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Want off Suboxone
  1. #271
    Anonymous Guest

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    I think we posted at the same time. the reason we don't want you to start subs is...if you think this is hard subs sometimes can be even harder....if you can make it with out them you would be much better off..
    talk soon, Melinda

  2. #272
    Anonymous Guest

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    I had made another post to you but the page changed so I just wanted to make sure you went to the page before so you see it

  3. #273
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy PS can't think of anything else now every day more not less

    Thanks Melinda

    Do not work, on disability. I am totally alone and only think about the pills. Was up to 60 mg. Did medical detox which really hurt me. I have liver disease and had horrid stomach cramps. I do walk every morning about two miles with dog, for the dog.

    Then just lie down all alone all day thinking about nothing but withdrawals and when I can take more. Started at only 3 mg. Then after 2 days went up to 5. Really scared because now I am increasing not decreasing.

    have valium, clonipin, bentyl, clonidine, Vesteral and Restoril. Car in shop and then can just do nothing.

    Why not suboxone? Been on and off mainly ON opiates for forty years. Also on clonipin and restoril. Valium really helps but wake at 3 am in full withdrawal. As stated, I can't think of anything else. I thought the suboxone would at least give me a chance to maybe get out of house. Most is mental. Second and as important is stomach cramps. That is why the bentyl. What is L-Tyrosine??

    Maybe if had support or friends here, could do it. I feel like going to increase as I have done for past two weeks a few mg at a time. The tylenol is killing my already diseased liver.

    Thanks so much. Also have jacuzzi, but don't go. I don't do anything but writhe around other than the two hour relief from the opiate. Take 10 mg valium mid afternoon and feel good, then 30 mg Restoril and clonipin and manage some sleep. I wake every two hours until can't take it anymore and then take 5 mg. Not eating, getting very depressed and very isolated.

    It is very very hot here but only for one more week. Please tell me why Suboxone or Subutex is not a good thing.

    God Bless you and thanks so much. I do have vitamins, but everything wrecks my stomach. TRUTH I know I will start taking MORE not less. Wish had someone around to help. Thank God for you. Waiting your reply re suboxone? When did suboxen before, I was able to function and eat. AND not think only of how I feel and count minutes until can't take any longer and reach for the hydro.

    Before the medical detox was 50 mg day. Scared that by next week will be up there. Doc wanted to give something without tylenol but get migraines and allergic to methadone. Don't think can wean or stand the withdrawal. Thanks and God Bless... waiting your reply... cancelled suboxone appt. MUST do something so can think of something else and maybe get out of house.

    Want to move because have no one here but can't when all my head is full of hydrocodone or opiate. Thought suboxone would help. Again thanks, waiting your reply. God bless, PSsalgal

    Must be honest. I know I will just say to H**L with it and increase. DARN thought sub was good idea. BTW, valium, clonipin give me migraines. Using Imitrex. Can't sit still. Do get sides from subs but I cannot just lie here thinking only of more hydro. You are a blessing. x0x0x0
    Last edited by Anonymous; 09-16-2010 at 03:30 PM. Reason: forgot something

  4. #274
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Default doc said

    not to worry, he will wean me. ??????? from sub

  5. #275
    Anonymous Guest

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    Hi PS
    It will be your choice I did not realize you had been on them for so long.
    I was just thinking you wanted to go the fastest way off of opiates...
    If you have a choice I would get subutex ...we can help you ween off of them to.
    you can get a lot of support here and make some good friends that know what you are going thru and no one here will judge you...
    just let us know what you need and we will do everything we can to help.
    others will join in soon..you will have more people to talk to than you know what to do with
    so are you going to call back and get your sub appt back ???

  6. #276
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PSsalgal View Post
    not to worry, he will wean me. ??????? from sub



    If you make the decision to go on subs please do it like the link that follows says. This is how I've worked with people here for years and did this post based on my own personal experience when I did subutex myself a long time ago which is the route I would go should you use subs.

    I BEG you that if you go on subs let ME iNDUCT YOU MYSELF RIGHT HERE. That will insure you get off on the lowest effective dose which is so important to not creating another addiction.

    Read the link and let me know if you want my help. God bless.

    https://www.drugs.com/forum/featured...apy-50887.html
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  7. #277
    newyorkgal is offline Platinum Member
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    PSS, I'm alot like you. I'm also 61 years old and have an opiate history of over 40 years. The reason it's suggested that tapering off your DOC is better than sub is because sub is a very strong opiate and can be very addictive. However, I understand the feeling of not being able to stop and always increasing. My suggestion to you is, if you feel you can't taper or c/t the pills, get subutex (preferable to suboxone) and follow the tapering plan. The main thing is you don't want to start too high on subs and more importantly, you don't want to stay on sub too long. It's a powerful narcotic and hard to get off if not weaned the right way. Good luck.

