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I'm very scared.I'm at the end of my rope!mdone
  1. #1
    lulu12 is offline Junior Member
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    Default I'm very scared.I'm at the end of my rope!mdone

    I posted this in 2 places sorry for the double post I'm new here.:-)
    Hi, I'm an addict of 16 years. I've been addicted to pain pills for 10 of them. I have no idea what "straight" is?????
    I started methadone maintnance in Feb.2005, I feel I was not informed correctly.. Now, I'm a methadone SLAVE!!!!!!!!12$ a day 80mg later every freaking day....I have to obey the meth show up and drink it... It's brought me to my lowest. Lower than ever on drugs. I'm fed up with the whole scene!!!!! I dont want any dope, nothing..So I made sure to cut my tie with my clinic. It would be next to impossible for them to see me again, I took my 3 take home bottles dismorning and came home. The longest I've ever went without something was 4 days and IT WAS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I was warned no matter how bad this is going to feel I WILL NOT die from it. So I'm going cold turkey...I would love to medically detox but NO MONEY = NO INSURANCE, = on and on and on. So advice me please! Tell me what you've gone threw. Is there anything or anyone I can goto. I'm a wimp I have no threshold for pain, I do have the want to and the will to stop! I need to do this. NO CHOICE! So without sound completely pethetic Can somebody please tell me what to look forward too. I'm going to try to stay awake now for replies but should I not respond right away, I might have just passed out for a couple.
    PS>>I've written letters to every local media outlet to try to get the story of Methadone out to the average. for christ sake my sister is an RN in ICU and she's never heard of methadone withdraw. Ok night folks...
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-13-2008 at 02:47 PM.

  2. #2
    kyhomegirl is offline Member
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    Why could you not have asked the clinic that you are ready to come off? That probably wouldve been a better idea than cold turkey! I thought thats what they usually did; slowly wean you off? Wow I cant imagine being you right now; my thoughts are with you.

  3. #3
    lulu12 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks gal but I'm holding strong. Let me tell you why.. I did.. A zillion times. The always have a reason I'm not ready to come down. The reason, The longer it takes me to come off, the more $$$$$$$$ for them. now times me by a few thousand.. Now my friend you are making some serious loot..This is a privately owned Methadone clinic! No incentive to get you off... I know that 85$ a week dont sound like a lot but it's half my rent or all my truck payment.. I lost my job a few weeks ago so something had to give!! I'm ready anyway it's been forever I'm tierd of being a slave. I'm glad this board is here just so I can at least get it off my chest and not be judged....

    I'm sure as the days go on, my tone will change a million times..But thanks so much for listening.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-13-2008 at 02:47 PM.

  4. #4
    kyhomegirl is offline Member
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    I cant believe that! What jerks! Well now I'm glad I never went and got on it. I was seriously considering it. I do think $85 is a lot of money! Thats why I never actually did it. I wish there was something to help ease what your going through. I'm waiting to get some papers to fill out for suboxone which I hear is great; but also expensive. It seems to make more sense though than methadone. Anyways hang in there girl, things will get better!

  5. #5
    dstaley is offline Member
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    Thanks gal but I'm holding strong. Let me tell you why.. I did.. A zillion times. The always have a reason I'm not ready to come down. The reason, The longer it takes me to come off, the more $$$$$$$$ for them. now times me by a few thousand.. Now my friend you are making some serious loot..This is a privately owned Methadone clinic! No incentive to get you off... I know that 85$ a week dont sound like a lot but it's half my rent or all my truck payment.. I lost my job a few weeks ago so something had to give!! I'm ready anyway it's been forever I'm tierd of being a slave. I'm glad this board is here just so I can at least get it off my chest and not be judged....
    First and foremost my sweet miserable friend, I have never taken Methadone before. My present pain meds are primarily Duragesic and other pain killers so I can't talk from experience of what your going through. That being said ......

    I want you to know that you can reach out to us to nice lady, moan, shudder or anything that you need. That's what we're here for. My heart goes out to you, and my very Spirit to send healing Angels to give you strength. I saw a special the other night that describes exactly what your talking about when it comes to the clinic's making so much money from Methadone and it being more profitable keeping people on it and making big money off of people needing help. It's very sad, and something that our government should step in and take care of.

    But please feel free to look to us for support and a shoulder to cry on or to tell us of your daily victories. Your in our prayers and in our thoughts, and know that your not alone.

