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Anxiety and depression directly related to opiates?
  1. #181
    Ilovemtndogs7 is offline Advanced Member
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    I agree with Beef!

    You got this. Do what you need to do and stick with the taper. You’ve done it before. You CAN accomplish this. I know it. How is tapering going? Actually? Power of positive thinking. It works. Win for today and beyond. Sheryl
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  2. #182
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Ricky....Not much to add....You know the Deal....I Hope and Pray You Can Power through the Taper Plan this Time around!! Many Of US Cheering You On My Friend!! Have A Good Day.....And Like Dogs7 said....Win For Today!! Don't even think about Tomorrow!! Stay Strong Just For TODAY!!.

  3. #183
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    I did this before, almost three years ago to the day. But this taper is so much harder. I've only slept for maybe a few hours in the past couple of days. The depression is crippling and the thing is that I'm still taking the opiates? I'm not stabilizing like I did about three weeks ago, I'm trying to figure out what I was doing differently then? I'm not really on a dosing schedule yet either because I been just getting enough meds for one or two days at a time and then freaking out! Was supposed to get enough meds to finally finish a taper plan but it keeps falling through? Very scared and depressed right now, hoping to get some sleep here shortly? Can't wait to get through this, feeling trapped! God bless us all!

  4. #184
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Ricky, I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you the way I meant to be. Lately, I have felt that I just had nothing to give. You are a very smart guy, you know a lot about this stuff, you know what you need to do. I have much faith in you. You will DO this, friend. I have absolutely no doubt! ((hugs, love, prayers going up,and thanks much for your help!))
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-01-2018 at 11:21 AM.

  5. #185
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricky71 View Post
    I did this before, almost three years ago to the day. But this taper is so much harder. I've only slept for maybe a few hours in the past couple of days. The depression is crippling and the thing is that I'm still taking the opiates? I'm not stabilizing like I did about three weeks ago, I'm trying to figure out what I was doing differently then? I'm not really on a dosing schedule yet either because I been just getting enough meds for one or two days at a time and then freaking out! Was supposed to get enough meds to finally finish a taper plan but it keeps falling through? Very scared and depressed right now, hoping to get some sleep here shortly? Can't wait to get through this, feeling trapped! God bless us all!
    Oh Ricky...
    Yes I hear but have no experience thank God every time we relapse it gets tougher so let's get this chit over taper taper taper you know what you have to do before you get in so deep you have to cold turkey... We are here for you call if it gets so unbearable me Beef Che we are right here my friend...
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  6. #186
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leah987 View Post
    Ricky, I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you the way I meant to be. Lately, I have felt that I just had nothing to give. You are a very smart guy, you know a lot about this stuff, you know what you need to do. I have much faith in you. You will DO this, friend. I have absolutely no doubt! ((hugs, love, prayers going up,and thanks much for your help!))

    Thanks for the post Ryka.
    I may know a lot about this stuff and know what I need to do but unfortunately it doesn't make it any easier for me to get off this junk! The depression is relentless, it's so scary to feel like this everyday! I only took 40mg today which is good and going in the right direction but I'm definitely not feeling stable on this dose. Still really mad at myself for even putting myself in this situation again, I had almost two years clean! So angry and sick to my stomach that I spent around $15,000 on opiates during the past year that I have been using again! Still really mad at myself for falling off the taper a month ago! I can't believe I was down to 15mg a day and stable, if I didn't fall off the rails I would be racking up clean time right now, healing my brain! Along with saving about $1500 that I spent on meds in the past month! I'm also struggling right now to even find the meds I need to help me finish this taper?

    This truly sux and I wouldn't want anyone to experience what I'm going through! So if anyone reads this that is thinking about trying opiates for fun or a recovering addict thinking that you can control casual use I'm telling you that you will soon be regretting your choice and be in a very dark and scary place!

    I have maybe slept a total of 5 hours in the past three days, my mind won't stay calm long enough! I have a few supplements and amino acids like 5-HTP, Tryptophan and Gaba that I specifically take before trying to rest but they aren't helping? I did take a .5mg xanax about an hour ago so I hope that will help me finally get at least a little calm rest? And yes, I know all about the dangers of benzos and I'm being very careful with it! I can't wait to get off this garbage and start feeling normal again? Lord please give me the strength and willpower to stick to the taper and finally finish it? God bless us all!

