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ADDICTION. & i cant understand (Part II)
  1. #2581
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    It is so relaxing not having to sleep with my wallet in the pillow case. This morning I realized the change in my bottle is still there! Sounds so small but to me it was huge it’s great being able to leave the house. I can come and go as I please Dont have to babysit making sure what is left does not end at pawn shop being able to breath look at a sunset and enjoy it. I do yoga at night. Saved 100 bucks so far by not smoking. This game s my year

    Amy wrote to us yesterday saying how she had to be released to us because half way houses are full of drugs. If we don’t let her back she will choose to stay in jail. Wrote her this morning you may not come here. A half way house is the best thing it is her decision what to do. Told her we love her but will not allow her back. That’s right standing up for myself! After 4 times of living thru this I have the courage to take back my life

    Hope you all are good. Heading off to my archery league. Man it’s good to be free!

  2. #2582
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hello. I dream of cigarettes, every night. Last night I didn't open the pack or smoke one. Guess that's a good sign. I understand now when addicts say they dream of their drug of choice. One step at a time.

    Nancy, hope you are doing good.

  3. #2583
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    Well friends went out dancing with friends last night. Everyone of them said I looked happy. My friend since high school said. Kathy you look like the old you but better. She even commented on how think my hair is. Ladies under stress you know what I mean. Stress makes you hair fall out and dries it up

    So the lesson here is the light at the end of the tunnel is awesome! Keep the faith

  4. #2584
    Workingonme is offline Junior Member
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    I am doing great, everything is back to normal here......thank goodness. This afternoon we are going to see the Condo my middle son purchased which I haven’t seen yet—so happy for him!
    Our oldest told us last week that he was grateful for all that we had done by letting him stay (in our Condo where he’s living)......so that was nice to hear.
    It’s so nice to have peace and calm restored back again, I know it’s up to me to keep that attitude regardless if relapse happens again or not.............let it begin with me...........and of course—let go and let god!
    Wow, Kathleen!!!! You so so so deserve all this happiness —it is YOUR time—AND IT IS ABOUT TIME!!!!!
    I am so happy for you, I am a true believer that things happen for a reason, and that God has a plan for all of us.
    This is the next phase of lives......the sixtie are sensational!!! Take care, Nancy

  5. #2585
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hello friends, have been very busy here. It's the year for weddings and all the parties they bring. My aunt was 90 years old last weekend, her kids had a nice party. Saw the first flowers blooming here! Spring is right around the corner. Haven't heard from Amy in a long time. She must be upset that we will not allow her back to the house. Heck, just finished painting her old room yesterday. It was gross. 4 times ago I said never again, this time it is really never again. Am getting to old for this. Used to hear people say how it's not as easy to do things as it once was. Man, are they right! Yoga is helping but even with that cannot bend like I used to. It does help with sleep. Take care, we are getting ready for the last (hopefully) snow storm of the season.
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  6. #2586
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by kathleen5hockey View Post
    Hello friends, have been very busy here. It's the year for weddings and all the parties they bring. My aunt was 90 years old last weekend, her kids had a nice party. Saw the first flowers blooming here! Spring is right around the corner. Haven't heard from Amy in a long time. She must be upset that we will not allow her back to the house. Heck, just finished painting her old room yesterday. It was gross. 4 times ago I said never again, this time it is really never again. Am getting to old for this. Used to hear people say how it's not as easy to do things as it once was. Man, are they right! Yoga is helping but even with that cannot bend like I used to. It does help with sleep. Take care, we are getting ready for the last (hopefully) snow storm of the season.
    Hello Kathleen,

    Sounds like you're taking advantage of our warmer temps. Me too! I'm looking at the 5 gallon pail of paint that I had to abandon when I had my surgery in October. I'm in love with the gray/white combo so that's what I painted my bedroom and I'm going to do the same in the bathroom. I don't have any flowers popping up yet but the crocus are nearly there. I hated seeing that we're getting more snow tonight and tomorrow but the good news is that this time of year it melts as quickly as it comes. That, my friend is the bright side.