    A suggestion that you might think of, is instead of just stopping and suffering you might want to think of taking a week and just slowly lowering your doses on your own. As when your coming off of any drug, much like drinking, you have to expect that you may slip and go back at times. It's ok. When that happens just start your program of ridding your body of it again. It's ok. But I think you may have better luck by slowly lowering your dose. One day, take 3/4 of the bottle and save the rest. Next day ..... 1/2. And so on. But having come off of drinking myself (can't compare, I know) I can tell you that one of the surest way to fail is to set yourself up for failure by suddenly stopping. It's such a shock on your sweet body. Do it a little at a time.

    Once again I've never gone through what your going through but I *have* come off of dependent drugs before. My heart goes out to you, and I'll be watching for your crys for help. We will be here for you when you need us.

    Sweet blessings to you in your time of trials ......
    Dennis


    -----------------------------
    There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.
    -- James Truslow Adams
    -----------------------------
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-13-2008 at 02:51 PM.

  6. #6
    lulu12 is offline Junior Member
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    khomegirl,
    PLEEEEESE reconcider. I dont know to much about sub but It isnt any different than any habit. We are just taking one and replacing it with another! Please girl please I'm begging you! Listen, I'm going to attempt to record my most misrible times it's important to me that I WARM {PEOPLE" as to what is going on!!
    I'm a junkie!!!!!!!!!! A soccer mom lookin JUNKIE!! I want you to look at this link... I wrote and sent this to every media outlet I could think of!!

    http://www.pricelesseffects.com/meth.htm

    [u]LOOK at it!!!Look at the pic at the bottom of me! Wait until you see the images I will take over the next few days!!</u>

    Dennis,
    Thanks I'm so glad to hear that there are ppl here i can call on.. I'm going to need a support network and as it stands now I'm horrible with physical part of joining a group in person. Soon I will join. I have to quit like this.. I have a BIG reason to do it this way. If I can show this "after it's over" Sickness to one person and it keeps them from going it will be worth every second of my pain!! PLUS, if I ever think of going down this road again I'll have a video and written letter to look on.. IT WILL change my mind. Methadone is a ****ping way of life for me. It may work for some but for allot of people feel like I do!

    Thanks All yall
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-13-2008 at 02:48 PM.

  7. #7
    girlie girl is offline Member
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    I don't even know what to tell you, except cold turkey sucks. But if feel like thats the only way you can do it without falling back, then go for it. Phenegran might help if you get nausea. Your dr. should be able to call you in that. I hope all goes well. Best Wishes. [:X]

    Girlie Girl
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-13-2008 at 02:51 PM.

  8. #8
    dstaley is offline Member
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    Dennis,
    Thanks I'm so glad to hear that there are ppl here i can call on.. I'm going to need a support network and as it stands now I'm horrible with physical part of joining a group in person. Soon I will join. I have to quit like this.. I have a BIG reason to do it this way. If I can show this "after it's over" Sickness to one person and it keeps them from going it will be worth every second of my pain!! PLUS, if I ever think of going down this road again I'll have a video and written letter to look on.. IT WILL change my mind. Methadone is a ****ping way of life for me. It may work for some but for allot of people feel like I do!

    You are such a beautiful young Lady! I want you to expect an email from me and I'm going to give you our phone number, MSN, ICQ, AIM, etc contacts for both myself and my Lady friend who takes such wonderful care of me (it'll be from "dstaley@XXXXXXXX.XXX", so keep an eye out for it). You MUST feel free to call on us any time of the day, any day, and we'll help you as much as we can. Beyond that .....

    Please contact your doctor and let him/her know whats going on. There are many options you can be helped with. Understand, the human body can only take so much, and they need to monitor you very closely to make sure your body is taking the strain.

    We need her here with us way too much for something to happen to her. We all have a reason for being us ..... good or bad.

    Keep reaching out!

    Blessings and strength ....
    Dennis


    -----------------------------
    There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.
    -- James Truslow Adams
    -----------------------------
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-13-2008 at 02:52 PM.

  9. #9
    amberleeanne is offline New Member
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    hi there, iwas on 117 mlgs for 2 years, i had no life having to make it to the clinic everyday to swollow my dose just to go back home to fall asleep, i dont agree with the way they handle things, i had enough i couldnt take another day of it so i lied to them so i could get some takehomes for 2 days, and iwent cold turkey 4 days ago 2day, at 96 mlgs. now i have had withdrawls from it before just from double dosing and not haveing any the next day, or showing up at the clinic to find them closed, and it was a 3 day weekend,i went through the worst withdrawls ever, i got on it as soon as they opened, but these last 3-4 days havent been as bad as what i thought it to be, im still feeling a bit of withdrawls, cant sleep, cant eat, cant drink,sweats, cold, and hot, no energy,im told this is the worst of it and i will be feeling better today, but i still cant sleep, and i feel my back crawling a little.i hope to feel better soon, but i guess everyone is differnt. get some st johnswort all natural its a start, it will help with making endorphins. good luck, and try to get some zanax,it helps calm you .
    quote:Originally posted by kyhomegirl

    Why could you not have asked the clinic that you are ready to come off? That probably wouldve been a better idea than cold turkey! I thought thats what they usually did; slowly wean you off? Wow I cant imagine being you right now; my thoughts are with you.

