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Methadone withdrawals...I need support
  1. #1
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Default Methadone withdrawals...I need support

    Hey! I'm on day 6 of methadone withdrawal and I'm in absolute agony. Here's a little of my back story. From the age of 20 , I've always seemed to love any uppers. Whether it was coke, opiates, even meth. I dabbled in those for several years but never felt like I just had to have any of them to function. Well fast forward to when I was 30. I had a husband, 2 kids, worked full time and was always exhausted so I started taking hydrocodone and that made me feel amazing! It started taking more and more to feel good so someone I knew had methadone, so I decided to try some of that instead. Worst mistake! I've now been currently taking methadone for 7 years on a daily basis. I've wanted to stop and tried a few times but the withdrawals were awful and I always started right back.I want nothing more than to recover! The person I got it from passed away in January (she was a very close family member and the only person who knew I was taking anything) So now here I am, going through the worst feelings I've ever had and I don't even have anyone to talk to about it. I'm scared to tell my husband, so I've basically been faking the flu which is only going to cut it for a few more days. I had tapered my dose down to 10mg and then went to 5MG for 2 days then jumped off. I just need advice and support. I feel so alone and so awful. I've been taking dpla, ibuprofenand Immodium but none of that is really helping. I just want to feel better and recover from this God awful drug that has basically stolen my life for the last 7 years.
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  2. #2
    ChiefChe is online now Senior Member
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    Default Welcome!!!

    Hi Feelingit-

    Welcome to the Forum- so happy you made it! I don't have any experience with methadone so I can't really offer any solid advice. Others with experience will be by so hold tight.

    I just wanted to stop by & let you know that your not alone. I do have plenty of experience with w/d, unfortunately but fortunately. Make sure your drinking lots & lots of water to flush your system & getting vitamins & supplements in you. Do you know about the Thomas Recipe? I have no clue how to drop a link but it can be Googled.

    This won't last for forever, even thou it might feel like it, so keep powering thru. If you want this bad enough you WILL have it!

    Just know you are not alone when your in here. Use this thread to document your journey so you can see how far you've come. Congratulations on making it this far!!!

    Luv & Light,

    ❤️
    Che

  3. #3
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Thank you! I have read The thomas recipe and as soon as I get up enough energy I'm going to get the supplements. I do have a few Xanax to take when the restless legs and twitches start. I'm trying to keep those to a minimum though but they have helped tremendously. I am only sleeping about 3 hrs a day and it's miserable. I'm determined to kick this addiction though. I knew the wd would be bad but not this bad! I literally can't do anything except lay around. We're also in the process of moving and my husband is getting aggravated that I am not helping, but I literally can not do it physically. Who knows how that'll play out. I considered telling him what is really going on but I'm scared he will leave and so I'm trying not to. Thank you for responding , it's good to know I'm not alone. This is so miserable and scary!

  4. #4
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello feelingit, welcome to the forum. Ughhh methadone is a beast. I went cold turkey off massive amounts God awful. This is one of the hardest and best things you will ever do for yourself. I'm almost 16months clean and just free from the chains. Was it easy no I felt like I was going to die but I'm here clean today. This forum saved my life I was all alone. Keep reading and posting complain we are all here to support you. Drink plenty of water helps rid the body of all the garbage we put in. You definitely don't want to get dehydrated. Vitamins bannanas light diet Gatorade and liquid imodium ibuprofen that's what worked for me. Keep me posted we are all here to help you through your journey.. Again welcome...
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    ***Stay Strong for Today***

  5. #5
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Thank you! Congrats on almost 16 months clean. I pray I get to say that in 16 months myself! You are so right about methadone being a beast. Here I am, almost 11 at night, I'm tossing and turning, wiggling my legs like crazy and feel like I could crawl out of my skin. I'm so tired but there's no way I'm able to sleep. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I took a sleep aid and it hasn't helped much at all. Baths and showers seem to help but mainly only when I'm in it, and since no one in my family knows what's really going on I can't take 10 baths a night lol. I'm just taking it minute by minute. This is the worst pain and the most uncomfortable I've ever been. I pray I never have to go through this again. This afternoon was rough, I felt desperate and it took every single thing in me to not call someone and get something. I was to the point I didn't care what it was. Coke, pills, meth any of it would've worked. BUT I DIDN'T! So I was proud of that. Although I'll admit I've been thinking about all the other drugs I used to do a lot more these last few days which is scary too. Prayin for better days. I know they're coming, I just hope I'm strong enough to get there. Thanks again for the responses!

