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24 hours/withdrawal
  1. #1
    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    Default 24 hours/withdrawal

    I'm so lost trying to navigate around this site! please bare with me and hopefully i'll catch on sooner rather than later. I made an appointment to see a doctor to get on suboxone. I'm super nervous!!! Nervous as to what the 24 hours will be like as i wait to start the subs. I'm not even sure when the last time was that i went 24 hours without an opiate of some sort in my system. Also, what can i expect my first day on subs???? Any help would be appreciated. Anyone, please.
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    Maggie1976 is offline Member
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    Hi,
    i don't have any experience with Subs, I am clean from oxy since 04/15. Just wanted to say hi and wish you the best, you are making the best choice to be free and it is worth any thing you have to go through to get there. Stay strong and focused and you can and will get through it.

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    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimmy7 View Post
    I'm so lost trying to navigate around this site! please bare with me and hopefully i'll catch on sooner rather than later. I made an appointment to see a doctor to get on suboxone. I'm super nervous!!! Nervous as to what the 24 hours will be like as i wait to start the subs. I'm not even sure when the last time was that i went 24 hours without an opiate of some sort in my system. Also, what can i expect my first day on subs???? Any help would be appreciated. Anyone, please.

    Hi Shimmy and Welcome!

    I wrote you this nice long post on another thread you started but it wouldn't let me post. Please choose one thread that you've already started and keep all of your updates and questions in one place and allow the other threads to disappear. it gets mighty confusing quickly for you to find the responses that you'll get and for us to find you and get all of your updates.

    Don't be nervous. Absolutely you are going to have to allow yourself to go into moderate to severe withdrawal before you take the first dose of sub. Don't rely upon hours but be sure to use the COWS. I saw the post that Randy wrote to you and I think he provided the link so that you can print and use it. Having said that, you can expect some time having to endure detox symptoms but the good news is that once they start, they usually rapidly increase getting you to the 26 score that you will need. Once you do score 26, you are going to take 1/2mg and wait an hour. If you are still sick, take another 1/4mg and wait another hour. Repeat this process until you are stable (mostly symptom free). I know that this is a slow process but you'll begin to feel better even after the first dose and will feel better and better with each subsequent dose. Just don't skip any of these steps because it's the only way to get you on the lowest effective dose. Most people stabilize at 4mg or less, many on less.

    Give us a head's up when you have your doctor's appointment including the day and time and I'll try to be around to help. What to expect? Probably less than a day of having to tolerate symptoms. Not so bad to do it right and begin to put this entire thing behind you. I can't emphasize enough how important it is for you to induct properly. it will set the bar for your entire taper. it's not difficult to do so long as you're prepared to be patient. You won't be sorry.

    Peace,

    Cat
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    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey Cat! Thanks so much for getting back to me! When i spoke to the dr on the phone, she stressed that i have to come into her office SICK. She said she's going to examine me, and like i said, i think she's referring to the COWS worksheet that you mentioned. I am familiar with it. I've looked at it many time and will def have it on hand!! From what she said, she'll give me the does there. At least that's the impression she left me with. I'm going to check in with her in two days. i'm writing down questions for her....for instance, do i need someone with me to drive me home? will i be able to drive? i have no idea but she didn't mention that to me. I figure 24 hours is worth the sacrifice b/c i'm so tired of living like this. Exhausted. I just want to be who i was before i started down this road. I can't even imagine getting up and not grabbing my pills. That in itself is so worth it. I mentioned my younger brother being an addict in an earlier post. My older brother is a recovering alcoholic/addict with over 20 years of sobriety. He used AA and mentors others. I have even read parts of the Big Book ( i don't know if you know it). i'm ready. and i'm excited.

    @Maggie1976: Thank you for your kind words. I look forward to being the one to cheer someone else on.

