Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 59
Like Tree42Likes
Quit after 10 years of prescribed hydrocodone
  1. #1
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default Quit after 10 years of prescribed hydrocodone

    Hi, I have been taking prescription hydrocodone for 10 years 10/325. I weaned over Nov/Dec and took my last pill on January 18. I feel either super anxious or ready to cry. The suicidal thoughts are horrible. I have been taking passionflower & tumeric. Any idea how long before I feel better? 52 years old and married for 31 years to a wonderful man who would do anything to take this internal pain away. Oh, and the pain that started the pills? Absolutely none. Thank you for any advice.

  2. #2
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default Please?

    Is this the right place for this? I'm new so please someone tell me if I'm in the right area. It's so very hard emotionally right now. Thank you for any words of comfort you can give me.

  3. #3
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,912

    Default

    Hey catyjo. Welcome to the forums. Yes. Youre definately in the right place for support. Everyone here is amazing and I'm sure there will be many more to stop in and share their experience strength and hope. Congratulations on 6 days. You should be just about through the worst of the physical stuff. I know you feel like death right now but there are a few things you can do to help you get over the hump so to speak.

    Get out and get moving. I know it feels impossible but go for a little walk. Get moving a little, anything to get those endorphins moving.

    Drink a ton of water and Gatorade. You gotta stay hydrated and it helps to flush out the garbage from your system

    Keep a positive mental outlook. I know it sounds kinda hokey. But it really does help.

    Have you seen the Thomas recipe for opiate withdrawal? You can Google it. I can't drop a link. Sorry. Everything there will help you on your way. Except the benzos, unless you're already taking them under a Dr's supervision. They're highly addictive and you don't want to trade one for the other.

    Get on here and post/read as much as you want/need to. It really helps. Every thread I read during my detox made me that more determined to see this through.

    Again welcome!! You couldn't have found a better place than this!!
    Congratulations, and I promise you it only gets better from here.
    Beef

  4. #4
    shipper is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    21

    Default good start

    wanting to quit is the best start.have to be serious.im 24 days off vicodins.days are long sometimes nites too.you have support at home,thats impportant.my withdrawls basically stopped after 6 days.now,fatigue,little anxious,but been on site enough to know it will pass and our brains will learn how to work again.little walks help.praying helps for me.mine were basically prescribed too until i started running out.i could see where this disease could end up--H-cant go there no coming back.got you in my prayers.

  5. #5
    shipper is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    21

    Default

    catiy,one thing i forgot to mention is i was prescribed clonidine by my doctor.somehow it really helps.i quit a few times without it so i know it helps.i also had trazadone to help me sleep at first,im almost off it.hopefully your hydro prescriber will help.

  6. #6
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    Thank you for the words of encouragement. The depression is almost debilitating. And the "what am I going to do now?" feeling. Absolutely hopeless type of feeling. I've tried passionflower & turmeric. I don't know if it is the weaning or the herbs, but my upper abdomen is very painful. And of course either crying or wanting to cry...

  7. #7
    froggy_069 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    301

    Default

    Hey Catyjo!

    I'm a bit late to the party but I definitely wanted to pop my head in here and welcome you to the forum!

    First and foremost, congratulations on getting yourself away from the pills, you have made the best decision you can make for yourself! The physical part of this should be just about over for the most part and you should be feeling much better than when you started this. The mental aspect, most especially the depression as you're finding out, can be quite formidable.

    I have been exactly where you are now and please believe me that this indeed does get better, it's simply another symptom of the withdrawal and adjustment off the pills and it will most certainly pass. I've had it pass quickly and also had it linger for a while. I can't really put a time on when I you can expect it to be gone, but it will go. It may seem a little flaky but when I hit rough patches such as you're going through now, I would try to find one good thing in each and every day, focus on it and build from there. It started with me finding something each day that I was grateful for but quickly found that if you look close enough there are so many good things in life. Finding and focusing on these things helped pull my mind out of that dark place.

    I hope you awake this morning feeling much better!
    Lvg nghtmare likes this.

  8. #8
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    Thank you for your post. I keep having crying episodes. Few hours good and then sobbing. Today at 4 pm it will be 7 days since last pill. I just keep looking ahead and thinking how easy it was being on the pills. They made me happy. I didn't take more than I was prescribed, never went "looking" for more. My doctor told me he wasn't going to prescribe anymore and since I'm a "rule follower" type person, I said ok. Doctor gave me absolutely no advice. Zero. So that kind of sucked.

    Thank you for reading...

