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Sharing my story and looking for support to finally get off the Oxy
  1. #931
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Figured I'd try again to leave a little update. M accidentally broke the laptop last week so have to use my phone which is sometimes a huge pain in the ttub. Things have been good, just have really been working on my health both physical and mental. Thyroid is really out of whack so back on meds for that and finally trying to deal with some mental stuff from way back. All a necessary part of my recovery.

    M starts her new job next week, and is off until then. We have a new boarder coming for a few days starting tomorrow which will be good. Weather is finally starting to warm up, though we did wake up to some snow on the ground for the first day of spring...smh. Will try to keep reading and posting as I can, but hands sometimes get so cramped typing on this little screen. Will hopefully get my new phone upgrade soon!

    Hope everybody is well, and having a GREAT week!

  2. #932
    gomphrena is offline Junior Member
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    Hello,
    I hope you don't mind me sticking my head in the door. I'm Fran, joined last fall but mostly spent the time since reading your impressive road maps to freedom. I feel like you're all old friends --Draven (I hope by now the sicle part has melted), Lvg, Beefaroni, Rabdy, Cat, Hope, Blondie, and many others -- I suppose because I've gotten to "know" you, or at least know your amazing stories of how you each fought the most incredible battles you may face in your whole lives, and are continually winning each and every day..

    Having said that, I also realize you haven't a clue who I am, but I wanted to assure you that I'm not a weirdo or stalker or any of that stuff. I made a couple of posts, and over in General I finally started my own thread, as I felt it might be more appropriate over there. I still don't know exactly how all this works, and I'm holding my breath that I don't write things that would get me banned.

    I did notice, Draven, that you had already quit, or we're trying to quit smoking cigs, and I thought I might be of some help, as a couple of people I know personally, including myself, have had a measure of success with what I'm going to tell you. I smoked between 2 and 3 packs of cigs a day (I know! I know!) for 40 years. (I'm 62.) The craziest part is, 38 years ago I married the most wonderful man on the planet who had never smoked, never has, and hates the stuff with a passion. (But he loves me dearly - aww!) AND I'm a retired RN and we know better, right? (Wrong, but that's a whole 'nuther story.) Anyhow, I think I've read that you tried vaping. What is amazing is, I tried vaping at the behest of my sister, who had been vaping for a while. I caught on, and never smoked another cig again. Trading one addiction for the other was my first concern. In a sense, of course. I wasn't born yesterday. But! I really liked the thought of being able to enjoy my moment inside my home and car; my husband kind of likes the aroma and doesn't mind it at all (I know, get out, right?); a cough I was developing stopped the first day; and here's the sweet part: I use the lowest amount of nicotine mix AND for a great treat, I was able to buy my brand new SUV with the money I'd have spent on cigs. I was truly amazed at that. It's been going on 3 years and I don't want anywhere near those stinky little devils.

    Again, I've seen posters here who thought they were being helpful with the many forms that substitution theory takes, and can get pretty beat up about it. This suggestion is only meant for people with an extreme nicotine addiction and only serves as just a suggestion directed toward those who either don't want to quit, or having trouble with CT or tapering off nicotine. Draven, you do sound serious about quitting cigs, and I applaud you. But if you had any trouble or what I call "back-and-forthing" then vaping might work for you.

    I apologize in advance if this is found inappropriate by either you or the Mods or any of your friends, and I'll let myself out and not visit again. But really, it was a wonderful way for me to get maybe a little less nicotine and detox off the other major poisons in cigs. Quitting, period, is the best.But if you find you just can't make the move, try vaping.

    Now I'll go back to my little corner, lol. Have a great day, all of y'all!

    ~Fran~

  3. #933
    Wavision is offline Member
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    Draven, I second what fran said.

    I started vaping and haven't bought a pack of cigarettes in over 4 years.

    The key is to get a good vaping apparatus. Those little vape cigs they sell at the convenient store won't cut it. They don't give you a throat hit and are basically just like puffing on air.

    Before I got a good set up, I would try to vape only, but would always end up smoking cigs too.

    You gotta get a good one with a tank you fill with the juice and either takes rechargeable batteries or has an internal battery that recharges.

    Once you quit and if you do smoke a random cigarette here or there, you will be able to taste what seems like every one of the thousands of chemicals in them. Tastes horrible.

    I'm on the lowest nicotine level as well. The great thing is you can buy any flavor of juice imaginable. Dessert flavors, coffee flavors, candy flavors, beverage flavors, tobacco flavors. Anything you can imagine is out there.

    Right now I'm vaping on some apple pie flavored juice. Yum.

    You can get all set up for under $100 and will be good to go.

    Is this something you're open to??
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  4. #934
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good morning guys. I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in here. I was a smoker for about 15 years at least a pack a day. Sometimes a little more. Then I found vaping. Awesome stuff. I loved the fruity pebbles juice and there was this apple pie one I used to get that was amazing. Didn't need cigarettes at all. Absolutely loved it. Had a huge tank and a great setup, battery charger, the whole 9 yards. Truly enjoyed it.