  10. #10
    amberleeanne is offline New Member
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    First and foremost my sweet miserable friend, I have never taken Methadone before. My present pain meds are primarily Duragesic and other pain killers so I can't talk from experience of what your going through. That being said ......

    I want you to know that you can reach out to us to nice lady, moan, shudder or anything that you need. That's what we're here for. My heart goes out to you, and my very Spirit to send healing Angels to give you strength. I saw a special the other night that describes exactly what your talking about when it comes to the clinic's making so much money from Methadone and it being more profitable keeping people on it and making big money off of people needing help. It's very sad, and something that our government should step in and take care of.

    But please feel free to look to us for support and a shoulder to cry on or to tell us of your daily victories. Your in our prayers and in our thoughts, and know that your not alone.

    A suggestion that you might think of, is instead of just stopping and suffering you might want to think of taking a week and just slowly lowering your doses on your own. As when your coming off of any drug, much like drinking, you have to expect that you may slip and go back at times. It's ok. When that happens just start your program of ridding your body of it again. It's ok. But I think you may have better luck by slowly lowering your dose. One day, take 3/4 of the bottle and save the rest. Next day ..... 1/2. And so on. But having come off of drinking myself (can't compare, I know) I can tell you that one of the surest way to fail is to set yourself up for failure by suddenly stopping. It's such a shock on your sweet body. Do it a little at a time.

    Once again I've never gone through what your going through but I *have* come off of dependent drugs before. My heart goes out to you, and I'll be watching for your crys for help. We will be here for you when you need us.

    Sweet blessings to you in your time of trials ......
    Dennis


    -----------------------------
    There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.
    -- James Truslow Adams
    -----------------------------
    [/quote]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-13-2008 at 02:54 PM.

  11. #11
    dstaley is offline Member
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    ..... You haven't contacted anyone here or through any of the contacts numbers and such that I gave you for either me or my Mate. All of us would really appreciate an update to make sure your ok. If there is a problem, you know you can reach out and people will understand as there is others here that have gone through much the same or just think your worth helping.

    Here's hoping that all is well with you, and that your shining like the star that you are!

    Blessings, warmth and healing .....
    dstaley


    -----------------------------
    There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.
    -- James Truslow Adams
    -----------------------------
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-13-2008 at 02:54 PM.

  12. #12
    ElfQueen is offline New Member
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    quote:Originally posted by kyhomegirl

    Why could you not have asked the clinic that you are ready to come off? That probably wouldve been a better idea than cold turkey! I thought thats what they usually did; slowly wean you off? Wow I cant imagine being you right now; my thoughts are with you.
    I have been on Methadone for pain medication and have gone through withdraw. I did not completely withdraw from it, as I am in severe chronic pain and have to take meds for it, but by an error and carelessness while I was in the hospital my regual dose of 8omg twice a day was cut off for 4 days. By that time I was in severe withdraw. I was about to crawl out of my skin and had a near heart attack. I also went into a severe panic attack, and severe anxiety. I was unable to remain still for any period of time and was ready to screem with agony and the terrible feelings.
    Some years ago I was in a pain treatement program at John Hopkins, where they withdrew us from any drug cold turkey. Then I was taken off Percodan and sleep medication. I did not sleep again for 6 months, I would get up and do things, like write, watch TV and crafts, but was okay knowing that any time soon I would sleep again and I did eventually.