  9. #9
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,912

    Default

    Keep your head up!! You will get through this. The mental journey is quite formidable. Those bouts of depression come and go. It's all normal and part of the process. Keep chugging along. Baby steps, one day at a time.

    Keep doing the next right thing!!
    Proud of you!!
    Beef
    Catyjo likes this.

  10. #10
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    How long do the bouts last?

  11. #11
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,912

    Default

    It's hard to say. Everyone heals differently. It's a process, I know it's not what you want to hear but it's the truth. No magic pill, and the main thing that will help you is time. (Sorry) One thing I took and still take today is DLPA. It's an amino acid and it helps to repair the brain. I gotta say it definitely helps general mood and outlook. Give it a shot.

    Keep posting!! It helps
    Beef

  12. #12
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    Whoops, sorry, just reread an earlier post. It's going to depend isn't it? Should I be better in a few days?

  13. #13
    Anonymous Guest

    Default

    Hello,
    You're doing a great job!!! The mental mind games are the worst part but they too will pass. PATIENCE is a virtue..I had to go on an antidepressant because I was having depression and anxiety. Remember it took you ten years to get this way. It's hard work but you will feel better and you will be glad you did it. The crying and crazy emotions will subside but if you feel suicudal you may want to talk to your doc. I had those too. Hope you feel better soon. Keep fighting.
    ForMe30 and Lvg nghtmare like this.

  14. #14
    Just-Freaking-Done is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    17

    Default

    Hi Catyjo,

    We are on the same timeline, but I actually after 6 days had to go back and start to taper bc I couldn’t handle doing it cold turkey. Congrats on 7 days - that is quite an accomplishment. Even with taking a very small amount compared to what I was taking my feelings have been just like yours. I think in one of my first posts I was saying how emotional I had become and I’m a girl who hardly ever cries and I was balling my eyes out over a car commercial!!

    I know that the small walks I’ve been getting in each day are helping some. I really want to shut myself away in my bedroom and not be around anyone and I’m trying really hard to not do that. I started taking a really good multivitamin and going to get the DLPA supplement that Beef mentioned earlier this weekend and hopefully that will help some.

    Good luck on your journey and I hope to “see” you around!

  15. #15
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    It's Friday - yahoo! My depression is still horrible and I can't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel but I keep hoping it will show up. I work at a church and spend quite a bit of the time by myself. I think it's a bit of a double edged sword. But the sun is shining where I am at right now and that is something isn't it?

    So, will I ever feel light hearted again? Does every week get a little better? Or is this just a bad time of year...?

  16. #16
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,912

    Default

    It's all normal and part of the process. I too felt like I'd never be back to my old self. It just takes time for your body to clean up the mess we have made. One day you'll wake up and realize you feel good. It's an amazing feeling. You will get there and trust me, this too shall pass. Depression hit me like a Mack truck right around 3 weeks clean and it was so deflating. I was crying at the drop of a hat. I think the worst one that made me shake my head was a commercial where a father and son were playing catch. That was it, waterworks. You're doing this, but it takes time. Try not to look to far into the future. It can drive you mad. Just focus on the here and now. Take it one day at a time.

    Blast some music, and go for a walk outside. That always helped me.

    Proud of you!!
    Beef

  17. #17
    Leah987 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    987

    Default

    Catyjo, welcome to the forum! And....what these wonderful peeps just said.^^^^^^ I got of hydros about 8 months ago. And yes, the depression held on to me for a while.....BUT......hang in there....I know you are miserable, but this is the way it's done. We have to go through the bad to get to the good. I'm still having bouts of depression, but they come and go, and every time they come, they are less and less depressing, and they are fewer and further between with each bout. I had my last one a couple weeks ago. I've been ok since. Hang in there, it WILL get better. By the way, I was on hydros for 30 years or so, so that probably had something to do with it. Hopefully yours won't last nearly as long.....I promise you will feel much better, and will be SO glad to be off those things, it will just take a little more time and patience. ((hugs))
    ForMe30 likes this.

  18. #18
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    I just want to feel better inside. It's been almost ten days, (at 4:00 central time). I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm not really interested in anything. My husband and I are empty nesters so the house is quiet...I feel bad for him. I wonder what kind of a wife I have been the last 10 years...

  19. #19
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    1,116

    Default

    Hey Catyjo, just read your thread so wanted to contribute to the great replies you've received already. I know the battle is really hard, but like everybody has said, it's all just part of the process. I was on oxy's for over a decade myself, and so it just takes time for our bodies and minds to get adjusted to our new "normal".

