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Starting taper to get my sanity back
  1. #31
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Hi guys...
    So Wednesday will be my last day of use. Prob last dose sometime before work. Then I have thurs n fri off, told job I couldn't work sat. So I'll have a few days. After work on Wednesday im going to my best friends house for at least the night. I'll be safe there. No drugs. She's my best friend, we met when I first got sober at 24! I'm 41 now so we've been great friends for a few years now. She's not an opiate user but is an addict. She knows me well and this disease so I feel safe staying with her. I'm getting nervous but I'm ok. Yesterday was tough. Very tough day but today is better. I just want to get going on it. I just want active using to be over. I'm so tired of it. Truly, I am. It's so strange how different I feel this time. "This time" meaning the last few months, the past couple of attempts. I didn't realize I would feel different? It's def a struggle but I know I can do it. I just want my sanity, health, and life back. I am so tired of giving to this addiction. Too tired. Ready for it to be over. I am at work so have to go for now but I'll pop in later, just wanted to update on my plans moving forward. Thanks again guys for all ur help. Hope everyone is well and enjoying their Saturday.

  2. #32
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geez_again View Post
    Hi guys...
    So Wednesday will be my last day of use. Prob last dose sometime before work. Then I have thurs n fri off, told job I couldn't work sat. So I'll have a few days. After work on Wednesday im going to my best friends house for at least the night. I'll be safe there. No drugs. She's my best friend, we met when I first got sober at 24! I'm 41 now so we've been great friends for a few years now. She's not an opiate user but is an addict. She knows me well and this disease so I feel safe staying with her. I'm getting nervous but I'm ok. Yesterday was tough. Very tough day but today is better. I just want to get going on it. I just want active using to be over. I'm so tired of it. Truly, I am. It's so strange how different I feel this time. "This time" meaning the last few months, the past couple of attempts. I didn't realize I would feel different? It's def a struggle but I know I can do it. I just want my sanity, health, and life back. I am so tired of giving to this addiction. Too tired. Ready for it to be over. I am at work so have to go for now but I'll pop in later, just wanted to update on my plans moving forward. Thanks again guys for all ur help. Hope everyone is well and enjoying their Saturday.
    So Wednesday is it!! So Glad to hear You have a Plan.....and a few days off!! Staying with a Good..."CLEAN" friend will be Good as well!! I'm Praying for U Geez.....You Got This!! Just Push Through those first few Rough Days....and be sure to keep posting during Those Days....when You can!! Stay Strong Just For TODAY!!!

  3. #33
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Thank you so much!! I'm ready. I'm done. I can do this. It's temporary and will not last forever and as you've said so worth it. It's worth it, bottom line. Hope ur having a great weekend! Keep up the good work!
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  4. #34
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geez_again View Post
    Hi guys...
    So Wednesday will be my last day of use. Prob last dose sometime before work. Then I have thurs n fri off, told job I couldn't work sat. So I'll have a few days. After work on Wednesday im going to my best friends house for at least the night. I'll be safe there. No drugs. She's my best friend, we met when I first got sober at 24! I'm 41 now so we've been great friends for a few years now. She's not an opiate user but is an addict. She knows me well and this disease so I feel safe staying with her. I'm getting nervous but I'm ok. Yesterday was tough. Very tough day but today is better. I just want to get going on it. I just want active using to be over. I'm so tired of it. Truly, I am. It's so strange how different I feel this time. "This time" meaning the last few months, the past couple of attempts. I didn't realize I would feel different? It's def a struggle but I know I can do it. I just want my sanity, health, and life back. I am so tired of giving to this addiction. Too tired. Ready for it to be over. I am at work so have to go for now but I'll pop in later, just wanted to update on my plans moving forward. Thanks again guys for all ur help. Hope everyone is well and enjoying their Saturday.

    Geez, into day three now correct? Are you still staying at the best friend's house? So what time on Wednesday was your last dose? How long did it take to get to 26 on the COWS worksheet? Any problems with the sub induction? What's your sub dose? So many questions so please update and let us know how everything went?

    I hope everything went well and you are nice and stable on a low dose of sub? Re-read my first post to you, follow Robert's sub therapy/taper plan exactly as outlined and you'll be just fine! Check in soon? God bless us all!