    PS
    A big thanks to everyone else as well that has posted to my thread and who continues to post with support and prayers!
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  7. #187
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    So sorry for what you're going through. Yes, it sux.... It sux 100 times over. Don't beat yourself up over this. It's horrible, but it happens to us addicts... Have you ever tried clonidine? It's helping me a lot. (so far) It's gotten rid of like 90% of the anxiety and insomnia. From what I understand, it's just recently been approved to help us get off opiods? Hope you are peacefully sleeping now. Sending up a prayer for you now...((hugs,and love))
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  8. #188
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leah987 View Post
    So sorry for what you're going through. Yes, it sux.... It sux 100 times over. Don't beat yourself up over this. It's horrible, but it happens to us addicts... Have you ever tried clonidine? It's helping me a lot. (so far) It's gotten rid of like 90% of the anxiety and insomnia. From what I understand, it's just recently been approved to help us get off opiods? Hope you are peacefully sleeping now. Sending up a prayer for you now...((hugs,and love))
    Ryka, thanks for the prayers and support as always! Unfortunately I'm not peacefully sleeping, just cannot stay asleep for more than 5 minutes!

    By the way, clonidine is a blood pressure med that has been used for years "off label" for opiate withdrawal, it's nothing new! Now, there is a new drug that has just recently been approved for opiate withdrawal called lucemyra (lofexidine) which is similar to clonidine but it's safer to use because it does not cause hypotension (low blood pressure). Just remember Ryka, clonidine can be abused, tolerance can happen and if used long-term you'll most likely need to taper off of it? After saying all that I wouldn't be opposed to trying it but I do not have a primary doctor or health insurance, it might be pretty difficult for me to get a prescription? I'm glad the clonidine is helping you, just be mindful of your usage and do some extensive research about it online so you are very familiar with what you are taking? Take care... God bless us all!
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  9. #189
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Oh, ok.... I have no idea how long "long-term" would be. I've been wondering how long I'm going to be on it. That's also why I decided to go with the faster taper after all. Less time on the clonidene, right?.....wow....being an addict sure is complicated..... Another prayer going up for you, Ricky.....I pray you find some relief soon....((love and hugs!))

  10. #190
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Keep trying to fight the fight Ricky!! I just don't know what else to say...? I am Very Sorry that Your struggling So bad!! Maybe going Cold Turkey is Gonna have to be it?? I know the first time I Ever detoxed from this stuff....I was taking over 150 to 200 mg. per Day....Then when I kept going in early for refills....Doc gave Me enough to get through a weekend...and that was it!! I got a bed in hospital to detox on a Monday....Was awful for Weeks....I Only stayed in the hospital for 3 Days...Until I felt like I could drive home...It was bad for even a couple months....But I was back to work in 10 days...Of course I was only 42 years old then.....But my Point is.....It's doable!! Like I've always said though....Your Journey....I am Here for You my Friend!! Do what You Need to Do.....Stay Strong Just For TODAY!!.
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  11. #191
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    No primary doctor and no health insurance?! Oh, Gosh,Ricky, I feel for you. I was in that exact predicament for years and years. That's horrible.Are there no charity clinics close to you? I have forgotten if you've shared where you live. Sounds like you may need more help than all your wonderful friends at the forum can give you. I know you're in a HORRIBLE place. I"ve had just a taste of what you're going through....just a TASTE, I'm sure! I'm not the smartest, most educated person on the forum, but I feel you need extra help. I'm so glad I finally reached out to my doctor....Go to an ER, maybe? The ER didn't help me, but they wouldn't help because the ER doc wanted my regular doctor to do it. I kind of see his point. That won't be an issue with you, right? You said you spent big money you didn't have on the drugs. You may have to now pay more big money you don't have to get off this stuff. There's always bankruptcy later? That is not a perfect solution, but It's better than your going through all this for so long! Swallow your pride, Ricky, and go ask around, and beg if you need to! I did. And I'm SO glad I did. More prayer going up....((love and hugs))
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  12. #192
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Ricky, I just wrote you a long, totally brilliant post, but it disappeared suddenly. To make the story a little shorter, the gist of it was.....So sorry you are suffering so badly! No doctor and no insurance really sux. I was there for a LOT of years, so I know. You said you spent a lot of money you didn't have on the drug. You may now have to spend a lot of money on getting well. Reach out to doctors, clinics, hospitals, the ER, maybe....as many as it takes to find help. If it runs into money.....there's always bankruptcy later! Please don't be offended. This is your life and you are the only one who can run it. I'm not the smartest or the most educated person on the forum, but I think you need more help than we can give you. We love you,Ricky....swallow your pride and ask around for help! I did. I'm so glad I did.