    These feelings will pass, and anything you can do to distract yourself will only help. I would sometimes sit and color mandalas for hours just to keep myself occupied in some way because there were times I just couldn't do anything else. Beef mentioned the DLPA, and L-Tyrosine is another amino acid that can help with a dopamine boost.

    As time passes you'll find that your interests start returning, just have to keep plugging away. You're doing great, and all of this will pass. Just wanted to be another to offer some support!!
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  20. #20
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Catjo

    I certainly am not writing to you to be a Debbie Downer, but I am going to tell you for some of us it is more of a process than others. I have been on there 3 years. Yes, 3 years. Wash and repeat. Wash and repeat. Do I do anything illegal? No. I just happen to run out to too soon which in and of itself it pur he**, and wearing on me more and more as time goes by.

    I try to rememeber when this really got bad, and I guess it was about 4 years ago during a particular BAD kidney stone episode. That's where it all went bad. Emotionally, this has been the worst. I have taken 3 weeks off from work which I have never done. God love my husband, I seriously do not know how he puts up up with me. I have tried walking--fell twice, very hard, luckily didn't hurt myself. I love to walk in the woods. I have started counseling, however, they goofed up my appointment last week and couldn't go. That would have been my second appointment. I could have really, really used that.

    I actually got mad at my husband for doing the wash yesterday, AGAIN. Who does that? What's wrong with me. What would I do without him? I fear I am really losing it and an resisting an antidepressant like the plaque. I bought some SAM-e, but cried more after taking it. Probably all in my head.

    Going home tomorrow, which constitutes a 3 hour drive up north. Pray for the roads to be half way decedent. I need a chance of scenery even if it's a day.

    You can do this. I can do it. I will do it. I can't let me people down and it doesn't let people in your life down either. Yes, we are empty nesters too, but with grandchildren we see periodically every other week (divorce). Makes me said.

    Sorry to go on and on.

    Hope

  21. #21
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    I am sitting at my desk crying. I work in a non-profit and do spend a lot of time by myself, which is good and bad. I can cry by myself and mostly no one will know. I just want these sad emotions to go away.

  22. #22
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    I am sorry, I do appreciate all the good things you have to write. I just keep hoping someone will say, "in ten days you will feel so much better emotionally."

  23. #23
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,912

    Default

    Yeah. Believe me that's all I wanted during my detox. Some sort of an exact timeframe that I could focus on. But I know you've heard that everyone heals differently. Time is the greatest healer. I know it frustrated the h.ell out of me too. Severaltimes I wanted to smash my phone against the wall. You just gotta take it one at a time and focus on the here and now. This is all normal and I will pass. Keep your head up and keep on trucking.

    Congratulations on another clean day!!!
    Proud of you!
    Beef

  24. #24
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Catjo

    It is not going to help to tell you to know EXACTLY what you are going through, but I do. So what to do, what to do? It's an awful feeling and I can't believe this is going to be forever. I really am thinking of Ca***ba*.... Just for a short period. I am desperate. I cannot, as you, continue to feel this way. Exercise? i tried. Fell twice, and am so so sore It's hard to move. I know, someone call the whabulance. We have both got to rise above this. Easier said then done. Chin up, chin down. Mind over matter is not working. Wanting it, not wanting it. There has to be a solution. Clearly, the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Right now, I am resting. Resting my mind. Not pushing. I have never done that in my life. I am not giving myself a choice. It's the choice I must make to save myself. You must do this too. I see my counselor tomorrow. One on one for me. I cannot go in front of a group. That would put me over the edge. Keep talking. It helps.

    Hope
    Lvg nghtmare likes this.

  25. #25
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    I wish I could stop crying. I'm going to the doctor on Thursday for a physical. I have avoided this for about 5 years. I want to see what my blood levels are at. I don't know if I should tell him about my depression and have him prescribe something or not.

    I was having problems in 2012 and the doctor started me on cymbalta. I weaned myself off of that in June 2017. The withdrawals from that are just as horrible but I don't remember all the crying problems and the complete hopelessness.

    Working on day 12...

  26. #26
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    590

    Default

    Hi CatyJo-

    I've been meaning to stop over & Welcome you but always seem to be a day late...well you know. I see you met my best friend TIME! Try your best to make fast friends with Time now. You definitely want it working with you & not against you.