  8. #278
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Red face Gosh I am confused!!!! and scared

    Thanks so much. The one doc close to me does not use subutex. A doc an hour away won't make me come in withdrawal and last time he gave me 8mg tablets and told me to wait for withdrawal and then take 1/4 and wait. I think that would be enough.

    Today I took 15mg hydro. Then I took a clonipin and slept and don't feel the craving.

    I am so confused. Robert, if I do decide to do the suboxen, I will take you up on your offer to taper me. If I remember correctly, last time after only a few days or one week, I felt so weird, had headache and so swollen that I quit and went back to hydro.

    Since I don't have my car and was supposed to get it, I am going to try to find subutex and/or just decide to keep weaning. When withdrawals hit me later, I will take a valium.

    I would never take more than 4 mg maybe 8 but it makes me so sick. I'm really confused and so anxious over all of this. AND my life. I don't know how I ended up so alone and sick. But that is the way it is. Every time I say I am going to go out or go to a meeting, I just don't go. So I put myself in this horrid box of aloneNESS.

    The only form of support here is na or aa meetings and I so hate them. AND I have become too depressed as I said I do not leave the house. Why don't the docs use the subutex? That is so weird. The one here close by only uses soboxene. How can I find a doc who uses subutex. I tried on the internet but same docs come up and I have spoken to only three of them. The one who will let me come NOT in withdrawal is hundreds of dollars less but two hours away. That is what they used at the detox for only three days. But as I said that experience was awful.

    I am feeling more and more that I should NOT take the sub anything.

    I'm afraid without support and without family, I will fail. I can't fail for I have to get out of this town and even if I went back to full doses, I would not be able to find a doc anywhere and it would be awful.

    Also, I am not well and don't know how I am ever going to move and I have been here ten years and have no one. I need to do a lot of medical tests and I don't even do that. Even before I decided to get off the hydro, I felt awful and anxious all day just sitting in this house. The temp here is 120 for two months and THANK GOD it is starting to cool off.

    So, God Bless you all and I am seriously considering NOT trying any sub anything.

    I can't do anything until next week. If I am down to 15mg now, can someone tell me what my next step should be? I have been at 15mg for four days. I know I did this to myself and isolated myself and I don't know why I can't make myself get the H out of this house.

    I'm gonna really need you guys. Sure wish someone was near to me. I don't want to move to a senior place, but at least I would eat. Then again, when I get my life back, I will start shopping. I just hate it in this town so much and can't imagine doing another summer. But, being alone and thinking of moving is awful. I wish I could make myself get out!

    Kinda glad I did not have my car. So consensus is to just keep weaning. Then I get upset and anxious and guess what I think of. ??? LOL

    Some others posted and I will see if I can navigate back and answer everyone.
    NEW YORK gal..... how long were you on opiates and how long were you on sub? Was it suboxone or subutex.

    Does everyone agree that NOT doing subs is the best? So far can't find subutex.

    Keep talking to me, you have no idea how this helps. I am on pacific time so don't know where any of you are. Thank you so much God Bless you all. x0x0x0x0x
    Sally---- As of now I have no appointment and tomorrow I have to be ok to get car and get some food. Do you guys think I should make myself go to meetings. Heck it has been ten years that I am all alone. There is more and I will post later. Right now getting upset and that is not good.

    How long should it take me from here and should I go down to one or one and a quarter? ARGH

    Thanks and God Bless you all. Sorry if I am rambling!!!!! Please keep talking to me. Thanks again everybody! I will check back in an hour or so.

  9. #279
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Default Thanks Cheeky

    Wow that is a long time. How long were you on the opiates and how much? How is the withdrawal going?

    I don't have a clue what I am going to do. Surely pray somehow I find some people around but until I get out of here......... You are doing great. I just don't know what to do. Thanks and God Bless! salgal

  10. #280
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Default cheeky.... thanks so much

    you wrote.....
    if you take your subs properly, and taper slowly, there are no withdrawls.

    i am currently on .25mg of sub. i have taken 5 months to taper down from 12mg to this dose.
    it is possible, i just dont think you should rush into it and go fast. that way you will have time to adjust for each dose drop. i took way longer than the 4 days on each dose, but im stubborn, (and maybe silly) but for me it worked.
    so far so good.

    good luck
    cheeky[/QUOTE]


    Thanks. I did pretty well today and have time to stay asleep after I walk my dog. Today I took 5 mg at 4 am and then got all anxious and sad and took 10 which was wowowowowowow got headache but when it started to wear off, took clonipin and fell asleep. It is starting to come back and I will wait and take a valium and my restoril and hopefully get more sleep. I wake in such distress but now seriously considering NOT doing the sub. Thanks for caring. PSsalgal

