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I need some support from people that knows what it’s like
  1. #1
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Default I need some support from people that knows what it’s like

    Ok so I’m new to this website and read other people’s stories and wanted to tell mine. I’m a 27 year old male I started oxy and morophine when I was 18 became highly addicted fast. For 5 years I struggled with opiate addiction. I lost a lot of good things going in my life. After 5 years of the struggle I found the suboxone program and started and it felt like a life saver. My doctor started me on 24 mg’s!!! I had no clue howhigh of a dose it was til I started reading these forums. I got a job at a traveling construction company and quicky moved up the ladder where I am now a top foreman. The 24 mgs of suboxone started to not feel like enough after the first year so I started drinking every night. I drank 8-12 beers a night for 3 years. On my 4th year of 24 mgs of suboxone, after ruining multiple relationships, developing a social anxiety so severe I couldn’t control, having no social life what so ever i secluded my self for so long I had no one left besides my parents and girlfriend. The start of my 5 th year I decided to taper down. It took a whole year but I quit drinking and tapered down to around 1-2 mgs a day (which I thought was very little til I started reading these forums) I still cut up the 1 mg n had 3 doses a day. I took the last suboxone last Tuesday I was so sick I underestimated the w/d of sub. and made it 2 1/2 days before I found a 1 mg slice that I had forgotten about I split that into 3 pieces n made it last 3 days. I didn’t have the strength to flush it. So yesterday was my last official day. Keep in mind I travel for work and am on the road as I do this w/d and none of my guys know what I’m going thru. I haven’t been helping out Bc I haven’t had the energy I been so used to doing 12-15 hours no problem on the sub now I have trouble working 1 hour before being physically n mentally tired. I slept ok last night I’m getting tired super early n nothing interests me. I’m lucky to have the support of my gf who is 100% behind me. But this is all so hard doing it on the road with all the responsibility of my job on my shoulders. Some hours I wanna give up other hours I feel good. N I have a good feeling the worst is yet to come I try not to be so depressed while being on the road but it’s really hard. It has def helped reading some of the success stories. I just want this more than anything n life and can’t really turn back now. Thank u to those that have read this thus far

  2. #2
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey cwright. Welcome to this amazing place. Here you will find support and non judgmental help on your journey to getting clean. My story is very similar to yours. Massive amounts of oxy for a few years, then 16mg/day of subs for five long years. When I finally got ready to quit I tapered over 6 months to 1mg/day. I thought like you that that would be enough. Boy was I wrong. Subs are strong and with the long half life they stay in the body for a long time. I didn't know what I was in for and I stumbled here on day 11 with brutal w/d. What I found was a bunch of recovering addicts who took me under their wing and helped me get to where I am now at 2.5 ish months clean. It was a brutal rollercoaster with lots of ups and downs. But it was the best thing I have ever done in my life. I also had to work every day through my w/d. So believe me I know about the fatigue and everything you're going through.

    You sound like you have just the right mindset to get this done. There is no magic pill to make you feel better I'm sorry to say (we all have looked) But there are several things to help you on the journey.

    1.) Stay active and moving around!!!!!!! Working through my w/d was probably the best thing that happened to me. It forced me to be active and get those endorphins moving. I know it feels like it's impossible but it really helps.
    2.) Stay hydrated!!! Water and Gatorade are your best friends. You'll get dehydrated and it will help your body flush out the garbage.
    3.) The thomas recipe for opiate withdrawal. You can google it. I cant drop a link on my phone. I wouldnt recommend the benzo unless youre taking one under a doctor's supervision. Everything there will help you on the way!
    4.) Imodium!!!! It was a life saver for me. Liquid form as directed, it will save you.
    5.) Get on here and let it all out, it really helps. Therapeutic in a way.

    I'm sure others will be by in a bit to give you some more advice and encouragement. And I'm sure there are several things I have missed. Just wanted to say again welcome and you couldn't have found a better place!!!

    We are all here for you!