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    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    You're going to do fine promise. I know the exact place you're in. I know the racing thoughts and the what "ifs" I don't want to give bad advice at all because everyone is different. I know that I was terrified to be without opiates for that long. What I did, and this is my disclaimer DO NOT TAKE MY ADVICE BECAUSE YOUR RESULTS MAY VARY. Anyways lol I stopped cold turkey around 3 in the afternoon and took an incredibly small dose of Xanax to get to sleep around 8 or 9. I woke up feeling that usual feeling that I'm sure you know all too well. That feeling that you need something or you won't be able to get out of bed. I dosed out a small amount of sub and headed off to work. I didn't have any precipitated withdrawals and no harsh symptoms. Again everyone is different I'm just sharing that info to try and ease your nerves.

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    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey JG. How are you doing?
    I do have suboxone that my brother gave me but i'm afraid of taking it before my appointment. i usually feel some type of withdrawal within 12 hours....mostly RLS and they sink! ugh. it's the worst. I'm planning on taking some X to help me sleep as i plan to take my last does of Oxy at around 2pm Monday. I will for sure be hurting by 2pm on Tuesday. In the past, i have taken tramadol to help with any pain i had until i could take more Oxy and it always helped tremendously. I am prescribed Tramadol but never really liked it b/c it did nothing for a high and that's what i was looking for. i know i sound ridiculously whiny but i'm scared of those 24 hours. I keep telling myself it's a small price to pay for peace of mind. I know people have it much harder than me and have me it through....much respect to those that go the CT route. i just don't have it in me.
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    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimmy7 View Post
    Hey JG. How are you doing?
    I do have suboxone that my brother gave me but i'm afraid of taking it before my appointment. i usually feel some type of withdrawal within 12 hours....mostly RLS and they sink! ugh. it's the worst. I'm planning on taking some X to help me sleep as i plan to take my last does of Oxy at around 2pm Monday. I will for sure be hurting by 2pm on Tuesday. In the past, i have taken tramadol to help with any pain i had until i could take more Oxy and it always helped tremendously. I am prescribed Tramadol but never really liked it b/c it did nothing for a high and that's what i was looking for. i know i sound ridiculously whiny but i'm scared of those 24 hours. I keep telling myself it's a small price to pay for peace of mind. I know people have it much harder than me and have me it through....much respect to those that go the CT route. i just don't have it in me.
    I wish I could give you straight advice i really do. If the advice i gave you hurt you or put your life in jeopardy or made your symptoms worse i wouldn't be able to live with that guilt. I'm sure one thing I can say without a doubt is avoid the tramadol. It's your choice though please please remember that. Don't take any of my advice unless a professional confirms it or that you know 100 percent what you're doing. You know your body better than anyone else. Also like the other members have said is to not use the "time" thing to guage your induction. They use the COWS test which in short determines what level of withdrawal you are in. The reason for that is to avoid precipitated withdrawl. Please don't let any of that scare you because I got in my own head before I started subs and almost talked myself out of it. If I would have done that who knows where my life would be today. Subs will be the tool you need to get your life back. I can't give guarantees because that wouldn't be fair but when I started subs it brought me out of that opiate fog. I was my old self and literally couldn't contain my excitement. After the second day I swear to you the thought of pills was completely gone. Instead of waiting in a parking lot I was being productive and going out and loving life. Pills no longer had a grip on me. BUT! if you truly want to be clean you will have to properly taper the subs. Use them to get your life back in order and clear your head then get off of them as soon as you can. I wasn't planning on being on them this long but I got comfortable and back into a routine. Subs arnt nearly as controlling as pills but it's also not something to take lightly. All they do is make you feel normal but at some point you have to taper off or you will be in a similar position with pills. Use the subs to break the addictive behavior. Then when you have a clear head taper off and don't look back. You seem very level headed and you're asking all the right questions. Just keep motivating yourself and see it through. You're going to do this and you're going to be so thrilled to have your life back. Waking up every morning and not having pills on your mind will make you giddy with excitement. It's silly but that's what motivated me. I love waking up and thinking about coffee instead of pills lol if you have any other questions or need to vent I'm here

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    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    Also I was able to take a sub in under 12 hours with no adverse effects. Don't take one that soon because you might respond different but hopefully it will help your nerves a bit. Once you make it on subs you will be glad you did. Everything leading up to it won't matter and you will have your life back. Oh and a fat wallet of spending money lol pretty cool perk of not running out once maybe twice a day to meet someone for a very expensive habit. I was maybe two weeks away from losing it all. My house, my cars, my sanity. Subs truly saved my life. You will read several stories of the good and the bad. I'm just your average person with an average life who fell into a secret addiction that I never thought would happen.

