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new here and really need some help with addiction
  1. #61
    mikie7911 is offline Member
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    hey lost,

    well, it's friday, right???? so that is good, have some things planned tomorrow with the kids so am looking forward to that. husband has been out of town for two nights so anxious to see how he is when he gets home today. he sounded clean over the phone and hopefully he comes home w/ a new attitude. i'm like you though, always cautious and never letting my guard down. what a way to live huh???

    how bout you, glad it's friday???? what you have for the weekend???

  2. #62
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    Mikie,

    I am soooooooooooooo glad it's Friday. I am going to take my little on shopping for a Halloween costume and decorate the house. His name is Bobby so we were thinking Bob the Builder. Should be super cute! He was superman last year, he was only 2 months then. I am optimistic for now and not having such a bad day.

    I hope your hubby does come home with a new attitude, that would be great~ I will keep my fingers crossed for you .

    Other than the decorating, shopping and the every weekend routine, that's all I have. I need some down time. Have a good one!

  3. #63
    mikie7911 is offline Member
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    well, it's definitely time for us to have a good, stress free weekend isn't it??? ya'll have fun and i'll do the same and i'll ck on you monday.

  4. #64
    mikie7911 is offline Member
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    lost

    how was your weekend??? mine was pretty good.

    how are things???

    update on things here:

    lost and Robert!

    the biggest complaint that my husband has been having is lack of sleep without the pills.....he hasn't taken any in 4 weeks......takes ambien, plus melantonin, plus that valerian root......he lays in bed tossing and turning, soaks in the tub, etc, and usually falls asleep about 2 in the am. then gets up at 5 or 6 to go to work.....last night he woke me up at midnight and said where is that bottle??? so.....he opened it and took a pill....went to sleep and slept all night. i really wouldn't have a problem with him doing that just at night for sleep, but....can he do just that without starting the whole process over again????

    suggestions please, do i just wait and see and hope for the best or what???

  5. #65
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikie7911 View Post
    lost

    how was your weekend??? mine was pretty good.

    how are things???

    update on things here:

    lost and Robert!

    the biggest complaint that my husband has been having is lack of sleep without the pills.....he hasn't taken any in 4 weeks......takes ambien, plus melantonin, plus that valerian root......he lays in bed tossing and turning, soaks in the tub, etc, and usually falls asleep about 2 in the am. then gets up at 5 or 6 to go to work.....last night he woke me up at midnight and said where is that bottle??? so.....he opened it and took a pill....went to sleep and slept all night. i really wouldn't have a problem with him doing that just at night for sleep, but....can he do just that without starting the whole process over again????

    suggestions please, do i just wait and see and hope for the best or what???

    What pill did he take??? What drug was it? He doesn't need to be taking ANY opiates for sleep. They are not sleeping pills. It's just for the w/ds and that is prolonging it. Is he exercising, taking walks? Exercise is the best medicine for detox. Understand that addicts are willing to jeopardize their recovery with a pill but won't step up and take a walk or exercise doing something that is good for them. You should read posts from musicman. He is swimming every day since getting clean and says he is sleeping every night.


    You know that I abused opiates and other drugs for a very long time .. over 35 years. I realize that considering all that I did to myself I'm lucky to expect to ever sleep. I mean that. I know that I've done damage to my CNS. I don't think it's as bad for most people as it is for me but I have at least one night a week that I don't sleep at all. Don't even go to bed. Then I will have at least one more where I sleep only 1-2 hours. I have been clean for several years less one period of a few months following oral surgery and RX pain meds. Other than that I haven't used. So for me the sleep problems have yet to go away. I wouldn't expect similar results unless circumstances are the same. But sleep is usually the last thing to return to "normal" when we get clean. It's not uncommon for it to take 2-3 months or longer. God bless.

  6. #66
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    It took a few weeks for my husband to get a good night sleep, actually I think it was over a month. The doctor told him to take benadryl before bed. He also rode his bike and walked, it hurt like hell at first but when he was done he felt a million times better than he did when he was just laying around the house. Maybe he can try some hot tea or something before bed to relax him or read a book to tire the mind since he's up anyway. Just suggestions.

    Our weekend was amazing He woke up Saturday with the baby, put him in his little cart that trails the bike and they rode for about an hour. He took him to Mickey D's for breakfast and then they went swimming (I got to sleep in for the first time in about a year). I finally rolled my lazy butt out of bed, we had lunch and he went grocery shopping. I was just spoiled rotten this weekend and loving it. We hung some of our pictures around the house so it feels more like home and we got to go through our sons baby pictures.

