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Back Again ...Need support !
  1. #1
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Default Back Again ...Need support !

    Hello gang !

    Was on day 28 of clean and sober. Everything was going OK. My back pain was still a 7 on a scale of 10. Then it happened. I fell in the shower and did something to my back. The pain was through the roof ! I ended up at emergency and was prescribed Percocet. One thing led to another and started to snort again.

    It has been a little over two weeks now and again I told myself stop the madness ! So this morning I stopped. I know what is in front of me and am hoping quitting cold turkey again won't be as bad as the last go around. I cant believe its happened again.

  2. #2
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheCib View Post
    Hello gang !

    Was on day 28 of clean and sober. Everything was going OK. My back pain was still a 7 on a scale of 10. Then it happened. I fell in the shower and did something to my back. The pain was through the roof ! I ended up at emergency and was prescribed Percocet. One thing led to another and started to snort again.

    It has been a little over two weeks now and again I told myself stop the madness ! So this morning I stopped. I know what is in front of me and am hoping quitting cold turkey again won't be as bad as the last go around. I cant believe its happened again.

    Hey!

    Glad you're back, but sorry it's under these circumstances. Kudo's for admitting your relapse. You know what you need to do. It takes willpower, determination, and the intense desire to want it more than anything else. If you aren't already get yourself to some meetings such as NA/AA for face to face support and to have someone hold you accountable. Just might be what you're missing?

    Keep posting, it helps.

    Start adding those clean days again and don't stop!

    Randy

  3. #3
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Default Just For Today

    Im not using today ! I agree Randy
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  4. #4
    TheCib is offline Member
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    I guess it's really true what they say about addiction. If you do stop, once you start back up your right back to where you left off. Guess just feeling like I have let myself down and quit. Again all because I fell down in the shower. Now I have to go through w/d again and its a little scary.

    Going to have to stay positive and keep my eye on the brass ring. Looks like there are some NA meetings in my very near future !
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  5. #5
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Good morning,

    Got off work about 6 pm yesterday. My usual 12 hour day. Was super tired and lied down on the couch and passed out for about three hours. Started to get a runny nose and some watery eyes but no RLS so far.

    Slept on and off for the next 6 hours. An hour here, 2 hours there.

    Woke up this morning with my usual back pain scoring about a 7 on a scale of 10. Again a little runny nose and a little watery eye. Not much anxiety, no cold sweats yet.

    Trying to get through another 12 hour day at work and hoping the symptoms don't explode all at once. So last night was'nt bad at all. Will see what happens today !

  6. #6
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Default Rls

    Have been doing some research on the RLS condition that many of us get when going through withdraws. It seems like the is no one cure for this symptom. Have read to tale a potassium supplement and or a magnesium supplement. Both can reduce the symptom but no claim on eliminating the symptom. Some say use diazepam or something similar.

    Just curious if anyone has any thoughts on these RLS cures ?

  7. #7
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello Cib, Sorry to hear your having trouble with rls but please stay away from the diazepam...Take hot bath, heating pad massage no to the drugs..be well on your journey...This too shall pass.. Stay Strong for Today..
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  8. #8
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    RLS is the worst!! The only thing that gave me any relief at all was heating pads. I used two of them, one for each leg, set on low. If you can get your doctor to give you a few Gabapentin, those sometimes help. There were times when they made the RLS go completely away and other times they didn't work as well. Yes. I said that correctly. I've cold turkeyed detoxed dozens of times! Stay away from the diazapam and any other drug. It's not worth it. Gabapentin is harmless enough so long as you take it as prescribed and only for those first few days of detox. I never had a problem with them myself and I've had them prescribed on and off for years for nerve pain related to my back issues. They didn't produce any kind of euphoria nor did they make me sleepy (I wish they had, sleepy that is!).

    Sorry to say that other than what I mentioned, I never did find anything that really worked except for the Gaba.

    Peace,

    Cat

  9. #9
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Living,

    Good afternoon,

    Wanted to take this time and thank you for responding to my thread. Im on day three cold turkey after 28 day of sobriety. I have been taking both potassium and magnesium supplements. So far the RLS has stayed away this time. When I fell off the wagon was taking 10/325 Percocet then jumped to 30 mg oxycotin (snorting). I was on for 2 and a half weeks. Then the light bulb came on and said stop.

    I feel like an idiot but dealing with severe back pain is no joke. I have my second session of prolotherapy on Tuesday of next week. Hoping all goes well there. Please stay in touch, your words mean alot.