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    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    No worries! I absolutely do NOT plan on using the Tramadol. I was just saying what i used to do in the past when i didn't have anything else to use. They would hold me over until i did. I can't wait to be giddy and waking up NOT thinking about pills??? well, color me happy, i'm ready for that too!!! I know i will have to do a taper eventually and this is not a quick fix. but i'm over it. i am out of town now and returning home in the next day or two. i had to make sure the i have enough pills to hold me over until my apt. so yeah i've spent a ridiculous amount of money to make sure of it. but it's the last time. i keep saying that over and over. i also plan on going to an NA meeting before my sub appointment. i'll probably be too shy to talk to anyone just yet but i want to go. this forum is amazing. i don't feel as alone anymore. and that's HUGE!

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    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    Secret describes my addiction as well. only my younger brother and his GF know about this. i feel like i should tell my cousin. i'm very close with her and she's actually with me now visiting family. i'm shocked she's never called me out on anything. i wonder if i tell her and she responds with, " i thought something was up." no one knows besides the two i mentioned. i hate it. secrets are toxic.
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    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    Haha NA is a good choice. I'm like you. Too shy. I could have benefited greatly from it. This forum is the closest to NA I have gotten. You're doing all the right things and making all the right choices. Ride it out and you won't be disappointed at all. We all make mistakes in life but it doesn't make us bad people. Matter of fact some of the most humbled selfless people I have ever met are addicts and ex addicts. We experience a dark side of life that most people can't comprehend. It makes us thankful for what we have and appreciate more. You have those people who turn there backs to people in need because they most likely don't fully understand but since we have been there and lived it we know the struggle and the battle and want anyone who is in the same boat to make it out on the other side. We deserve it. We really really deserve it. The best part is that you will enjoy life even more after beating this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Well after this you will feel strong enough to take on the world. Hang tight till Monday.

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    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimmy7 View Post
    Secret describes my addiction as well. only my younger brother and his GF know about this. i feel like i should tell my cousin. i'm very close with her and she's actually with me now visiting family. i'm shocked she's never called me out on anything. i wonder if i tell her and she responds with, " i thought something was up." no one knows besides the two i mentioned. i hate it. secrets are toxic.
    Very well said, they are toxic. You would be crazy surprised how supportive loved ones can be. It still blows my mind when I came clean to everyone how much they wanted to help me and be there for me. There's many reasons why we keep it secret. My reasons were to not hurt them and to not burden them with my mistakes but honestly the number one thing I did that helped me more than anything was to just let it out and not carry the weight of my addiction. I truly felt free and focused every day after that. Not having to lie or come up with excuses will take you to another level.
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    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    You' re absolutely right. I am going to tell my cousin tomorrow. Today is my Mom's bday so i don't want to do it today. We are all going out to dinner and having cake back at the house. I am heading home tomorrow. I spend most of my time at my mom's house in the summer and then she comes to me during the winter months. I love having her around. I am going to tell her once i start the sub program and have been to a few meetings. i'm sure that will help with my nerves and letting it out. I come from a very large family. I know my siblings will be supportive but i'm just do ashamed of letting them down. My older brother once said to me, "after everything you've been through, i wouldn't have been surprised if you became an addict." i just sat there like "if you only knew....." you've really been a godsend, JG.

