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Overwhelmed by a mound of doubt! HELP
  1. #1
    mgood22 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015

    Default Overwhelmed by a mound of doubt! HELP

    I am a new comer to any sort of forum and I'm looking to reach out and connect with those who may be in the same situation as myself.

    I am 24 years old and have been in a long term relationship with an addict. Over the course of our 4 year relationship he has used a vast verity of drugs on and off and has been incarcerated several times. With all aside, he never failed to show me how special I was to him and showered me with all the love his addicted heart could give me. Constant reminders of his appreciation and gratitude have always been given to my patient and understanding heart. As much as many would agrue that addicts cannot give love, I would agrue that fact and believe that there is always an exception to the rule, and his broken lost soul couldn't do much right than give me the kind of love I always dreamt of having.

    That aside, he recently has been building up to a life of sobriety. He has been to rehab several times in the past but had relapsed and feel back into the vicious cycle of his own addiction. I have enough knowledge about addiction to understand that the disease can not be and will not be cured over night. I am more than willing to love and support him during this search for sobriety but am having troubles with my own thoughts and emotions within myself. I was never aware of the serious trust issues that have recently been interfering with my happiness inside my relationship. I question everything he has to say as if I knew he was still using, which I had never done during his past attempts. The constant anxiety I feel over losing him to drugs once again has never felt so overwhelming. I point fingers and jump to conclusions making it harder and harder for us to connect. I have always been very open and as understanding as I could be to understand his struggle with addiction but recently my actions have been showing nothing but suspicion and distrust when his attempts have been sincere. He has been doing everything in his power to show me he is to be trsuted but i continue to squash every attempt he makes to comfort my broken trust. I am so scared that my scattered thoughts, emotions and constant attacks towards him are going to push him away but I am unable to comprehend how to handle and overcome the constant worry and doubt I'm feeling in relation to his sobriety. I have never been an anxious person in my life but these past few months I cant seem to shake the negativity out of my head. Much of the time I cry silently to myself obbsessing over the thought of loosing him or having to push myself to leave if he falls down time and time again. I am wondering if there is anyone who can offer some advice or any relation to the emotions I am feeling.

    An emtional wreak

  2. #2
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014


    He's very lucky to have someone like you. This forum can only do so much. We can support you and offer up some suggestions, but the very best thing you can do for yourself is seek out a support meeting of Naranon in your area. That's where you'll receive all the help and guidance you need. You'll learn what drives him and how not to enable him. He has to WANT to get clean before it will ever happen. Addicts will lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate everyone in their path. All he really wants is his drugs I'm afraid. I'm an addict in recovery, and drove my own GF right out the door...for good. Lost everything else in the process too.

    As I said the support is here for you, but please get yourself into one of those meetings. You can also try Alanon. It's more for alochol, but addiction is addiction and they teach the same process as Naranon. You'll meet many others in the same place as you are. You'll develop friendships with those that can help you the most. Take care and best wishes.

    DDAVE45 likes this.

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