    You haven't heard anything from Amy? Any idea where she's hanging her hat these days? I thought that she was headed back to "Camp". How's Matt doing? Is he at home or is he out of the house too? I bet it feels good to at least have some peace at home. I sure wish I did but not yet. Grrrrrr

    Peace,

    Cat

  7. #2587
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    Any was put back in jail Han 3rd. I hear from her occasionally. Matt moved out last year and is doing good. He works as an electrical apprentice

    Storm is over. Still cold here but spring is on the way!

  8. #2588
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hello. Snowing again. It’s the winter that doesn’t end. Hope everyone is safe and warm

  9. #2589
    Workingonme is offline Junior Member
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    Yep, Spring doesn’t seem to want to show its face here as well....! It’s my Birthday -Happy St Patrick’s Day!, I’m 62 today- have no idea where the ..time...years...have gone. Going to a hockey game this evening with my husband and one of my sisters and brother in law, then out for a few drinks after. Then tomorrow out for a family dinner with the kids (they all had plans today). So looking forward to a nice weekend—hope all is well with you Kathleen..........Take care! Nancy

  10. #2590
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    Happy birthday! Yes spring is right around the corner
    Have a great time at the hockey game. I really enjoy the game too. I’m right behind you turning 62. Social security. Yeah.

  11. #2591
    Workingonme is offline Junior Member
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    Checking in with the new month of April...seeing how everything is going with you Kathleen and hoping all is well!
    Everything is rolling along here-finally have our first beautiful week of spring. Need to do some spring cleaning badly around here—waiting for the urge to hit me to do it....still waiting!! Take care, Nancy

  12. #2592
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    Default Happy Easter

    Hello friends. Crazy busy weekend. Went to a wedding, man alive, I am getting old. The young people do weddings differently than what we did in the old days. Had a great time thou. My friend rented a room for us in the old inn. So cozy and quiet. Right on the ocean. Good times. Had Matt stay with dog, so of course, the next day I am searching around. Funny how I don't trust anymore. Found a pill on the floor. Oh well. We then proceeded to cut the bed in half to throw it out the window. No more "extra" beds in this house. While doing that more drug garbage in the box spring. Does this stuff ever go away. Am sure it was from Amy, it was her "brand" stamped on the bags. Although, did find a few other things. Just cannot trust anymore, and they prove me right.

    So, 2 more weddings to go then no more weddings for me. It does make me sad to see my friends and family's kids moving on, heck. they aren't kids anymore, they are in their 30's. This too shall pass. It's just hard but I am strong.


    Take care my friends.
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  13. #2593
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hello friends. Just checking in

  14. #2594
    Workingonme is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Kathleen, hope all is well with you. Just got through paying taxes OUCH!-we got dinged pretty big this year....oh well, things could be worse.
    Our middle son is getting ready to move into his new place, escrow closed 2 weeks ago but he’s having it painted and bedrooms carpeted before the actual move....so in the meantime our home is a mess with all his half packed and newly purchased stuff. Excited for his new venture in life and very proud of what he has accomplished so far. My husband and I are grateful we were able to help with his down payment (has helped eased up some of the guilt from spending all that $$$ on the oldest).......when comes time for our youngest (not that young -27), that we’re able to do the same thing. As for now Uncle Sam has wiped us out!!
    As for my oldest, he’s still in the Condo and still with the girlfriend but she lives back home with the parents. She no longer texts me....that stopped after the big blow up. She only text me to wish me a happy birthday and to invite us to her families annual Greek Easter. I like it so much better that way, even though there’s an obvious strain with it. There’s also an obvious strain with my oldest son and my relationship.... but it’s been that way through these last several years—I’m learning to live with it.
    What’s new with you? What’s the latest on Amy? Have you gone to visit? How is your son doing? Weather a little back and forth here-how about your way? You had talked at one point about moving didn’t you—if so are those still the plans??
    Take care, Nancy