  5. #35
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricky71 View Post
    Geez, into day three now correct? Are you still staying at the best friend's house? So what time on Wednesday was your last dose? How long did it take to get to 26 on the COWS worksheet? Any problems with the sub induction? What's your sub dose? So many questions so please update and let us know how everything went?

    I hope everything went well and you are nice and stable on a low dose of sub? Re-read my first post to you, follow Robert's sub therapy/taper plan exactly as outlined and you'll be just fine! Check in soon? God bless us all!

    What going on with you geez? I've seen that you left a post for another member earlier today but you haven't updated your own thread in 6 days? Please update as soon as you can? We are all here to help and support you! I hope you are doing okay? God bless us all!

  6. #36
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Ty Ricky
    I was struggling pretty bad. Made it about 27 hours in gave in. Did some stuff. Just a very small amount. Waiting 24 hours n took 1mg of sub. Nothing. Waited 30 took more. Took a total of 3/4 of sub total n felt better but completely lifeless. Still sneezing. Haven't eaten in 3 days n still running to the bathroom. So today is day 2 on sub. I may have to take a lil more today cuz I can barely move. So strange it was not like this last time. Last time I took sub I felt great by day 2. Still sneezing?????? 4 times writing this! Nuts. I'm hanging in there tho I really am. Now I'm on day 2 of sub I'm not going back. These past days have been hellish. Not going back. No desire I just wanna get somewhat functioning.

  7. #37
    geez_again is offline Member
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    But no left my friends house Thursday N gave in then came home did it n waited another 24 hours to start sub. So today I believe Sunday is day 2 on sub. Better but like I said sneezing, cold, no no noooo appetite. When I'm sick in WD I get this smell that feels like its stuck to my face. It's crazy. Makes me wanna puke. So everything I try to eat I get that smell n almost vomit. Had some water n Powerade but I think food n hate to admit it, movement would do wonders. I'm almost pondering if those subs are expired. I don't wanna take too much. I don't wanna get hooked on those damn things. But I may have to take a lil more today. Idk. Successfully off junk. Just trying my best n man is this one kicking my butt. I can't believe how different these last few attempts have been. I'm with it now. I'll power thru wit sub I'm not doing junk. No desire. I will not go thru that detox n WD again. No. Hope ur well. I'll try to return I'm just very weak. Ty ty ty again for checking on me!!!!!

  8. #38
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Just saying hi. Lifeless today. Day 4. Managed to hv pizza n water but not much else. No energy but also desire to use which is a good send. I'll be back hope all is well.

  9. #39
    geez_again is offline Member
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    This one is kicking my butt. Should try dinner n a shower. Have to work tomorrow hopefully tomorrow will b better.

  10. #40
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geez_again View Post
    Just saying hi. Lifeless today. Day 4. Managed to hv pizza n water but not much else. No energy but also desire to use which is a good send. I'll be back hope all is well.
    Geez, catch me up a little cause I'm not sure I know exactly where you are at with your detox? Did you ever get more subs? I'm just concerned with you going back to work tomorrow if you are not on sub therapy? What's your thought process if you didn't get more subs? Basically let me know all about the sub situation, how you have, how much you are using, etc...? Hang in there, you're doing much better than me that's for sure! Update when you get a chance? God bless us all!

  11. #41
    geez_again is offline Member
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    I'll answer soon. First day back at work n already on toilet. I had roughly 10 subs. But they ain't touching me. Lifeless can't eat got the runs. Sneezing stopped. Hot n cold. I got about 5 subs left. I'll be back with update I'm at work

  12. #42
    geez_again is offline Member
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    I only take 1/4 at a time. But it's not enough and went thru quite a few of them the last few days. Got about 5 left.

  13. #43
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geez_again View Post
    I'll answer soon. First day back at work n already on toilet. I had roughly 10 subs. But they ain't touching me. Lifeless can't eat got the runs. Sneezing stopped. Hot n cold. I got about 5 subs left. I'll be back with update I'm at work
    Geez, you do have the 8mg subs correct? Please go back and read my 1st post to you on this thread and read Robert's sub therapy plan again? Update soon? I want to help you get on track with the sub? Best wishes... God bless us all!