    Here's the down side, "Popcorn Lung". Give it a google. First time I read it it shocked me, everyone's pitching a safe alternative to smoking. But there really isn't any. So from there I went back to cigarettes and stayed there for about another year before I was ready to quit. Just like all drugs, you gotta really want it to quit. No easy way out. I do know several friends who used gaping as a sort of "nicotine taper" and they had success with it. Went down in varying strengths of nicotine in the juice until they were at nothing and then just quit. Just like smoking it's breaking the physical addictions, get in the car...smoke, eat a meal....smoke, get stressed out....smoke.

    Just my 2 cents. I know that when I was vaping, I was cheefin' on that thing all day long. I'm sure I was getting more nicotine than if I was just smoking. I know I know, cigarettes have arsenic, rat poison, etc. Where the juice is just pure nicotine. Basically it just comes down to pick your poision. Popcorn lung or emphysema?? Obviously the goal is to put it down. But if I hadn't read about it I'd probably be walking around in a permanent vape cloud right now. When it comes to quitting it just takes will power and desire. You really need to want it. Nicotine is a bear!!! But it's doable.

    Just wanted to share. No judgements etc.
    Hope everyone has a great day
    Beef

  5. #935
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Thank you everyone for your thoughts on smoking. Would reply to you each individually, just too hard for me to do on my phone right now. Fran, I'll make sure to read up on your thread as well.

    I did vape for quite a while, but like Beef found I was actually using it a lot more than when I smoke cigs. Since M has asthma I smoke outside, but since the vape didn't bother her kept falling into the habit of just keeping it on me and vaping morning to night since it didn't bother her inside. I've gotten my smoking down from 3 packs a day to about half a pack or so, and when I was on the patch really seemed to help the most. I stopped using the patch when I got so sick a while back, but plan on restarting it and have been talking to the doctor about quitting as well.

    I do truly value the input of anybody on here, so didn't feel it was an intrusion in any way. Hope everybody is well, and hopefully we'll either have a new laptop soon, or my new phone upgrade will finally come in so it's easier to keep up and post!
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  6. #936
    gomphrena is offline Junior Member
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    Beef, I so appreciate your input and I was afraid something was lurking out there to just dare to make me stop it. I should have combed the Internet myself before barging in your house with my "great" ideas, lol. But seriously, the next best thing, which turns out is having no vice at all, is really THE next best thing..My mother-in-law, God rest her soul,, quit C/T after smoking 50 years, 3 packs a day, while taking care of a very sick husband for 4 years, and going through his subsequent eath. She never so much as picked up a butt. I would have known, because she couldn't keep a secret (grin).

    Wavision, looks like we got to go Googling. At least I'm very proud of the "syepdown," as it were, because I lose my apparatus all the time and can't keep up with it. I kinda like the fact that I leave it at the house if I have to stop looking for it (I'm in physical therapy 3x week right now) and I remember I wouldn't have left a pack of cigs for love nor money!!

    Anyway, again, thanks for your honesty, your laid-back responses (we Southerners like that) and your kindness. Draven, I'm on my phone as well, and no idea what this looks like so I'll have to cringe later when I read the finished product. Y'all take care and in the meantime, do come visit my house in the General neighborhood. I need to go there now and see if anyone has dropped by. Have a great Sunday!
    P.S. I don't know if any of you all are basketball fans, (we like fotvall, basketball, and baseball) we got our butt kicked by Loyola, and the SEC is out - thanks, Kentucky, we were counting on you - so we decided to follow the team that kicked our butt because of Sister Jean who is at every game, and she's like, 100!! So, go Loyola-Chicago! Kisses to Sister Jean!
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  7. #937
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Morning Draven. Just poking my head in. Seeing how the thyroid is treating you. Hope all is well. How is M liking the new job?

    Give us an update when you get time.
    Happy Easter buddy!!
    Beef
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  8. #938
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey buddy give us an update...

  9. #939
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Yay! We finally got a computer again so can do a proper update and catch-up. Nothing fancy, just one we picked up at a pawn shop that is pretty slow, but enough to get us by for now. Today is the first day I've gotten to get on it because M has so much catching up to do with work and school that she's had to take it with her to work each day.

    Things have been good here overall. Taking my meds again like I'm supposed to for my thyroid and cholesterol. Do have to work on losing even more weight and watching my carbs because I'm right in the beginning level of being diabetic, but have 3 months to get my sugars down before they put anything in my chart. Have lost over 25lbs since making the jump, but need to get down even more.

    Also saw a specialist on Monday for my back and knee and worked really well with him. Told him right up front I didn't want any narcotics and so working on alternatives to help with pain, especially on really bad days. He prescribed an anti-inflammatory and muscle relaxer to take as needed, and was really in my corner about staying away from anything addictive. We also discussed a lot of alternative treatments like acupuncture etc. so think it's good to be working on that again.