  11. #281
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Default NewYork Gal

    you wrote....]PSS, I'm alot like you. I'm also 61 years old and have an opiate history of over 40 years. The reason it's suggested that tapering off your DOC is better than sub is because sub is a very strong opiate and can be very addictive. ay. Good luck.[/QUOTE]


    Thanks so much. I think I am going to do my best NOT to do the subs... Then when stronger, I am going to do my best to find somewhere to move where I can meet people or where some people I have met online. With hep c seems we all isolate. I'm weak, and not too well and can't imagine moving. I would have to give a lot away and if did not find mobile or house, no one will take my dog who is very old and I can't just kill him. I guess you are across the country in NY... still see funny and smart, just having a real rough time. Thanks so much. For now I am just going to wean and then I need the strength to just jump off and throw them all away. Thank you so much. love, ps

  12. #282
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Default Thanks everybody....don't think I am going to do sub

    I am all shakey again and took a valium. Sorry to write so much. Tomorrow have to be able to drive and get car and go shopping so will do 15mg again and then sat go down to 10mg. Is that too much? I am on west coast so you all are probably sleeping. I don't know what I would do without you guys. Thanks to you all and God Bless, PSsalgal

  13. #283
    newyorkgal is offline Platinum Member
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    Dear Sally, I think your problems are greater than just the drugs. It sounds like you almost have agoraphobia if you never leave the house. It's no good to isolate and be alone, especially when trying to do something like this. AA/NA would be so good for you, because you would meet people in a similar situation. You don't have to speak, just be there and chances are good people will introduce themselves to you. You can't sit alone in a house thinking and worrying and kicking at the same time. I know.

    As I've said, I'm 61 and have been doing opiates since I'm 16. Started with >>>>>>, graduated to a methadone program for many years. I switched to sub 2 years ago and I'm one of the small group who either can't get off or choose to use it as a maintenance drug. I wanted to tell you that first of all, in the intererst of being fully honest, but also to show you that for some of us, it's not that simple. I can't deal with the w/d.

    Only you can decide what's best for you, Sally but I will say this and I don't mean it in a bad way, it's just the truth. You can't stay cooped up, never leaving the house, always alone and deal with kicking a habit at the same time. Please try to get out there and go to a meeting. Or try to get the subutex and try to taper. You will bypass most if not all of the w/d symptoms you'd feel from the hydro.
    Wishing you the best!!
    Bev

    You mentioned that when you took sub you swelled up and got bad headaches. That's often a result of the suboxone and why we said subutex is better. Suboxone has an extra ingredient, nalaxone, which is put there specifically so that drug shooters can't shoot it. Alot of doctors are afraid to use subutex because they're afraid of people misusing it in that way. But you would be better off getting the subutex, if you do go that route, since you've previously had the side effects some others here have gotten from the nalaxone.

  14. #284
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy Thanks New York Gal and to everyone!!!Sorry LONG and rambly....

    Thanks so much. If I were able I would use methadone. Thanks for being honest. After I really considered the sub, I remember how I felt and decided not to do it. After my mom died in 2001, I started oxycontin for one year. I had money and did a 12g rapid detox and never did it again. Would NOT touch one. I was clean for over six years until I fell and really hurt myself.

    Then started on hydro after trying everything else and with hepc, the tylenol is bad for me.

    As for being cooped up. I am working on it. I do go out. I go out every morning for one hour with dog. Then it gets too hot to be outside. I have never made friends here. I may be agoraphobic. shrink says I am bi polar but I disagree. Before I started taking care of mom until she passed in 2001, I was really social with lots of friends. After kidnapping her from a home and coming to the desert, I was just with her until she passed. Then the oxy, then the de tox.... then alone.

    I know I should be going to meetings. I get my car back today. Please keep telling me to go to meetings. I did go to two here and people were getting high and I just can't handle alcoholics and truly do not like the 12 step program.

    I have a lot of online friends. Most isolate due to disease hepc which seems to make a lot of people isolate because others look on it so negatively. I am not really sick from disease but use it as excuse.

    You are so right, though I have to get out. One of my friends writes me every day.... gone to meeting yet? I dread that so much. I was going to a messianic congregation, but I just don't fit in and don't well excuses and then when I would get home be so glad to be just home.

    While detoxing.. the worst is yet to come. Today is last day on 15 mg. I get my car and will go shopping and get stuff for the runs.

    I am also addicted forty years to benzos. Dad put me on valium at age ten. I think weaning from the clonipin and restoril will be a long but not difficult process. I don't have a problem with taking them but when I move they will be hard to get and I have not gone to sleep without something since my teens. I don't really care about taking something or needing something for sleep. I do get very anxious and cannot take any anti d's. Have tried them all. I was a pot user for most of my life. I let my legal card lapse because I really hate it. It is bad for disease and then I really don't go out.

    It will be getting cool and beautiful here and I have to force myself I MUST force myself to get out. I even bought a bike and have never been on it. There are pools here, jacuzzis......