  14. #44
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Yes I have the 8mg subs. Had a few strips n a few 8mg pills. Only 1 strip left n maybe 4 pills. I've taken 4mgs today. I just feel so messed up. Like lifeless like can't walk straight can't think hot n cold n that smell went away but I just got it back. No sub on me otherwise I'd take it!!! I'm almost afraid to drive I feel so out of it. Still got the runs bc I did eat a bagel n went right thru me. Once I get home I'll know for sure how many subs I have. I think I had roughly 10 or so. I had the chance last week to buy a boat load but didn't bc I don't wanna get hooked on those either. I just figured by day 5 I'd be stable on the subs but I guess not. If the subs were working at their potential I would not have the runs n my eyes would change. My pupils are saucers! Big black flying saucers. Crazy. I guess every time is different bc back in may I quit with a full year or more daily junk habit. This time I've only been using daily for 3 mos! Thank god im off work tomorrow n Thursday bc I am not good. I do not feel right n it's kinda freaky. Oh well. I'm off junk n have no desire to use. Although it would b nice to get this awful smell from my face n be able to function but after what I just went thru the past few days, no way no junk. It's just crazy. It really is. WD is no joke. Trying to stay positive n I will. I don't mean to scare anyone bc I'd gladly be going through this right now then b on junk. I mean I haven't even showered I look a mess n I'm at work. Crazy. It's gotta get better. It's gotta. When I get home I'll let u know how many subs I have so I can taper. It's just crazy it really is. The way that I feel. I mean come on??? Day 5 n this????

  15. #45
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geez_again View Post
    Yes I have the 8mg subs. Had a few strips n a few 8mg pills. Only 1 strip left n maybe 4 pills. I've taken 4mgs today. I just feel so messed up. Like lifeless like can't walk straight can't think hot n cold n that smell went away but I just got it back. No sub on me otherwise I'd take it!!! I'm almost afraid to drive I feel so out of it. Still got the runs bc I did eat a bagel n went right thru me. Once I get home I'll know for sure how many subs I have. I think I had roughly 10 or so. I had the chance last week to buy a boat load but didn't bc I don't wanna get hooked on those either. I just figured by day 5 I'd be stable on the subs but I guess not. If the subs were working at their potential I would not have the runs n my eyes would change. My pupils are saucers! Big black flying saucers. Crazy. I guess every time is different bc back in may I quit with a full year or more daily junk habit. This time I've only been using daily for 3 mos! Thank god im off work tomorrow n Thursday bc I am not good. I do not feel right n it's kinda freaky. Oh well. I'm off junk n have no desire to use. Although it would b nice to get this awful smell from my face n be able to function but after what I just went thru the past few days, no way no junk. It's just crazy. It really is. WD is no joke. Trying to stay positive n I will. I don't mean to scare anyone bc I'd gladly be going through this right now then b on junk. I mean I haven't even showered I look a mess n I'm at work. Crazy. It's gotta get better. It's gotta. When I get home I'll let u know how many subs I have so I can taper. It's just crazy it really is. The way that I feel. I mean come on??? Day 5 n this????
    You have to re-read my 1st post to you on your thread! You can't use subs like you are! You need to get more subs like I told you before starting this! You need to follow Robert's sub therapy plan exactly as outlined! Please go and read through his taper plan again and again? I provided a link for Robert's plan in that same 1st post I made to you! Do this the right way so you don't have to suffer! God bless us all!

  16. #46
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Sorry I did reread ur first post. I never intended to be on sub that long. They are still not working. I have a big 12 hour day tomorrow I'm nervous. I'm trying so hard. My so called boyfriend is not supporting me at the moment n it's effn with me big time. I cannot believe how selfish someone could be? I'm barely functioning n yet he's mad n won't answer my calls bc we were supposed to go hv dinner tonight wen I can barely function. I'm trying so hard. I'm so nervous bout long day at work tomorrow. I don't think it's too much to ask for support. I'm not up his butt. When I feel the way I do which is functioning at bear min I just want ok, it's ok, I'm here jjjjjjfor ya. But nope. Didn't go out pjto eat tonight so apparently I'm a no good loser. Well screw that. I'mTrying soooo hard. So
    Hard. Not good enoulpprlpplppp