    TheCib
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  10. #10
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Hey Cat,

    Thank you for responding to my thread. I have been taking both Potassium and Magnesium supplements since day one. On day three and as you know can be the worst day of acute withdrawl. So far thr RLS has stayed away but I do take 1 diazepam at night.I only have 3 left and I started with six so one a day.

    I feel so stupid about jumping back on the oxycotins. I fell in the shower after 28 days of sobriety and my back was hurting like never before. It took me a half hour just to get out of the shower. Made it to the car. Then made it to emergency. They prescribed 10/325 percocet. Within a week I was snorting 30 mg oxys again. After two and a half weeks I said that was a enough.

    Back pain is no joke and what puzzles me the only thing that relieves the pain are the narcotics. Why ?

    Please stay in touch because your words do mean alot to me. Just for today !

    TheCib

  11. #11
    ChiefChe is offline Member
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    Hi Cib-

    I've followed your thread from your start. I feel a kinship with you cause I was a Scarface 2.

    Wanted to stop by to commend you on your strength, accountability, & courage to step back in the ring.

    I don't know what it is but the universe sure likes to throw a curve ball at us at that 28 day mark. I was 28 days free when I relapsed. The universe slapped me with what as been my biggest struggle all along. I see the same goes for u 2. I'm sorry you suffered a fall that set you back. I send prayers that nothing major comes of it & time heals it.

    Your absolutely right about jumping back in with both feet when we relapse. I controlled my use the first few times but by the end it was on & poppin. Insert a BIg BUT here, I was able to catch myself like you did. I beat myself up for it just like you did.

    Today, I am 108 days FREE from my relapse. Would have been 158 had I stayed the course. I felt the w/d but they weren't all that bad. Mentally, I tried not to let it stop the momentum I had built up. You see I still keep track of that first date- that's really just for me. That is the date, April 4, 2017, that I made the decision & claimed as my Day 1.

    You have a lot to deal with b/c you have real pain. I really didn't have physical pain- just got blessed with an MRI that could get me the scripts to drowned out my emotional pain.

    This is by no means a failure for you. You had 28 days free- so you know what that feels like. Look at this like a test addiction throws out at you. A curve ball that hit you & knocked you down. The biggest triumph is that you caught yourself & put a stop to it.

    You keep on keepin on. Get thru this detox. See what the back is doing- then start researching alternative healing.

    You"ll blow your next 28 days out the water!

    Luv & Light,

    Che

  12. #12
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Chief,

    Thank you sharing a part of you journey. And thank you for your words of encouragement. My journey began Aug 1 2017.
    After months of abusing oxy's I just said enough was enough. Your right, I need to get back on the horse and ride like the wind.I fell off I know and it was a big mistake. But can't look backwards only for tomorrow !

    As I said, I get my second session of prolotherapy on Tuesday and am hoping for great things. Please touch base every once in a while and check in. Right now I need words of encouragement and need to get back to some meetings. So here's to day three !

    Just for today !

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    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    Hi Cib
    I feel for you the anxiety and the RLS was terrible but it took a couple weeks but once I got past it every day got better and better and I could see my relief coming day by day... so I wish the same for you there are some supplements and things that you help a bit. I have heard of prescription medications that are specific for RLS but it's usually when it's quite severe and it's a permanent condition because I know the drugs have a lot of side effects to it. Wishing you all the best everyone here is very helpful and I'm sure you will get a lot of good advice and encouragement to help you on your journey!!!

  14. #14
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Autumn,

    Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Been down this slippery slope once before. Going cold turkey again because it works for me best. Tapering is not in my addictive personality.

    I wish you well on your journey and hope you find peace in sobriety. Its a good thing ! Day three about over looking forward to the week ahead !

    Stay in touch !
    Again, thank you for your words. They mean soooo much to me !
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    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello Cib, ahh coldturkey that's what my journey was the good Addict I am just couldn't taper. It's definitely a hard road but almost 11 months clean I can tell you it's possible... Glad you made it back from a relapse, don't beat yourself it happens be proud that you have Today clean. It will get easier as time passes. Have you looked into Na/Aa. As Randy said it might be just what you are missing. It will definitely hold you accountable.. Stay Strong for Today..

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    TheCib is offline Member
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    Good morning Living...

    Again, thank you for your words of encouragement. Yes I was attending NA meetings prior to my fall in the shower. Will have to make time and get back there again.

