was "experimenting" with it. This is not Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone's fault, this is a college student being stupid and negligent. But that doesn't get ratings like a story that says Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone and doctors and pharmacy companies are trying to kill you.

    Bottom line, Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone is not inherently dangerous. Stupid people are inherently dangerous.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 09-22-2014 at 10:52 AM.

  5. #35
    Adtanny is offline New Member
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    Thank you. I have been searching for weeks to understand my circumstances with hydrocodone. Had knee surgery two years ago and took hydrocodone for 1st time and felt great and focused. Had two month supply that lasted a year and half as was afraid that would become addicted. took half a pill when I knew I was going to experience a stressful situation or needed to feel focused and motivated. Dr. Does not want to give me any more(it's been 1 year since I have had any). I of course disagree and will try another dr. as there have been occasional periods when hydrocodone would have helped me with life. As you said, it's the people who are usually at fault, not the drug but we all have different strengths and weaknesses.

  6. #36
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by beachtech View Post
    I'm really sick of addicts blaming Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone or the doctors that prescribe them. Please realize that these addicts are taking WAY MORE than prescribed per day. Like 30-40 pills a day to get HIGH.

    I never take Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone to get high. My doc prescribed them 1-2 a day for a particular chronic yet periodic body pain (probably a little overkill, but my doctor said it is OK). I only take about two to four a WEEK, mostly on the weekends (but not every weekend) so I can get out of bed and accomplish things around the house. I have been prescribed this for about 9 years and I am not addicted. I have not built up a tolerance for it; I am taking just one pill at a time as prescribed. I have not sold my car/house/wife/parents/kids for Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone.

    When I take it, I feel like a NORMAL PERSON! I have the energy of others my age. I can focus on boring yet necessary tasks. I turn from shy introvert to a very social person. I will occasionally get a little tiny bit of euphoria, but this last, no kidding, about a minute. But that's not why I take it.

    If you are taking more than 1 a day everyday, or more than 4 any day and you are not in severe pain, then you might have a problem. But this is not the Devil's Drug. You just need to be disciplined about not taking it too much.

    BTW, the productivity / social / focus qualities were very noticeable for years when I would take only 1/2 of a Norco (Hydrocodone 10/325). I never built up a tolerance to it because I didn't take it everyday. I told my doctors and they could not explain my desirable side-effects. Then after careful evaluation, my doctor put me on Wellbutrin. Two things happened after this. First, the productivity / social / focus qualities when I took Norco were turned down to a lower level, but still very obvious to me. Second, the Wellbutrin made me more of a normal person in the productivity / social / focus qualities areas all the time, not just when on Norco. If you are having the same desirable side effects, ask your doc for Wellbutrin.

    Mass media (especially Dr. Gupta of CNN that wants to BAN Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone all together) are sensationalizing the stories. Dr. Gupta reported on this poor, innocent college student that died from Oxycodone. However, this college student a) took Oxy that was NOT prescribed to him b) took way more than someone should take at once and c) drank alcohol with it. His friends even said he was "experimenting" with it. This is not Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone's fault, this is a college student being stupid and negligent. But that doesn't get ratings like a story that says Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone and doctors and pharmacy companies are trying to kill you.

    Bottom line, Hydrocodone/Hydromorphone is not inherently dangerous. Stupid people are inherently dangerous.
    With all due respect, addicts aren't inherently "stupid". You'll find that many of us are well-educated, productive people who certainly didn't want to be addicted to pills. Many of us were prescribed pain meds for legitimate reasons and eventually the meds stopped working (i.e. tolerance), so we took more. Yes, we let things get out of control. As a non-addict, it's very easy for you to stand back and make assumptions. Is it the drug's fault? Of course not. The doctor's fault? No. Are we responsible? Yes. But that doesn't make us stupid or weak. It makes us human, with faults. Read up on the science of addiction - it's not something we want or choose. It's something most of us here struggle with daily, even after the pills are removed from the equation.