    I am talking to friends in northern California in two places and considering moving there. One really good friend isn't really so sick and will come help me move. I have been through so much with this house and am upside down, did get modification but I am going to walk away. When I am not craving the drug, I will be able to help in the move. I have to downsize, donate and can't handle selling things but need to get out of here. I do hate the town and the hot hot summers.

    I don't think I can make myself do more while kicking the opiates. The benzos are different and can wean slowly with help of my shrink.

    I sit here and think I must go out. BUT I don't. I used to play piano and read and I don't even do that any longer.

    I cannot find a doc who will use subutex and am not going to use the suboxone. Maybe I am kidding myself when I say I don't really crave, but as you said I cannot handle withdrawals.

    I did a ten day medical detox where they took me off of everything including the benzos without weaning. My shrink said that was horrible. I had seizures and stomach cramps so bad. I stayed clean other than benzos for two weeks but the pain in stomach led me to ER when all started again.

    How does someone or ME make myself go out? I know JUST DO IT. I do go out as I said every morning for long walk. I try to do one other thing every day like store or get something to eat.

    Do you or anyone know how to wean from where I am at? I was thinking 5 mg for four or five days at a time. That will take me weeks. OR should I just bite the bullet, throw them away and try and sleep through it. I have to be honest even with people, I am going to have a really hard time with the withdrawals. That is why I thought of the sub. There is NOT one doc here who uses subutex. I thought I could wean to nothing on the hydro and take the sub for only a couple of weeks. That really is about all my body can handle. If I could use methadone, I would. In my teens that was all there was and I went to detox from >>>>>> and I got horrid rashes and blisters so basically cold kicked. I never used again. That was forty years ago.

    I know I sound stupid and stubborn but I hate it here so much that I really hate to go out. I am going to move before next summer, but do not know where. I could move to an independent living situation where they make meals for I get so depressed I do not eat. AND when I do, I eat very poorly. I cannot imagine living in a studio from a three bedroom house.

    Last night neighbor came to see how I was doing and brought me dinner which will last through today.

    Does anyone know if no matter when I wean down enough, will I still go through heavy withdrawal or does the weaning kind of stop it?

    I cannot drive when I am in kick mode. That is why my car is in the shop.

    I don't feel fear in going out and when I am out I am very social and talk to everyone. I know there are meetings on line but that is not the same. There are many NA meetings here and I hope and pray I will go.

    Should I go while in withdrawal>? I simply cannot afford another accident and I have gone to meetings in the past. Seems like I have a lot of excuses, but hate the smoking and the stories and the clapping ....... MAN I really do hate those meetings and I do not work the steps.

    Reading this over sounds like such BS and just more excuses to lock myself away.

    My goal right now is to get off the opiates and hope the wd isn't bad since I am going to wean to 2.5 mg before I stop. Am I just making it harder? Would it be better to just stop and try and sleep through it. I will throw the pills out and I have already told doc so she won't write any script....... I'm scared and really hope I can do this.

    There are so many activities here and I have never done any. There are many social activities as this is a resort town. I have gone to a few, but just feel way out of place and so different from everyone and am glad to get back home. Please tell me the truth.... am I just b.s ing?

    I do believe that when off the opiates and get out of this town to where I know people, things will be different. Am I fooling myself. Please be honest.

    I thank you all in advance. Maybe I do need you guys to just keep pushing me out of house.

    I woke at 4 am and took 5 mg... feeling ok now ... With all of this support I will make it. I just don't know what I am in for and if I should keep weaning or just after I get my car, toss them and deal with the withdrawals. Then again I am like you and can't handle them. Thankfully have things to counter act them and I think I can. Am I fooling myself in thinking that only after I can go to a meeting? At meetings I feel it only makes me anxious and want to use. But you are right, I have to get out of house. Even though I am planning to move in a few months.

    ??????? Thanks and God Bless, Sally, feeling like an idiot and afraid. I won't write so long of posts but had a lot to say. I really need you guys... thanks

  15. #285
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Question Sorry won't post long need advice

    found meetings all over area. I WILL DO THIS

    Could someone please tell me opinion of how long to stay on dose and how much to cut and when to stop. Again sorry for other rambly post. Please don't abandon me. S

  16. #286
    Anonymous Guest

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    Hi Sally
    If I were you I would just do the opiate detox first..dont try to do to much at one time !!! It will have to be your choice on how you want to quit..I tapered down to two 5mg vics a day and then quit and the w/d were not to bad I had about 4 days were I did not feel to good and I think dropping 5mg every four days is a good taper.

