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How do you think?
  1. #1
    mrHaBa is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
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    1

    Default How do you think?

    my husband and i are still on methadone after 2 years and nearly $18,000(not tomention the gas,car maintence for an hour drive every day) numerous lost jobs due to the excessive lines and wait at the methadone clinic due to work not understanding. but in the first year or so it seemed like a miracle in the making, but after awile that gets old also. Yea anything is better than still being in the choas, when we were both still in the evil web, known as the dope game, but is there ever a point when you can get back to normalitity. i just feel like i want to be able to maintain, at least, a halfway normal life without being on drugs, both husband and i are so afraid of quitting MMT,cause of the fear of using again. my husband was an R.N. so we had easy acsess to alot of drugs, mostly, oxy's and morphine but you name it we have done it.at first, like with most addicts there are the excuses, and justification we tell ourselves why we were using, then it gets to the point where we literally had to have an 80 or morphin just to get out of bed and have some kind of motivation just to get the day started.. I just am scared of going back to that and so is my husband. we have both worked the 12-step, had in-patient and out-patient treaments, after him losing his nursing license and me losing my job as a STNA we finally realized we had to do something, so we found MMT. like i said at first it was such a relief of no having to chase, steal, cheat whatever else we could come up with to get drugs but still in the long run i feel like it is still using, he on the other hand doesn't. I have been ready to quit MMT for about 6 months now. but of course the clinic we go to feels that you should only lower yourself 2 mg. every 2 weeks. so let's see I take about 130mg. a day so I am looking at still a long time for me to quit. I have seen my newborn daughter have to go through the withdrawls for Methadone and i know they are horrific,(i didn't know i was pregnant when i started MMT, 3 months after starting MMT i found out i was 4 1/2 months pregnant), so if I would of quit then, i would have lost her. needless to say she is doing wonderful, now 16 months old. rather if i wouldn't have then, i would of had alot more to deal with. anyway i guess the point i am rying to make is is there anyone else who knows what i mean? i can't just up and quit all at once if so i would probably end up losing the job i have now, not being able to take care of my kids,etc..sorry for rambling but i just needed to get all that out. i just wanted to know if anyone else has been where i am and is just sick of it all. need to get back to normal whatver that may be... any info at all would be helpful

    thanks for taking the time to listen i am glad to know i am not alone in this evil thing we call addiction.. [quote}

  2. #2
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
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    USA
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    Default

    Hello mrhaba welcome to the forum.
    Ughhh yes I can identify all too well with all your going threw. Methadone is just God awful. I quit methadone prolly 200mgs a day cold turkey after abusing for many many years. My best suggestion would be to taper all the way down which I did not do and I payed dearly for it. I'm 19 months clean off the garbage and grateful everyday. Going cold turkey was my choice because I just could not taper I have no self control. But doing it that way shocked my body you can read my thread if you dare but know I'm free from the junk so every painful moment of my journey has lead me to living and enjoying life clean. Let us know what your plan is moving forward we are all here to support you. Again welcome to the forum...

  3. #3
    froggy_069 is offline Member
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    Nov 2017
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    Pennsylvania
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    Default

    Hi mrhaba, and welcome to the forum!

    I'll start by saying that I know EXACTLY what you are going through. My opiate addiction was monster sized and not in a pill form. I know the feeling of sheer desperation to be free of the habit and the to have a sense of normalcy in your life without being a slave to the junk. There was always such an overwhelming sadness and hopelessness because I felt like I sold my soul to the devil and i was trapped in an endless circle that was surely hell. MMT was good for you to get way from the junk but you still feel trapped, no? Liquid handcuffs! Your suggested taper seems low and slow. I'm not sure how much control you have over your taper but if it were me I would be working down enough to be able to make the switch to suboxone. At least with the subs you can regain a bit more freedom in your life. No more waiting in line and such. You can decide when you switch if you would like to keep using it as maintenance or eventually taper down and be done with everything for good. I personally think you have many more options with the subs.

    I have to cut it short for now but please keep posting with questions, comments, concerns, or just to vent if you need to.
    Beefaroni7272 and Catrina like this.

  4. #4
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    5,139

    Default

    Welcome!

    I completely agree with Froggy. Your methadone dose is high and the rate of tapering is dreadfully slow. It's completely possible to make the switch to subs and I would encourage you to do that. You would need to find a certified sub doctor and hook up with him/her. Then instead of following their instructions, we can help you make the switch in the best manner. I won't go into that now but if you do decide to do this, we'll certainly be here to help. Just know that the first step to making the switch will require that you stop the methadone for a period of time and allow yourself to go into full withdrawal before you begin to take the subs. That's the toughest part of the switch but once you are ready to begin your induction on the subs, you will get relief in a matter of hours. Like Froggy said, instead of having to deal with the travel and lines at the methadone clinic every single day, you will be able to have a monthly appointment with your sub doctor and get a script. Tapering the subs can be done in a much shorter period of time and people report that it's far easier than tapering the methadone.

    Let us know what you want to do and you'll get the best advice, instruction, and support possible. Lots of awesome folks around here.

    Peace,

    Cat

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