Results 1 to 10 of 10
Like Tree14Likes
  • 2 Post By MorphedOut30
  • 4 Post By Randy35
  • 2 Post By davepeerson
  • 2 Post By MorphedOut30
  • 1 Post By Catrina
  • 2 Post By MorphedOut30
  • 1 Post By Catrina
Need Help...Please
  1. #1
    MorphedOut30 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    5

    Default Need Help...Please

    I need help and encouragement. I need to get off this pill rollercoaster. I quit for a whole year, then got caught up again at the beginning of this year because of some stupid dental problems! I'm ready to just be done with it all again, but I just seem to be caught up in this stupid never ending cycle again, that I don't know how in the world to get out of.
    Beefaroni7272 and OKC-26 like this.

  2. #2
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,974

    Default

    Hey morphedout. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you're back on the rollercoaster. But don't worry. We can help you. Give us a little more background about what, and how long you've been using this time and at what daily dosege. I'm sure others will be by to offer encouragement and support. Im glad you found us. You couldn't have picked a better place than this.

    Welcome again and congratulations!!

    Beef

  3. #3
    MorphedOut30 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    5

    Default

    I started out on 1 OxyContin 20mg per day. Then for the past few months I've taken up to 90mg of morphine. I've been able to string together a couple days, and even 12 days clean recently, but always end up getting it when it becomes available again. I took one 30mg three days ago and for the past couple days only a half a 10mg Percocet each day when I couldn't stand the withdrawal anymore. Today I want to make it through the whole day without any opiates. I don't feel too bad this morning yet, except the normal depression of waking up knowing I don't have anything. I took a gabapentin at 4 this morning to get rid of the restless legs.

  4. #4
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    3,102

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MorphedOut30 View Post
    I started out on 1 OxyContin 20mg per day. Then for the past few months I've taken up to 90mg of morphine. I've been able to string together a couple days, and even 12 days clean recently, but always end up getting it when it becomes available again. I took one 30mg three days ago and for the past couple days only a half a 10mg Percocet each day when I couldn't stand the withdrawal anymore. Today I want to make it through the whole day without any opiates. I don't feel too bad this morning yet, except the normal depression of waking up knowing I don't have anything. I took a gabapentin at 4 this morning to get rid of the restless legs.
    Welcome to the forum, MorphedOut.

    Ah, the ole addiction rollercoaster. Yep, been there, done that. I also call it being on the hamster wheel. Ever hear the saying, "Nothing changes if nothing changes"? So, so true. You've tried things your way and haven't produced success. So you must try something different. Right?

    I'm going to give you the best advice you'll ever receive. And it not only comes from me, but from everyone that has built up some substantial clean time. First you have to cut off ALL ways or means of obtaining pills or other substances. If you get any from a doctor you need to inform that doctor you have a problem with pills and to never prescribe them to you again except for the most dire circumstances. You made the statement, "....but always end up getting it when it becomes available again" so I'm assuming you get some or all from dealers or friends/family. No judgement because I sure did the same. You have to inform all those people you are DONE with drugs and to never provide them to you again. Change your phone number if you have to. I had to move to another city once to avoid easy temptations. Drastic measures equals positive results in this case. I had dealers that just wouldn't stop hounding me to buy what they had. I eventually informed them the police were on to me and all those involved and that stopped all the calls and messages. Cutting off ways of getting drugs is paramount in this and every case.

    Secondly you cannot do this alone. Why would you want to when there is help available free of charge. I stepped out of my comfort zone and got myself into NA and AA support meetings. That face to face help is priceless! There's every excuse in the book not to go and I've heard and used all of them. But the reason you should go is to have someone in person hold you accountable for your actions. Go to some meetings and just sit and listen to what's being discussed. You don't have to utter a word unless you want to. No one will force you to speak. They all understand, they've been in your exact same shoes. You'll meet wonderful people in those meetings. You'll soon find a sponsor and be on your way to working the 12 steps to a much better life without pills consuming your every minute of the day.

    Besides NA/AA, theres also Celebrate Recovery, Smart Recovery, etc, and personal counseling. You just have to make the first move and go. You won't be sorry you did I promise. If the first meeting you attend doesn't seem a fit then try another, and another until you do find the right place. Took me several times before I found my home group.

    I spent about 18 years of my life chasing every drug on earth. Went the Methadone route (for years), then on to Suboxone. Got off that and will have 4 years clean in July. Never did I think I could be to where I am now. My life has turned from complete failure and as near death as one could get to what I would call a very successful and fulfilling life now. So if I can do it you most certainly can too.

    Here's the link to The Thomas Recipe below.....

    https://www.drugs.com/forum/featured...wal-35169.html

    This recipe has helped thousands deal with opiate wd and recovery. I would definitely leave out the Benzo's unless you're already taking them under a physicians supervision. They are highly addictive even when taken as directed. You don't need something else to get it's grips on you. Also pound down all the fluids you can to help flush out the toxins and keep you hydrated. That helps more than you might imagine. Protein shakes are also wonderful for a boost of energy. Theres many other vitamins and supplements many will recommend.

    I'm sure many will be here with help and support. This is an amazing place with truly Awesome people! Stick around, follow the suggestions given, and you'll be another success story.

    Randy

  5. #5
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    2,681

    Default

    Not much else I could add to what Randy just told you!! Read what he told you....and read it again!! I know it sounds very scary to cut off all ties.....but....you leave just one door open.....and.....???...If Your Really Serious about wanting to be free from this "BEAST"....Take Randy's advice! You Can Do this!!....It Sounds to me like your not at Really High levels, so...Now would be a Great Time to get OFF that wheel!! Good Luck My Friend!! Stay Strong Just For Today!!

