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Need to stop this vicious cycle
  1. #1
    Todd1976 is offline New Member
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    Default Need to stop this vicious cycle

    Ive been using percocets from 2008 till August of this year when I started taking roxicodone. I want to stop because its ruining my life. Ive tried to stop many times without success. I am currently taking two 15 mg roxicodone pills in the morning and the same dose 12 hours later. This is every day. Ive cold turkeyed many times in the past from the percocets and relapsed every time. I was taking three 7.5 percs in the morning and then at night. I seriously want to stop. Im scared to do cold turkey now because I guess my dosage is higher. I told my doctor about stopping this medication for awhile and he told me to taper at first. I tried but its hard. When I try to taper I always find that craving to take the regular amount. I just dont feel right. I have absolutely no willpower. On my last visit he gave me a script for suboxone and he told me I could be on that for awhile. I dont want to take it for over two weeks because i read from several people theyve successfully kicked their opiate habit after two weeks of suboxone taking the regular dosage during week one and then the second week taper down. Would this work? I also have fears about filling this script because Im scared my insurance company will flag me as an addict and I dont know if my employer would find out. And what if the suboxone doesnt work out and I need to take painkillers again. Will it prevent me from getting any again? Dont get me wrong, If I successfully get off this ???? I wont touch it again and I have a great plan for my recovery but what if I will need some surgery or my back gives out again bad and Im in excruciating pain, will being prescribed suboxone one time label me as an addict?
    Please guys and gals I need your advice and help. I need to turn my life around. Im tired of living like this. I feel myself dying everyday. Im depressed and have so much stress in my life.
    Please pray for me! I hope god will forgive me for this mess I have created in my life.

  2. #2
    mottam is offline Advanced Member
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    Default

    Todd:

    Welcome to the forum.

    Slow down for a minute and stop projecting.

    First of all - be careful when soliciting advice. You want suggestions given to you based on experience of those people who have gotten and stayed clean, one day at a time. My experience has shown me that advice based on opinion is absolutely worthless, and can actually be lethal.

    From my experience - I would stongly suggest to you that you look into some form of a recovery program.
    An addict alone is in very bad company.
    It was my personal choice to go to NA. Following some simple suggestions and developing some relationships with people who have substantial clean time has helped me stay clean, one day at a time. My DOC, like you, is/was oxy.

    If you want to turn your life around, if you want to have the obssession to use lifted, if you want to overcome those overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame, I suggest to you, based on experience, embrace recovery. I won't advocate NA, as it is a program of attraction rather than promotion.

    Seek your answers, your journey of recovery, and you will find it.

    Best of luck.

    Kindest Regards.
    mottam
    Persistency is consistency

  3. #3
    Todd1976 is offline New Member
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    Default

    I find it hard in my life to tell the difference between advice and suggestion. And recovery is part of my plan. I need help detoxing at home and then going to an outpatient treatment and going to NA. I cant do anything else because I have a job to keep and I need money and cant afford to take off from work to go detox at a center and then do inpatient.

  4. #4
    Anonymous Guest

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    Todd....
    I can only share with you what worked for me.
    I remember being in despair and not knowing what to do or where to turn.
    For me.....and this is what worked for me.....
    I walked into the door at NA in my hometown, scared to death believe me, and desperate.
    There I discovered I wasn't alone, I listened and learned and healed.
    I learned to live life on life's terms without the use of drugs.
    I felt at home there.
    Sometimes I would go an hour early and just sit on the porch because it felt safe for me.
    Usually someone else showed up also.
    My brothers found the same thing that worked for me at AA instead of NA.
    Other's have found it at other recovery groups.
    In my opinion subs are an overkill for the amount of opiates you are on.....cold turkey and immediate participation in a 12 step group would work just fine.
    You could go to a drug/alcohol counselor if you want.....I used to be one, and they will encourage you to participate in a 12 step group, I always did.
    Try just stopping and walk in the doors of the group of your choice...........
    as they say.......it works if you work it.......
    Saying a prayer for you buddy...
    ARTIST658 likes this.

  5. #5
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    [COLOR="#000080"
    ]DearTodd,

    I'm right with Mottam and ShadowWally - your best source of support and guidance is NA or AA.

    Suboxone is not what you need. It's also an opiate, and is harder to taper down and stop than the oxycodone. It's a longer and more complex process than you mentioned, anyway. In my opinion, suboxone is a 'last resort' method, and too many want to believe it's some kind of a 'quick fix' out of addiction. It is not. You will still have to experience withdrawal from suboxone.

    I, too, have been in your shoes. Yes, you can detox at home. Tapering is a problem for most of us with addiction. (Addiction signifies the loss of control, so 'controlling' a taper is nearly impossible!) Look at the Thomas Recipe on this site, and that will help with some of the symptoms. (Try to do it without the benzodiazepene drugs, as that's risky.) The worst is generally over in 4-5 days; it is not unbearable, but it is uncomfortable.

    The cravings are normal, early on. We simply do not act on them - and we get to a meeting. The #1 indicator of addiction is the mental preoccupation (cravings) to use the drug again. But with longer clean time PLUS a strong 12-step recovery program, cravings will become much less. The ONLY way we succeed is when we WANT recovery badly enough. There are millions of people who need recovery - but it's the ones who WANT it who stand the greatest chance at success.

    You can do this - and your life will improve.

    God bless,
    Ruth[/COLOR]

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  6. #6
    Todd1976 is offline New Member
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    Thank You everybody for your suggestions. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I was undecided about the suboxone route and now its a good thing what you guys have told me and I have decided to not go that way. Im going to start looking into NA and start working the steps. But im still undecided as to whether I should attempt tapering again or doing it Cold Turkey. I have heard of people dying from stopping cold turkey and since my amount increased I might be in that predicament. Im going to see a regular doctor on monday and talk about this. If I can go cold turkey Ill throw away my pills and take three sick days and tough it out.
    Thank you everybody for your help!

  7. #7
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Todd1976 View Post
    Thank You everybody for your suggestions. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I was undecided about the suboxone route and now its a good thing what you guys have told me and I have decided to not go that way. Im going to start looking into NA and start working the steps. But im still undecided as to whether I should attempt tapering again or doing it Cold Turkey. I have heard of people dying from stopping cold turkey and since my amount increased I might be in that predicament. Im going to see a regular doctor on monday and talk about this. If I can go cold turkey Ill throw away my pills and take three sick days and tough it out.
    Thank you everybody for your help!

    Dear Todd,

    Just to reassure you, you will not die from detoxing off opiates. I work in a long term substance abuse treatment center, so I'm quite familiar with the risks. There is a risk of dying from detoxing off some other substances (primarily benzodiazepene drugs, like klonopin, xanax or valium - as well as detoxing off alcohol). Opiate withdrawal does not carry that risk.

    As for tapering, I have a suggestion. Write down a specific plan for tapering - right down to what hour you will take what dose. Then give the pills to a TRUSTED family member or friend - and ask them to dispense them to you by this schedule. You have to be sure that person can stay very strong, regardless of what you say or do to try to manipulate them for more! And, needless to say, you have to be sure that these pills are NOT a temptation to that person, as well.

    This is about the only surefire way that I've been able to help others to taper before going cold turkey. An addict simply can not control a taper process.

    Feel free to make use of this forum to vent what you're going through... there's usually someone around to respond before long. You don't have to go through this alone.

    God bless,
    Ruth

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

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