    Another thing I'm starting to do is to go back to a therapist. I know I have a lot of unresolved junk from the past I've never dealt with, and now being off the meds and getting feelings back think that's contributing to a lot of my frustration/anger etc. Bottom line I'm really focusing on all areas of my recovery, not just working on staying clean.

    M is loving her new job, and getting to finally really do what she wants to. It's a specialty clinic so is a lot more focused on certain things versus working with all kinds of treatments, but still really happy she got hired on. They're all out of town today, once a month they go to another city to work their clinic there, so will be interesting to see how that goes. Also why I was able to finally use the computer...lol

    Weather warmed up a bit, then we got snow again, now supposed to be a bit warmer today before snowing again all night and tomorrow. Wasn't dreaming of a white April, that's for sure!! Hopefully it stays nice enough to get out into the yard today to clean it up, have a boarder coming tomorrow for several days so want to be all ready for that.

    Sure there's lots more I could share, but want to get to reading other threads on here while I can. Hope everybody is doing well, and has a GREAT day today!!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-05-2018 at 09:15 AM.

  10. #940
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Thinking of you today...
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  11. #941
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey hey my friend...
    It's been a few hope all is well with you and M.
    Fire up that new computer
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  12. #942
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Been a while since I've updated so figured I'd better get to it. Things have been pretty crazy here, M is adjusting to her new schedule and we've been getting quite a few boarding clients. We've also expanded the business to go into people's homes who don't want to leave there dogs someplace else. Is starting to really keep us busy, which is definitely good.

    M only works 4 long days now, and has the weekends and a weekday off. Gives us a lot more time together which is really nice. Some of the days get really long for her, but she's doing what she loves so makes it all worth it.

    Weather has been really schizo here, and thinks it's dragging me down a bit mentally. Last week it got into the 70's then snowed again over the weekend. Has been cold all week so far, and rainy today. Last year I was pulling out the mower and other yard stuff by this time, so kind of a downer that I had to get the snow scoops out again over the weekend. Hopefully this will all be over soon because more than ready for warmer weather!!

    Other than that just continuing to throw myself into meetings, service work etc. Have had to check out some new meetings since M's days off have changed but finding some I really like. Continue to volunteer out at the dog sanctuary as well, so keeping myself plenty busy.

    Hope everybody is doing well, and having a GREAT day today!!

  13. #943
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey bud. Just stopping by to wish you and M well. And to let you know that I'm polishing the cannons, and getting my terrible towel shredder ready for week 3 preseason on MNF.

    GO BUCS!!!

    Have a great night
    Beef
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  14. #944
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    I gotta say it. May the fourth be with you!! Happy Star Wars day to a fellow nerd!!

    Hope you and M are well. Drop us an update when you got some time my friend.

    Have a good one
    Beef
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  15. #945
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Woot Woot congratulations 18 months...
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  16. #946
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Has been a crazy last month plus, but figured I should jump on and leave some kind of update. Did celebrate 18 months clean earlier this month, so really happy about that.

    Shortly after I posted the last update M lost her job. She was actually fired without any reason given, other than that she was still in her probationary period, so put us in a really, really bad spot. With no notice we were stuck figuring out how to pay the bills due etc. It also drove her into a very deep depression that she almost didn't come back from. We went through a few weeks of very touch and go times including a trip to the emergency room and stay in the hospital for her.

    Ended up selling a lot of stuff, including a great deal of my tools, and taking on a lot more responsibilities elsewhere. Opening up the dog boarding business to also go into peoples homes to take care of their dogs when their gone who don't want to board with other people, taking dogs for walks, have one client who needs meds administered to his dog a few times a day etc. Basically spending a great deal of my day running between places here and the city next to us. Has pretty much become more than a full time job for me, and has kept me running pretty ragged.

    M went back into hospitality work at a different hotel, so things are just now starting to get a bit back on track for us. It's not work she likes, but what she did before working in the vet field and so is not only familiar with it, but good at it. It was quite a blow to have to go back to that, but right now just have to do what we can to make ends meet. Plus, after that past few experiences at the various vet clinics she's worked at feels like she should put that on hold for now, even with all the schooling she's taken for it.

    Still very active in the program, and actually have taken on more responsibility there as well. Between everything that's been going on the past several weeks haven't really had any time for myself or to jump on and post. I'm way behind on threads, but will hopefully catch up at some point.

    Wanted to at least let people know I'm alive, and still hanging in there. Probably a pretty scattered post, but have a lot going on today so very preoccupied. Hope everybody else is doing well, and that I get more time to catch up more soon!!

  17. #947
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    All will be well my friend...
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  18. #948
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Waving hello my friend
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  19. #949
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Just wanted to poke my head in and say hello.

  20. #950
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    YAY....
    Woot Woot Woot....
    Two years for us my friend...
    Thank you for you...
    Love You...

  21. #951
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Ok my friend...
    Yay... Woot Woot... Congratulations...
    Today two year's....
    Soooo Proud of you Draven...
    Love You my friend....

    ~grateful for you....

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