  6. #6
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey feeling it everything you are feeling and going through is all normal. Plenty of baths with Epsom salt. Did I say drink plenty of water.... Hang tough I know just how painful it is, it's just our body screaming for the drugs. You can do this you are stronger than that little pill. Keep posting here to support you. Believe me no one whined and cried more than me. Have you looked into getting face to face support Na Aa counseling thearpy it helped me deal with all you going through. One addict helping another. Keep reading and posting we are all here to support you..
    ***Stay Strong for Today***

  7. #7
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Yes, I've been drinking Gatorade and water as much as I can. AS for NA , I think I'm going to go to a meeting this coming week. I need to find one that is during the day while everyone in my home is either at school or work. I live in a very small town so I may have to drive a bit to get to a daytime one but that's ok. I just hope I have the energy to get up and get dressed and ready. I used to go to AA and NA meeting when I was a kid with my mom (she was also an addict and alcoholic but was in recovery for 20 yrs before she passed away) but I still don't know what to expect or what to do. I can't really remember what they did as I usually sat and colored or would read. So I guess I'm kind of scared of that too. >>>>....I'm not used to having all these scared feelings and emotions. The drugs have numbed me for so long and now it's like I cry if I drop a pencil. Last night was another rough one. I bet I rocked a million miles in the recliner at about 20mph! My legs are so sore and Immodium is my best friend right now. Absolutely no energy and that really pisses me off because the energy the methadone and previous drugs I did are what I loved the most. I made it through another night though and here's to making it through another day!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-24-2018 at 09:52 AM.

  8. #8
    Tko500 is offline Banned
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    Feelingit76 I think it is pretty amazing that you stayed strong and did not relapse on your day 6. Such strong will and determination. Lvg gave good suggestions. I too just started methadone detox, i am only 30 hours in thou, so u are a bit ahead. I stocked up on a bunch of water, herbal tea, high protein food, kale and spinich for "smoothie" type drinks if my appetite is diminished. Epsom salts and ginger for the baths. Yoga and meditation as well music videos from my formitive years (80s and 90s) lots of walks and netflix and this forum for distractions. My wife and boss are aware, but my children are not. So i too have wondered how to explain sudden hot baths during the night.
    Your body knows how to heal, it just needs some proper nutrients, water and time. (This is if you are otherwise healthy I am not presuming). Every hour and everyday is a milestone. Be proud. You have accomplished what many are afraid to face, just keep up the good work. Hopefully the time for both of us will be less than average!

  9. #9
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Thank you Tko500! Congrats on deciding to stop this nightmare of a drug! Not gonna lie...It's definitely the worst I've experienced but I keep looking toward the day I can say I MADE IT! I'm clean and then I know the real work of staying that way will come in. Before methadone I was always taking something to pick me up. I've always craved that huge energy burst so I have to figure out how I'm going to stay clean once I kick this. Yes, I'm in good health (to my knowledge lol) other than the drugs. I didn't even think about getting stuff to make smoothies! That is a great idea because my appetite has went to nothing since I started this. I've ate a sandwich and a few bites here and there of fruit and a few bites of soup. I've been taking a multivitamin though too. I go back to work Wednesday after having a week off so that's scary...I have to walk a ton at my job so I hope I have the energy to power through. I have been terrified of these withdrawals for so many years and that's 1 reason I've stayed on it so long but I've never came this far so I'm hoping and praying it sticks this time. We can do this!! We are stronger than this drug! Keep me posted on your progress!

  10. #10
    Tko500 is offline Banned
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    Feelingit76, i too have been a methadone most likely longer than I should have for fear of the withdrawals. I just remembered the hell of H detox and also Oxy and such. At that time I was living the party and was living the highest of high feelings, and of course felt the soul crushing lowest of lows when detoxing. That memory kept me thinking "Ill come off in time, no rush"
    This is my first and last time detoxing off Methadone. So my only guidance for what to expect is reading other peoples accounts and journals. I am only 34 hours in, but am still happy I finally stepped off. I too was on it 7 or so years, started at 160mg a day, and on my own weaned down to 2.5mg every morning with coffee.
    like you I also have a job that is physically demanding and keeps me moving almost always, so I feel your pain there. Nothing can be less fun than hiding symptoms and sweating at work. I hope that by Wednesday you are feeling better. your story has already helped me.I have read thru your post a few times already. Stay as strong as you can, and post here if you need to vent or to chat. There is quite a few people here that stepped of Methadone and were successful. It will be awesome if you too join that list of alumni!