    Well here we go. At work , another 12 hour day feeling like >>>> but I'm here. Last night was'nt to bad was able to catch some zzzz's.
    Seems like a bad dream going through this again. Keeping asking myself why, how, when and every other question.

    Still have cold like symptoms, watery eyes, runny nose but working on day four.

    My back pain is again severe. I have an a appointment tomorrow with the doctor and my second session of prolotherapy. I hope it works and reduces my pain. Its expensive, and my insurance does not cover it.

    Any way, please feel free to comment on my thread, I need your support. It really does help me through the day !

  17. #17
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Cib, just a quick post will be back tonight...Yea every Clean day is a good day... keep reading and posting we are all here to support you.... Stay Strong for Today...

  18. #18
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Today the back pain has been getting worse for me. I not only have pain in my back but down my legs. Ughhh ! I am praying that my second session of Prolotherapy helps m out tomorrow. The pain issue is the reason I'm back for the second time. It's strange to me that only the narcotics help reduce the pain effectively. The lye of opiates is sooooo two faced. Will keep posting. Keep a good thought for me tomorrow !

  19. #19
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Cib, Sorry your having so much pain. Hot baths and magnesium helped me. I can now promise you that as you rack up clean time you will in time find your true pain. I can empathize with what you are going through. I'm here to tell you that when I'm in severe pain one ibprophen works..can you believe it this is from experience I was taking over 1000 pills a month for pain. I still can't believe I put all that Garbage in me..I'm still alive and here to tell it gets Stay Strong for Today...

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    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    [QUOTE=TheCib;536525]Good morning Living...

    Again, thank you for your words of encouragement. Yes I was attending NA meetings prior to my fall in the shower. Will have to make time and get back there again.

    Well here we go. At work , another 12 hour day feeling like >>>> but I'm here. Last night was'nt to bad was able to catch some zzzz's.
    Seems like a bad dream going through this again. Keeping asking myself why, how, when and every other question.

    Still have cold like symptoms, watery eyes, runny nose but working on day four.

    My back pain is again severe. I have an a appointment tomorrow with the doctor and my second session of prolotherapy. I hope it works and reduces my pain. Its expensive, and my insurance does not cover it.

    Any way, please feel free to comment on my thread, I need your support. It really does help me through the day ![/QUOT
    E]

    Hi Cib
    Hope u start feeling better soon, I have a question... what is prolotherapy? Neve heard of that. I suffer from severe pain migraines neck damage nerve damage shoulder problems I get epidurals radio frequency injections and that's why I was put on the pain medication to begin with and since I'm attempting to get off stay off I'm interested in any kind of therapy they can help my pain that doesn't involve narcotics Or meds.

  21. #21
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Good morning,

    Just for today !

    I appreciate the advise on pain meds. I had my second session of Prolotherapy yesterday. 20 injections along my spine and yes it hurts ... lol

    From the way I have been walking they feel I need physical therapy. A lot of the pain is in my hamstrings and glutes.

    Anyway, starting day six and last night had mild RLS and the trots for the first time. I know gross. Still have a little flu symptom running nose and teary eyes but other than that going strong.I am not craving oxy's but rather wanting them to reduce my pain but knowing my addiction have to say no just for today.

    Again, thank you so much for following my threads. I cant believe how much hearing from a total stranger helps me out. On e addict to another I guess.

  22. #22
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Hey Autumn,

    In my case Prolotherapy is a series of injections along my spine that contain DGP, Saline, B12 Lidocaine and Procaine. The theory is that the injections help strengthen the joints that have been damaged. My MRI and x-rays show nothing needed for any type of surgery so here I am.

    I would go to youtube and check out prolotherapy. Now the real question does it work? This is my second session and not much has changed but have to start physical therapy because alot of my pain has ended up in my hamstrings and glutes (butt).

    I hope that helps you out a little bit. They have many types of procedures to help you out. Mine is strictly for me back.

    Just for today !

  23. #23
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Good morning,

    Day six has started for me and am glad I have made it this far. I know this has to be a life long agreement with myself to avoid opiates.
    Since this is my second attempt at breaking free of this addiction, I just ask myself why ? For me it is not so much for the high but the benefit of killing back pain. I had to ask myself would someone with back pain snort 30 mg oxys ? Maybe ? Then I called Bull**t on myself.

    I am 57 years old, working long days trying to keep my head above water. Then I had to ask myself what did you spend just to chase the dragon of killing pain. I did the math and the conclusion was I lost three years of retirement. Why would I put myself into such a bad position. Again had to ask myself that question. Again the same conclusion. I am an addict. Someone who knows that 1 pill is too many and 1000 is not enough. I think I said that right.

