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No trouble tapering - just can't make the jump!
  1. #1171
    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    Hello Randy

    Just wanted to add a congrats to you & your lovely bride!! You're starting such a wonderful & exciting journey and I wish you all the best!

    We all appreciate your wise words & generosity of spirit to share with everyone. It's very much needed on this forum & I'm glad you're here!

    Best wishes to you & your wife!
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  2. #1172
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Autumnhopes View Post
    Hello Randy

    Just wanted to add a congrats to you & your lovely bride!! You're starting such a wonderful & exciting journey and I wish you all the best!

    We all appreciate your wise words & generosity of spirit to share with everyone. It's very much needed on this forum & I'm glad you're here!

    Best wishes to you & your wife!

    Thank you very much for the very kind comments, Autumn. I really appreciate it!

    I did read some of your thread and I'm very sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis. I'm sure with a positive attitude and following your doctors advice you'll be fine. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

    Thanks again,

    Randy
    Autumnhopes likes this.

  3. #1173
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello Friends!

    Just thinking I would provide a little update. My life has completely changed (for the better) in the last few months. I've had time to reflect on my entire life, and my life today. Man, what a difference. A very big difference.

    On July 6th 2018 I celebrated my 4th year clean. And yes I'm proud of myself for that accomplishment. To think where I was 4+ years ago makes me shudder. I was in deep, real deep. Just a short recap.....I was taking so many different drugs I rarely knew what day it was, even what year it was. And I could have cared less. All I did every single day was wonder how I would get my next fix. Every ER knew me by my first name I visited them so often. Every personal physician I had dropped me as they should have. All the available dealers would seek me out first because they knew I would pay big $$$ for what they had. I was mixing opiates and benzo's regularly. I made a horrible choice to go to Methadone. Bad, bad idea. Spent years on that stuff and my doses rose to 200mgs+ daily. Made the switch to Suboxone and it without a doubt saved my life. And that brings us to day.

    I have a college degree. I have a great job with lots of responsibility. I have a nice home, car/truck, and plenty of good, clean friends. I stay busy playing sports and thoroughly enjoy that. I still spend time in both NA and AA meetings. I was married on June 9th to the most amazing woman ever. Her entire family adores me and I them. I'm the luckiest man alive. And now I would like to announce that I will be a father in the very near future. One of my greatest wishes has come true. As I said, I'm the luckiest man alive.

    I tell you all these things not to boast or "rub it in" to anyone. I say this to let you know you DO NOT have to remain in the trap of active addiction. You can get out and your life CAN change for the better. It can get much better than you may realize. Your wildest dreams can come true. Yes, you can do it! All it takes is one thing....

    You Have To Want It More Than Anything Else In The World. Period.

    Take care friends,
    Randy

  4. #1174
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Great update Randy!! Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you and the misses. Your story is absolutely inspiring. And you deserve this!!!

    You will be an amazing father. That I know for sure.
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  5. #1175
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Aww darling I'm posting with tears... Couldn't have happened to a more loving caring man that you are. You should be Proud of yourself Randy this addict knows that hard traveled road. You are absolutely right You have to really want this for yourself more than anything! Than and only than can we change.
    Thanks again for sharing your journey with all of us here I've told you before your thread was the first I've read here even though in the beginning when you said CT from the methadone was not possible and I was going to show you ha.. I really wanted it, your words here your experience were/are priceless my friend ty...
    Now not all of us can get a blood test meet Cinderella and live a fairy tale life so envious my friend lol no really how exciting a baby wow Randy can't even express how happy I am for you both. I am glad your still here darling as you have helped me you are helping countless others still suffering. Congratulations on 4 years would have loved to hear that share oh I guess you did.
    Thanks for all you do. Love you my friend...
    Randy35 likes this.
    ***Stay Strong for Today***

  6. #1176
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    Great update Randy!! Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you and the misses. Your story is absolutely inspiring. And you deserve this!!!

    You will be an amazing father. That I know for sure.


    Thank you, Beef. I appreciate the kind words. I'm very excited by the recent news!

    Hope you're doing well. I see you're planning a potential move to Florida? I hope everything works out for you.

    Take care,
    Randy

  7. #1177
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lvg nghtmare View Post
    Aww darling I'm posting with tears... Couldn't have happened to a more loving caring man that you are. You should be Proud of yourself Randy this addict knows that hard traveled road. You are absolutely right You have to really want this for yourself more than anything! Than and only than can we change.
    Thanks again for sharing your journey with all of us here I've told you before your thread was the first I've read here even though in the beginning when you said CT from the methadone was not possible and I was going to show you ha.. I really wanted it, your words here your experience were/are priceless my friend ty...
    Now not all of us can get a blood test meet Cinderella and live a fairy tale life so envious my friend lol no really how exciting a baby wow Randy can't even express how happy I am for you both. I am glad your still here darling as you have helped me you are helping countless others still suffering. Congratulations on 4 years would have loved to hear that share oh I guess you did.
    Thanks for all you do. Love you my friend...

    Hi Doll!!!