    I understand how you are feeling with your anxiety..I was agoraphobic myself at one point in my life...but just worked my way thru it..one step at a time...
    that is the way I get thru things...one at a time ...
    things will work out for you, just don't give up on yourself ...
    let us know what you decide to do..
    talk to you soon, Melinda

  17. #287
    newyorkgal is offline Platinum Member
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    Sally, I truly feel for you as I identify with so much of what you said. I don't stay in the house. I have a sister who lives 1/4 mile away, kids, grandkids, a dog tot walk, a part time job finally.. BUT, therre are and have been so many times when I wish I could have just stayed locked in, not answering the phone, just sitting on the computer or watching TV. I often have to really push myself to get out the door. Next, I also have or had Hep C... I was very lucky. The doctor said I had the "good" strain (whatever that means). I only had t otake Interferon and pills for 6 months while other strains require a full year. 6 years later and I test negative for it so the doc says I cleared it. Have you been to a doctor after the initial diagnosis? Have you taken the interferon? It doesn't work for all but it does work for some. You ask if I think your b'sing... No no no... Not bs'ing but making excuses because it's easier to do that than to take a stand and do something hard. I understand that which is why I'm on subutex 2 years later.

    Sally, you need people in your life and if that's impossible you at least need to post here and get more support. This is why I suggested NA... I am not an avid supporter of NA nor am I against it. I just don't know that much about it but for someone like you, it's a way to get our and meet people. Who knows? This time you might start working the steps and it might help your life immensely. At least you'll be around people. Another thing - If your doctor says you're bipolar, please don't just rule it out... He could be right and medication for that would help you alot. This I don't know because I don't know you personally. Do you stay awake for long periods of time in a hyper state? Do you sink into the depths of depression? I ask this because my bro-in-law is bi-polar and I've seen both sides and I've also seen him in remission for years and years as a result of taking meds.

    There is a poster named Ruth. She comes on sporadically. She is the expert on NA. She works in the field after being an addict. I hope she sees this thread and can guide you into NA and how to work it. I am not an expert on that.

    I think if you're going to taper your drug, you should do it slowly. If you do it too fast you are setting yourself up for failure, especially in your isolation. You can also try the sub. I might be an expert on taking them, but not an expert on tapering off unfortunately Perhaps if you follow Robert's taper plan and never get up to too high a dose, you won't suffer the side effects you did last time. The beauty of the sub is that you won't feel any withdrawal from the hydro and if you follow the taper and don't stay on very long at all, you should be fine at the end.

    I know this was long but your post really got to me. I feel your depression and anxiety and wish I could do more. Isolation is a killer but just keep posting. People that post regularly are not so isolated as there will always be someone to support you whichever way you go.

  18. #288
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Thumbs up New York Gal and Melinda and all

    Wow... I cannot take any anti d medication nor methadone. No don't go up and down. Do get down and don't sleep well. I tried every anti d and have severe allergies. That is why they always put me back on benzos.

    Thanks so much all of you.

    I cannot find a doc who will use subutex. I am going to try to do this by weaning. Tomorrow will cut to 10mg. I will try to do that today but have to return rental car, get my car and get shopping.

    If I could find subutex, I would probably give it a shot. Any ideas? OR, wean down to 5 mg and then off and if can't handle, only use as small a dose as possible of sub. When used it before 4mg was too much. Thought this time no matter what doc said I would only take enough to take major wd away. What do you guys think?

    By weaning slowly, how slow do you mean Melinda? AND I am not worried about the benzos until this is done. Thanks for your kindness and support.

    I can do this. As I said I found many meetings all around and I don't think I can handle it while in withdrawal. Am going to take weekend to drop again and just try and sleep. I don't think I can go out to meetings feeling withdrawal. I don't drive well during those times and I cannot have another wreck.

    Melinda, thanks for your advice. I just want to stop but know if wd is bad, I will NOT.

    I was out all morning with dog. Have friends on walk but don't see them other times. One woman just lost her dog and drove to see me this am crying and gave me her email and said she also isolates and she ... well, we will see.

    NY... I have the bad strain and genotype 1b non responder and would not do interferon if they paid me. I am so happy for you.

    The bi polar meds made me NUTS and zombie. Also had such bad reactions doc said there are none I can take. I feel better without and don't have extremes. AND am only depressed because I got addicted again and am so so so lonely.

    I am going to use the weekend to get lower and I WilL PUSH myself to go to a meeting as soon as I can drive. I do need people. I could just go up to the pool and cuzzi. Now that it is only about 100 and will be getting cooler, I can go out.

    My lab tests are not bad and I think all the stomach pain is from cramping due to withdrawal. If I can't do 5mg, I will do 2.5 in am and 5 and 5. BUT this weekend am going down to 5mg twice a day no matter what. I hope! LOL.....

    God bless you all and thanks so much. You have no idea how you guys are helping me. IF you know of a way to find doc who will use subutex or how to get it, I may want to do that. Again thanks.... will check back later. xoxoxoxoxo

    Melinda I will take your advice and by next week or weekend will be on two 5 mg. AND then the next weekend will stop. I will have to throw away everything or I will fail. Thank you.....How long did you take the two 5mg vics? Were you feeling wd during that time? I am feeling slight on 15 mg.