  11. #11
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey! I hope you are all doing well tonight. Tko500 I hope you're still hanging in there! Last night and today was a rough one. I couldn't sleep much and each time I did it was only for a short while and I'd wake up drenched in sweat. I have had the cold sweats all day long and feel like I can barely do anything. I'm wanting to go to a meeting tomorrow, but I don't know if I'll be able to get up the energy to make it there. I had to get up and help my husband and kids move into our house and I swear I felt like I was going to die, but I pushed through...I swear I will be so glad when these feelings ease up. Everything makes me cry and that just sucks too. One thing I've noticed is I'm dreaming again (or at least remembering them). Up until a few nights ago I can't remember the last time I can remember dreaming while on methadone. Is this common? Here's to another day and hoping we all make another one.

  12. #12
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    When will this ever end? Worst symptoms today is I feel like I'm a million pounds (I'm 120lbs) , so exhausted, no motivation, just feel like hell. Also who in the world decides to jump off methadone right in the middle of moving???? This girl! I swear it's one of the dumbest moves I've made and God knows I've made plenty. I didn't have much of a choice though, I keep thinking I can go get something else to give me a boost but I know the road that'll lead me down...been there done that and I definitely don't want to do it again. I won't! !! Just needing some support today, I couldn't go to a meeting because my husband took off from work so we could finish moving....Hope everyone is making it through today. I'M taking it minute by minute.
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  13. #13
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Ohhhh sorry you are going through all this. I know it's awful down right suks but keep pushing I promise this too shall pass...
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    ***Stay Strong for Today***

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    Tko500 is offline Banned
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    Hey @Feelingit76 i am still here and still going thru the process. Got out of the house today and went for a walk too. That shows huge strength and determination to help your family move while not feeling great. Keep up the good work, you and your family are worth it. Hope your night gets better. I have read many accounts and generally they say it does get better and easier every couple days. I am cheering you forward.
    Tomorrow will be my 4th day since last dose i am at 80+ hours now.. step by step.
    As for going to meetings it is my experience that i didnt feel like going but usually was happy i did after the fact. A good meeting fills you with hope.
    Dreaming i feel is normal to intensify and become more noticeable after coming off an opiate. Less seditive effect, makes recalling dreams much more frequent. Hang in there feelingit76 and talk here all you can to pass the time! When you are able to of course!

  15. #15
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Wow Tko you rock...
    Keep up the good work my friend..
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  16. #16
    Tko500 is offline Banned
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    Thanks Lvgnghtmare, I appreciate the cheer!

  17. #17
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks both of you!! Tko500 that's awesome!!! So proud of you! This stuff is no joke! I've been super irritable, I literally just had a screaming cuss fit because I couldn't get my firestick on my TV to work then yelled at my husband then went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. It's like my emotions are on a rollercoaster. I am on day 9 clean and I haven't been able to say that for a very very long time!!!!!! One day at a time!!!

  18. #18
    Tko500 is offline Banned
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    Being clean 9 days is an amazing acheivement. It will give encouragement to many people still in the struggle, its proof it can be done. It makes me wanna copy you!
    Also i feel you are entitled to get pissed off over a fire stick that refuses to cooperate.
    The emotional roller coaster may be taxing but is necessarry. This is only my opinion but i have always felt.feelings have to run their course. Its how the brain evolves. Masking or numbing will only save feelings in a resevoir, and will still have be dealt with and felt eventually. The fact that you are all over the place with emotions, again in my opinion, is your brain healing it self or starting the healing process.
    I have been using music to evoke my emotions both happy and sad and laughter. I find it is helpfu.l its amazing how music brings us back to key feelings and momentz from our past. I kinda look at it like jumpstarting my emotions. Just my 2 cents.
    Your journey may be challenging, but it stands to reason that when you summit the mountain of this challenge, the reward will out weigh the trials and tribulations. Living life on lifes terms does give us rewards often...... thankfully.
    We just have to stay strong enough long enough to cash in on the rewards. To you @feelingit76 and to everybody kicking methadone i am proud to be counted amongst you!