    Congratulations on 12 days!!! I've been through countless c/t & each one was different as far as duration & symptoms for that matter. You got yourself through the physical detox so now it's time for the brain to reboot. Sounds like your emtions are awake & in full swing. Give Thanks & Praises for that!! I'm a firm believer that uncontrollable tears is our souls way of releasing the pain we no longer need to carry. Look at this as a sign that your healing & releasing all that was bottled up in there all these years. Let them tears fall until there are none left. This is completely normal at this stage of the game so don't over think it. I'm not an expert on antidepressants so I don't have solid advice. Others can guide you for sure. You know you the best & if you feel you need them then definitely speak with your Dr. If your not sure then give yourself some more time & see how you feel emotionally after some clean time.

    Very soon you'll start to notice that you'll have good days show up in between the bad. Hold onto & appreciate all the little things about the good days- they will get you through on those bad days. Soon enough you'll start to notice that you will have more good days then bad- and you'll be off to the races.

    Going back to our Friend Time. Let go of it for now & let your body & mind get back on line. You basically just did a hard reboot on your brain (pill virus) & it's time to load a new program minus the pills. Now is the time to start new healthy habits. I see your taking passionflower (Sqeee) continue taking that & eat clean. Avoid (as much can) caffeine & sugar. Get a comfortable daily exercise routine. I know there's a hobby/project somewhere in you passion box. Bring it out & start working on it. Whatever it is if it comes from your heart it will bring you peace of mind as you work on it.

    Sorry to go on & on- I just get so excited looking back & reminiscing about my own journey. Nothing will compare to the day you break free from the chains.

    This is your journey- make it anything & everything your heart desires. You are taking your life back. Amen!

    ❤️
    Che
    gomphrena, ForMe30 and DravenDomnq like this.

  27. #27
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    Oh, thank you, I need "go on & on" haha.
    DravenDomnq likes this.

  28. #28
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    The depression and despondency are almost crippling. I read through other peoples posts for help and "cheering up". Today someone asked if I needed to take some time off. What would I do at home? Just cry there. I just keep watching the clock to see when it is time to go home and then watch the clock to see when it is time for bed. Hope it gets better soon.

  29. #29
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    3,100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Catyjo View Post
    The depression and despondency are almost crippling. I read through other peoples posts for help and "cheering up". Today someone asked if I needed to take some time off. What would I do at home? Just cry there. I just keep watching the clock to see when it is time to go home and then watch the clock to see when it is time for bed. Hope it gets better soon.

    Hello Catyjo -

    I see you have an appointment with your doctor on Thursday and that's great. You should have a physical including labs to see if you have something going on that needs attention. If everything's fine, and I certainly hope that it is, it will ease your mind a little. I would definitely let the doctor know about your depression. He or she may suggest using an antidepressant and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that. Getting off opiates can be crippling for some and the depression that follows can be a tough road to travel. Antidepressants can be extremely beneficial to help overcome situations like the one you're now having. So tell the doctor everything and the two of you can come up with a plan.

    In the event an antidepressant is suggested by the doctor just know there are many of them and they help some people while it may not help others. It takes a while (2-4 weeks usually) on any of them to see if they will benefit you. You may need to try a few different ones to find the right one that helps you the most. And that's IF it's suggested. Of course you have full say in what you do or don't do and we all realize that here.

    Congratulations on the nearly 2 weeks you have clean. That's great and you should be very proud of yourself as we're most certainly proud of you for what you've accomplished. Just be aware that this is a very dangerous time for any addict. You're off the drugs but things aren't going exactly a you have hoped they would. You MAY have some depression and things don't look so good to you right now. You know that taking a single pill can put an end to all of it. But you also know that isn't the answer because one pill is too many and a thousand are never enough. The BEAST (drugs) will always be tempting you to take something to ease the symptoms. Fight those urges as day one's are no fun at all.

    Keep posting, it helps. Good luck with the doctor and make sure to let us know how it goes. Take care of yourself.

    Randy

  30. #30
    Catyjo is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    28

    Default

    At 4 pm, it will be two weeks since my last pill. My goal for today is not to cry. I have been crying right around 10 am this week and on/off the rest of the day. I'm wondering if it is my job. As I mentioned earlier, I am by myself quite a bit of the day and the work has become unchallenging. I'm in my early 50's and a church secretary. I'm not sure if I'm too old for a new job. I go to the doctor today for the physical I have put off for 5 years, so hopefully my liver numbers will be in the good range. If yes, that should help make my job decision easier...

    Thank you for reading & responding.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. I took xanax for 18 years, and this is how I quit
    By johnnynodough in forum Need to Talk?
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 10-06-2017, 12:39 PM
  2. Replies: 49
    Last Post: 01-10-2017, 09:33 AM
  3. On Sub 4 years, quit with little withdrawal -my story
    By OJ212 in forum Suboxone Treatment
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-31-2014, 05:18 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22