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Is it possible to withdrawl while on Hydrocodone? Need help; feeling like an idiot.
  1. #1
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy Is it possible to withdrawl while on Hydrocodone? Need help; feeling like an idiot.

    New here...

    I am an idiot.... I cannot believe this is happening again... About a year and a half ago I started taking some hydro's. In about 6-months I began to become addicted and when I realized the feeling of addition, (I had never been addicted to anything in my life) it scared the >>>> out of me and I stopped C.T. I came to my entire family and presented them my problem and begged for their forgiveness. They were crucial in my moving forward.

    Well after gaining control again for about a year, they were presented to me about 7months ago and I thought, "well I know how to keep this under control since I have been thru this before, I'll just take 1 or 2 during the weekend and no more." Well in the past 5-6 months I have been taking 3x 10/325mg hydros. I love the energy they create, the euphoria. I felt like a better father to my 5 year old because I was always ready to play and have fun.. I felt like a better husband to my wife, etc...

    The past week or two, while taking the Hydro's I have had a panic attack, my calf muscles are cramping like crazy, anxiety like none other, the pills not fully relieving my anxiety, etc... Problem is, I'm still on them at the moment. My big question is; is it possible to have withdraw symptoms while still on the hydro? Is this my bodies way of "wanting more"? I am very prone to anxiety so is this simply anxiety? From reading some peoples encounters 3x10/325 a day sounds like a drop in the bucket but it is not for me.


    My next dilemma, I have to tell my wife and my best friend, and I am scared >>>>less about it. I don't know how to approach this. I am not scared my wife will leave me, but we both come from a family with drug issues that impacted our younger years significantly and I don't want to be labeled as a failure.... My best friend is a family man and very religious. I have let both of these people down horribly. I plan on C.T. quitting again. It was extremely hard the first time and I know it will be as well this time and these two's support were crucial; I HAVE to come clean. I cannot do this by myself.

    I'm ashamed, I feel like a complete idiot for allowing this to come back into my life. Any help would be much appreciated.

  2. #2
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome!!

    Simply put, yes. It is entirely possible to feel withdrawal symptoms even though you are still taking those hydros. We all develop a tolerance to the amount we are taking. It's the nature of the beast and WILL NOT be avoided. Just as you mentioned, it's likely your brain and body are demanding more because you've developed that tolerance to the amount you are taking. This is the exact reason why so many of us spiraled out of control and was able to take doses that would have killed us had we taken that much in the beginning. Many years ago, long before I became dependent and addicted, I was prescribed a very low dose of codeine to be taken as needed. A 30 pill count would last me for two months. I'd only take one at a time and almost always, it would make me nauseous so I had to lay down as soon as I took it. Fast forward and years later I was able to down 200+mg of stronger opiates and it wouldn't even make me sleepy.

    I know the shame of relapsing. I've done it so many times I lost count a long time ago. Each and every time I would promise my family and myself that I had learned my lesson and that I couldn't control it once I started and of course I never wanted to experience a cold turkey detox again. Boy I know how hard it will be to go to your wife and friend but it honestly will be the very best thing you can do. Having others that will demand that we be accountable is sometimes the only thing that will pull us through to the other side. You wife, you said won't leave you over this. Your friend is deeply religious so as a Christian, he has the capacity to forgive and to serve. If you are willing to do the work of recovery, I have little doubt that they will both be there for you. Will they be dissappointed? Of course! Secrets are poison. It's destructive to move forward always looking over your shoulder in case your secret comes out. In addition, we both know what detox feels like and it's impossible to keep that a secret. Especially if your wife is aware of addiction, she'll see and recognize the signs and the fact that you aren't being completely honest with her will just make things worse. To rebuild trust we start with being honest all of the time even when it's hard. That way we are proving to others that despite the difficulty, we won't lie or deceive them. Period.

    Keep posting. Are you familiar with The Thomas Recipe? It's a list of vitamins and supplements that may help during your detox. There's no magic and it won't help you to avoid the discomfort but some of the things may make your more comfortable. Ask questions and share here. It's a no-judgement zone with plenty of good folks with real life experience that will support you and help however we can.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  3. #3
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Thank you, Cat... I'm in tears.

    This is all so foreign to me, so I have not heard of the Thomas recipe. I will look it up though! its 12pm i haven't had a pill and anxiety and leg cramps are present. I could barely even sleep last night and i only took 1 in mid day and .5 at night. This is really going to suck...
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    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    What can I do to help these leg cramps!? I was going to cut down to 1 today but I’m feeling okay so >>>> it I’m going to go for it.