    Kat

  7. #37
    AsatruHealer is offline New Member
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    Sounds like a deal with the devil, but I will point out that many great authors, Byron, Keats, Shelley (PB ) Poe and many others made use of natural Opium as a creative aid. I am prescribed an Opioid for Pain relief so my dose might be wrong or a difference in the compounds themselves, and it doesn't improve or detract from my focus. I have a suggestion: have you tried Vervain(v.offiofficinalis) extract ? Dr C.G Jung reportedly found it useful in improving his ability to think, giving greater clarity, and allows leaps of conceptual thought. I use it for writer's block, and meditation as do others. Anybody that has I'm interested to hear from.

  8. #38
    AsatruHealer is offline New Member
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    Kat, you are not an addict, you are involuntarily opiate dependent.

  9. #39
    bp12 is offline New Member
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    I've taken hydrocodone for a few years and it's a wonder drug for pain. The common side effects for most people is relaxed and calm. Also you can experience euphoria. And I too got a good rush of energy when I take them. So therefore of course you're gonna be functioning better cause your basically high. Although you might not appear that way. As long as you can control the amount you take your fine.

  10. #40
    Stephanieg59 is offline New Member
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    I had a tooth pulled n had a bunch or hydrocodone left over and it keeps me up I can sleep for nothing with it and it also makes me want to clean n organize everything it's strange because everyone I've known fall asleep or something!

  11. #41
    KEVINGH is offline New Member
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    How could a depressive medication like the one you desrcibed caused a stimulant like effect

  12. #42
    Stingray2099 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by KEVINGH View Post
    How could a depressive medication like the one you desrcibed caused a stimulant like effect

    I've been taking Hydrocodone for 3+ years, I had 2 back surgeries in 3 weeks, bone spur digging into my spinal cord and a tear in the spinal sack 2.5 weeks later. I was taking a 10/325 every 4-6 hours prior to surgery. The surgery helped with most of the pain, but after the repair to the spinal sack I had to lat flat for 3 days. I think that's what hurt the most. Since then I have taken 1-3 pills almost everyday,I also have issues with my legs and feet. My DR. doesn't think I'm addicted but I'm not sure. It's not like I have to have them, but if I don't take near bed time I will not sleep(too much pain, when I lay down). Last year I went back to school and I noticed that if I can't concentrate, a pill will calm me enough to be able to do my work. I will be asking my regular doctor about this as I feel that my back doctor, while a great surgeon, may be in the drug pushing business. Most of the patients appear to be addicts, but who am I to judge. I don't think 1-2 a day is an addict, but I do have to have them when I need them or I can barely stand-up and walk.

    Just my 2 cents, and thanks for the stories. I'll check with my doctor to see if I have an addiction.

  13. #43
    Diane Horton is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsi View Post
    PLEASE READ THIS!!!
    To you two who just posted that Hydrocodone makes you feel better and focus more, I warn you: YOU ARE HEADED DOWN A DANGEROUS ROAD. TURN BACK!!! I felt and still feel the same way about opiates, and now I have been in rehab for an addiction to them for six months! I was an addict for three years. You will become an addict, no ifs ands or buts! If you take those pills for any extended period of time, even for a month, you will become an addict. And it will ruin your life. You will spend all of your money, time and energy on getting more pills so you won't be sick, and just to feel normal. I know that you probably think you aren't like me, but it doesn't matter who you are! If the Pope took pain pills for more than a month he would be addicted! I am begging you to stop and think about the consequences before it is too late for you.
    That true, opiate addiction is a nightmare, however the Meds prescribed for ADD are just as bad if not worse! I have add and am taking Adderal, However, I had an addiction to painkillers for many years. Thank God I was able to get off them. However since then, I've had a few injuries requiring pain Meds & I've requested Tramadol as initially it was thought to b non addicting...but walla! Pain was gone and as described in original thread I was fully capable of focus, memory returned etc. I feel that there should b research on this as for me it's a miracle drug. And doesn't make me "high" or want to take more.

  14. #44
    Diane Horton is offline New Member
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    It happens with people who suffer from ADD. It's a fact. Perhaps other afflictions as well, I can only speak of my experience.

  15. #45
    Diane Horton is offline New Member
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    Agreed Kat. Addicts are suffering from the disease of addiction. Would u call someone with any other disease stupid? Yes, kids taking these drugs are stupid...but that's part of being a kid, you do stupid things. Don't judge until u have all the facts.