    Beef
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  3. #3
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello cwright welcome to the forum. Congratulations.. Wow 24 mgs.. let me say proud of you for tapering that far. Beef has given you awesome advice and suggestions moving forward. This is going to be one of the hardest and best things you will do for yourself I promise you Life clean is amazing. It takes time for our bodies and brain to heal from all the garbage we have put in. We didn't get here in one day so it takes Time. You sound strong I believe you have an awesome Mental attitude to get it done my friend. Stay active,stay hydrated, Keep reading and posting we are all here to support you..
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  4. #4
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Wow guys can’t thank yal enough, it feels good to know I’m gonna have people to help me thru this. Subs r such a strong medicine n the doctors just give it out like it’s candy it’s a money thing I think. I will be posting daily updates. Congratulations beef on the 2.5 months that’s got to feel good and thanks for the tips I have some multi vitamins along with melatonin n something that’s supposed to help with the restless legs and I will look into the Thomas recipe. Can’t thank yal enough. Good day and god bless

  5. #5
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Lots and lots hot baths... have a wonderful night...
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  6. #6
    Stopplaying is offline Junior Member
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    Hi CW,
    Thumbs up to you for tapering to 2 mgs. I could never do that. I had once gone thru a controlled taper off Methadone: 80 mg in 21 days and the last days were a XXXX. I am going thru wds myself and like you I have to maintain at work. I am a Senior Engineer and people look up to me and I have to be on que all the time and it's freaking hard.
    People above gave you some good advice. I'll just add: you could use some Immodium for a few days, like no longer than a week and do a rapid taper off that. It helped me immensely during my wd from Norco 10/325. The key is to find a stable dose, where you can function with minimal wd symptoms and then rapidly taper yourself. This should help you thru the worst few days.
    Keep posting man. I know it helps me to get it out there...
    --SP
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  7. #7
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello cwright just checking in on you today how are doing?
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  8. #8
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    I am not good I slept a few hours which I was thank ful but woke up beet red. My motivation is down even from yesterday but I talk to family and my gf over the phone n feel better. I know it’s temporary but it’s just hard I’m 9 hours from home n won’t be there for 3 or 4 days. Thanks for checking up on me I’m trying to stay positive. The only w/d I really have is the crawling skin and depression issues. Hopefully day4 is better. Good day

  9. #9
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey cwright Everything you are feeling and going through is all normal part of the process. It's how we handle it all staying in a positive mindset is key I know you probably saying I have no idea how you feel right now but I do been there yes it's awful right now but I promise you this will pass in time. So just keep doing the next right thing. I whined and complained about everything here believe me it helps so keep reading and posting we are all here to support you.

  10. #10
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Just giving a update last night I drove from Houston to 4 hours north n felt great doing it. Slept 7 hours last night which was awesome woke up in a good mood it def is a good day so far for day 4. Only w/d symptoms I feel so far is the skin crawling n a lil lack of motivation but def better than yesterday. Yesterday had me wanting to give up but today I have a totally different mind set. Thanks for the kind words LVg nightmare! Have a wonderful day all
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  11. #11
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Keep it up only gets better my friend...
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  12. #12
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey CW. So glad you had a good day and some sleep too!!! Does it get any better than that??? Lol. Anyways, just like lvg said it only gets better. Keep that positive mindset!! You'll have good days and bad days. It's really important to hang on to those good days. I would keep reminding myself of why I'm doing this in the first place. You're doing great!!! Keep your head up and keep on truckin'. Stay active, stay hydrated!

    Keep doing the next right thing!!
    Beef
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  13. #13
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Day 5: slept all night besides 2 hours. Woke up n a pretty good mood I feel better than yesterday. I’m still a lil fatigued but I keep taking my vitamins n going at it. A lil skin crawling but not bad things r starting to look up even more I’m gonna try n go home tomorrow night so we will see how that goes! Thanks beef I appreciate I get tired at times but I have a totally different attitude. The social anxiety is going away and my face is filling in a lil. I don’t wake up n a fog like I always did on the sub. Yals support has def worked thanks so much n have a great day all