    Yeah, my entire story might make for a good book, or perhaps even a true-to-life movie at some point. Maybe I'll call Hollywood and see if anyone's interested. . If I haven't already lived it I might have trouble believing it.

    I remember well your first post here and you saying you were going to CT some ridiculously high amount (200mgs) of Methadone. I thought to myself....This chick has no idea what she's in for. Lol. She's going to think she found H*LL or worse than that. I thought: no way she's going to make it. But as you said you made me eat my words (and I'm very thankful for that) and you wanted it more than anything and found freedom waiting for you. To this very day I don't know or even heard of anyone doing what you have done. Kudo's to you girl. That's truly EPIC stuff!!! You're Amazing!!!

    I've told my entire story many times in NA and AA. I've had people gasping, some crying, and some shaking their heads in disbelief as the facts came out. I've shared some really crazy stuff, but when I got up and told how my last 4 years has been I was in tears by the end of my speech a couple of times. It hit me all of a sudden what exactly I had accomplished.

    And now to know I'll be a father soon is over-the-top for me. It really is. I'm already antsy and it's still very early in the pregnancy. What a thrill this will be, and what a life-changing event too! I'm more than ready though. And I'm completely Blessed to have what I have and will NEVER take any of it for granted.

    I hope things are good in your world. I know how hot it can get in Florida. Been there many times in the winter and summer and the summer can get absolutely blazingingly (is that a word?) hot and humid. I guess you get use to it mostly? I haven't forgot about that "procedure": you spoke of recently. Not sure what's going on but I wish you nothing but the very best and hope the outcome is as positive as it can be. Please let me/us know how you're doing/feeling. Ok?

    Thanks again for the wonderful words. So went of you....

    Randy

  8. #1178
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Dang I definitely would buy the book but you spoiled the ending.. Or the new beginning... I bet you were all choked up sharing you have me in tears but wow so great those tears are eh... Who knows maybe you'll be the main speaker at world some day!
    As far as the h*ll I went threw and I'm clean I want to share my personal experience with all reading it was absolutely the stupidest thing I did going cold turkey off methadone... Now having experience with the methadone you should absolutely TAPER.. The reason for the taper off methadone /subs is not to put your body and your brain into shock which is exactly what happened to me. I suffered endlessly. I now help others getting off the garbage and they all are or have tapered slowly off the junk and seem to have little withdrawals. I say this because I was so against tapering I had no willpower to do it but it's possible to do but why suffer needlessly. I do know you have to really want this for yourself this is a choice you have to make... I chose to live....
    Yes Randy it's hot here I'm originally from New York now I can make cookies on my dashboard... I'll never get used to it... As far as the procedure Im waiting on a specialist so I have more time to sit in my chit and think of all the negative cr*p.. I know it sounds awful but I'm actually not scared of the procedure or the outcome its the anesthesia as crazy as it sounds but my truth. I'm the one that thinks if I get a kidney from an anonymous donor prolly an addict would I have to change my clean date yep my best thinking didn't get me here eh... I feel ya rolling your eyes...

    ~much love always my friend
    ***Stay Strong for Today***

  9. #1179
    hopes1211 is offline Senior Member
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    Randy -

    First and foremost, congratulations on your four year anniversary. So very proud of you. I think I have been with you three of those four years. You need to most definitely need to write a book a book about your experiences. Pull excerpts from your experiences of your writings on here, will bring a lot to light to so many people you may not be reaching out to.

    I'll admit, there were times I held my breath with some of the stuff you were going through. In the the back of my mind, I thought he has been pushed to the very limit. I am so glad you worked and pushed so hard to show so man people it can me done. I took no expensive rehabs or fancy live in sober houses, it just took you wanting it more than anything. It goes to show you, money does not buy clean. Determination and wanting it does.

    Congratulations on the impending birth of your son or daughter. Over the moon, you are. You are being rewarded. Life is good. Always stay on this horse no matter what. I don't need to tell you this though, do I?

    Keep spreading the word. Don't go away. So many have. We need people like you to give hope. You, Cat, Lvg, Dave, Froggy, Beef, Silver--to many to count, but never too many.

    Again, congratulations on my friend.

    Hope

  10. #1180
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Randy!!!

    Congratulations! I am over the moon happy for you. I have been missing a lot lately dealing with my life which can be topsy turvy at times just like everyone but I do try to check in and read every morning. Just little posting on my part. My bad.

    Anyway--Good stuff just keeps rolling your way and you so deserve it. You worked for every moment of this. Never take a thing for granted. Balance. Don't forget balance. Be the wonderful husband and father that I know you will be, but don't every forget about your needs, your wants because they are important too. I of course don't know if this is a problem for you and I hope it's not! Just remind yourself how much you love to be needed and doing, your family wants that too but not after you've set the rules that you'll take care of everything. Don't be afraid to be needy sometimes. It's essential. If I had to pinpoint the biggest mistake I've made in life, I did the complete opposite. HUGE mistake, my friend.

    There. That's my advice for the new family man. Advice you probably don't need so call it a reminder. Love you!

    Peace,

    Cat

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