  15. #2595
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi Nancy,

    It's been so busy here. Went to another wedding last weekend, one more to go. They are so hard for me to get thru. Depression sets in when I see all the happy families. Oh well. This to shall pass. My younger brother was diagnosed with colon cancer. His surgery is next week. So more turmoil. It's always something! Hubby has been sick for 2 weeks, sinus infection. I am surrounded by sick people. Amy is doing ok, she calls her father almost every day. He probably will drive up there this week. Last time he drove there, they were on lock down. 4 hours wasted. As long as it's not me, don't care. He is weakening, can tell. Last night she said she can't stand it much longer. If she comes to our home, she will be released in Sept. To wait for a half way house, who knows? I am planning to move, waiting for my social security to start in September.

    So my friends, emotions are up and down. When you loose a child it hurts daily.
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  16. #2596
    Workingonme is offline Junior Member
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    Sorry to hear about your brother Kathleen I hope the surgery goes well and that they caught it early.
    Going to visit Amy I’m sure must be very hard on your husband, seeing her in that environment must take a huge toll on him. Is it his plan on having her come home if there is no opening at a ‘half way house’?—is it yours? Is that why you said your moving?? Forgive me for being so nosy, just curious of what your plans were/are. If it’s none of my business – don’t hesitate to tell me so! I know the hurt yet I cannot imagine the hurt that you are entering into this at a time when my heart goes out to you cash the I know that hurt....... yet I cannot imagine the hurt that YOU are enduring during these times.....
    I j u s t c a n n o t i m a g i n e.
    My hope and wish is that Amy comes out of this sick and tired of the “same ol’ -same ol’ “ and wants to move on and put that in the past.......and also the fact that she’s getting older and more mature —to ME, plays in her favor. Anyway, that is my wish...
    All of our emotions are up and down. If someone is constantly saying everything is wonderful, they’re just busy trying to convince others of that—that’s all! You have come such a long way—your ‘ups’ have surpassed your downs , it’s amazing- just go back and read some of your old posts—the difference is day and night! You are enjoying life again-you even said so! Sure, there’s going to be those nagging reminders that stare us in the face—but stare it straight on—-When you see that happy bride, or that happy parent sending that college student off, we have no idea what went on in there personal life with that child OR what MAY yet lie ahead for them— we never know. Did you ever stop to think that someone (a stranger) may think the same thing when they see you somewhere having a good time/shopping or say out to dinner for example. They could be suffering, and look over at you having a good time..and give ANYTHING to be in YOUR shoes...you just never know...... just because people give outward appearance of happiness (that’s what we do right?) doesn’t mean they don’t have there own set of personal problems——whatever that may be.
    Have a great weekend—keep in touch.
    Take care, Nancy

  17. #2597
    Workingonme is offline Junior Member
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    This will be my 2nd time posting....the first one mysteriously disappeared-hmmmm. Why Kathleen are you now listed as “deleted820”. ??? What is going on???!? I am very confused right now, especially since my question is being deleted. Let’s see if this disappears........ Nancy

  18. #2598
    deleted820 is offline Advanced Member
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    I asked for it to be deleted. My brother came out of surgery great. All cancer taken out, no chemo needed. Went to the third and last wedding for a long time. It was so sad, his son od'd a few years back, during the ceremony they mentioned him, the bride started crying. Sat with my other cousin who's son is an addict. All around a sad day.

    Good news is went for a physical am healthy with low blood pressure. Can you imagine? We talked and she wanted to put me on depressants, said no thanks.

    So my friends, all is well. Hope you all are too.

  19. #2599
    Workingonme is offline Junior Member
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    Glad to hear all is well with you, thought something happened and you left .........
    Well my son is back at it....... came to us 3 weeks ago for help, supported him with the “Thomas Recipe”. His girlfriend told us that he confessed to her that a few days ago that he used again. I told her to inform him that we now know and that if she was smart she would cut it off with him- and block him from her phone, ( which which she did) and we will not have any communication with him. He has not attempted to call us. So so so sick of this, I know you know Kathleen. I know God has his plan but sometimes I wonder what it is -I just can’t deal with this anymore.

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