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    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    I had a long talk with my cousin. i came "clean" with her about my using. she is on board for Tuesday and willing to hit a few meetings with me as well. talking about it makes such a difference. being honest is the only way to really go at this point. i'll tell other family members when i'm ready. i feel like a huge load has been taken off of me. one step....
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    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    Very well done!!! And I agree! Being able to vent your story to your loved ones helps so much! When I first came clean I remember feeling like I was talking a mile a minute because all that pent up emotion was finally able to come out. When I saw my family wasn't ashamed of me and supportive i just couldn't stop talking and I'm usually the reserved type. I like to listen more than I speak but you can't really tell with how I have been using this forum lol when you find people that understand and so used to hiding everything when you finally let go of it all it makes you feel good. It's not healthy to hold in so much emotion or to keep coming up with new lies to keep your secret safe. I'm so glad you're being productive in your recovery. Every step you take is bringing you closer to an end goal. Also with confessing to loved ones you will now be held accountable for getting clean and the motivation of not wanting to let them down will help carry you through. So proud of you!!!
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    conwaycreek is offline Member
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    Hey Shimmy,

    I don't have any great words of wisdom for you, just encouragement and support. It is great that your cousin is going to get involved, I think it's a big deal to have someone close to you with whom you can confide. For me, so much of this process brings shame...having the ability to air it out will make a substantial difference as you learn about yourself and how to get equipped with the tools you will need to stay clean. Anytime you need an ear, look me up!

    Conwaycreek

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    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by conwaycreek View Post
    Hey Shimmy,

    I don't have any great words of wisdom for you, just encouragement and support. It is great that your cousin is going to get involved, I think it's a big deal to have someone close to you with whom you can confide. For me, so much of this process brings shame...having the ability to air it out will make a substantial difference as you learn about yourself and how to get equipped with the tools you will need to stay clean. Anytime you need an ear, look me up!

    Conwaycreek
    Thank you, Conwaycreek. I really did feel so much better as soon as the words left my mouth. Do you mind sharing a little bit about your self with me? I'll read some of your threads to get a background. I am still trying to figure this site out...it says i haven't "socialized" yet and that i have no friends. AHAHAH. I don't know how to do any of that yet. I'm still getting my sea legs here.

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    conwaycreek is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimmy7 View Post
    Thank you, Conwaycreek. I really did feel so much better as soon as the words left my mouth. Do you mind sharing a little bit about your self with me? I'll read some of your threads to get a background. I am still trying to figure this site out...it says i haven't "socialized" yet and that i have no friends. AHAHAH. I don't know how to do any of that yet. I'm still getting my sea legs here.
    Shimmy,

    I've been a hydro and oxy abuser for about the last 5 years; like many, it started small and as pain management for a bad knee. I didn't have any real issues until my mother passed away and I "inherited" about 300 Vicodin. Since then, I've watched my daily habit grow from 30-40mg up to as high as 18+. More than once I've had to quit, but only because my supply ran out, so I've been through the cold turkey process a few times albeit against my will.

    Currently, I'm 11 days into a wean/taper method and it is working rather well. I've cut my consumption by half and with only minor WD symptoms, though I know the real work will begin soon enough. For now, I'm training myself to say "no" to the pills and building a head of steam for that day soon when I eat the last one.

    I'm a married father of 2, and no one knows about my habit except my dealer. I d have a friend that I expect to lean on when the going gets tough, and once I get sober intend to tell my wife about the nightmare journey I've been on. Quite recently I began to consider, quite guiltily, how much of my life I'm missing due to these little pills. Every day is consumed by managing the habit. Work suffers. Home life suffers. Why would I throw away all that I love just to eat more opiates? I don't even get high on them anymore!! So I found this website, and started reading the stories of others, and decided to take action. In order to be my children's hero, I have to become my own hero first. It's time.

    Today begins day 12 of my taper. I will eat 8 stinking lortabs today, no more. By this time next week I hope to be down to 6 or less, and by Sept down to zero.

    Look me up anytime. Just remember this: for both of us, willpower alone will not be enough. My brain is already trying to trick me! "One or two extra won't hurt" it says..."you don't really need to QUIT, just slow down"...thoughts like that. I just have to laugh at myself when I hear that voice, then remember my children are the reason I want to live. For so long I was convinced that I'd die an addict, that one night I'd just not wake up.

    So that's the first part of my journey, the rest is unfolding before me!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 08-10-2017 at 06:54 AM.