  16. #46
    Diane Horton is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by VinylTulip View Post
    After my child was born last year, I suffered from a herniated disc in my lower back. The pain was excruciating and I was prescribed Vicodin - at this point, I have never taken it or had any idea what it was. After a few months I noticed a change... I was optimistic, had energy and enthusiasm, cleaned like a wild woman, felt like super-mom! 6 months in ot it I'm up to 3/day and can't stop. Finally I ran out and had HORRID withdrawal... but could not get more. I sunk into a depression lasting months. You see, I've dealt with anxiety and depression and mood issues my WHOLE life. I've been to therapists, taken numerous antidepressants, and drank to numb the uncomfort caused by depression. This was the first time in my life I felt free. I can't explain it. I never felt sleepy on it - it's like a cloud lifted and I saw clearly - people even commented of my attitude change and my overall outlook on life. I'm ultimately glad I don't take it anymore, since it is very addictive... but I take Tramadol now and it works wonderfully without the side effects... I know it's not technically given as an anti-depressant, but it's changed my life. I feel wonderful (and no, not "high") but focused, happy, fulfilled.. in a way I never knew I could feel. If I stop taking it, I'm doomed to going back to my old, down, pessimistic self that loathes herself. That terrifies me more than stopping the Tramadol.
    That's my experience to a T!! I have been do bi polar & ADD. However for many many years I was addicted to opiates, you name it I took it. Took me 8 years to finally get off the stuff. Been "clean" 8 years now.
    I've had some injuries in the meantime requiring pain relief and requested Tramadol as it was first believed to be non addictive. Well, it was great! Eased my pain and worked a whole lot better than any ADD Meds ever did. I'm currently on Adderal and it doesn't come close to alleviating my add symptoms like Tramadol does. In addition it doesn't make me "high" or want to take more. I am 52 now, and have back problems, neck problems, bone spurs, arthritis is kicking in, I'm not sure how to broach the subject tho...and to whom? A physician or my psychiatrist. Perhaps both. Adderal is a damn sight more addicting than Tramadol so I'm hoping this won't be an issue. I'm relieved to see I'm not the only one who find this working for them in this manner.

  17. #47
    Diane Horton is offline New Member
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    [deleted - breaching forum rules]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-12-2016 at 04:44 AM.

  18. #48
    itswv is offline New Member
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    I couldn't have said it better myself. I do think some ppl are more susceptible to addiction than others but if you don't get stupid you don't get easily addicted. I have been taking HC/OC, Adderall, etc for years and have had no problems going off of them (many times cold after running out and failing to get refills).

    Awake right now because I took a 10/325 to help my pain before bed, I decided to research HC and ADD and found this post. I have many of the same symptoms and effects as others and have taken many different meds for pain, anxiety, add, etc. I like the effects of each when they are needed but hate taking them when they are not or no longer work for me. I hate anything that makes me tired or sleepy so I always avoided opiates.... until, I had shoulder surgery. The pain was crazy intense so all I wanted to do was take a lot of pain pills, go to sleep and wake up when it was healed! Of course, now I understand why I'm wide awake instead of sleepy!

  19. #49
    Anamundo is offline New Member
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    Default I had the same effects as you

    I took hydrocode after major surgery, the first days I didn't have a lot of pain, then I started to feel some pinching so just in case the pain did begin at night I took the recommended dose. (otherwise the doctor had said to just take Ibuporfen).
    The doctor had also told me if I didn't have pain to just skip pain killers as I would heal faster.

    With that in mind, I tried to not take hydrocodone at all, but that one night I immediately felt so safe, relaxed and calm.
    It helped me because I was going through a difficult time emotionally because I had just had some argument with my family about the surgery.

    It did make me drowsy and sleepy but only for a short time. After a nap I was up and having more than a normal day.

    I noticed that I absolutely did not think of anything else except whatever task at hand, I was also able to sit in-front of my computer
    for long periods of time without getting up.

    All of my life I have suffered from focus problems, but I had yet to seek a doctor for ADHD, or ADD.
    As an adult I realized that it's time to accept my lack of focus issues. During school it was very difficult for me because
    it took 100% of my energy to focus first, then do whatever I had in mind.