    Well another long one, sorry... You guys are really helping. Big hugs, Sally

  19. #289
    Anonymous Guest

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    HI Sally
    I would stay on a dose for about 4 or 5 days,.. I was on a lot of pain meds and soma's and klonopin when I started my quest to be free from pills..It took me a long time to get off every thing I was on..I found this forum when I was down to 2 5mg vics a day and I got the support here that I needed to stop ...
    I did feel some w/d but I could live with it..
    I needed to get off all of the drugs I was on...
    talk to you soon, Melinda

  20. #290
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Default Melinda re feeling withdrawal

    Thanks so much. I am following your advice. Were you feeling withdrawal on the 2 vics a day? I am feeling a bit on 3 and tomorrow plan to go down to 2 as you did.

    Did you use anything during that time like klonipin?

    It seems to be dragging on and I am in constant semi but not bad withdrawal. Just wanted to know if it was like that for you?

    What or how much were you taking at the largest amount? And for how long?

    Just want to know what to expect..... Thanks so much.

    I would cut today but am waiting to get car and have to drive rental and return it and get to store. Thank you soooooooooo much, you have no idea. Love, Sally

  21. #291
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    Hi sally
    UGH I was taking about 20 pills at a time..I would take a couple 40 mg oxycontin at a time but I would crush them so I would get all the drug at one time they are a time release drug and them I would top them off with a couple ten mg vic or percs ...what ever I had.. one 40mg oxycontin = 8 5mg percs ..If I could do it now, I would have done it another way, but I didn't know any better at the time...I tried to quit every thing at the same time at first ...that didn't work very well so I quit the soma and the klonopin and the oxycontin and did a taper with vics....dont do what I did ...LOL I was so sick ...but when I did get leveled out I just started dropping 5 mg at a time or what ever I could handle....
    I was at it for about a year, but I was such a mess...

    so when I got to where you are at I was just achy all over with no energy..
    so I started working out ..I started on the treadmill at about two minutes a day and worked my way up...i know your doing that already walking your dog !!!
    my doctor did give me ambien to help me sleep...but if I did it over I would have stopped my klonopin last...
    ...we will help you thru it..with all of the people on here and all the experience we have...youll do just fine
    talk soon, Melinda

  22. #292
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Default (((((Melinda)))))

    Wow I was there a few years ago. Did 12g rapid detox for oxycontin.... then got on after five years the hydrocodone. Or percs or whatever. Was on 50-60 mg a day for about five years this run. OK so I'm doing great. I can't believe you did this on your own. I could do so much better if I were not alone. I am going to move by next summer. Tomorrow down to 10 mg..... You just quit klonipin cold??????? That is very dangerous. I have been on it for years and years and years. I have been on benzos for over forty years. I don't think I would ever sleep again. I'm not too worried about that. I did wean from years of valium. and was clean from benzos for years, but then depression and psych meds and anxiety and losing everything.... back on benzos which I will NOT worry about. I found meetings. I am going to try to make myself go just to get out. Yet it is still over 100 degrees here night and day. Today had to stay on 15mg for I have stuff to do. I am going to sleep the weekend away for first days of 10 mg. How does that sound? YOU are one heck of a strong woman!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, I will be in touch tomorrow. Today only took the hydro.... can't sleep waiting for auto shop to call and not looking forward to returning rental and getting car, but I must and then get stuff for the runs..... but maybe since I am tapering, it won't be so bad. Thanks Love, Sally ps i always crushed my oxys too and snorted them.... wowowowowow....... now you take nothing??????? Yet you only did it for a year. For me it is most of my life and I have had it.... can never get enough so gotta be done with it. GOTTA ..... I will be counting on you guys for support!!!!! Big huts and love, Sally.... and that is forty six years. I am 61 now and with liver disease just have to stop!!!!!!! x0x0x0x0x0x0
    Last edited by Anonymous; 09-17-2010 at 03:21 PM. Reason: forgot something

  23. #293
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    Hi Sally
    I was addicted for about three years..the first year I was thinking wow this is great I can work night and day ..with my fibro and feel great.. the second year I was finding out about being dependent on them and my tolerance was growing the third year was just getting off of them....I was so dumb when I quit my benzos I didn't sleep for a couple months and had a solid two to three month long panic attack that was the worst...that is when I went to the doctor and told her what was going on and she was trying to help me...that is when I got the ambien... she told me to take the klonopin, but by that time I was not going to start it all over again.

    I know how you feel about the heat, I moved to Texas from Seattle and the heat is killing me it is only in the 90 here but it is still to hot for me..I will be a good winter person here...