    As for the pain medication withdraw, and for others much worse things and combinations, although we got no help from anyone, there were nurses on staff. They just did nothing. We were responsible for each other. I can tell you that the things I saw people go through was terrible. Many laying in the hall in their vomit and feces, urin all over themselves. We who had passed this stage would help them up and into the showers. I was there for 7 weeks and from my recollection it had taken most people 3 weeks to get totaly clean with no more problems other then pain of depression and such, but physical symptoms took anywhere from 1 week to 4 weeks depending on what and how much they were on, and on the individual.
    Being in the hospital setting, even though we never received any help from the medical personel, this is in regards to withdraw problems, gave me a feeling of security. I do not know if I could ever do this all by myself. Too frightening, and too painful. I belief to do this alone is not a good idea. There are programs for withdrawing, such as pain treatement programs, which are paid by the insurances, I think. What you go through during withdraw is not someting you can do alone as you will not think rational, you will possibly hallucinate, hear and see things that are not there not happening. You could hurt yourself in that condition. The strain on the brain and the nervous system is too great to do this alone. I would say that you need someone who is responsible to be with you and that you make an agreement in writing before hand, even get it notorized, as to when you are to be taken to the ER, how long to let you suffer and what you both consider an emergency. I would also recommend to give that person power of attorney for this period to take you to the ER and request treatement for you. Be very specific about the conditions in you contract and again do this before you stop any medication.

    It may not be a bad idea to let your doctor know that you going to do this and that you would appreciate his/her help and support and in case of an emergency too. It may happen that you will end up in the mental floor of the hospital for a few days, but that would be better then dying I feel.

    I am aware that it has been some time since you wrote this, and I hope you are well and clean now. If you changed you mind consider the suggestions I made. If you made it through the tunnel and come out the other end you should be over the roughest part now I hope. This is a response to your question for help and may help some one else.

    Good luck and there is light on the other side.
    Live well

  13. #13
    Suzee is offline Junior Member
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    Oh boy...I have to speak up about methadone. First, I have nothing but understanding for the problem here. 100% understand where you are coming from. But I must say, knocking methadone and the clinic is comparable to that woman Moodstar posting the dangers of Duragesic patches for the people who use them daily to live a normal life.
    Ya, it sucks driving to the clinic, it sucks paying for the clinic...but what's the alternative??? My fear is that so much negativity and stigma surrounds methadone, that soon all the clinics will close and it will not be available as a treatment. When used PROPERLY,methadone can turn a screwed up drug addict into a productive member of the world again. No matter what the cost, and it can be far far more than $12, it's worth it, and cheaper than the street drugs, scripts,OLP's, etc, that many people did before methadone maintenance. And if you WANT to stop using opiates, and follow a detox program to THE LETTER, you can transition to a drug free life without so much as a headache. When done correctly!..anybody see the program Methadonia on HBO? It was such a pitiful portrayal of >>>>>> addicts in new York--they didn't show any sucess stories--- they didn't show anyone who has made the clinic work for them and go on to lead a life without opiates, and I found it discouraging and sad..treatment for addiction is not nearly as readily available as it once was;when all the clinics close--THEN WHAT? I don't know anything about Suboxone,but I'm sure there's some negatives there as well...WHY are people in such a hurry to detox?Is it the instant gratification mentality? I want to be clean and sober and I want it now!! I'm not directing this at anyone in particular--but it's a common statement made by many..Why not reach a low dose of methadone, and take that down even lower until you're ending with even 1-2mg, and then off for good? It's PAINLESS!!!! And isn't that the goal? Because having pain and w/d symptoms are a sure recipe for relapse?
    Again, I do understand where you're coming from.But I know of what I speak, and I would beg that clinic to take me back and finish it up the right way. Please let me know if you have any thoughts on this, OK? Thanks, peace.

  14. #14
    Suzee is offline Junior Member
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    I want to add again, that I understand where you're coming from. I hope my post doesn't come across as critical of you--that isn't my intent at all. I'm with you-(I could use an ear as well)so please feel free to speak your mind, no matter what it is! I'm probably in the minority on the pluses of methadone, but it CAN be a lifesaver. Instead of the clinic using you, try YOU using THEM to get what you need(painless detox)!I'll be thinking about you! Peace.

  15. #15
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    I'm a 25 year addict with the last 3 years on methadone.I don't think I would be alive without it.It's the only pain killer that works and takes care of my addiction at the same time.....Dave

  16. #16
    Guerlain is offline New Member
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    I have heard of Methadone but still don't really know what it is or what it's used for. Could someone please explain this to me?

    Thanks.