  17. #47
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geez_again View Post
    Sorry I did reread ur first post. I never intended to be on sub that long. They are still not working. I have a big 12 hour day tomorrow I'm nervous. I'm trying so hard. My so called boyfriend is not supporting me at the moment n it's effn with me big time. I cannot believe how selfish someone could be? I'm barely functioning n yet he's mad n won't answer my calls bc we were supposed to go hv dinner tonight wen I can barely function. I'm trying so hard. I'm so nervous bout long day at work tomorrow. I don't think it's too much to ask for support. I'm not up his butt. When I feel the way I do which is functioning at bear min I just want ok, it's ok, I'm here jjjjjjfor ya. But nope. Didn't go out pjto eat tonight so apparently I'm a no good loser. Well screw that. I'mTrying soooo hard. So
    Hard. Not good enoulpprlpplppp

    First of all you need to forget about the boyfriend for the moment, your recovery is WAY more important!

    You really need to get about twenty 8mg subs and follow Robert's sub therapy/taper plan! Robert's plan is only 6-8 weeks from start to finish! You need to be on subs long enough so you can have ample time away from your doc and time to work on your addictive behaviors? Short-term tapers from subs very seldom work and your chances for relapse are very high! Subs need to be taken on a very structured schedule, not on a as needed basis? Subs need to be dosed at the same time/times everyday and doses need to be accurate!

    Most people are stable on just 2-4mg of sub per day! Maybe up to 6-8mg/day for long-term IV users?

    You say the subs aren't working but I don't see how that is possible? Do you have tabs or film? How EXACTLY are you taking the sub? Update ASAP! Hang in there... God bless us all!

  18. #48
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricky71 View Post
    First of all you need to forget about the boyfriend for the moment, your recovery is WAY more important!

    You really need to get about twenty 8mg subs and follow Robert's sub therapy/taper plan! Robert's plan is only 6-8 weeks from start to finish! You need to be on subs long enough so you can have ample time away from your doc and time to work on your addictive behaviors? Short-term tapers from subs very seldom work and your chances for relapse are very high! Subs need to be taken on a very structured schedule, not on a as needed basis? Subs need to be dosed at the same time/times everyday and doses need to be accurate!

    Most people are stable on just 2-4mg of sub per day! Maybe up to 6-8mg/day for long-term IV users?

    You say the subs aren't working but I don't see how that is possible? Do you have tabs or film? How EXACTLY are you taking the sub? Update ASAP! Hang in there... God bless us all!

    For future reference, you should always check back on your thread before you log off because someone might be leaving you a post while you are still on the forum? I left you a reply while you were still logged in and you remained logged in for several minutes after my reply was already posted! If you would of checked back you would of seen my post?

    I've also been thinking about what you said about the the subs not working? There has to be a simple reason why they're not working? I've tried subs before, when I tried them I was in full blown withdrawal roughly 24 hours after a dose of oxy. I didn't know what I was doing with subs back then except for someone telling me to take 2mg and wait an hour, I did what I was instructed and within 90 minutes I was completely fine, no withdrawals! I repeated that process for the next couple of days with the same results! Anyway, to get back to the point, the subs should be working unless they are not subs at all or you are not taking them correctly? As I mentioned in the previous post, let me know what subs you have, tabs or film? If they are tabs what is the imprint on them? If they are films, what does the package say? And lastly, how EXACTLY are you taking the subs? Update ASAP so we can hopefully figure this out so you can begin to feel better! God bless us all!

  19. #49
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Good morning
    Not much time hv to go to work. Long day n will not b able to get online until after work.
    Ricky, I said a had roughly 10 subs some strips some pills. I have 3/4 of a strip left n 2 n half pills. I feel as though they aren't working bc of the way I was feeling n my huge pupils. I never intended on being on sub long enough bc I've been down that road n just want to b clean of all chemicals. I'm feeling ok. Not sleeping too much. No appetite but trying. I'm trying so hard. I have zero desire to use. Most of my symptoms at this point is no sleep or appetite n just blah. Not gonna worry bout the so called bf bc I'm actually use to not being able to count on him. Just the way it is.
    I never log in or out, just an app on my phone?
    Also I'm not an IV user. I snorted my DOC.
    Today is day 8. Big day at work n I just want to wish everyone well and thank you for ur continued support. I need it.
    Have a great day. Hope I answered all ur questions?
    Be well, stay strong n hv a great day.