  13. #193
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Well, I just found my missing post....sorry for the duplicate! ((hugs))

  14. #194
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Don't know what to say other than, God bless us all!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-03-2018 at 09:18 PM.
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  15. #195
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Yep. God bless us all, Ricky.....God bless us all.

  16. #196
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Ricky? How are you this morning? I have sent up many prayers for you the past couple of days, for whatever that's worth.((hugs))
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  17. #197
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Ricky I know what ur going thru. Was spending 700 a week on my DOC. I also don't have health insurance or I would've gone to a hospital detox for sure!!!!!!!! You can do this. It sux. It's so uncomfortable but while u have those lil pills around (like I had) addiction is so powerful it's gonna tell u ur not well, it's gonna say it's ok just take another n get some reprieve. Well that IS a lie. Taper plz taper. After that cold turkey might be the case sub for 2 days n done!!!!! Idk? But routing for u! Cmon u can do this.

  18. #198
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Ricky? Where are you, buddy?

  19. #199
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey, Ricky....hang in there....how is it going? Is your taper back under control? ((hugs, my friend))

  20. #200
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Proud of you, my friend, for the gargantuan effort you are no-doubt putting out to get your taper under control! Hang in there, buddy, take it one day at a time, you will get this thing done, one way or another! Prayers going up....

  21. #201
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Hi Ricky
    I hope u are ok. I read ur post and will update my progress on my thread a bit later. Just stopping in saying hello and wishing u well. And above all else ty so much for ur continued support to my recovery. I'll b bak. Be well. Stay strong u can do this.

  22. #202
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    How are you doing Ricky??...I Hope and Pray You keep Fighting until You Finally Get that Day ONE!! You Know it's worth some discomfort for a little while.....Coming out the other end is Awesome!! You CAN do this.....It's Hard....But Nothing Better than getting over on this side!! Prayers sent up....Stay Strong Just For TODAY!!

  23. #203
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Ricky? Update please?...We're worried about you.
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  24. #204
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    OK, Ricky. I get it. You'll post here when you get good and ready to post here! I hope and pray that your taper is back on track and you are doing better... ((hugs))

  25. #205
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi there my friend...
    I see a lot of members reaching out to you where you at...
    You can do this... We can do this....
    Love you....

  26. #206
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Update! For those of you here on the forums that know me and my past know that I cannot quit opiates cold turkey! The depression, anxiety and panic attacks that I personally experience from opiate withdrawal is debilitating and is something that I just can't handle!

    I tapered off of oxy three years ago per doctors taper schedule. The taper was extremely aggressive, I was tapered way too fast and by way too much! The doctor had no clue and neither did I? That was my very first time I experienced opiate withdrawal so I didn't know any better! I suffered through out the taper and it took me a good 3 months or so for the depression to lift and to feel normal again? That was very scary and something that I never wanted to experience again! We'll, fast forward to now? I relapsed about one year ago and have been using daily for the past 10 months or so! About 2 months ago I was able to taper down to 15mg of oxy/day with minimal discomfort! I was so close to getting off this junk but then I had a couple of hiccups that completely threw me off the taper! Since then I have been unsuccessful on getting back on/sticking to a taper schedule? I'm not sure what clicked just a couple months ago that doesn't click/work for me now?

    I am most definitely at the lowest point I have ever been with these evil pills! I'm consistently taking anywhere from 60mg-120mg of oxy/day? I have maxed out every single credit card I have in order to fund this garbage! I've figured I spent around $20,000 on pain meds since my relapse about a year ago? Due to an injury I haven't been working for the past few months either so there is no more money coming in at all!

    I have just one more opportunity to taper off the oxy! I should have access to eighty-five 7.5mg percs here in a few days, if I can stick to the taper schedule that I was having success with a couple months ago then I should have just enough meds to actually complete it from start to finish? If I fail this time again then my last resort will have to be Robert's sub therapy/taper plan! I simply won't be able to afford anymore oxy! I have steady access to subs. Sub therapy would cost me less than $2.00/day compared to the oxy which is anywhere from $60 to over $100/day! Obviously I want to avoid using subs at all costs but my hand may be forced due to financial circumstances? If I have to go the sub route you can all be rest assured that I will follow Robert's plan exactly! I know his plan inside and out, front to back and side to side! Again, this sub therapy would be the very last resort! Subs are definitely something I want to avoid if I can but I do know that tapering a partial agonist opiate like subs is easier than tapering a full agonist opiate like oxy! Not to say that sub therapy is easy by any means, I know just how strong subs are and sub therapy/taper is no cake walk! It's something I don't want to do, it scares me but like I said, I might not have any other choice?