  5. #5
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Also, just read the Thomas recipie... definently not for me. No Valium needed. I’m just going to CT this >>>> and get it over with...

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    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Well, I was able to wait until 5:30 today. We have some family coming in town so I think I will tell the wife and CT on Monday. Very nervous. I thought I had a shot but it was like a light switch today. I’m going to do just like yesterday and take this one and a half just before bed so I can sleep a little better. I am ashamed.

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    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    You can do it!! I have relapsed several times and I've had to tell my husband it is disappointed him and made him very sad and angry by in time he's come around and being supportive....

    I've had to make sure to take time for me to go through the withdrawal and be able to take care of myself & get the rest I needed ...
    be able to get back to being myself again now it's been almost 3 weeks that I've been clean!!!!

    this is the fourth time i've gone through which were all most the time it's been from Percocet and this time it's from Nucynta.... and now I feel so happy and so good to be totally free every day

    I feel amazing and should not have to take these pills to feel good just to naturally feel good feels great and to not be in the pain I was before but to feel the pain receding feels wonderful !!!

    Keep up the good work that you're doing and before you know it you're going to be doing well it's natural to feel ashamed of yourself and feel terrible I did too I felt exactly that way but before long you're going to feel so good and so proud of yourself for being able to get through with drawl and be clean and sober!!
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  8. #8
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Thank you..

    I only took the one yesterday. I was able to sleep but woke up multiple times. Today is Sunday so no work Or anything to get me really busy. Just the super bowl. it’s just shy of 10am and my body is slightly achy like I am getting sick.

    Has anyone’s ears rang during detox? Mine are ringing like crazy
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  9. #9
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by candyblueta View Post
    Thank you..

    I only took the one yesterday. I was able to sleep but woke up multiple times. Today is Sunday so no work Or anything to get me really busy. Just the super bowl. it’s just shy of 10am and my body is slightly achy like I am getting sick.

    Has anyone’s ears rang during detox? Mine are ringing like crazy
    Good Morning Candy,

    I'm glad that you looked at the Thomas Recipe. I should have mentioned that it included a benzo but to avoid them entirely unless you're already taking them. All of the other things are over the counter, non-addictive and just vitamins and supplements that will make you physically stronger. Your choice though. However, at least get some liquid Immodium for the bathroom trips because they will arrive. Just take them as directed on the package and it will at least keep that symptom manageable. Another thing you might try is Melatonin and Sleepy Time Tea. Make a strong cup of the tea and take the Melatonin with it at bedtime. For some, it helps sleep but at the very least it has a calming effect to make the long nights a bit more bearable.

    The leg cramps. UGH One of the worst symptoms for me. No doubt about that! Eat a couple of bananas a day, take frequent hot baths (that REALLY helps!). There are also some over-the-counter things that you might try. Calm Legs or Hylands Restful Legs. Most definitely worth a try. Be sure to drink plenty of fluids. Plain water or vitamin infused water. Even Gatorade. Whatever you like but keep chugging it constantly. One of the effects of detox is possible dehydration and those symptoms mimic detox symptoms and make the actual symptoms worse. Eat a protein rich diet. I made protein shakes using almond milk, fresh or frozen berries, a banana, a little raw honey, protein powder and ice cubes. Toss that into a blender. Whenever I could, especially at night, I used two heating pads wrapping them around my calves and that did help with the restless legs and cramps.

    Hunker down and go for it cold turkey. This is fairly predictable so you can anticipate around five days of acute symptoms. You aren't taking too much in the scheme of things so you may feel better even sooner than that. Just remember that even taking one pill will prolong the process so once you commit to this, get rid of any pills you have left and ride out the storm. By taking one pill to get some relief will only stretch things out and it's so not worth it to get a few hours of relief. This is something that you'll have to commit to 100% from the get-go.

    Keep posting. Ask questions. You have found a wonderful place for good information and support. Let's get this over with so that you can rebuild your self esteem and put the shame and regret behind you for good. You can and will do this. One week is the price of beginning to find your peace.

    Peace,

    Cat

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    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    PS I didn't even answer your question. Sorry! I didn't experience any ringing in my ears but I've certainly heard from plenty of others who did. I'd chalk that up to a typical symptom.

