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Young & Dumb
  1. #1
    TheThinker is offline New Member
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    Default Young & Dumb

    Hi, I am writing this after reading so many posts and realizing how many people go through the same problems as me.
    I am a 23 year old going to turn 24 in May trying to figure out my life in California.
    I had recently met the love of my life in August of 2017,
    He was probably the most funniest, intelligient person I have ever met. Beautiful kind and amazing.
    But of course I am the opposite, I have a drug addiction. Something I never thought I would say, something I still deny to this day.
    I am wasting my life and youth on norco. 10mg/325
    I remember the first pill I got was from my best friend when I was 21 I never realized how on and off again this addiction was until I just wrote it down. 3 years wow, wasted by this damn pill.
    I have severe depression and anxiety and that was the miracle pill that made it all go away. Until recently my boyfriend seen I was texting my ex's for pills. or my aunts, or uncles, or grandmother. Everyone has a damn problem, My mother had a problem but got clean when I was 3. My grandmother is suffering from the addiction of norco.
    So why did I follow in there footsteps? I just fill a void. If I can get my hands on them I will demolish 10 a day.
    I just realized how bad its getting because I am choosing to risk my relationship with my first love to a miracle pill which isnt any miracle at all.
    I'm only 2 days clean and I need advice on how to stay clean also how to get energy the natural way and not look for pills to keep me happy.
    Thank you
    Kind Regards, TheThinker that Thinks 2 much

  2. #2
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello Thinker welcome to the forum...
    Congratulations on taking the first step. That's a hard one admitting we have a problem so proud of you. I can promise you that it doesn't get better this is a progressive and fatal disease. I was 18 when I met my first love "opiates" and came out of my drug induced fog a half century older. The cycle of addiction just keeps repeating itself we have to want this for ourselves. For this addict I was sick and tired of being sick and tired the running and chasing and getting more drugs. Ughhh just a repetitive cycle. We can not do this alone have you looked into getting face to face support Na Aa counseling therapy? One addict helping another deal with all your going through. Keep posting and reading we are all here to support you. Again welcome to a new way of life...
    ***Stay Strong for Today***

  3. #3
    ForMe30 is offline Member
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    Default

    I'm sorry you're going through this. Can your mom help since she is clean? Can you go to meetings?
    I'm sure you heard of the Thomas recipe. If not, you can google it. Get all the supplements on there just be careful with the Xanax. Imodium is a lifesaver the first week....Usually you can take 8mg (4mg in am 4mg in pm) the first 4-5 days. Then taper down everyday by 2mg. There's other supplements you can add but not quite sure what they are but someone will come along and tell you.

    Exercise as much as you can. Go for walks, drop down and do push-ups, sit-ups, anything. Listen to music, have sex, eat chocolate, this will help you produce feel good endorphins. That will help bring your brain functions back to normal quicker. That being said, everyone is different. Energy is what always got me in the end but it does come back. You're so young so now is the time to stop!

    If you suffered with depression and anxiety before your addiction then maybe you should see a therapist or doctor for an antidepressant, or something natural like CBD oil. I personally take Wellbutrin and it has saved me in the past.

    Keep posting and keep reading.

    It sounds like you really care for this man. Maybe he can hold you accountable. Make a plan with him and someone else but especially yourself.

  4. #4
    TheThinker is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForMe30 View Post
    I'm sorry you're going through this. Can your mom help since she is clean? Can you go to meetings?
    I'm sure you heard of the Thomas recipe. If not, you can google it. Get all the supplements on there just be careful with the Xanax. Imodium is a lifesaver the first week....Usually you can take 8mg (4mg in am 4mg in pm) the first 4-5 days. Then taper down everyday by 2mg. There's other supplements you can add but not quite sure what they are but someone will come along and tell you.

    Exercise as much as you can. Go for walks, drop down and do push-ups, sit-ups, anything. Listen to music, have sex, eat chocolate, this will help you produce feel good endorphins. That will help bring your brain functions back to normal quicker. That being said, everyone is different. Energy is what always got me in the end but it does come back. You're so young so now is the time to stop!

    If you suffered with depression and anxiety before your addiction then maybe you should see a therapist or doctor for an antidepressant, or something natural like CBD oil. I personally take Wellbutrin and it has saved me in the past.

    Keep posting and keep reading.

    It sounds like you really care for this man. Maybe he can hold you accountable. Make a plan with him and someone else but especially yourself.

