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Today makes 8 months clean. I'm finally understanding depression, worry, and stress.
  1. #1
    matt4848 is offline Member
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    Sep 2007
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    189

    Default Today makes 8 months clean. I'm finally understanding depression, worry, and stress.

    Try to keep this short and simple.

    Today makes 8 months clean from opiates. With the help of therapy and correct medication for my original abuse cause, I have absolutely no want anymore. I finally understand chemical depression from drugs - and the true effect on the body and mind.

    Finally understanding how proper diet, sleep and exercise also effect the body - as on drugs you ignore most of that.

    Currently taking an anti-anxiety medication - due to social anxiety - Don't mean to sound arrogant - but being 6'4 and handsome - caused guys to pick on me - girls saw I never fought back.... let's just say that will NEVER happen again. If your drunk or arrogant and pick on me - I wont say anything. I'll just pop you in the mouth. Period - as most likely the assholes of the world need it because no one has ever done it before. Maybe if someone hurts you back - you might just change. And to be honest - it would be worth a trip to jail for most of the assholes that picked on me.

    Change is very hard to do, but with willpower it can be done - and although it may take awhile - you will always see positive results.

    Still struggle with depression and lack of drive - but I'm through abusing myself - because I let the world abuse me first - and I never had an opinion of my own - so I started abusing myself with drugs and listening to what I thought they were telling me.

    Finding the true root of the problem - letting the world pick on me - and how it led me to drugs has been the best moment of my life.

    Well, aside from my College Graduation in a field I truly love. Television - not for the shows - but for the characters and people in them.

    The best advice I can give to someone trying to get clean - is stop expecting things to change overnight (wiether it be the 9th night - or the 30th night - the body and mind cannot fix itself overnight or for some within 8 months. I dont say this to scare you - but to help come to accept the situation your in - and how best to defeat it. Hope is a good thing, but expecting to you'll wake up 'ok and happy' on day 30 or day 90 - is a bad idea - its like setting a goal - and once it fails you will only feel worse due to mental stress.

    Drug addicts like us cover the pain with a drug of choice (opiates, alchol, weed, speed you name it for me - everything except LSD/shrooms - I wanted to feel good, not hallucinate) and even when we stop taking harder drugs, we use the excuse of lower drugs like pot 'to calm' the withdrawls and depression - when in reality - all were doing is taking something again to effect our state of mind and escape.

    If you want to stop opiates or drug of choice - then make the decision to change, and that means making the decision everyday, all day. Even though you may not be taking opiates, smoking weed or drinking to calm withdrawls is only extending them - drugs are controlled for a reason - anything that effects mood/happyness is illegal for a reason. Too many of us will abuse them because someone or something has abused us before - weither its a father, mother or the world in general. The only way to change is to stop making excuses, and change.

    Thanks for reading this.

    I highly recommend reading the mindfulness and acceptance workbook for axiety and depression. It contains a huge section on chemical dependance and the effects on the mind, stress levels, and body.

    Matthew

  2. #2
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Dec 2012
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    OH-IO
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    Quote Originally Posted by matt4848 View Post
    Try to keep this short and simple.

    Don't mean to sound arrogant - but being 6'4 and handsome - caused guys to pick on me - girls saw I never fought back.... let's just say that will NEVER happen again. If your drunk or arrogant and pick on me - I wont say anything. I'll just pop you in the mouth. Period - as most likely the assholes of the world need it because no one has ever done it before. Maybe if someone hurts you back - you might just change. And to be honest - it would be worth a trip to jail for most of the assholes that picked on me.

    Matthew
    Love your post man...

    I've always had that additude and it works. It's been natural for me but it is very true that if somebody tries to tease you or pick on you...blast them, in public if possible, and it won't happen again...

    I've NEVER bullied anybody but if somebody steps on my toes I'm stepping on their throat, in front of their friends...

    I too have bouts with social anxiety, but I for some reason just lack confidence at times and feel like an ugly troll...but what evs...

    Congrats on the 8 months Matt (I'm at close to 2 months)...

    You made a lot of very good points in you post about changing your lifestyle---diet-sleep-exercise-etc..

    Stay thirsty my friend...

    -Buck

  3. #3
    gottagetwell is offline Member
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    Feb 2013
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    189

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    8 months is great and you sound like a much stronger person than you were before. So pleased for you. I can relate to the anxiety and such and the feeling ugly even though I was scouted my model agencies. Learning to love myself now. Keep it up, good to read your post!

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