    Most of my physical issues of acute detox are on the way out. But for the first time in many years I broke down and just cried. It was not because of the money lost or having to brake free addiction but rather to ask myself to forgive me for living a lie. Addiction ! I am an addict.

    For many of us on this site using opiates has been for treatment of pain so severe that the was only one remedy or so we thought was opiates. What a lie we have told ourselves.

    So here I am on day six of acute detox for the second time. Reaching out to complete strangers for advice, help and comfort. I will beat this addiction and no it is not easy. I will survive and try and live the rest of my life free of addiction.

    To all of you I say thank you for your kindness and understanding. The truth for me is to take one day at a time and do my best to be clean and sober for the rest of my life.May god be with you and watch over all of you. I hope you can win your fight against this lie called addiction
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  24. #24
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Good morning,

    Well here we go day seven is beginning. A little RLS last night, had about 4 hours of good sleep and a slight full head are left. Thankful that I work long hours to keep my mind off of things. The symptoms on the second go around have not been as severe. Why ? Who knows. I am happy to be alive and well. Seems like I have more energy today which is a good thing. Just for today !
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  25. #25
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Starting day 8

    Rough night of sleep last night. Minor RLS again. The RLS did not start until day 3 which I thought was weird. My blood pressure is still a little high. Other than that I have another day in the books.

    I found a pain reliever called ketorolac that took away about 90 percent of my discomfort. I called in for a refill and my insurance company denied a refill due to the chance of a bleeding ulcer. So I called my doctor and he put me on diclofenac and cyclobenzaprine. So far no results from either of those meds besides an upset stomach.

    So there you have it. modern medicine.I read some of the labels of these meds and the side effects can cause more damage than what your current conditions are.

    Well, I have another 12 hour day ahead of me and on day 8 of sobriety. Just for today !

  26. #26
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Starting day 9

    How time flies when your having fun.... ugh !
    Feeling stronger today. More energy, cold symptoms about gone but Mr RLS is still hanging on.

    As I begin this second journey of sobriety and as the fog is slowly lifting, I know I have to reach deep down inside and continue my current path. For the first time mentally I wanted to use and snort some oxys. Then the urged passed and that was that.

    The lie of opiates is a strong one. For me my use was for pain. But like the addict I am and the the lie of opiates I wanted more and more. Then the usage just spun out of control. There is the second head of the demon. The lie for me was to kill the pain which was true but my usage was had change my mind set.

    Is this a moment of clarity ?

    Day 9 wheeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Im proud of myself but the dragon is still around. Each day of sobriety brings a different mindset. Just for today I choose not to use !
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  27. #27
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Good morning,

    Today's forecast the fog has lifted and mentally clear. However, the storm name RLS just won't go away ! For the first time in ten days I awoke with no symptoms of acute withdrawl . My mind is clear and my senses (smell, touch, taste) are slowing coming back.

    I know most of the physical part of acute withdrawl are gone, no we begin with the mental issues. Im going to remain strong and just for today I choose not to use
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  28. #28
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Awesome forecast.... Stay Strong for Today...

  29. #29
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Default Day 14

    Feeling good today. Most of my energy is back. All symptoms of acute withdrawl are gone except for some minor RLS jerks. I am still amazed that two weeks has passed since my last dose of oxy.

    Now comes the mental aspect of addiction. I hope I can defeat all the demands that I have mentally to start using again. Yes, the dragon is still here and always be here.

    Had my second session of Prolotherapy and most of the back pain is gone.It's just the numbness in my legs that is still hanging around ( pinched nerve).So that is a good thing ! I still take a non narcotic muscle relaxer and a non narcotic pain reliever. Some days are better than others but will be starting physical therapy with in the next week.

    I hope all is well with all of you and that your journey takes you to sobriety. My best advice is to start going to NA meetings. They are the people who understand what you are going thru and will not judge who you on what you may or may not have done.

    PAWS here we come !

  30. #30
    TheCib is offline Member
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    Day 15

    I am surprised how well the non narcotic drugs are working after my body has been clean of oxy ! They don't take away a 100 percent of the discomfort but they do taper the pain.

    Starting day 15 free of any narcotics. The jitters do come and go a bit and the RLS just won't go away but I am feeling so much better than when I was using....almost human. The senses of touch, taste, hearing and sight have be going thru the roof. I guess it's one of the awards you get when getting sober.

    Just for today !

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