  19. #19
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Couldn't have said it better Tko...
    ***Stay Strong for Today***

  20. #20
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Struggling hardcore today....
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    Tko500 is offline Banned
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    Not struggling alone thou. Whats up physical or mental or both? Tell me if you feel up to it.
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  22. #22
    ChiefChe is online now Senior Member
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    Hey FeelingIt,

    Stay the course my friend & power thru. You are currently doing what you thought you never could. AND, you're doing it while in the middle of a move! Go BIG or GO HOME- I like the way you think.

    I know methadone is a slower process but soon enough that lead suit you're wearing will lift & you won't feel so weighted down. Until then keep it one foot in front of the other.

    Luv & Light,

    ❤️
    Che
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  23. #23
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Thank y'all! It's been both mentally and physical. I keep thinking screw this, let me call somebody up and get something then I think no screw that. I'm still either crying or fussing about something...I don't want to but I can't help it. IT just comes out. My family is going to be so sick of me acting like this. Physically, I am still feeling wxhausted, I have the cold sweats but nowhere near as bad as a few days ago. The toilet and I have become best friends. I think the worst is the no energy at this point though....I've always craved that speed high. Thanks to both of you for checking in and making me feel I can do this! Tko500 how are ypu feeling today?
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  24. #24
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey feelingit it's all normal I promise this too shall pass I can honestly tell you that I've been there... Methadone is a beast but you can do this. Exhausting sweating chills zero motivation just go through the process you may feel like your going to die but you won't I promise it's just the body and the mind screaming for the Drugs... Don't give up your well on your way free from the handcuffs. I'm telling you the best thing I have done for myself. Keep posting we are all here to support you...
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    ***Stay Strong for Today***

  25. #25
    Tko500 is offline Banned
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    @Feelingit76 i am survivng thru my 5th day since last dose. A tiny bit bored sitting home everyday but i am trying to stay busy. Drinking tons of water and herbal tea with lemon and honey. It just hit 50 and sunny here in NJ so i just went for a walk to get my body moving. And to be honest it does relieve some of the weight. Thank you for asking.
    I am sorry your struggling but anyday some a noticeable amount will lift off. You did say you feel better now than when you started. Progress is fabulous news. Its good you checked in. If you refrain from calling somebody or to get something, you will much happier. You dont want to lose all the triumphs you have made every 24 hours. You are in over a week already. Which is inspiring to me to say the least. I am still cheering for you and following behind. You are a hero! Soon your family wont have to keep dealing with ya, because you will be close back to baseline. If they knew what you are going thru, they would want you to keep stepping forward towards that finish line. I am presuming but im sure they will be thrilled when things settle. Keep up the good work!
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    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks! lvg nghtmare, how long was it until you felt you had some energy building back? Tko500 I'm super proud of you! 5 DAYS! That is awesome! We're going to keep on keeping on! I keep telling myself I can do this, I can do this. Methadone is NOT stronger than me!!!!
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  27. #27
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey feelingit everyone is different...
    Drink plenty of fluids get up get moving..
    Positive mindset.. Proud of you my friend...
    ***Stay Strong for Today***

  28. #28
    Feelingit76 is offline Junior Member
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    Woke up to a massive headache that I just can't seem to shake. I've taken ibuprofen, tylenol and a goody powder but it's only eased up a little. Other than that and the no energy most have my other symptoms have went away or aren't too bad. Tonight's the night I go back to work and I'm not looking forward to my 12 hr night shifts...oh well, life goes on. I did get out and take my daughter to softball practice last night and I did feel a bit better. So here's to 1 more day !
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  29. #29
    Tko500 is offline Banned
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    Hey feelingit, i too have had a headache for a few days, on and off. So far the only thing to help was a hot shower and trying to relax a bit. Meditation if you will. Hope your work goes well. Maybe the distraction will make things not feel as bad. Congrats also on your 1 more day!

  30. #30
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Good job keep going.. This too shall pass...
    ***Stay Strong for Today***

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