    Anyhow, I took half of the prescribed Hydrocodone during the day and it was a life changing experience in terms of focus!
    I was able to accomplish absolutely everything that day that I had set my mind to, in such a calm way.

    I took notice on my brain, I wanted to know the difference in my body and thinking, I was so shocked at how easy it was to do things, that it made me realized how extremely difficult my life has been because of lack of focus and concentration.

    I noticed that naturally my mind has razing thoughts ALL of the time, I think about hundreds of things at once, everything takes my attention, details, etc. I easily switch topics, etc.
    When I was under Hydrocodone I only thought and did what I said I wanted to do, as it should be.


    I am GLAD I read your post and that you RESPONDED WITH AN UPDATE!!!
    I am NOT seeking to become Hydrocodone anything! I understand the risks. BUT you have helped me decide that I need to see
    a doctor about stress management and ADD, FINALLY.

    I feel I am not alone with these focus issues, and in regards to what the doctor said I think it could be just that,
    Hydrocodone calms the body and that's why it created that effect on people like you or me.


    NOW, for people out there DO NOT TAKE HYDROCODONE MORE THAN PRESCRIBED, AND ONLY DO SO FOR PAIN.

    I am now going to seek a Dr to deal with my focus issues and anxiety. I am sure there are other things that will help with this, if you are in the same situation do the same, I am sure there are things out there for our focus issues.


    Thank you!!

  20. #50
    sockert is offline New Member
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    I take it for chronic pain syndrome and it gives me energy, makes me talkative, and I get a ton of stuff done. You're not alone.

  21. #51
    RxGuineapig is offline New Member
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    Live with the constant pain from AIDS for over 10 years, with nothing but tai chi, a stiff drink, and an occasional OTC painkiller, and tell me you wouldn't prefer the dependency. That's my reply.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-03-2017 at 01:22 AM. Reason: Upon posting there was a transcription error

  22. #52
    BeautifulMind is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by curious_jorge View Post
    I was interested to see the posts that have been made since I last checked in, and funny enough to say, I just stumbled across this thread and started reading it before I recalled that I was the one who started it! I guess it's indicative of the ongoing problems I have been having more recently. I wish I could share that in the last couple of years I've discovered "the answer," but I'm still at a loss. I would still love to hear if any of the rest of you have had better luck in finding answers.

    To add what may or may not be related details/clues for my case, since my 2008 post, I've become increasingly fatigued (and honestly fatigue shows up in my doc records back to 2006). I'd initially attributed it to the fact that I often didn't get enough sleep while I was up all hours trying to complete projects while lacking focus (duh... that will make you tired). However, my fatigue has only gotten worse and now i'm having other cognitive symptoms. I came to realize that
    I am so very glad you started this thread. I too have had a similar experience.

    Background for me: I come for a long line of alcoholic and narcotic addicts. When i was in 2nd grade I was diagnosed ADD (there was no ADHD yet) and before there were even multiple options for ADD medications, there was only Ritalin. As i grew up i tried all sorts of meds and was constantly embarrassed about being on meds and in special education classes. I tried a ton over the years moving to less and less habit forming ones until one day on the first official non-addictive ADD drug was released I was on it for 2-3 years and eventually they found out that it increased suicidal tendencies in young teenagers

    (I have been in a constant battle with serious anxiety problems and major depressive disorders; my family did not inform me that this was normal and ran in the family, so I was one of those that suffered in silence and I did really well in my youth because i was a girl scout with a very adventurous troop leader and refused to let my anxiety control wether or not i hiked the Appalachian trail.) Once puberty hit it became much harder to control due to ttpical teenage hormones, bullying, and a dysfunctional alcoholic/ narotic addict household. Anyways once I read the label my senior year I decided I would quit after my spring finals and AP exams. I quit cold turkey. (Bad idea, had some withdrawals that only effected my moods and gave me gnawing hunger for weeks; most ADD meds suppressed appetite.) While it was a bad idea the pro was I realized quitting things was not nearly as hard of a struggle for me as compared to most.