    I'm hoping and praying that I will be successful this time tapering the oxy so I can get off this junk for good and avoid the subs all together! As always, I appreciate any and all support and prayers? God bless us all!

  27. #207
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricky71 View Post
    Update! For those of you here on the forums that know me and my past know that I cannot quit opiates cold turkey! The depression, anxiety and panic attacks that I personally experience from opiate withdrawal is debilitating and is something that I just can't handle!

    I tapered off of oxy three years ago per doctors taper schedule. The taper was extremely aggressive, I was tapered way too fast and by way too much! The doctor had no clue and neither did I? That was my very first time I experienced opiate withdrawal so I didn't know any better! I suffered through out the taper and it took me a good 3 months or so for the depression to lift and to feel normal again? That was very scary and something that I never wanted to experience again! We'll, fast forward to now? I relapsed about one year ago and have been using daily for the past 10 months or so! About 2 months ago I was able to taper down to 15mg of oxy/day with minimal discomfort! I was so close to getting off this junk but then I had a couple of hiccups that completely threw me off the taper! Since then I have been unsuccessful on getting back on/sticking to a taper schedule? I'm not sure what clicked just a couple months ago that doesn't click/work for me now?

    I am most definitely at the lowest point I have ever been with these evil pills! I'm consistently taking anywhere from 60mg-120mg of oxy/day? I have maxed out every single credit card I have in order to fund this garbage! I've figured I spent around $20,000 on pain meds since my relapse about a year ago? Due to an injury I haven't been working for the past few months either so there is no more money coming in at all!

    I have just one more opportunity to taper off the oxy! I should have access to eighty-five 7.5mg percs here in a few days, if I can stick to the taper schedule that I was having success with a couple months ago then I should have just enough meds to actually complete it from start to finish? If I fail this time again then my last resort will have to be Robert's sub therapy/taper plan! I simply won't be able to afford anymore oxy! I have steady access to subs. Sub therapy would cost me less than $2.00/day compared to the oxy which is anywhere from $60 to over $100/day! Obviously I want to avoid using subs at all costs but my hand may be forced due to financial circumstances? If I have to go the sub route you can all be rest assured that I will follow Robert's plan exactly! I know his plan inside and out, front to back and side to side! Again, this sub therapy would be the very last resort! Subs are definitely something I want to avoid if I can but I do know that tapering a partial agonist opiate like subs is easier than tapering a full agonist opiate like oxy! Not to say that sub therapy is easy by any means, I know just how strong subs are and sub therapy/taper is no cake walk! It's something I don't want to do, it scares me but like I said, I might not have any other choice?

    I'm hoping and praying that I will be successful this time tapering the oxy so I can get off this junk for good and avoid the subs all together! As always, I appreciate any and all support and prayers? God bless us all!
    Thanks for the update Ricky!! I'm Sorry it has been SO difficult for You this time around....That stuff is EVIL for Sure!! That is One heck of a lot of $$ to go through on something You want OFF so badly!! I Hope and Pray You can get it done w/o the Subs as well.....But....if it comes down to that or ??? Good Luck My Friend....Please....Please keep Us Posted!! I know your not feeling really Great right Now....but in My opinion.....Writing about it Helps!...Prayers coming Your way as always!! Stay Strong Just For TODAY!!

  28. #208
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Ahhhhhh, Ricky.....a glimmer of hope shines thru the gloom and doom! I hear you about the anxiety and depression. I've had a little of that all my life, but the kind that comes from drugs and withdrawal from drugs is nothing I can handle. Use this new oxy wisely, Rick,and taper off. You have the subs as a safety net of sorts (if you can call it that). One way or another, Ricky, we'll get this DONE! love, and ((hugs))

  29. #209
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Hi Ricky
    I know how hard it is. More than once myself. Hang in there! You can do this. I'll update my thread soon. Just wishing u well.

  30. #210
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Ricky, how's it going? Hang in there, bud!

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