  20. #50
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Works tough but manageable so far. Tried eating. Took 3/4 of a sub n whether it's working or not idk bc my pupils are huge I am feeling mentally better. No wifi hope this posts. Keep on trucking everyone stay strong n positive be well.
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  21. #51
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geez_again View Post
    Good morning
    Not much time hv to go to work. Long day n will not b able to get online until after work.
    Ricky, I said a had roughly 10 subs some strips some pills. I have 3/4 of a strip left n 2 n half pills. I feel as though they aren't working bc of the way I was feeling n my huge pupils. I never intended on being on sub long enough bc I've been down that road n just want to b clean of all chemicals. I'm feeling ok. Not sleeping too much. No appetite but trying. I'm trying so hard. I have zero desire to use. Most of my symptoms at this point is no sleep or appetite n just blah. Not gonna worry bout the so called bf bc I'm actually use to not being able to count on him. Just the way it is.
    I never log in or out, just an app on my phone?
    Also I'm not an IV user. I snorted my DOC.
    Today is day 8. Big day at work n I just want to wish everyone well and thank you for ur continued support. I need it.
    Have a great day. Hope I answered all ur questions?
    Be well, stay strong n hv a great day.

    geez, I'm really concerned in the way that you are using the subs! What are you going to do when you run out? I'm really not trying to worry you but since you are using those subs in the manner that you are using them, once you run out I'm afraid that you will begin to withdrawal from the subs themselves?

    Let me know your thoughts and concerns going forward? I wish you all the best! God bless us all!
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  22. #52
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi, Geeze! Thanks so much for dropping by my thread. I have no experience at all with subs, so I have no advice to give you except this: Listen to Ricky, do as he says, and you should get through this fine. He's one of our resident experts, and knows what you should do! Hang in there, and again, just listen to Ricky... you'll make it!

  23. #53
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Freaking out. At work n well since I had a few days off I came in n realized I had left a recovery from addiction book in a see thru bag with mail with my name on it. Right in the hub where all well most coworkers would see it. If they went thru the recovery book I had underlined and written some of the most personal n painful thoughts. I'm terrified n crying n just really nervous that anyone would go thru a see thru bag with my personal mail n extremely personal n painful thoughts. My friend tells me I'm ok I'm overthinking and overreacting. I'm mortified and nervous and scared. My mind is out of control. But the worst case scenario is I'm outted at work with a very personal issue. Can't think straight n trying very hard to calm down. What do u think? I'll be ok right? Again worst case scenario they read what I wrote in the recovery book. Or maybe I get confronted? Idk but I feel very raw and defective and nervous. I'm trying so hard. Can someone chime in n agree with my friend that I'm overreacting? Plz? I'm scared guys. I'm kinda private person and obviously on this issue and obviously since the book was left behind for quite some time I'm sure they looked in it? Don't know. I feel so uncomfortable n overwhelmed. I'm just trying really hard n embarrassed if anyone knows at work my situation. If confronted I could say it's old. I was in recovery for almost 10 years. And how normal would it be for someone to go thru someone else's things? Plz chime in n let me know to chill out, keep my chin up and move forward. Plz. Idk wat else to say other than I feel awkward, embarrassed, nervous n a tad crazy. I haven't been sleeping well or eating at all. I'm praying for the best n to practice calming myself down n move forward! Do I sound crazy? Any thoughts or advice at this moment in time would be a god send. Ty.

  24. #54
    geez_again is offline Member
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    I mean I guess it's recovery n it is 2018 n pretty sure everyone knows someone struggling with addiction or knowing some in recovery is pretty common???? Just sux wen it's urself. Just really embarrassed IF they looked in the book where my personal feelings n events are outlined or underlined or wateva. I can't assume anything n just pray people have common courtesy to not go thru someone's else's belongings. I need to focus on here now n NOT if people "know" my biz. Again just feeling raw and need to let this one go anyway bc I cannot control anyone anyway. They are gonna do what they want or if they decide to judge me then it is what it is. I need to let this go and focus on my sanity and recovery. It just scares me and reminds me of what a lie I've been living. It's truly one of the reasons I want to be sober. I can't take the lie, the mask anymore. It may part of me but it certainly doesn't define me. I'm going to pray for comfort, move on and forward and stop my crazy mind/addiction bc that's what's happening. Insidious disease telling oh no! People know! You're a loser so u might as well use right? Damn lying addiction again. Ok I'm moving forward. Apologies on the craziness just feeling raw and exposed. Don't assume, accept myself and move on to bigger and brighter things which is essentially the truth anyway. Oh man my brains fried guys.