    Present Day: (currently on and SSRI, trazadone for insomnia, and gabapentin.)The first time I was prescribed a narcotic I turned it down after some major dental surgery. I came back 30 mins later in agony. My whole experience was like the book " Too Give A Mouse A Cookie." I had the focus, energy, and euphoria. A few years later I fractured my rib while working, a full time job, part-time job, and a seasonal job, so my dad the addict let me borrow a few for a short amount of time. That's when I got hooked and my dad has every pain killer under the sun and was too messed up to notice if few were missing. It turned into an emergency crutch, when an injury, major depressive/suicidal thoughts crept in, or I had a deadline for college, or when I just really needed to focus, or despite my insomnia meds I still didn't sleep so when it was time to start the day I would take one like a cup of coffee.

    After reading this thread the small majority of us discussing this have several things in common: (Not all but one or more)
    A) Anxiety
    B) Lacking Focus
    C) Either depression, insomnia, or feeling like we might have ADD and end up testing positive.

    The unique contribution I have to this forum is that I was already diagnosed ADD before the depression and anxiety. ADD meds did solve the focus but at a price to my depression and anxiety development once I hit late middle school/high school age (reminder: I started ADD meds in the 2nd grade long enough time for neurological pathways to be compromised and permanently chemically altered)

    One of my degrees is in psychology and knowing I'm not the only one with this kind of high focused energetic reaction is a huge relief. The ADD generation, depression, anxiety, and the effects of narcotics and ADD meds on the youth has intrigued me.

    So far the top 3 repeatedly mentioned anxiety/depressant meds with similar side effects to narcotics are:
    A) Cymbalta
    B) Wellbutrin
    C) Effexor (just started this one myself)

    Narcotic used to self medicate:
    A) hydrocodone/ Oxycodone/ Roxy
    B) Tramadol (which is highly addictive like A)

    For me I've used marijuana when trying to avoid narcotic use. Which surprisingly another substance that I have the opposite response to. I'm "highly" curious ( haha get it, but seriously) to see if those with a similar reaction of focus and energy or anxiety have had a similar reaction like I do which is:
    A) calmer
    B) peaceful
    C) less pain ( mental, emotional, physical)
    D) Effexor and ADD meds can suppress appetite so eating and no more malnutrition
    E) focus
    F) some motivation and energy but smaller scale
    G) to avoid the temptation for narcotics
    H) to help with other health problems not relevant to this forum that if I was in a state for medical pot I would have multiple reasons to have a prescription lol.

    Now for me as ADD meds progressed during my childhood I was constantly wanting the next least habit forming one. At a young age I was aware my family were addicts and I didn't want to be one. I went from Ritalin, to concerta, to stratera. I refused adderall and dexedrine.

    Those in our small group forum, that im just drawing some generalized theories from like the other lists before this, seem to have posted success in the ADD/ADHD medication department with:
    A) Ritalin
    B) Adderall
    C) Dexadrine
    All are stimulants

    A part of my struggle with hydrocodone, which I would classify more so as the occasional self medicating but I'm noticing signs that I could crossover into addiction in the forseable future.

    (especially in the last 2 years, where I have struggled with having PTSD, pain from neck injuries sue to concussions, car accidents, being attacked by my patients at previous job, scoliosis and back pain/shoulder pain from stress knots, my first attempt at suicide and only one so far, having a grand mal seizure at work [I was a mental health assistant at a private residential children's psychiatric facility on the crisis unit; a unit for unstabalized children, before treatment] finding out I have a benign brain tumor, losing my job shortly after "absenteeism" at the hospital, losing my license for 6 months, selling my car after losing my insurance to get close to an answer for my seizure [its extreme prolonged stress is the trigger], have answer for seizures cant afford further treatment, being robbed twice by my roommates and abandoning me with the house debt 2xs, making a desperate and high decision 2nd time to salvage the living situation in fear of having to move back home where I've suffered psychological, physical, and emotional abuse for 15 years about half my life) Guess what.... resulted in me having to move back home lol but seriously forgiving myself seems near on impossible most days.

    A desperate decision of shoplifting resutled in jail time and parole for a long time setting my career way back, this was my fault, my choices, and their is no justification for what I did. I used to dream of being a cop. It's true how desperation for survival can change you in ways you never thought possible. I firmly believe now anyone is capable of the most unimaginable things when it comes right down to it. Every one will have their own breaking moment to cross that line some may never have to reach it and some do.
    Ling story short too late I hope more people start reading this thread. Both my degrees are in psychology and criminal justice so despite my unjustifiable actions it has opened my eyes to a lot of issues we have in society.

