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Bi-polar daughter
  1. #1
    debi2453 is offline New Member
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    Default Bi-polar daughter

    My 22 year old daughter is bi- polar and won't go on meds because she is afraid that her babys daddy will try and get custody of her if she gets SSI and goes on meds. She has been kicked out of every place she has lived and fired from every job. I myself am on meds for severe depression and working hard to keep myself stable which I am. She is our daughter and I can not kick her out, but I'm so frustrated on what to do......please I need advice. Debbie

  2. #2
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by debi2453 View Post
    My 22 year old daughter is bi- polar and won't go on meds because she is afraid that her babys daddy will try and get custody of her if she gets SSI and goes on meds. She has been kicked out of every place she has lived and fired from every job. I myself am on meds for severe depression and working hard to keep myself stable which I am. She is our daughter and I can not kick her out, but I'm so frustrated on what to do......please I need advice. Debbie

    Dear Debi,

    Bipolar is a mental illness - and as long as she has it under control, it would not be grounds for him to gain custody. (If treated, it is no different from a parent with a physical illness.) But she MUST get it under control. She stands a much better liklihood of maintaining custody if she is ON the proper medication. He can certainly use her bi-polar diagnosis against her, if she is NOT treating it properly.

    Ironically, my daughter, age 22, is also bi-polar! She has been stable on her medication for a few years. There's no sign of any erratic mood swings or behavior, as it is well under control. Prior to this, she refused the meds - and she was completely unpredictable. She went through new jobs - and new relationships - every month, just doing some random impulse that sabotaged her success. Now, she's in a long-term relationship, and has been working at the same job for over a year, and loves it. The drama and mood swings are gone, thank God. Have hope!!!

    Do note that many bi-polar patients refuse to take the meds because they LIKE the manic episodes, and do not want to give them up. That could be fueling your daughter's choices.

    She needs to know that a mental illness that is being properly treated will not be held against her in family court, but an untreated mental illness leaves her completely vulnerable. Besides, her child NEEDS an emotionally stable mother!!!

    God bless,
    Ruth
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  3. #3
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Why would she need to be on SSI if her meds stabilize her so she can work? I'm really sorry to bring this up, but if you're treated for a mental illness and doing well the thing you need to do is to engage with society, not live off of society.

  4. #4
    debi2453 is offline New Member
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    I agree with you about not living off of SSI, but out of my own frustration I just need her to do something....We adopted her when she was 2 and found out later both bio's are bi-polar. That would not of changed our decision to adopt. Just maybe educated ourselves. She has been in treatment centers 2 times and attempted suicides 3 times. I JUST WANT HER TO DO SOMETHING.

  5. #5
    debi2453 is offline New Member
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    Thanks for your awesome advice, I'm going to save this and let her read it.

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