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    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by conwaycreek View Post
    Shimmy,

    I've been a hydro and oxy abuser for about the last 5 years; like many, it started small and as pain management for a bad knee. I didn't have any real issues until my mother passed away and I "inherited" about 300 Vicodin. Since then, I've watched my daily habit grow from 30-40mg up to as high as 18+. More than once I've had to quit, but only because my supply ran out, so I've been through the cold turkey process a few times albeit against my will.

    Currently, I'm 11 days into a wean/taper method and it is working rather well. I've cut my consumption by half and with only minor WD symptoms, though I know the real work will begin soon enough. For now, I'm training myself to say "no" to the pills and building a head of steam for that day soon when I eat the last one.

    I'm a married father of 2, and no one knows about my habit except my dealer. I d have a friend that I expect to lean on when the going gets tough, and once I get sober intend to tell my wife about the nightmare journey I've been on. Quite recently I began to consider, quite guiltily, how much of my life I'm missing due to these little pills. Every day is consumed by managing the habit. Work suffers. Home life suffers. Why would I throw away all that I love just to eat more opiates? I don't even get high on them anymore!! So I found this website, and started reading the stories of others, and decided to take action. In order to be my children's hero, I have to become my own hero first. It's time.


    Today begins day 12 of my taper. I will eat 8 stinking lortabs today, no more. By this time next week I hope to be down to 6 or less, and by Sept down to zero.

    Look me up anytime. Just remember this: for both of us, willpower alone will not be enough. My brain is already trying to trick me! "One or two extra won't hurt" it says..."you don't really need to QUIT, just slow down"...thoughts like that. I just have to laugh at myself when I hear that voice, then remember my children are the reason I want to live. For so long I was convinced that I'd die an addict, that one night I'd just not wake up.

    So that's the first part of my journey, the rest is unfolding before me!
    I wish you a lot of luck with your taper and see you've been working hard at this! Awesome job. Tapers never worked for me. I've tried and if i have pills, well i'm most likely going to do them!! I have been def cutting back leading up to my suboxone induction. I am trying at minimum to skip two of my doses a day. It's not easy, especially b/c i know that i have the pills. Telling someone has made it easier tho and makes me accountable. She counted out my pills with me last night and knows what i should be taking every day. I know she'll hold me to it. She's also offered to stay with me while i'm doing this. I live alone and just don't want to be here pacing the floors by myself. I know that feeling all too well. I called my insurance today to double check that the suboxone is covered. I am neurotic so even though i read it online, i have to hear someone say it lol. I called the DR back and asked her to call me b/c i have some questions for her. I also looked up NA meetings in my area. I'm going to a women's only meeting at 7:30 tonight. My cousin offered to come with me but i think i'd rather go alone. It's something I have to start doing for myself. it's MY recovery. I'm feeling super emotional. I cry for no reason. maybe i'm mourning the lost years or the loss of what has been my BF all these years. Either way, i'm happy to see it go. I just want a do over. WE all deserve a do over. Thanks for letting me vent.

    I've never wanted something so bad.

  20. #20
    conwaycreek is offline Member
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    Default what a great attiude

    You are 100% correct that only YOU can own this. I think you'll get a lot out of the NA meetings, it's like on here but in person. You'll get to meet others that know exactly what you're going through and without judgement. These little pills are the devil! I've done some stupid things in my life...usually over a girl...but this ranks right up there at the top! And, I hear ya on the do over; best we can do is be sure we really, truly learn from it and just never, ever let our guard down in the future. I've seen 20 year alcoholics have relapses...it never goes away. You and I will both have to just be hyper-aware in the future.

    I may have missed a post or two of yours, though...have you already been to NA or is it that you're soon to begin? If, when you go, you don't like the room or connect, don't be discouraged...try a different meeting elsewhere, or at a different time. Of course I can only speak for myself, but the amount of shame I carry over this is tremendous. I think it would be difficult to walk into a room full of folks, even those with a similar situation, and not feel that shame acutely. Just try to remember that what we think of ourselves is most usually not at all what others are thinking.