    I think your taper plan sounds great !!!
    did you say you lived in California ??? and where do you want to move to, do you have family some where ?
    talk to you soon, Melinda

  24. #294
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Talking Thanks Melinda

    I love Texas. Hook em Horns. Family from Houston from Russia.... I was born in CA went to college at UT @ Austin.... was hippy and only on stuff like pot and acid. Before that I had one >>>>>> run.... but had an abusive boyfriend who always took more. LOL... then did detox in Camarillo where they used only methadone and I really broke out and couldn't breath so HE hit me and told me not to say anything just give it to him. Wowowowo but they gave me IM Valium and I wasn't that strung out and never touched it again. That was 40 yrs ago.

    You are probably way younger. I also have fibro from the hepc. You are blessed to have a partner. I am blessed to have you. If I could find a place in Texas...... I really love Texas. Spent summers there working in medicine at St Luke's and Childrens in surgery .. access to everything. If you are under my age you don't know Dr Denton Cooley or Michael DeBakey. That is who I worked for. Then got strung out and came home jaundiced. What a life. Also can't take Ambien or Lunesta or Lyrica ... same reactions, swollen tongue, blisters and can't breath.... always get put back on benzos.... What do you think of NA or the 12 step doo dah?????

    Injuries and being an addict is not a good combo. Found many meetings here ... waiting for car. It will be rushed and I will probably come home in panic. I know they are rushing. Anyway darlin.... today was good no wd. Tomorrow down I can't decide if to 10 or 12.5. I really can't handle wd. But can sleep through two days after I walk dog and still so so so hot. Anyway, God I appreciate you. Wish you were in California. God Bless you...... Ya'll have a good night.

    If I do meetings, it will only be to get out and maybe make some friends or something. I just can't get behind the 12 step thing. You are such a blessing. Thanks so much. Love and hugs, Sally in the HOT HOT HOT so cal desert... but in two weeks it will be gorgeous still shorts weather and not humid until end JUNE and by then hopefully I will be OUTTA here. Gonna give house back to bank. Gotta do this first, though. love you and more, Sally

    Are you off of everything now? When I feel wd, not only do I walk dog in am I have treadmill in house and walk and walk.... that really helps but not as much as YOU!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 09-17-2010 at 04:52 PM. Reason: forgot something

  25. #295
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    Hi sally
    before I got the Dr names out of my mouth Robert my husband finished there names so he knows who they are, you not that much older than me I am 50
    where did the time go...
    I went to one Na meeting..and then I went to celebrate recovery... for some people AA NA saved there life.
    I enjoyed the meeting but it was just not for me..but I think they are good for people to go and find out for them selves if they like them...
    I think you need something to replace your addiction with...I don't know if you know it, but I meet Robert on here..he was the one that was helping me when I was trying to quit my drugs...

    how are you doing with your hep c ..there is another girl on this forum with that I bet she will be on here soon.. I think she has been a little busy lately..
    I don't want to scare you but my brother died from that.. but he did not take care of himself and did a lot of bad drugs..it has been about 10 years ago...

    I don't take anything now I cant or I would just be addicted again I know that about myself...I was clean for a year and had to have a hysterectomy and they mest up on it so I had to take pain pills for a couple months and it grabbed a hold on me real quick...so I know if I ever have to have surgery I need to tell the doctor to help.

    I'm glad you got rid of that old boyfriend,,beat up on a girl ...
    so I hope your out getting your car and i will talk to you soon,
    Melinda

  26. #296
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Wink HI Melinda and all..... going for walk..... thank you

    Hi Melinda, gosh you are such a lifesaver


    Today I am cutting to 10 mg, waited from waking at 3 am until now to take 5 mg. I am going to do my best to only take another 5. I will take a klonipin, and this antihistamine I got from doc, like 10 benedryl to make it through until the afternoon. I will sleep for a couple of hours so that is a help. I don't know how long it will take me to be ok with 10 mg, but I am doing it.

    I feel same as you re NA and AA. Yes I need something else and am desperately looking for somewhere to move. This is a tourist town and really have not met anyone at all I can relate to.

    My hepc isn't that bad. Labs are high normal and slowly raising but I have had it since I was 16. I am sorry for your loss. I don't even see a liver doc anymore for there is nothing they can do. I just watch my labs. I have lost a lot of people as I ran many support groups.

    I am going to try to push myself to at least try the meetings. It is finally cooling off and I am going to go now and walk my OLD 13 yr old dog for about an hour. Then I have to get more D skunk for YUCK.

    Wow you met Robert here. So there is hope for me. Sometimes I feel God or whatever does not have a mate in store for me. I would be very happy with a good friend nearby. I do talk to what neighbors are left due to foreclosures, but this town is the three G's, geezers, golfers, and gays. NOT that I have anything >> gays, but I don't fit in to socialize. LOL. It has been so long since been on date.

    Now that it is cooler, I will get out more. I hope. I did talk to NA person but I have been and I really don't like them, but who knows maybe I can find a Robert or a Melinda to befriend.