    Glad you had a good weekend. How are things on the homefront? What pill did he take?

  7. #67
    mikie7911 is offline Member
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    he took his hydrocodone 10 mg, i've told him over and over that it takes time but i know nothing and he says that he proved to himself that he can do without taking them in the daytime for pain but is thinking he needs them at night to go to sleep. is it in his head that it helped him sleep???

  8. #68
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    I've never personally taken them so I can't say, Robert mentioned above that no, they don't help you sleep, and if I understood him correctly that the restlessness is from going through the withdraws.

  9. #69
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikie7911 View Post
    he took his hydrocodone 10 mg, i've told him over and over that it takes time but i know nothing and he says that he proved to himself that he can do without taking them in the daytime for pain but is thinking he needs them at night to go to sleep. is it in his head that it helped him sleep???



    I'm not saying it won't help him sleep. What I am saying is hydros are not sleeping pills. They are helping him because he is going thru w/d and all this is doing is extending the w/d period. He needs to do something other than get high as we have suggested ... like trying exercise or something constructive. This is not getting him clean. If he is going to use the opiates to sleep that is fine I suppose. I personally think it's a crock and an excuse to take the hydros. He is living in a dream world. Not ever going to get clean like this I promise. God bless.

  10. #70
    fungirl is offline New Member
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    I just read the last respone to u and withdraws r the worst thing to go through and night is the worst time.They r right that if he is tring to stop using then he doesnt need to take them just to sleep. N any detox program the do give u something to sleep because not sleeping makes u have no energy and for most of us addicts thats why we use. I am proad that he has cut back thats hard. I mean come on do u really think he can exercise going throw withdraws ,its hard to get out of bed and function everyday life much less exersice., C thats what pepole dont understand there r to sides to a pain pill addiction which is the metal side( which if that was the only one then yes exercise would b great) and there is the physical part with is the part that takes days to get over and the one us addicts have a hard time making it throw. U have headaches throwing up extreme weekness runny nose the runs ur knees hurt ur body hurts its like have the flu 10 times fold. So dont expect him to run a mile and praise him for doing better and encourge him he can do it. Cutting back does make withdraws easier...

  11. #71
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by fungirl View Post
    I just read the last respone to u and withdraws r the worst thing to go through and night is the worst time.They r right that if he is tring to stop using then he doesnt need to take them just to sleep. N any detox program the do give u something to sleep because not sleeping makes u have no energy and for most of us addicts thats why we use. I am proad that he has cut back thats hard. I mean come on do u really think he can exercise going throw withdraws ,its hard to get out of bed and function everyday life much less exersice., C thats what pepole dont understand there r to sides to a pain pill addiction which is the metal side( which if that was the only one then yes exercise would b great) and there is the physical part with is the part that takes days to get over and the one us addicts have a hard time making it throw. U have headaches throwing up extreme weekness runny nose the runs ur knees hurt ur body hurts its like have the flu 10 times fold. So dont expect him to run a mile and praise him for doing better and encourge him he can do it. Cutting back does make withdraws easier...


    No one ever said to run a mile. But for your information I have done opiates since 1968. I think I understand both the mental and physical parts of addiction just fine. I have detoxed from tons of oxy, RX opiates, benzos and nearly every drug on the street. Not bragging, just a fact. Was probably taking drugs long before you were born.

    I suggested he exercise, that includes even walking around the block. Walk around the block once a day and tell me you don't feel better. An addict can do that, but they would rather eat a pill for sleep than walk around the block. And in the quality rehabs out there every single one has an exercise program for addicts in detox. Everyone who understands addiction at all recommends exercise. God bless.

  12. #72
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    Beat me to it

  13. #73
    addictednomore is offline New Member
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    Hi Mikey

    Hope I can help, I too have bulging discs and chronic pain. I became a hydrocodone addict for four years. When I couldnt take it anymore I found a self help program called myselfrecovery.com This guy helped me when I couldnt help myself. What your husbarnd has to do is to taper down and do some important self introspection. There are serveral techniques for pain and some interesting books to read. I have turned my life around because of this program, now I camp, hike, bike, do things I couldnt do before. In addition, I live life everyday in the present moment (something I learned). Try the website, it cant hurt.