    Best wishes and I look forward to your next update!

    -CC

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    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by conwaycreek View Post
    You are 100% correct that only YOU can own this. I think you'll get a lot out of the NA meetings, it's like on here but in person. You'll get to meet others that know exactly what you're going through and without judgement. These little pills are the devil! I've done some stupid things in my life...usually over a girl...but this ranks right up there at the top! And, I hear ya on the do over; best we can do is be sure we really, truly learn from it and just never, ever let our guard down in the future. I've seen 20 year alcoholics have relapses...it never goes away. You and I will both have to just be hyper-aware in the future.

    I may have missed a post or two of yours, though...have you already been to NA or is it that you're soon to begin? If, when you go, you don't like the room or connect, don't be discouraged...try a different meeting elsewhere, or at a different time. Of course I can only speak for myself, but the amount of shame I carry over this is tremendous. I think it would be difficult to walk into a room full of folks, even those with a similar situation, and not feel that shame acutely. Just try to remember that what we think of ourselves is most usually not at all what others are thinking.

    Best wishes and I look forward to your next update!



    -CC
    CC,
    My brother is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for 23 years. Throughout the years, i have spent time in meetings with him or close friends that are in the program. I mentioned somewhere else on here that i was always drawn to the philosophy of the program. I always walked out feeling a little better. It's like somewhere in my subconscious, i knew i really belonged there...and the monster in me really wasn't even active yet. I wasn't doing any pills at that point in time but i was def binge drinking. My brother has told me that the "rooms" gave him his life back but you have to get out there and live life. I would say for the first five years he hit A LOT of meetings. He said he always knows when he needs a meeting and that becomes priority. He does spend time mentoring people and says that that's what keeps him sober. Two years ago, my younger brother entered detox for >>>>>> abuse and unfortunately, he's still active but that's a whole other story. My older brother said that he had to be careful with helping him b/c that jeopardized his own recovery and he couldn't do that. i don't understand that at all. maybe one day i will. as you can see, addiction runs wild in my family. I haven't told him any of this yet. I know he won't judge me. he is one of the best human beings i know and not b/c he's my brother but just bc he is....i just have so much shame, like you mentioned. the shame is horrible. i don't want him to disappointed in me. hell, i'm disappointed so why shouldn't he be too. I think i read that you this is your "secret"? do you have anyone that you confide in? sorry if you answered this already...i'm all over the place today.

  22. #22
    conwaycreek is offline Member
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    Default secret

    Your brothers' experience will be very helpful I'm sure. Like you, addiction is rampant in my own family. Funny, I swore off drinking after college because I didn't want to ever become the alcoholic my father was (he's sober now, thankfully)...I may have an occasional beer or glass of wine, but for some reason I don't need convincing that the potential for me to have a problem with alcohol is there. So why would I let myself get going on these pills? Who knows, a question for another day I guess.

    Currently I don't have anyone to share the struggle with, but that's okay. I don't need convincing that I have a problem, that's for sure! And, I do plan to have the talk with my wife, but only once I'm sober. That may be a strange way to go about it, but for me I can't begin to take myself even remotely seriously until I've stopped taking pills. Thus far, it hasn't been a handicap, and I've (so far) had another good day and stayed on target with my taper (down one more pill today). But, when I do finally eat that last one, and then start the detox, at that point I have a good friend I will go lean on for those worst few days, then come back home and spill the beans. I don't know why, but I feel like I have to win this fight on my own. Hopefully, it's not just my way of setting me up for failure, but honestly I don't believe that's what it is. I want to present my wife with the whole picture, and bring to that conversation a person that's already had a small victory by getting clean, then enlisting her support to help me stay that way.

    Gotta run! Let's both make more good things happen!

    -CC

  23. #23
    conwaycreek is offline Member
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    Hi again Shimmy!

    Forgive my frequent posting, but this forum has become a lifeline for me, reading about others' experiences and learning about the different methods, etc. I was reading your thread, I think, and regarding the sub program you're soon to embark upon. I have not considered subs or methadone, and frankly don't want to go that route. Let's hope for my sake that I can make the leap sometime soon and make it. Reading about suboxone, I have to agree that you'll likely get more good advice here than from your physician unless that Dr has extensive experience with addicts.