    Peace

    Cat
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    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Cat,

    Thank you for the guidance.. I really do need the help and support from you and others. Checking in for reply’s to this thread is a big deal for me so thank you.

    I have been chugging water like crazy. Still haven’t had one since yesterday at 5:30. It’s 12:30 my time. I planned on starting this CT tomorrow after taking one tonight. I will obviously avoid this if I can..

    In about an hour, I come clean to my mother. Tonight; my wife. I’m very scared and ashamed. I simply cannot believe I allowed this to become a part of my life again; albeit in smaller amounts, still Stupid.

    I will post back here tonight/tomorrow and update.

  12. #12
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Update:

    I sat down and had a talk with my mom. Turns out, she had been thru the same thing! She was very supportive and offered major support. It felt great to break down to someone. Although I am 30, it was much needed. My mom asked me to hand over all of the pills so i did. I’m doing this for real now guys.

    Now for the wife... I am genuinely scared.... T-Minus 1.5hrs till I tell her.... I just hope she will support me not drag me down harder.

  13. #13
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Smile Told the wife

    Update!

    I told the wife! She was obviously upset and felt lied to and let down (understandable) BUT she has forgiven me and is on board with my moving forward. Something crucial to me beating this. I truly believe the only way to be accountable and move forward is by involving your family and those close to you.

    No pills since 5:30 two days ago so we’ll call this my start of day2. The anxiety is kicking my but. My arms/legs are weak and I feel the “flu-like” symptoms. This is hard but I can do it! I am not getting much responses but I sure hope my story is seen by either someone debating trying “just 1” again or somebody in my shoes. DONT DO IT! Not worth it!

    I know these next 2 days will be the hardest. Feel free to drop a line here guys. Anybody else on day 2/3?

  14. #14
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey Candy, welcome to the forums! Sorry I'm just now seeing your post, but you've gotten some excellent advice already from Cat and Autumn. I'm really glad you were able to share with your mom and wife, and that you're going to have their support as you go through this.

    The Hyland's leg cramp pills that Cat mentioned really helped me with the cramps when I jumped. I'd also often use a heating pad on my knee/legs at night when I slept...seemed to help quite a bit as well. Staying hydrated is important, so great you're pounding down the water.

    It will probably be hard to eat for a bit, but anything you can get down will help. Even if it's just nibbling on crackers when you can once you're through the worst of it. I couldn't count the number of popsicles I went through during my tapers and the jump, the sugar wasn't good for me, but was about the only thing I could handle to get some kind of liquid in my system. Whatever you can handle will only help.

    Keep posting as you can, and even if people are slow to respond know there are lots of people here who know what you're going through. We're all here to support each other so hang in there!!

  15. #15
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    Hey CB-

    I been peepin your scene. I think your biggest obstacle was coming clean to your family & you've conquered that. You're gonna rock this & in a few more days you'll have this done & over- no looking back.

    Can't really add much to the suggestions already made. Plenty of water to flush out the system, heat on the legs. I used rice socks- the added weight from the rice felt good. I would put one in my chest to & seemed to help with anxiety. I will add stretching to the list- seemed to help my legs. Also, for anxiety & sleepless nights try dark quiet room & deep breathing. I would put in the ear buds with meditation music.

    This will be over before you know it. Keep that mind over matter going!

    ❤️

    Che
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    Leah987 is offline Senior Member
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    Hi, Candyblue, welcome to the forum! You have already gotten excellent advise, I don't think I really have anything to add. But, just know that I, too, finally kicked hydros about 10 months ago. You won't have near as hard a time as I did, because you have your family's support, and you really haven't been on them for that long, and haven't taken that many. It will not be fun, but it will be over with soon if you stick to your guns. You seem to be doing well so far. You're a tough guy, you can do this. If I can.....you can!!!! I'm in your corner!
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    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    THANK YOU ALL!! You’re my rock right now!!! The words of encouragement really help me more than anything.

    Update before I get in bed;

    5:30 today ended “day2” so here I am going on 50hrs. My thought process is groggy, and my anxiety is BAD. I keep having thoughts like I am going to die, go crazy, never be normal, etc. This is the hardest part for me. I have had past run-ins with anxiety and it’s horrible because it scares the hell out of me. When I discussed all this with my mother she simple said “Fear is always a lie, fear is always a lie, fear is always a lie, For God did not give us the spirit of fear, but a spirit of peace, love, and a sound mind.“ and “anxiety is only excitement, disguised” (were a religious family, sorry)... these words help me when **** hits the fan in my head or I begin to beat myself up.