    Best of Luck

  14. #74
    fungirl is offline New Member
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    Noone is saying not to do that but do u remember how people like u ex addicts dont remeber that instead of saying ur doing better just keep up the good work say thats a crock of**** and get up and exersice.The point is this person that is concerned bout he husband and does not understand addiction.Everyones addiction is different and I thought this was some place for support(thats why I am here)This person needs to know that its a long hard road to recovery and just as u and I we will always b addicts. I mean for god sack he is taking a freaken hydo at nite.Wish that was the least of my worrys when i had a habit.As far as using r u saying one addict nows more than another.Well maybe but all I am saying is the man is taking 1 dro at niteand it might take time but I say GOOD JOB AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. THERE IS NO ROOM 4 PEOPLE TO SAY THATS A CROCK HE IS FINDING A REASON TO USE. I think if he went from 4 a day to 1 then good 4 him and it might b his way top fight and deal with HIS addiction. LIKE I SAID ITS A HYDO NOT OC OR HERION LAY OFF THE MAN. We deal with addiction like we deal with death N OUR OWN WAY.This is the reason why I have a hard time finding support grops because of people that use to use but r the almighty GREAT X ADDICT and n all reality ur still an addict AND SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT SUPPORT IS WHAT WE NEED NOT someone telling how full of ******************** we r...

  15. #75
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Default fungirl

    You are obviously correct and have the right answers. No way I will argue with you. We should tell all people who are starting into recovery to taper until it becomes uncomfortable and then go ahead and take your drug of choice for sleep because fungirl says it's ok since you've had a hard time. That is fine. Good luck and God bless.

  16. #76
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    Fungirl,

    No disrepect intended however, Robert has dedicated his life to helping others and his opinion and recommendations are just as valid as yours. Lets regroup and remember we are here to help ourselves and others. We come here to share our experiences and get support. Everyone is different.

    Had you read the entire thread you would have known that this man has been completely off the pills for weeks now so to take 1 pill because he is a little uncomfortable is nonsense, again, that's my opinion but this was not a taper situation.

    Please feel free to offer your opinion in a respectable manner, and post your experience if you'd like some support. I come here to help myself and support others and it's a bummer when you come somewhere for support and there is tension in the air.

  17. #77
    mikie7911 is offline Member
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    wow, i missed some action huh???

    fungirl, i do appreciate your thoughts, but my husband has been going through cycles of lots of pills, run out of pills, w/d, etc for 3 years now. i gave him an ultimatum the last time he got some "extra" pills from somewhere that weren't his and he had been 4 weeks w/ no pills. he is an addictive type person in everything he does and nothing is going to change that. he is an all or none type as well so him being off the pills for 4 weeks and going back on them, not for pain, but for sleep, just threw me for a loop. i do know that addiction is an illness and i could be a little more understanding but.....he is an adult and he does have a choice to take as prescribed or to totally overdo it. he has constantly made the choice to overdo it and he doesn't totally understand what i have been going thru for the past 3 years keeping the peace around my house. it's hard to explain to your kids when daddy made a promise to do whatever he had plenty of pills...now that the time has come to do whatever he promised them, he's running low and down because of that, or what's even better.....to try to tell them that he is out because he took too many and it will not be better for another two weeks when he gets a new bottle in and to try to explain the w/d to them......and this cycle has gone over and over for a long time. robert has been a tremendous support to me since i've been posting and don't know what i'd have done w/o that. this board is my therapy.

    been there.....thanks for your suggestion and i will definitely look into that site.....i know that he does have pain and i do feel bad for that, but....he can't control the pills. being without them for 4 weeks, he does complain of pain, but....he complained of pain when he was taking hydo everyday so.....i really think that the majority of his pain now is from degenerative disc disease and well, that is arthritis and i have told him to ask the dr. for something like an arthritis med that is not a narcotic....he supposedly called today, we'll see.....

    robert.....last night was the second night that he took the hydro "to sleep" and guess what.....he didn't sleep. so today after i read your post i did have a little chat w/ him and let him know that i felt like that was an excuse to take a pill and that since it didn't work, he did not need to do it again. i also told him to get out of his chair and do something outside every evening and so today when he came home from work, he took my advise and is mowing....so, we'll see what happens next in my life's drama w/ pills. i am also going to reitterate tonight that i'm not going thru anymore of these cycles of pills, no pills, too many pills, etc.

    lost.....i'm so glad that you had a great weekend and that you are spoiled all week long!!!