  17. #17
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    Methadone is a synthetic opiate that acts on the same receptors in your brain as morphine and >>>>>> do.The differance being that methadone stays on the receptor from 24-36 hours were the others last 2-4 hrs.Also the "high" associated with morphine like opiates isn't there allowing the patient to have a clear mind while not having any cravings or withdrawls.Once stable the patient can then set forth and start to put their life back together.One drawback to methadone is it is addictive and a proper medical detox is needed when treatment ends.Methadone is better suited for the heavy drug user such as >>>>>> injectors or morphine,oxy,diludid ect with years of abuse.For people that don't fit this criteria (I'm not sure that's the proper word to use but...) then buprenorphene is having amazing results.It's a pills you take sub-lingually every couple of days and allows the patient the same lifestyle as methadone's.When the patient is ready they can do a medical detox with little or no problems.......Hope that answers your question.....Dave

  18. #18
    stressandanxiaty is offline New Member
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    Anxiety can be quite scary and in some cases
    medication is a good solution, but
    I find the ease with which doctors write prescriptions rather
    disturbing. Anxiety is a very common
    mental health issue, and one that can be worked through. Sometimes it's
    best to figure things out
    for yourself. I personally used a program at SelfTherapy.org which I
    though was terrific - it
    literally ended my anxiety and panic attacks within days. Perhaps your
    solution lies elsewhere.
    But I urge you to not be too quick to pop pills that will numb your
    desire to find a real
    solution. I wish you the best!

  19. #19
    MyMindsTaken is offline New Member
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    i take methadone, i also snort it. i would be in so much pain if i ddint take it, yet i do know that i do abuse it. i know that when i stop it will be hell, i already have sever depression.

  20. #20
    MyMindsTaken is offline New Member
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    does any of you know if it is possible to smoke pain killers? if so how

  21. #21
    Jessika is offline Member
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    I really cant say much about this topic, or be much of help I really dont know what metadone is, I just know it treats pain ect...
    But in most cases with people I know and people I have spoke with one here the metadone as been a good thing. right? What I am not understanding is why are you sending this to the media and wanting dr. phil and oprah to do a story on this, I know you have had some rough years, I just dont see why thats all??

    Isnt metadone used to make you come off addiction if it is used right? Why Not try rehab? Like I said I just dont get it.

    Jessi

  22. #22
    zippysgoddess is offline Platinum Member
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    Well Jess, while Methadone can be used to treat addiction, most people who use it, end up addicted to the methadone and never, ever getting off of it entirely. While it is touted as being so helpful for addicts, the treatment centers usually do not reveal all the facts, and one very important one would be that around 90% of people who are treated with Methadone, end up addicted to it and needing a lifetime maintenance dose.

    It is actually a very rare person who can totally beat all their addictions and be clean of everything when they complete a methadone program. That is why most docs now prefer Suboxone programs.



    My information is not guaranteed correct. I do not get them right all the time, but I do enjoy the hunt~

  23. #23
    BROOKE99INFINITI is offline New Member
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    Hi, my name is Brooke, I a 24 year old female from Alabama. I have been on methadone for around 4 years. I first went to MMT about 4 yrs ago. for help with my addiction to Lortab, I had been taking Lortab since I was 17 yrs. old. I had been through a lot of surgeries and had gotten addicted to the drug. I had tried several times to come off of Lortab and couldn't. At the time it seemed MMT was the answer. I went for 2 years and got up to 80 mg a day then I came off of it a little at a time till I was down to 4 mg a day. I couldn't get any farther than that and eventually stopped going to MMT. I am now back up to 20 mg a day and I get it from a local Dr.,the reason I want off of it is because it is doing lots of damage to my health. I am tired all the time and i haven't had a period since i've been on methadone, I've gained a lot of weight when I started MMT i was 110 lbs. and all my life had been little but now I weigh 160 lbs. I just have lost my life to this drug. A week ago I tried coming off of methadone cold turkey, the first three days after taking my last dose weren't that bad. I had headaches, leg cramps and aches, and just felt bad, it was harsh but bearable. The fourth day I felt somewhat better, I got up out of the bed a little and I thought i was getting better. However, the fifth day was awful and unbearable. I had been able to sleep every night up until the fifth night and I couldn't sleep it was like my brain wouldn't shut off. My whole body ached and i had goose bumps continually, my skin hurt so bad I coudln't stand myself. I ended up taking the 20 mg again just to get out of the hellish state I was in. You must understand I was really determined to get off methadone and still failed. I am going to wait for my body to get over the strain it has been through and try again. Do you have any suggestions on how to make this an easier process? I must also mention I take 20 mg a day of Prozac. I have the strong support of my family, I live with my grandparents. Even with all the family support this is the most difficult thing I have ever done. Please if you could just offer any help at all, I would greatly appreciate it. Also i don't want to even try Suboxone, I look at it as trading one addiction for another.. And while I agree that methadone can be helpful to some people, it has not been to me.

  24. #24
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi Brooke: Your an exellent canadate for buprenorphene (subutex,suboxone).Go to www.suboxone.com and there you will find a dr. locator.Get a list of the drs. in your area and start phoning for an appointment.Good luck.....Dave

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