    Replying:

    He does hold me accountable he use to be a heavy user after he had cancer when he was young but he stopped everything about a year and a half ago which im so proud of.
    Yesterday he almost broke up with me and that was so scary because I know my addiction would be in full effect we did talk it out but he needs me to stop. I want to stop and no I haven't went to any narcotic meting but i really need to make an effort to go.
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  5. #5
    Anonymous Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheThinker View Post
    I'm only 2 days clean and I need advice on how to stay clean also how to get energy the natural way and not look for pills to keep me happy.
    Thank you
    Kind Regards, TheThinker that Thinks 2 much
    I'd look into "low dose naltrexone" not to be confused with regular naltrexone or Vivitrol. It's FDA approved at a regular dose 50 mg, but you only take 3 mg at night - a minuscule amount. This is an entirely different use from its original intent. LDN leaves your system in only a few hours at night. While it's there, it starves your brain of natural endorphins which fakes the brain out to make up to 300% more the next day naturally on the rebound.

    It's the best I've found to replace the opiate that relieves depression.

    I tried Wellbutrin. It caused short term memory loss where I almost crashed because I forgot a car was coming, made my ears ring, and raised my blood pressure. It is helpful for many, but is also a very harsh drug and not natural.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-07-2018 at 08:47 AM.

  6. #6
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Thinker day 2 amazing stay the course you will feel like you have a flu prolly a week. Thomas recipe is a good suggestion Minus the benzos. You should try to stay the course no other drugs is going to make the withdrawals go away I promise you Ive tried everything the only thing that works to get clean is willpower no mind mood altering chemicals. You will be fine I promise you. Everything you are feeling and going through is all normal part of the process. Hang in there push yourself get up get out keep moving forward... You don't want to replace one drug for another....
    Catrina and Beefaroni7272 like this.
    ***Stay Strong for Today***

  7. #7
    Anonymous Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lvg nghtmare View Post
    I promise you Ive tried everything the only thing that works to get clean is willpower no mind mood altering chemicals. You will be fine I promise you. Everything you are feeling and going through is all normal part of the process. Hang in there push yourself get up get out keep moving forward... You don't want to replace one drug for another....
    Did you have a bad experience with LDN? I'm surprised because it's not really much of anything since it's such a teeny tiny amount. But we are all different. It's been proven quite safe and makes most people healthier especially their liver numbers and inflammation. Some initial side effects within the first week are people have disrupted sleep and some vivid dreams. They usually disappear soon after and is so worth the natural endorphin boost that comes within a week or two. I felt it after a week, but it can take longer.

    The natural endorphin boost is your own brain making more of them, not giving it drugs.


    Love to hear your experience with it.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-07-2018 at 02:35 PM.

  8. #8
    Anonymous Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheThinker View Post
    I have severe depression and anxiety and that was the miracle pill that made it all go away.
    And IMHO "getting clean" will not alleviate your pre-existing before drugs depression. You will obviously be better off getting clean than on drugs, but then what? Back to depression? This is why I fear so many people return to drugs. We are just seeking to be normal and it gets out of control as opposed to recreational users who partied too much. Maybe the partiers are the people who can get clean and go to talk therapy - and that's wonderful truly. Me, I need my brain to work more efficiently hence my suggestion in my previous post. I hope you look into it, and at the very least take it as a serious, well researched, consideration.

  9. #9
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello just checking in on you today... Keep posting we are all here to support you...
    ***Stay Strong for Today***

  10. #10
    TheThinker is offline New Member
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    Unhappy Concerns

    So I am only about 4 days clean today and I ended up stealing some Xanax from my grandmother which was a huge mistake because I thought they were .1mg but they ended up being 1mg
    I took 3 dont feel good today i have been having anxiety attacks and I just don't feel on the happy side because no matter what drug i take I abuse
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  11. #11
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheThinker View Post
    So I am only about 4 days clean today and I ended up stealing some Xanax from my grandmother which was a huge mistake because I thought they were .1mg but they ended up being 1mg
    I took 3 dont feel good today i have been having anxiety attacks and I just don't feel on the happy side because no matter what drug i take I abuse
    OK. That was a mistake but that's done and over. Now, you've made the first step in acknowledging and beginning to learn what it's going to mean to live as an addict. It's a glitch in our makeup and will never go away once we turn that switch on and your's has been turned on. It's not the end of the world unless you allow it to be. You are only four days clean and you have lots of healing and balancing to do. Even in the best of circumstances, our emotions and anxiety levels are all over the place for a while. Give it some time and it will settle down. You mentioned that you have had to deal with anxiety and depression for a long time even before you began to self medicate. OK. Maybe, probably some of that will still be there even after you've balanced out as well as you're going to but there are other things that your doctor can give you that aren't opiates or benzos. A lot of doctors (not all) grab the prescription pad to order benzos at least short term to treat anxiety but for us, that's definitely not the answer. Believe me, if you think opiates are a bear you don't even want to know what it would be like to become addicted to benzos.