  18. #78
    fungirl is offline New Member
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    Yes I understand that and I did read all the treads and almost did not return to the site.It really bothered me when it was applyed that one has done more and longer than others. I feel that this is not a compation on who has done more that is something we should not b proud of.I have read many things that robert has wrote and think he is a very smart man that has been through alot.I just feel this mans pain. do we no that he is not really hurting? When I had to return to meds due to being n a really bad wreak and now that is the only way I can walk up steps get n the bat etc. everyone told me I was full of it even with a team of drs telling them this would b the only way for me to live a normal life. I had not taked an oc in 7 years and even after many surgeys i refused to take the meds. but I could not do any rehab nothing.Now I am really strick on myself to take meds like I am suppose to.The key to me now is not to abuse them and we all now thats is a challange.I am so sorry if i cam across rude just guess it hit a part n my heart that damn this man has been doing so good and messed up and noone understands. PLEASE EXCEPT MY APOLOGY ROBERT AND ALL THAT THOUGHT I WAS DONING ANYTHING MORE THAN EXPRESSING MY CONCERNS

  19. #79
    fungirl is offline New Member
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    I do so understand what its like to not b able to b normal because I had overdone my pills.I guess I think that not making a stink on how bad he is doing and tell him that he is doing better would make him not feel like a falure. Seems to me he should b over most if not all of the withdraws by now.I am sure its mostly n his head but thats takes 4 ever to go away or maybe he really is hurting and something less strong would take the pain away. hang n there

  20. #80
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by fungirl View Post
    I do so understand what its like to not b able to b normal because I had overdone my pills.I guess I think that not making a stink on how bad he is doing and tell him that he is doing better would make him not feel like a falure. Seems to me he should b over most if not all of the withdraws by now.I am sure its mostly n his head but thats takes 4 ever to go away or maybe he really is hurting and something less strong would take the pain away. hang n there


    You just don't get it that everyone else's recovery can't be done the way you are doing yours. NOt everyone needs to stay on pills forever. If you do that is fine. But that isn't this guys case. He is blowing smoke. I did the same thing in the beginning, making excuses for using and manipulating people. So he DOES NOT need to be taking pain pills when trying to detox. That is the bottom line. And apology accepted. God bless.

  21. #81
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    Mikie,

    Rock on sister, stick to your guns, he's definitely going about this all wrong. Keep us posted.

  22. #82
    mikie7911 is offline Member
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    well, i talked to him about all this again yesterday and told him that since it did not help him sleep the second night, he didn't need to take it for that. he said he had been thinking about that too and didn't take any last night, didn't take a nap during the day, did mow, (which of course made him hurt) but didn't take any hydro for it, just took aleve, still took a while to go to sleep again last night but i told him that for as long as he has been on the pills, it may take him a while before he gets over that part and starting the pills again isn't the answer, i've told him to make another appt to see the chiro who does alot of massage tx and he still hasn't done that. last night we got into it again about this whole thing and he said that normally after he would mow and would be hurting he would take a couple of pills, but didn't and did say that he is not going back on them mainly just to keep me quiet....i told him he is an adult and he has made the choice to overdo pills in the past and that he didn't need to stop them for me but for himself but i was tired of living my life around the pills. so of course he gets mad about that and says i don't understand but...he is an addictive person and one is never enough, if he could have taken as prescribed for pain that would have been one thing but he just can't do that. i have a friend who has a rare brain condition and lives in constant pain everyday of her life and she has been on narcotics for pain for years and always has plently left over because she has never taken them except as prescribed. of course she is not an addictive person, he is. he also throws this up to me.....that i'm not being very supportive of him trying to quit. well, i have been there over an over again and maybe i'm not the most compasionate person lately but it's because it has happened over and over again. i have lost alot of my compassion and i do know that i need to work on being more sympathetic while he is detoxing but it's just hard. he expects me to just baby him and all i guess and well, i used to do that but after so many times, the sympathy just goes away.

    so, we'll see how we do today i guess.

  23. #83
    sisterwin2 is offline Senior Member
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    Fungirl.....