  14. #14
    Stopplaying is offline Junior Member
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    Congrats CW, but please don't forget what got you to this forum. It seems like you are almost on the other side. Please go to AA/NA meetings and gym as these will help you to STAY clean. I was addicted to H for 7 long years and it was pure hell withdrawing from that. I managed to stay clean for 9 years thru AA, so I can vouch it definitely helps.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-12-2017 at 04:19 PM.
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  15. #15
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey CW. Glad you're doing better. Anxiety, fatigue and depression, we all know them well. Lol. Just know that it's all part of the process. It gets better with time, just like everything else in this journey. Keep on going, you're doing a great job!!! Keep moving, stay hydrated, I found meditation works with the anxiety. Just found a quiet place and tuned everything out for 20 mins or so and focused on my breathing. (I work with some idiots. Lol) Keep that positive mindset my friend!! It helped me so much during my detox. Proud of you!!!

    Keep doing the next right thing!!!
    Beef
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  16. #16
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Hey guys just giving a update thanks for the kind advise SP and beef. I am usually on the road 250 or more days of the year so I’m gonna have to stick to this maybe I can do a few NA while I’m home. But so far so good today I slept 6 hours last night felt pretty good same fatigue but not bad! It gets a lil better everyday. I can feel this website along with a positive attitude is really working. As far as excersize my job is pretty good about that lol I go home with my whole body sore. But I’m gonna keep at it keep reminding myself why I’m doing this. The good and bad days I can’t thank yal enough for the great advise and guidance. Beef I know how u feel bout working with idiots. But I’m still making steps in the right direction. Everyday getting a lil closer to where I wanna be one day! Yal have a great day thanks again for the guidance!

  17. #17
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Hey guys just updating how I’m doing today is Day 9 and pretty much everything u guys said is spot on. Luckily I’ve been super busy and ain’t had a lot of time to sit n think but the skin crawling is starting to go away lil by lil. Seems like the fatigue is still lingering around but it’s getting byetter I know I got a while to go before I’m where I wanna be but I’m still moving in the right direction. My attitude is way better and I wake up in a good mood. Sleep is getting better too but still not great. Overall I couldn’t be happier bout making the leap and I encourage anyone else that wants to quit sub to just do it. It’s worth it. Everyday gets a lil better n I will look back in 5 years n thank myself for doing. Thanks to everyone that’s took the time to read and give me great advice it has all helped I know it’s still a long road to go but it’s definitely worth it. Take care
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  18. #18
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey CW. The ups and downs are typical right now. Just keep that positive mindset and know it's only temporary. Some days good and some not so good. Sometimes it feels like you're spinning your wheels or moving backwards. Just know it will get better with time. Keep doing what you're doing. It's a slow gradual process and you're doing amazing. Take things as they come, one day at a time. You got this. Proud of you my friend.

    Beef
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  19. #19
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Thanks beef. Day 12 here. Still feeling tired n fatigue thru out the day I sleep a lot at night but I stay pretty busy everyday. I’m eating more than ever n i don’t get sick every meal now only the unhealthy ones lol. Still progressing but very slowly. The depressing feeling of not wanting to do anything is getting old but I’m keeping at it I still feel better than when I was on the sub. I hope by day 30 I’m back to normal ( I honestly don’t remember what normal is it was 10 years ago) but so far I’m making it pretty good I finally got a couple days off for Christmas then I’m back to work. I’m really thankful for my life right now tho off the sub. My girlfriend has been amazing thru all this I’m a lucky guy. Hope everyone is well marry Christmas to all

  20. #20
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    How's it going cwright, update when you can...
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  21. #21
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Hey lvg it’s going ok! Thanks for asking. Day 14. 2 weeks can’t believe I have made it this far. It hasn’t been easy but I think I’m still going strong. The skin crawling still is around a lot. I sleep pretty good knock on wood I’m gettinh 5-7 hours a night. Been staying active. It’s really hard to get going tho the fatigue is no joke. Doing family Christmas stuff this week but back to the road tomorrow. I should be home for Christmas morning then back out Christmas afternoon. Which is rare for me to be home Christmas morning I’m thankful for that. I love this place the support of u guys has really helped me thru this and I can’t thank yal enough. I’ll be really happy when I get my energy back and some motivation but all n all I’m really thankful for where I’m at with my life n career. Hope everyone has a merry Christmas thanks for the thoughts