    Anyways: I got this guys. Looking forward to a better tomorrow and a clearer mind.

    -Bill

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    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Morning!

    Well I’m about 65hrs in. Today, by the book, is supposed to be the worst day. I got about 4 hours of sleep last night. Was able to sleep using some sleepy time tea and with the TV on. Is it normal to constantly wake up over and over? That’s typically how it works for me; I’ll fall asleep and wake up 30/45min later... also, my sinuses are draining like crazy!!

    Anxiety is still bad. I also think I might be adding to it because I get anxiety just thinking about anxiety lol.

    Does all this sound normal?

    Anyways; I’m off to work. Hopefully I can muster some energy to get out there and get some stuff done!
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  19. #19
    Leah987 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by candyblueta View Post
    Morning!

    Well I’m about 65hrs in. Today, by the book, is supposed to be the worst day. I got about 4 hours of sleep last night. Was able to sleep using some sleepy time tea and with the TV on. Is it normal to constantly wake up over and over? That’s typically how it works for me; I’ll fall asleep and wake up 30/45min later... also, my sinuses are draining like crazy!!

    Anxiety is still bad. I also think I might be adding to it because I get anxiety just thinking about anxiety lol.

    Does all this sound normal?

    Anyways; I’m off to work. Hopefully I can muster some energy to get out there and get some stuff done!
    Candyblue, yes, it all sounds normal. As a matter of fact, as far as the sleep goes, believe it or not, you are doing REALLY great! I didn't sleep a wink for a week. No matter what I tried.... Not a wink! I think about the night of day seven I got in a couple of hours finally. Hang in there, I know you don't feel great, but you are rocking this!

  20. #20
    thefigurehead is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by candyblueta View Post
    Morning!

    Well I’m about 65hrs in. Today, by the book, is supposed to be the worst day. I got about 4 hours of sleep last night. Was able to sleep using some sleepy time tea and with the TV on. Is it normal to constantly wake up over and over? That’s typically how it works for me; I’ll fall asleep and wake up 30/45min later... also, my sinuses are draining like crazy!!

    Anxiety is still bad. I also think I might be adding to it because I get anxiety just thinking about anxiety lol.

    Does all this sound normal?

    Anyways; I’m off to work. Hopefully I can muster some energy to get out there and get some stuff done!
    Hi CB -

    If you are still having leg cramps at night... I suggest Hyland's Leg Cramps OTC from WalMart. It is $10 for fifty pills, but it simply works magic. I have been in Sub WD's for 6 days and each night I have taken the stuff it works. You just place two tabs under you tongue before bed and voila, no cramps in the legs.

    Give it a try!

    BTW, you are doing fantastic! Coming clean to the fam is imperative. The flu excuse only works for so long.

    Stay strong and power through it... you got this!

    Tim
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  21. #21
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Default Good Update!

    You guys are awesome!!! Heres a great update:


    On my way home from work, I got energy and the anxiety SLIGHTLY subsided! I got very hungry, and I "cleared" up the fog a little bit in my head. It was literally like a light switch around 6:30. So I went out to eat with the family. I ate all my food and even wanted more. This was great!!!! Still dealing with the anxiety but I can see the progression, this is great. Well see how tonight goes.


    80hrs in... I AM BEATING THIS.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-06-2018 at 10:30 PM.

  22. #22
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Got great sleep last night even without the sleepy time tea (5hrs on and off) but woke up feeling very anxious this morning... This anxiety sucks really bad along with my ears ringing.. Also, I’m starting to get cravings. Don’t worry I’m done though lol. I feel like it is partially the anxiety because I know if I took one, it would subside. BUT I would have to do all this over again. Energy feels a bit low this morning too. I felt great last night. I guess I am sorta floating in and out of the affect of this BS. Either way, I am motivated and I WILL be normal again!

    Off to work!
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  23. #23
    Autumnhopes is offline Member
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    Wow Bill the Candy B... u are amazing!!!
    I was down for almost 3 weeks,the first time I went through w/d.. I couldn't work. Needed to take off for the 3 weeks most spent in bed or taking walks to burn anxiety. I couldn't function.. but u are doing great!! I'm so happy for u.