    Let me try to shed some light on why is so important to excerise...

    when we ingest a opiate it clings to the Mu receptors..... if we take more then our body has adjusted too ( and every addict will) we create more receptors. If we do not take enough opiates then our bodies cry out for more to fill them. Once we ingest the opiate we no longer are able to produce any natural endorphins... this can take a very long time to heal..

    So the excerise will help jump start the bodies ability to hopefully produce them.

    Does this make sense to you?

    Sister

  24. #84
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    Mikie,

    I sympathize with you. It's not that you are being a hard a$$ or unsupportive, looks to me like you are doing everything you can to support him. He is the one looking for an excuse to continue using. I hate the manipulation that goes along with addiction. It really eats me alive! Don't let him make you feel like you are unsupportive or less compassionate. He is an adult and you have helped him through many dark times, and stood by his side. Until he is serious about his recovery and gets those pills out of the house he is probably going to keep finding a reason or excuse to take one. He has gone 4 weeks with nothing but aleve. As you said you have a friend that has a medical condition that causes her pain, but she doesn't abuse her meds.

    Hang in there Mikie, stand your ground, don't allow him to walk all over you. You are a strong person, demand respect from him. I know you love him and want what's best for him, right now, he needs to reflect on himself and realize how selfish he is being and that he is pushing the ones closest to him away, not because of anyone elses actions and decisions but his own. He needs to own his addiction and want to change it. Detox is definitely a step in the right direction.

    Try to relax a little see what his next move is going to be, we didn't cause it, we can't control it, and we can't cure it. Take it easy.

  25. #85
    mikie7911 is offline Member
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    thanks so much, i need to write that down the three c's and remember that when he starts fussing w/ me.

  26. #86
    actifiedGuy is offline New Member
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    Default DranK whole actified bottle.

    Yes.. i was so stressed , and i drank a whole bottle of actified.. last night.. i was drunk i guess , and this morning.. im feeling so tired , dizzy, cold sweating, and one of my testicals is paining...

    is this serious ?
    can i take some other medicine to make me feel better...

  27. #87
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by actifiedGuy View Post
    Yes.. i was so stressed , and i drank a whole bottle of actified.. last night.. i was drunk i guess , and this morning.. im feeling so tired , dizzy, cold sweating, and one of my testicals is paining...

    is this serious ?
    can i take some other medicine to make me feel better...


    Not a smart thing to do at all. Being stressed or drunk is not a good excuse to take an entire bottle of anything but I realize you are probably aware of that now that you have sobered up.

    NO WAY I would take anything else to counteract what you have done. Either ride it out or go to the dr with your other symptoms. Pain in the testicle??? That is not from the actifed. Sure someone didn't kick you while you were drunk? Thought that maybe if you drank an entire bottle of actifed that maybe you just forgot. Just teasing you. I don't see any relation to these symptoms and the actifed. Doesn't mean you shouldn't have them checked out. Good luck and God bless.

  28. #88
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    Mikie,

    Just checking in to see how you are doing.

    Lost

  29. #89
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Default mikie

    You seemed to be doing pretty well, but you stopped posting rather abruptly. Haven't heard anything from you since 10/9 on this or any other thread. Just checking to make sure you are doing okay. How are things going for you? Let us know.

  30. #90
    mikie7911 is offline Member
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    robert and lost,

    ya'll are so kind to ck on me. here's what has been going on and please let me know your thoughts! he had just opened up his bottle the last time i posted and was only going to take a pill at night, well, then he started taking one in the am and one at night, which he pretty well has stuck to, but....there are days that he is back to taking 3 or 4 a day. i know to some that may not seem so bad, but, i've been through this before and that is how it always gets started. now, he is down to 48 pills out of that bottle of 120, ordered another bottle, and so the cycle begins. i had tried very hard to have the don't give a S...T attitude and not to be obsessive about counting pills, but i just can't get over my obsessiveness, (lost i know you understand where i'm coming from). last night i blew up and told him i would not go through this again, he said, well, when you see i'm taking too many, just let me know so i can slow down.....WHY do i have to be the pill police, doesn't he know when he opens that bottle that HE is the only one that can control it! most days he is pretty much himself, but when he takes too many, it just really p...es me off! what do i do????????? if it weren't for my kids at home, i know what i'd do but.......i'm affraid of what that would do to them. my youngest is in grammar school and i know that would just kill him, he doesn't know about the pills nor do i feel like i can explain that in a way that wouldn't warp his little brain.

    please advise!

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