    Hang in there and hang tough and with persistence you along with a good doctor will learn how to treat your issues without addictive substances. Sometimes it's hit or miss and takes a few tries before you land on what will work best for you. I know that it's hard and scary but given the circumstances when you make that visit to you doctor I would encourage you to share your addiction with him/her. You don't have to share all the sordid details but you should mention that you have issues with addictive substances. Especially early on we can't imagine saying that because the "what if's" will immediately pop into our heads. "What if" I get hurt or need surgery. Don't even worry about that because if that does happen, your doctor and surgeon will help you if you do need pain control and should be there to help you leave them behind when the time comes. We can't live our lives driven by the what if's.

    Consider the benzo incident a lesson learned and move on. Now you know.

    Peace,

    Cat
    TheThinker and Lvg nghtmare like this.

  12. #12
    TheThinker is offline New Member
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    Hey Everyone,

    Update on my sobriety.
    Today I have been having a rough day.
    At work I had some panic attacks and lately I have been calling in sick or leaving early.
    I don't want it to affect my job but life is hard, i know I sound weak but I am hurt,
    And I don't know what to do about the crippling panic attacks.

  13. #13
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey. Sorry you're having a rough day. And a little hiccup on the benzos. Cat already spoke to you about those and how much of a bear they can be so I will leave it alone. Am I right in seeing you're at 5 days now? That's gotta feel pretty good right??? You should be starting on the down swing of the physical stuff soon. Everything you're feeling is normal and part of the process. It's tough, grueling, and seems like it's never ending. But the clouds lift, the sun shines and you'll begin to see bits and pieces of your old self coming back, working to piece it together. It is sooooooo worth it, I promise you that.

    As far as the anxiety goes. During my detox it went through the roof for about a week, coupled with depression and that awful lead suit feeling. And Cat told me to do some meditation. I gotta say it worked. Just sat down in a quiet room, closed my eyes nd just focused on my breathing for 20-30 minutes. Maybe mix in some nature sounds. Very peaceful and it definitely helped out!! Worth a shot, whT do you have to lose??

    Keep it rolling!! You're doing this!!
    Have a great night!
    Beef
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  14. #14
    TheThinker is offline New Member
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    Default Thanks

    Thank you so much everyone for everything it means so much starting this forum really has helped.
    I didn't feel like anyone had the same problems or how big my problem was.
    It just feels really good to know that I am 5 days and ready to make some changes, Will power is very low right now tho
    Question... What do you do when you are about to relapse?


    TheThinker that thinks 2 much
    Catrina and Beefaroni7272 like this.

  15. #15
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    When I was detoxing off subs I had one moment where I thought all it would take is a phone call to my sub doctor make up some b.s. excuse why I missed my appt. And he would call in a few subs to my pharmacy and make me a new appt. It was that easy. But I caught myself. I started thinking why I was putting myself through this h.ell in the first place, who I was doing it for. And do I really have the strength to do this all over again. At this point I was about 2.5 weeks clean and depression was hitting me like a Mack truck. The answer was no!! Over and over again. I would not put my family through this again. I k ew these little orange strips were killing me and I was the only one who could dig myself out of this hole.

    This too shall pass!!!
    Recognize it as a craving and move on. You don't need them anymore. You are stronger than any pill!!
    ForMe30 likes this.

  16. #16
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheThinker View Post
    Thank you so much everyone for everything it means so much starting this forum really has helped.
    I didn't feel like anyone had the same problems or how big my problem was.
    It just feels really good to know that I am 5 days and ready to make some changes, Will power is very low right now tho
    Question... What do you do when you are about to relapse?


    TheThinker that thinks 2 much
    I know this sounds simplistic but it worked for me. I went into the bathroom and looked myself straight in the eye. Then I promised myself that I would get through today and not use anything and gave myself permission to reconsider tomorrow. I just kept doing that over and over again. It somehow helped to know that all I had to do was to get through the now. In fact, in the beginning I was doing that in half hour increments, then 1 hour, then til noon, til five and so on. I noticed that I'd be craving all day horribly until I knew it was too late to make a call. The anxiety/cravings would almost entirely vanish once I knew I had no choice but to get through the night and I could reconsider in the morning. In the morning, I'd do it all over again until I was able to make that promise in the morning and not have to do it again that day. I swear it works!

    Peace,

    Cat
    OKC-26, Lvg nghtmare and gomphrena like this.

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