    I So off to walk and then to Petsmart and Vons before the hydro wears off and then to couch. I got my car and returned rental. I have food for weekend and think by two days on 5 mg two times a day will be ok by Monday.

    I am upside down in my house and am going to walk away as soon as I am strong enough. I have a friend in Ventura and she is getting settled but much more ill than I though only 50. She has hep worse and now cryglob as side. We both have fibro but we are good friends. She will be here to visit next month. BUT she has two daughters up there and friends so does not want to move here. Don't blame her. This is not a town for a single woman over age 60 unless one goes to senior centers which I again do not feel I fit in. I don't think I am making excuses. Then again........

    The time went to our addiction and MAN you are blessed. OK so send me a Robert.... LOL LOL LOL..... OK feeling better the 5 is kicking in a bit and anxiety is less. I WILL DO THIS. I WILL push myself to get out soon. I used to play piano and read and exercise a lot. After my walk, when the wd comes again, I will get on treadmill and walk and walk.

    WHY can't I push myself out? I feel like there is nowhere to go and no one to go with. How long do you think I will have to be on 10 mg, like 2 vics.....???

    Then I start the wean from benzos though I really don't care if I take them. I really have always had insomnia and my dear dad had me sterilized at age 19 when I got a vd and he thought it would calm me down. He was quite a dad. He also put me on valium at age 10. I forgave him and cared for him until he died and then cared for my mom until she died in 2001 and have been all alone since then.

    So, one more question..... I cannot find a subutex source... they all use suboxone and if I feel like I am going to fail, I may want to do that. I have many pills and am working with shrink and doc to wean. They don't really get it and I can't do it quickly or I willl relapse and the tylenol will kill my liver.

    So, you give me hope. Maybe there is someone out there who can see through this soon to be gone negativity. This is my last chance and I am going to do it alone or not. Even though I am using benzos, I am keeping a journal and taking less than I took before. I only take something if I am crawling out of my skin.

    Also, I am funny and smart and if I do say so myself pretty good looking and fit. I was a runner, swimmer and sailor. LOL now I can't even get myself up to the pool. I am pretty picky on who I spend my time with. OK OUTTA here, sorry for long post.

    Thank you sooooooooooooo much. I guess I will make a sandwich sign saying available and walk around.. LOL LOL..... ok talk to you later. YOU are really helping. Maybe if I do go to a meeting or meetings, I, too will meet some friends, but I am not ready for I will not drive while in withdrawals. xoxoxoxoxoxo, Sally

    finally cool here..... YIPPEE!!!!!!! Robert, if you know of a subutex source, please let me know. BUT I think I can do it like this.

    M.... you are a survivor and so am I. I forgot how long were you on the 2 vics....? I know you quit all after that and I think I will have to go down to 1 a half at a time but when? Thanks for you. PLEASE keep em coming. LOVE and blessings, Sally

    Is it ok to exchange emails? I don't know if that is ok or not..... don't give up on me. again sorry for the loss of your brother. It is a horrid disease.

  27. #297
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Question Should I start new thread? really having hard time!!!!

    Going down 5 mg is just not good. But gotta do it. Sure wish I could find subutex, I can't fail. But feel I should start new thread for help in the hydro weaning.... What do you think>? Thanks, Sally

  28. #298
    Anonymous Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by PSsalgal View Post
    Going down 5 mg is just not good. But gotta do it. Sure wish I could find subutex, I can't fail. But feel I should start new thread for help in the hydro weaning.... What do you think>? Thanks, Sally
    HI Sally
    you can start a new thread or stay on this one it is up to you ...
    you can go on the other threads and ask the other people how they like subutex .
    everyone is really nice around here and I'm sure they would love to share there experiences with you..
    I know it is hard to do...try to see if you can sleep thru it...

    I was thinking about the NA meetings and they might be nice for you to go to just so you can make some friends or celebrate recovery if you go to church.
    I went back to church when I quit my drugs and I think that helped me a lot.
    but you should jump around on the threads on the forum ask the others what they think about subs or just to make some friends on here...
    talk soon, Melinda

  29. #299
    PSsalgal is offline Junior Member
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    Talking Thanks Melinda

    I agree and I will look around. I was going to go back to church but felt so awful. But made it and now going to try to sleep until tomorrow. I have tried NOT to take any benzos or the antihistamines until the night. This am as every winter, these snowbirds behind me come for the winter and their dog starts barking at 3 am...... man I blew it. After one hour screamed shut that dog up. It happens every year. How can people be like that? My dog barks once and he is inside. OK nite nite, thanks so much. Tomorrow will look around. You have been and are such a blessing. Sally

  30. #300
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    People that let there dogs bark all night really make me mad ...if you have some use ear plugs...hope you sleep good tonight..
    talk to you in the morning..
    Melinda

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