    Addiction is an illness in the sense that it is used to cope, self medicate, or temporarily escape mental health, past trauma, trying to keep up while working 2 jobs and to go to college and still have to take out loans, and then working 2-3 jobs just to be able to live on your own with roommates because you can't afford to miss a day of work or school.

    Most people in jail I realized suffered from some sort of life trauma, mental health, being poor, dysfunctional family etc. There are just so many and literally I witnessed first hand situations where minority and gender played a role in them just being arrested, then they lose their jobs, but you gotta pay your monthly fees ...... or you go back to jail .... and the cycle goes on, release, can't find a job, cant get the money in time or you've lost everything, so you go back, do more time, get more fines now that monthly 56 has turned into 100, then 250 etc andwind back up at square one again over and over.....

    Please I would love to hear updates from other people on this forum too!! What's working? What's changed? Did you eventually become Addicted? Did you beat it? What substitutes have you found, coping mechanism, meditations, routines, etc. Neuropsychology and my own mental health struggle has taught me that people react differently to different chemical inputs we ingest and while we have the answers to those that follow the normal reactions, what about those of us with different reactions? Any input is good input. Any story a life lesson and learning opportunity. Don't be afraid or ashamed to share.

  23. #53
    PurpleGirl17 is offline New Member
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    Default BeautifulMind: Are we long-lost sisters?

    BeautifulMind, I am very sorry to hear about your life experiences, particularly as your story mirrors mine In many ways. I really appreciate your cataloguing this thread very helpfully as well. I am SO anxious to find the answer to this as I have felt like a mutant all my life with respect to the way my body metabolizes drugs.

    First, I am currently on Paxil...have been on Wellbutrin and Cymbalta in the past to no avail. Will be tremendously interested to know where you are with the Effexor at this point. (Dx Bipolar 2 and anxiety disorder)

    Second, I have never been tested for ADD/ADHD and no one would have ever suspected this. Clearly you are very intelligent, and you were SO young when you were put on these meds. I am wondering if the cause was behavioral or academic? Jesus knows I would SO willingly go on ADD or ADHD meds if it would reproduce this efficacy/focus.

    Third, I have tried marijuana on a couple of occasions but it does zero for me aside from make me sleepy and paranoid, and reading all of this makes me wonder what that means in terms of where we are all in this with m use.

    Finally, I have seen folks in this thread talk about benzos to calm the mind -> obv “on-label” for anxiety. I have a prescription for Ativan but with my metabolism the amount I need for any control escalates so incredibly rapidly and then I end up way overtaking the meds and while I can function perfectly fine - drive a car, cook, etc - it’s not anywhere near the same thing as the effect of hydrocodone, and also leaves me with giant black holes in my memory after I’ve devoured it, which scares me to death. In short, completely not worth it.

    I’ve driven home from being seen at the ER for migraine after an IV of dilaudid before (also morphine - NOT BRAGGING, just reporting a fact of which I’m not proud) - this is how my weird-ass system works. And, wait for it, the oxys also do nothing for me!!! WTH???

    Have taken gabapentin for chronic back pain and subsequent to laminectomy. It made me pass out on several occasions seemingly at random. Ultimately in *pain management* during back treatment, I had a grand mal seizure and was in the ICU for four days. Bit a hole through my tongue and almost through lip...the whole nine yards. Turned out the sodium and potassium were almost completely absent from my bloodstream. Have found out in recent years that my mother’s blood sodium is also persistently low. I have to eat salt all the time now (I have no idea if this was an issue before the pain management; back pain mercifully remedied through double-blind clinical trial).

    So there’s my chemical profile. I just subsist at this point in and out of kind of a bipolar logjam. Last prescribed hydro 2 1/2 years ago after ACL replacement and had two months of glorious productivity and focus. It does give me insomnia, but I take trazodone when needed (I hate to go from one drug to another - but again, shouldn’t these both be depressants??? WTH??). Never any withdrawal or cravings, just always sad that the work flying out the door will come to an end and that the highs and lows will be back.

    Any thoughts?

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