  6. #6
    MorphedOut30 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    5

    Default

    Thank you all for responding! You're right Randy, I've been getting from friends and family lately. Before I quit for the year, I was getting as many as I wanted from a really "nice and caring" oncologist. I was hooked big time! It was extremely hard to detox, but I was able to do it with the Thomas recipe, and reading all the inspiring stories on here. Oh and I actually moved to a different town. I know my biggest mistake was not going to meetings, and thinking one here or there wouldn't hurt. After all, I would only take them for a day or two, and stop. It turned into more and more very quickly. I've been to AA and NA meetings before, for drinking and pills in the past. I know that's key. I have been really dropping my dosage over the past couple weeks (not by choice lol) so I actually don't feel too bad today. I'm thinking right now it's more of a mind thing more than physical, maybe, if that makes sense lol.

  7. #7
    MorphedOut30 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    5

    Default

    Day 1 went pretty good. Now if I can actually get some sleep tonight. I've learned the hard way that Tylenol PM during detox, makes restless legs 10x worse. So I'm on my own tonight. Today wasn't all that bad but I'm guessing tomorrow will probably be worse.
    davepeerson and Catrina like this.

  8. #8
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,142

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MorphedOut30 View Post
    Day 1 went pretty good. Now if I can actually get some sleep tonight. I've learned the hard way that Tylenol PM during detox, makes restless legs 10x worse. So I'm on my own tonight. Today wasn't all that bad but I'm guessing tomorrow will probably be worse.
    From my experience, my symptoms were never that bad on Day 1. Things began to kick in around 18 hours from my last dose. I would expect based on that that by now whatever you're feeling is nearly or at the worst it's going to get. Also for me, things didn't improve gradually but instead on Day 5, the RLS and aches abruptly disappeared. The sleep problems and bathroom trips hung around for longer. I trust that you're using Immodium. Did you get the liquid kind? That seems to work better. Try a strong cup of Sleepy Time Tea and use it to wash down some Melatonin before bedtime. It may induce sleep but if not, it should at least relax you a little.

    Hang in there. In the scheme of things, your daily dose didn't get out of hand too, too badly and you did get your dose down even more before you jumped so maybe (hopefully) you won't have too rough a time.

    Not to beat a dead horse, but are you going to try to get to a meeting? Not today. I'm sure you're not up to it. But over the coming few days do some research and find some meetings that you can go to and once you're feeling better in just a few more days, get yourself to one. I suppose we all resist them at first even though we know how beneficial they are but beat that notion down and just go!

    Keep posting to let us know how you're doing.

    Peace,

    Cat

    BTW, I never tried Tylenol PM but I read that benadryl helps with sleep. OH BOY!!! It sure didn't help me but instead had me jumping out of my skin. It made me sleepy but oh so jumpy on the inside. It was horrible. THAT was my lesson.
    davepeerson likes this.

  9. #9
    MorphedOut30 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    5

    Default

    Thanks for your words of advice, Cat. Last night I didn't do bad. I was surprised, I actually got a solid 6 hours. Today I'm comfortable. I definitely don't feel like jumping up and cleaning my house, even though it desperately needs it. I started the sneezing and coughing this morning, fun fun. Oh also, yes I have imodium, but I have the gel caps. They work well. The liquid sends me into sneezing fits lol.
    Ok. Meetings. I'm trying to figure out how to explain to my husband about why I'm going. He doesn't know that I've been taking pills. I wasn't married to him when I went to meetings before so I'm sure he will find it odd that out of the blue, I want to start going. Although he knows I had a problem with drinking and pills before, and used to go. I know I need to figure out something, because I know that meetings are detrimental to my sobriety.
    davepeerson and Catrina like this.

  10. #10
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,142

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MorphedOut30 View Post
    Thanks for your words of advice, Cat. Last night I didn't do bad. I was surprised, I actually got a solid 6 hours. Today I'm comfortable. I definitely don't feel like jumping up and cleaning my house, even though it desperately needs it. I started the sneezing and coughing this morning, fun fun. Oh also, yes I have imodium, but I have the gel caps. They work well. The liquid sends me into sneezing fits lol.
    Ok. Meetings. I'm trying to figure out how to explain to my husband about why I'm going. He doesn't know that I've been taking pills. I wasn't married to him when I went to meetings before so I'm sure he will find it odd that out of the blue, I want to start going. Although he knows I had a problem with drinking and pills before, and used to go. I know I need to figure out something, because I know that meetings are detrimental to my sobriety.
    Here's a thought. How about you talk to your husband and tell him that you're feeling the tug every once in awhile and that you want to begin to go to meetings. Just let him know that meetings are what kept you on the straight and narrow and you just want to reconnect with them again to be sure you don't do anything stupid. That might work. I'm sure he'll be pushing you out the door. I know both sides of addiction. I'm in recovery and my son is an active H addict. Let me just tell you that over the course of the years that he's been using and during any one of the number of clean spells, I would have been delighted to see him to to meetings even if he was clean. I'd have drove him there and bought the entire hall coffee!! Shouldn't even raise an eyebrow because you can say that you're just being proactive. Might work.

    Another option is to find one during the day. There are always meetings around lunch time so that folks can go on their lunch break. Might find one of those.

    Peace,

    Cat
    davepeerson likes this.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22