    That's why I don't share my experience in detail w ppl before they're going through the detox or w/d period. Because each experience is so different. The first time I went through with drawl it was terrible but this last time I went through it it was just a couple of days and I was feeling much better so really every time is different and that's why you can't get too anxious about it because you just make it worse.. People fear the withdrawal more than what it's actually going to be and because of that fear they never just take the bull by the horn and just go through it and sometimes,,, most of the time it's never as bad as they think it's going to be and that's why we need to just root for each other and encourage each other and not share the worst part of our experience because that could scare people away from actually doing it....

    I'm happy for you Bill and I'm glad you told your wife and your mom.. how interesting that your mom had the same opioid issue and she was supportive, she said give me the pills...I'm gonna take them. Your wife also jumped on board & is super supportive and u have a good network of people around you and that is so important like you said,,, you absolutely need that it's crucial in order to succeed and well....it's wonderful to have that network of people around you..... you can do it without those people supporting you but it is so hard I've been there it's really hard

    Keep up the awesome work keep doing what you're doing and you're going to succeed!!! I know everyone here is going to keep watching for your posts in to see how your story goes so keep posting
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-07-2018 at 01:03 PM.
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  24. #24
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    5:30 marked 4 days since last dose....

    Feeling stronger, but this anxiety is really bad I feel depressed about it, literally... is this normal? I’m just waiting for this to all subside!!!

  25. #25
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Quick update before bed;

    I felt amazing today! I am still sorta slightly fatigued (especially in the legs) and i still have a bit of anxiety but overall I feel waaaayyyy better. I got a lot done at work, could focus on things, etc.! My energy is coming back in waves, and the “fog” is leaving my brain.

    This is great! You guys have been amazing to me. If anyone is reading this contemplating on quitting; it is very much so worth it! DO IT
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  26. #26
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by candyblueta View Post
    Quick update before bed;

    I felt amazing today! I am still sorta slightly fatigued (especially in the legs) and i still have a bit of anxiety but overall I feel waaaayyyy better. I got a lot done at work, could focus on things, etc.! My energy is coming back in waves, and the “fog” is leaving my brain.

    This is great! You guys have been amazing to me. If anyone is reading this contemplating on quitting; it is very much so worth it! DO IT
    You're doing great and things will improve every day from here on out. The lack of energy and anxiety is totally expected but will relent just like you described with longer and longer periods not being bothered by it and then it will rear its ugly head for a bit. Worth every single moment so keep up the great work.

    I wanted to let you know how proud I am of you for speaking with both your Mom and your wife. Well done and doesn't it feel much better not having to hide anything? First huge step in rebuilding their trust and confidence in you.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  27. #27
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Update:


    Yesterday at 5:30 marked a full week since my last one!! Most physical withdrawal symptoms are gone but the anxiety and a little depression still linger. Again; my energy comes in waves! I’ll get very energetic and other times I feel tired and run down. Still have diarrhea slightly (sorry).

    The worst is over! I’m so glad that my life doesn’t revolve around that >>>> anymore. I feel better and better every day. Looking forward to the 10 day mark!

  28. #28
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Default Feeling much better

    Update;

    Today at 5:30 marked 10 days! I FEEL GREAT! I still feel anxiety and "down" a bit. I have always had issues with this so I imagine this may take a little longer to go away but, My energy & my appetite are all there! Still have cramps very seldomly in the legs... My mind is still clearing up and I fell better and better every day. My wife is very happy and surprisingly enough, this whole experience has brought us closer together.

    If anyone is reading this considering quitting and feeling scared, take it from me, IT IS WORTH IT!!! The way I feel now is well worth the withdraws. I am free from this poison I once consumed (literally & figuratively.) Thanks for all the support thus far guys!

  29. #29
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Hope everyone had a great Valentine’s Day!

    Still doing good. Still have some anxiety and even sleep issues (weird it is happening now) but overall I feel like normal again! This is great.
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  30. #30
    candyblueta is offline Junior Member
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    Hey everyone. I know I’m not getting much responses but I know people are reading.

    Just a little update. Although i still have a bit of sleep issues mainly related to RLS, I am starting to clear up emotionally. The anxiety is subsiding as well as any depression. I feel absolutely great! Cravings are also few and far between. I turn 30 today. Glad to have left all of this on my late 20’s.

    If you’re going thru withdraws and reading this, just know, the light is very bright at the end of the tunnel and you will soon live a good, quality life.

    Thanks everybody,
    -Bill

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