    Have you ever tried a taper? I know you said you didn't think it'd work for you, but I bet it can. I started the first day as a normal one, except all I did was tell myself "no extra dosing today"... I counted out 15 little nasties, put them in my pocket, and then just went about a normal day. Then on day 2, went to 12 and again just told myself "no extras"...it really wasn't any big deal and was similar to those days when my supply is low and had to ration. By day 3 I had built up confidence that I really did have some say-so, and that the pills didn't have to be my master. From there, it became a challenge and continues to be, meaning that it's like any other task where I challenge myself to do it.

    I suspect that a wean program would help you to realize some of the same self control I'm learning for myself, at least I hope it would. Don't misunderstand, I want you to do whatever works and helps to bring you freedom. But, I also don't want to see anyone trade one problem for another. Either way, I'm cheering for you and I KNOW you can do it because I'm a whimp and I've got this far.

    -CC

  24. #24
    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by conwaycreek View Post
    Hi again Shimmy!

    Forgive my frequent posting, but this forum has become a lifeline for me, reading about others' experiences and learning about the different methods, etc. I was reading your thread, I think, and regarding the sub program you're soon to embark upon. I have not considered subs or methadone, and frankly don't want to go that route. Let's hope for my sake that I can make the leap sometime soon and make it. Reading about suboxone, I have to agree that you'll likely get more good advice here than from your physician unless that Dr has extensive experience with addicts.

    Have you ever tried a taper? I know you said you didn't think it'd work for you, but I bet it can. I started the first day as a normal one, except all I did was tell myself "no extra dosing today"... I counted out 15 little nasties, put them in my pocket, and then just went about a normal day. Then on day 2, went to 12 and again just told myself "no extras"...it really wasn't any big deal and was similar to those days when my supply is low and had to ration. By day 3 I had built up confidence that I really did have some say-so, and that the pills didn't have to be my master. From there, it became a challenge and continues to be, meaning that it's like any other task where I challenge myself to do it.

    I suspect that a wean program would help you to realize some of the same self control I'm learning for myself, at least I hope it would. Don't misunderstand, I want you to do whatever works and helps to bring you freedom. But, I also don't want to see anyone trade one problem for another. Either way, I'm cheering for you and I KNOW you can do it because I'm a whimp and I've got this far.

    -CC
    Hey there! Post away! i love reading and interacting with people who "get me" in this forum! I have tried to taper, i've tried to just stop, but it doesn't work. i have thought long and hard about this. I wish i would have quit a lot sooner and saved myself a lot of time and money but it is what it is. i'm really proud of you, though. It seems that you keep pushing through even when times get really tough. keep it up! reach out to me at anytime. i'm always in and out! best of luck

  25. #25
    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    I hate to butt in and absolutly dont wsnt to tell you what to do and can only give advice. If you can taper and quit the pills than obviously that's going to be the best choice, but if that keeps failing then subs will help a lot. One thing about subs that truly helped me was breaking that re-dose cycle. I tried a pill taper only to see that my routine involved taking pills at set times through the day. With sub, if you can swing it, is only one dose a day and done. Then you won't have opiates on your mind at any point through the day and can focus on other parts of your recovery. I just couldn't make it on a pill taper because constant popping of pills is still keeping them on my mind. Everyone is different so do whatever you believe will work, but if having pills on your mind is an issue than one dose of sub can be simple and leave your mind off of that pill "alarm clock" Anyways just my 2 cents and I hope you're doing Well!

  26. #26
    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    I forgot to mention. I don't advocate trading pills for subs. Just using them as a tool. After your head is clear taper off of them as soon as comfortable.! Stay safe!
    Shimmy7 likes this.