  22. #22
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey CW. Congratulations on 2 weeks!!! Some may say it's a drop in the bucket but we know better. Quite a feat!!! Motivation, fatigue, and for me chills, and sleep were the symptoms that hung around the most. Some days it didn't feel like I was going anywhere. Just spinning my wheels. It gets better, I promise. Good days will come and bad days will happen less frequently. Everything you're feeling is normal, and it gets better with time.......... unfortunately that is the only thing it takes time and it's a gradual process. You're doing an amazing job my friend. Keep that outlook!!! Hope you have a great Christmas!!! Keep us posted on how things are going with you!!!

    Proud of you!!
    Beef
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  23. #23
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello CW, Proud of You.yup this too shall pass I can promise you Life clean is awesome. Takes Time my friend. One day at a time...
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  24. #24
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Thanks guys yal r awesome! Excuse my southern lingo lol.im on day 15 and things r still doing good I go back to work today. Life is awesome off this stuff I wish I would have done it before. I have read a lot of stories bout how people had a lot of trouble sleeping all night n thank fully it hasn’t been so bad for me. I’m pretty high strung n can’t just sit around my house all day maybe that has something to do with it idk. I can feel everything getting better lil by lil, day by day. I’m gonna keep in touch thru out the whole process. I hope everyone has a great Christmas u guys have helped me a lot.
    Thank u
    Merry Christmas

  25. #25
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Just wanted to pop in and wish you Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays. Hope your time with the family is amazing!!!

    Beef
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  26. #26
    Forceout is offline Member
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    Hey CW,

    That is such a great report, man!! I feel great off the junk too! Day 43 for me. Ain't it great. Wow!!

    So much better! Deep breath. Happy. And happy for you my friend. Have a good holiday. I'm in Texas so I understand the lingo fine. Lol.

    Forceout
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  27. #27
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Thanks beef merry Christmas I’m proud of u. Awesome on 43 days forceout keep at it. Life is awesome off all the junk who woulda knew. I live in Arkansas but I work in Texas more than anywhere. But day 17 Christmas Eve n I still
    Feel good and living clean. The chills r getting better the slowest progress is the motivation at work I’m really lucky I’m the boss n don’t have to do a whole lot besides have lots of responsibilities on my shoulders. But again merry Christmas to all and god bless!!
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  28. #28
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Day 22: hey guys sorry I have not updated n a few days it’s been crazy. But everything is still going great. Everything is getting a lil better still. The worst thing for me now is low motivation and a little anxiety. But both things r still getting better. My sleep is still going good I wake up sometimes really early n can’t go back to sleep, but I’m thankful to wake up clear minded n off the subs. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and has a happy new year god bless and take care
    Cw
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-29-2017 at 09:07 AM. Reason: Typo
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  29. #29
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    I know you've heard it a bunch but it's all normal. The longest lingering symptoms for me were sleep, depression and fatigue. You're doing amazing and very soon the last of these pesky symptoms will be behind you. Hope you had a great Holidays!!

    Proud of you
    Beef
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  30. #30
    cwright9999 is offline New Member
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    Day 30: Im feeling a lot better. It’s crazy the difference from 15 days to 25. Life is going pretty good I haven’t had any time off of work tho I’m ready for that. My relationship with my girlfriend has gotten way better. My energy is slowly coming back. One thing is, it seems like I’m a lil depressed. Other than that I sleep pretty good the restless legs come back every once in a while but it’s never that bad. The anxiety that the suboxone gave me has pretty much gone away it comes back at times other than that my life is 100 times better now than on the suboxone. I can’t even believe I’m here this many days off the sub but I am, I gotta keep at it tho. Can’t thank u guys enough for all the good advice n helping me thru the hard days. I hope everyone has a great day
    God bless

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