  25. #55
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey geez...
    Im kinda confused that's not to hard to do... Lol...
    So where you at you have meds? Cold turkey? Taper?
    Update us on what you are doing. As far as all the other drama cant control others we can only control our actions. Feeling ashamed embarrassed well hate to tell you I know Im an addict no question there so if people judge me from the stigma alone you know what I do... I show them all by my actions that I'm a productive member of society today. I show them how I'm living today. Im open and honest... Im a grateful addict...
    Again update on what and if you are taking?

  26. #56
    geez_again is offline Member
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    Thank you. Have been taking sub. Only have a few left but I'm doing ok. WD symptoms pretty much gone just a lil anxiety but that's to be expected.
    For the drama....ya. Let them think what they want. Maybe IF they did go thru my personal things and IF they chose to read what I wrote or underlined or wateva then let them judge me. Maybe IF they did read my personal stuff maybe some compassion? Whateva. I'm choosing to let it go. People can n will think wateva they want about me anyway? Regardless it's pointless for me to focus on what ifs?? Simply doesn't matter and I'm choosing to redirect my thoughts, energy on the positive. I'm choosing to focus my thoughts and energy on living in recovery.
    Again most symptoms are lack of appetite still, not sleeping too well and anxiety which is all expected. I need to prob force myself to eat. I need to be healthy physically and mentally as well. Sleep will come with time. I've always had issues with that as well. But I'm going to be more proactive on staying on track mentally, letting go of limiting beliefs, and find meetings. I do need more support in that area so meetings will be good. I do not want to use. I want to continue moving forward. Ty again so to everyone for ur support. I'm a lil scattered, of course at work so I will be back! Hv to run for now. Again ty, stay strong, be well. And ty to all veterans for ur service and dedication. Luv ya!!!

  27. #57
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricky71 View Post
    geez, I'm really concerned in the way that you are using the subs! What are you going to do when you run out? I'm really not trying to worry you but since you are using those subs in the manner that you are using them, once you run out I'm afraid that you will begin to withdrawal from the subs themselves?

    Let me know your thoughts and concerns going forward? I wish you all the best! God bless us all!
    Please update ASAP? You never did answer these questions from the post above? I'm worried and concerned about you? Also, where are you at in the detox process at the moment? Update soon please? God bless us all!

  28. #58
    Leah987 is offline Advanced Member
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    Geeze, I'm worried, too. Update, please.....and don't worry about nosy co-workers seeing your book. You are addicted, but you are trying to do something about it. That's GREAT! If they read your book and judge you, they are meddling in your private property and being judgmental. Who's sin is greater? Methinks THEIRS is.... ((hugs)) And listen to Ricky...do what he says!

  29. #59
    geez_again is offline Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    81

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    Quick update:
    Hanging in there. Had 2 small relapses. Both did nothing but cause anxiety. I do not wanna use n honestly do not know y I did. But moving on.... I'm a lil screwed. I'm down to 3/4 of an 8 mg sub. The junk is outta my system so that's fine but I cannot get more sub. Maybe in one n a half weeks but idk. Gotta run. I b bak. At work.

  30. #60
    geez_again is offline Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    81

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    Quick update #2
    Ya so not quite sure what to do with my sub situation? I may be able to get 5 in 1 and a half weeks. That's a maybe. I'm hanging in there. Mostly just hit then cold, not sleeping well n not eating well. I'm doing it tho. Going to work n trying as hard as I can. I don't wanna use no desire. Thank god. I can't go thru that again. I think I just need to hang on n use the rest 6 mg of one sub wisely. I really don't know. What I do know is I'm determined and not willing to give up. I had many many clean years before and I know as long as I don't use, it will get better with time. But I need to take care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually. Also I need to stop overthinking and stop reacting to every thought n feeling. Sometimes I think when we aren't feeling high, we start to overthink bc we get so nervous of WD and being without drugs. Idk. I'll remain positive n do my best. It's all I can do. I've been through a lot in my life n I'm a tough cookie for a lil gal. I also know I can't do this alone. Sorry a lil scattered but at work n wanted to update. Be well everyone, prayers plz!! I wish u all the best.

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