  27. #27
    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    Sorry I for an extra post but I'm on my taper and I'm having a bit of trouble sleeping, not anything to be worried about I'm sure I'll pass out soon. Anyways I realized I'm leaving walls of advice and not really asking how you're doing soooooo how are you doing?! Lol things going smooth and are you still anticipating next week?? Have the people you told been supportive to you and an outlet for your feelings? Really, how are you feeling overall about your current situation and outlook? Re reading my post made me sound like a counseling robot without ever really asking about you!? Just always giving you my point of view and stories haha I assure you I'm not a robot. Hope all is well and that fire is still there to be clean

  28. #28
    Shimmy7 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jgray19896 View Post
    Sorry I for an extra post but I'm on my taper and I'm having a bit of trouble sleeping, not anything to be worried about I'm sure I'll pass out soon. Anyways I realized I'm leaving walls of advice and not really asking how you're doing soooooo how are you doing?! Lol things going smooth and are you still anticipating next week?? Have the people you told been supportive to you and an outlet for your feelings? Really, how are you feeling overall about your current situation and outlook? Re reading my post made me sound like a counseling robot without ever really asking about you!? Just always giving you my point of view and stories haha I assure you I'm not a robot. Hope all is well and that fire is still there to be clean
    Hey robot! I was told to take less every day and yesterday i did but the anxiety and crying pushed me into taking more. it's a vicious cycle. i'm not making excuses for myself. i'm wrong and i know it. i spent a lot of time in a chat room for addicts last night. a friend in recovery gave it to me...she thought it was for someone else....ha! you know i was asking her questions for a "friend." again, a sham. i'm having my best friend down to visit me. i'm hoping i am able to keep my mind busy and pass the time. None of my core circle of friends are users. i've had the same friends since junior high school and i'm so happy that none of them are like me....cause i know all too about people, places and things. As i was driving home from my cancelled meeting last night, i also thought about how nice it's going to be to not have to run all over for my pills. I know no one in my area to get from so that's a positive thing. I usually have to drive about two hours from home if i don't have....i know, CRAZY!!! i hope you were able to finally fall asleep last night. I also hope that today is much better for you! You're doing great, JGray...you're here and your posting and checking in on other people) Thanks for being a "friend."

  29. #29
    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimmy7 View Post
    Hey robot! I was told to take less every day and yesterday i did but the anxiety and crying pushed me into taking more. it's a vicious cycle. i'm not making excuses for myself. i'm wrong and i know it. i spent a lot of time in a chat room for addicts last night. a friend in recovery gave it to me...she thought it was for someone else....ha! you know i was asking her questions for a "friend." again, a sham. i'm having my best friend down to visit me. i'm hoping i am able to keep my mind busy and pass the time. None of my core circle of friends are users. i've had the same friends since junior high school and i'm so happy that none of them are like me....cause i know all too about people, places and things. As i was driving home from my cancelled meeting last night, i also thought about how nice it's going to be to not have to run all over for my pills. I know no one in my area to get from so that's a positive thing. I usually have to drive about two hours from home if i don't have....i know, CRAZY!!! i hope you were able to finally fall asleep last night. I also hope that today is much better for you! You're doing great, JGray...you're here and your posting and checking in on other people) Thanks for being a "friend."
    Good to hear back from you! I understand the anxiety and crying. Whenever I tried quitting pills,everyone has that one thing that is a brick wall to their success, mine was the anxiety. I think I might have been able to tough out the rest but anxiety got me every single time. You're doing great though!! Very few people deep in addiction can just come off of their drug of choice without failing at least once or twice. Sometimes much more than that! I had to have tried well over 10 times to quit. The thing that will make you succeed though is keeping at it. Every time you cave into your addiction don't view yourself as wrong or bad. View it as learning about yourself. Then after go right back at it and try again. The more you try the better your chances of success. It's a battle for sure but keep getting up when you're knocked down and fight back twice as hard. Ok m sorry your NA meeting was cancelled. Would that have been your first one or have you gone already? Enjoy the time with your best friend! That should help keep your mind off of the negatives for a while. Don't be a strange!
    Shimmy7 likes this.

  30. #30
    Jgray19896 is offline Member
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    What's the word?? Was the induction a success?? Hopefully all is well!
    Shimmy7 likes this.

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