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Post suicide attempt questions and issues
  1. #1
    Bruneaux is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
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    Default Post suicide attempt questions and issues

    Long story, hard to write because of massive stroke that took out the speech center.

    Background info.

    I've been diagnosed for chronic depression with bi-polar two and have had 7 stays in psych words over 14 years. I have had very bad experiences with private Psychiatrists and only two good experiences with Psychiatrists in psych wards.

    I live alone, have no family and only two friends. On in my town, one 10 hours away. Solitary life (post stoke, divorce, etc, etc).

    Dealing with degenerative disc I have been on tramadol control the pain for about 8 months.
    My job (and hobbies) requires a lot of physical work.
    Have had carpal tunnel surgery on both hands and they are not healing well. So I take ibuprofen regularly to deal the swelling.

    Have diverticulitis, "ricks ring" (tightening of ep, ephofigist and general stomach issues, ie acid reflux. Taking Nexium.

    I am getting an appointment with my GP (Dr) but would like to hear some ????? insights? Maybe thoughts that I can take to my GP.

    Start.

    My depression (di-polar two) started a nose five I was in a bad place. But I hate psych wards. When my room mate called the police (to take me away) I had a very bad reaction and decided to overdose in Tramadol. I did NOT want to be in a psych ward again, I felt that I would be best dead.

    I didn't tell anyone that I took the Tramadol and the sheriff (and at least 6 of his men ) took me away in handcuffs and shackles.
    They put me in a common cell, took away everything other than my underwear. Everything was steel and cold and I threw up multiple times. So the amount of tramadol that got into my system was not enough to trigger any seizures or typical signs of tramadol overdose.

    When I situated in the psych ward the Psychiatrist changed my medications to effexor-er. His goal was to have me on 225 mgs a effexor within 9 days. At the 9 day point I was declared 'cured' ( I do hate Psychiatrists, they just don't know what it means to be so depressed) and released. I was sent home with the first high dose of effexor, a month of 225mg doses and a prescription for long term. The plan B, if the effexor did not work, was to seek ECT.


    Inserting time marks starting from the overdose in tramadol. Approximately 4000mg (80 x 50mg) of tramadol.

    2 weeks The effector started to make me even worse and I just got my follow up appointment with my GP. I did not tell my GP that I had overdosed on tramadol (no one knows, other than some whom might read this) I promised my GP that I would stay the effexor on it for period of time. I could not deal with the side effects and it looks l hit serotonin syndrome. But I stayed on the effexor. I also continued with tramadol to manage the back pain.

    4 weeks I started noticing that food did not taste right. Food didn't have much taste.

    5 weeks Thanks Givings dinner did not have much taste. But it was a microwaved Hungry Man (turkey with stuffing, of course).

    6 weeks I hit the agreed time to be on effexor and taper off of that medication. Leaving me with no psych meds. The conversation with my GP (Dr) was that I would stay off meds until such time that the effexor was out of my system and if I felt any depression I would come back and get on the old meds that I was on prior.

    Mean while I was doing what I could to get a consultation for ECT at a fairly well respected hospital. Not important, though, my questions are about the meds that I took.

    7 weeks The depression was waxing. Feeling better and the signs of serotonin syndrome stopped. But I noticed that I could not taste food very well. Felt it was probably just because of a cold or something insignificant.

    8 weeks I was bitten my something while doing work under the house and it swelled up about 6 inches around the bite, which had 2 marks about 1/8 inch. Also my lungs were exposed to a LOT of shredded fiberglass insulation. My fear was that it was a brown recluse spider. Went to GP next day (lucky to get in that fast), and I was given cefdinir. One side effect is abdominal pain.

    Then I lost about 95% sense of smell and taste. Bad burping, sour stomach and stomach pain. Bad taste in the mouth. Started eating yogurt twice a day in an attempt to stop the stomach issues.

    Depression at that point was at a long time low. Feeling very little depression.

    9 weeks Christmas diner and after a very small meal I was extremely bloated. Stomach pain continued. Wondered if it was because of the cifdinir or maybe I did damage to my liver or kidneys when I attempted to kill myself. Stopped all tramadol.
    Insect (?) bite swelling has passed. No signs of brown recluse bite.

    10 weeks. Here and now. New Years. Hard to eat, bloating, stomach pains, can't taste or smell food unless it is an extreme ( ie, rotten eggs, etc). Bad taste in my mouth. Back pain is bad but I am avoiding the tramadol. I am calling tomorrow for an appointment with my GP.

    Questions. How long should it take for signs of liver/kidney damage from an overdose from tramadol? I don't know that the tramadol did any damage to my liver or kidneys because of the time for those symptoms to show.

    What could be causing the loss of taste/smell, stomach pain, etc. I guess the better question is what is the most likely cause. So many things were going on during that period of time.

    Any insights are welcome. I need to narrow the amount of time with my Dr. and this has taken almost 5 hours for me to compose due the stroke. I can not speak well and have a hard time with memory and I don't want take too much time from the Dr.

    You are welcome to ignore this post if you are going to tell me how horrible I am for what I have done.
    I am doing very well with the depression considerning that I am not taking any psych meds.
    The hospital that I wanted to go to for the ECT will not let me get a referral to see a Psychiatrist there even though they want me to see one before starting ECT. This is life for a depressed person. Stuck in rules and restrictions and fighting to stay the course.

    Bruneaux ( it's French for Bruno )
    UncleLeo likes this.

  2. #2
    froggy_069 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
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    Default

    Hey bruno, welcome to the forum!

    I know how long it took for you to write that post and I truly apologize that it took so long to get a response. Please don't think you have been ignored or gone unnoticed, that's not the case at all. Nobody here would ever think you are a horrible person because of what you did with the tramadol, I can assure you that most of us have been in a very dark place in our lives at one point or another and I'm sure many of us have had the same thoughts as you, perhaps some have even acted upon those thoughts. It's water under the bridge at this point.

    It sounds like you are doing better with the depression, good for you!

    I don't have much of answer for some of the medical issues you are having now but I'm sure some other members will drop by that might have more insight on the matter. I will say that these are things you definitely need to address with your doctor for sure. I'm sure he/she will have an idea of what could be going on or perhaps order some tests that will get to the bottom of the issue.

    Definitely keep posting my friend, you are not alone at all, we are all here for you and will help in any way we are able. Even if you want to post just to say how your day went or to vent and get some things off your chest, that's okay too, we're good listeners, honest!

    Please post soon and let us know how you are doing.

    I hope you have a wonderful day!

    ~ froggy

  3. #3
    Bruneaux is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
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    2

    Default It was in the middle of the holidays

    Froggy,
    I had no expectations.
    It was in the middle of the holidays. Most are busy.

    Liver is fine. Seems like just a very long cold and added on to the spide bite and dust/fiberglass my lungs just made the recovery very long. I can now taste and the can almost smell the coffee that is brewing as I speak.

    I was trying to get ECT but the Psychiatrist wanted me on a med and working with a Psychiatrist before doing the treatments . Just very sad that the very hospital that I was working with denied me access to a Psychiatrist in their clinic. But I make a case and they have now given me an appointment to see one of their Psychiatrists withing the month. And if you have tried to get an appointment with an Psychiatrist then you will know that it usually takes 2-4 months. I have one in 3 weeks. But I did have to fight for it. Sad state of affairs.


    Bruneaux
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-05-2018 at 10:43 AM.

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