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Addicted to Percocet..
  1. #1
    Robcol is offline New Member
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    Default Addicted to Percocet..

    Hello all, hope everyone is. I started taking these percocets as far back in 2005 i believe, i'am the following, bipolar, adhd, very violent and offensive. I hate myself, i feel like the biggest loser, lost my job, families trust and most of all my beautiful family. While taking these pills they were make me euphoric and happy. I guess over time my girlfriend grew tired off it, she did help me out, i went to two recoveries, i believe that recoveries don't work.. my understanding is that 1% only make it. I just got back from south america, we were building an apartment, but she threw me out.. couldn't take seeing me high all of time.... i don't blame her. The problem with me is, i torture myself because of all the wrongs that i've done in life, made alot of people suffer, I'am 41 yrs. old now and I'm less then zero. I've raised my hand on her and that's something I'm not proud to say (took alot for me to say that) i try to control myself during fights, leave to another room or leave the house and she was always behind me offending me or saying really hurtful things like "your a loser, you have nothing in life" or "you are not a man, you can't even support your family" she was right... so for me not to feel anything, i would self medicate..

    I will not lie, i traveled a great deal with her through south america and while on the percocets, it was the greatest, never had a problem with her, unfortunate it sucks to say it, but its the truth. I've tried a bunch of medecine and it just doesn't work. I had to take a percocet with a couple of ritalins just to write this, that's how down i'am.

    Sorry for the grammar..

    Thanks for looking at my post...

  2. #2
    Robcol is offline New Member
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    Sorry, im new to this, for some reason it's not giving me the tool to edit my original above post. Anyways how do i stop taking this medicine? last time i did it i was in a rehab without any type of drug, being that i was so numb for so many years, i guess all of my real feelings came back and attacked me and boy... was it the worst. I got to the point i was stuttering and didn't want to be around anyone, so yes I'am very afraid to go cold turkey, only God knows what he has in store for me, i also attended a AA meeting just an hour ago.

    Thank you to all the people for sharing your stories, i don't feel alone anymore, i wish we could do going Cold Turkey in groups, any takers in NY?

  3. #3
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    The fastest way to stop is to just quit cold turkey. I know, it sucks. Been there. Or, if you have the willpower to taper off, do that. Most addicts find it very difficult to taper with pills lying around. But give it a shot. You should use the Thomas Recipe if you go cold turkey.

    It's great that you're going to meetings. Keep going! It will make all the difference in the world. Do you have a sponsor?

    You should start a new thread on the Need to Talk board. There's a lot more traffic there.
    Kat

  4. #4
    Robcol is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iwantoff2013 View Post
    The fastest way to stop is to just quit cold turkey. I know, it sucks. Been there. Or, if you have the willpower to taper off, do that. Most addicts find it very difficult to taper with pills lying around. But give it a shot. You should use the Thomas Recipe if you go cold turkey.

    It's great that you're going to meetings. Keep going! It will make all the difference in the world. Do you have a sponsor?

    You should start a new thread on the Need to Talk board. There's a lot more traffic there.
    Kat
    Thanks, but it's not easy...no family, knowing that i have to start from zero, suffer from depression and much more.... i don't know, i will try, i have another meeting to attend to today. Thanks for replying..

  5. #5
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi Rob - I can certainly relate to most of what you wrote. I too lost most everything that was important to me due to my addiction and drug abuse. Oh what I wouldn't give to get back those 17+ years I was under the spell and chasing the high that would lead to my downfall. The BEAST (drugs) will take EVERYTHING from you if you let it.

    I lost my home, job, car, money, friends, and most importantly my family would have nothing to do with me. All trust and respect was gone which totally destroyed me. And the love of my life, my GF gave me plenty of chances to get my life in order and I failed at that. Her leaving was the final straw that sent me spiraling to rock bottom. I think I was beyond rock bottom if that's even possible? I was a shell of the former person I was. I could tell you LOTS more, but you get the point.

    But guess what Rob - you CAN change things - you CAN make something of yourself, and your life. You CAN get drugs out of your life, for good! There is only one thing you have to do that will make a difference.....

    YOU HAVE TO WANT IT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD TO SUCCEED!!!

    Doesn't matter what you do, or how you do it when you attempt to stop the viscous cycle of chasing and taking drugs. If you don't WANT TO CHANGE - it will NEVER happen for you!!! You have to literally get PI$$ED at the drugs for taking control of your life and fight back with everything you have inside.

    It's possible, if you really do WANT IT! I'm proof of that today!

    It's the fight of a lifetime - FOR YOUR LIFE!!!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 10-27-2014 at 05:36 AM.
    1day-at-a-time and gsvitzer like this.

  6. #6
    Robcol is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randy35 View Post
    Hi Rob - I can certainly relate to most of what you wrote. I too lost most everything that was important to me due to my addiction and drug abuse. Oh what I wouldn't give to get back those 17+ years I was under the spell and chasing the high that would lead to my downfall. The BEAST (drugs) will take EVERYTHING from you if you let it.

    I lost my home, job, car, money, friends, and most importantly my family would have nothing to do with me. All trust and respect was gone which totally destroyed me. And the love of my life, my GF gave me plenty of chances to get my life in order and I failed at that. Her leaving was the final straw that sent me spiraling to rock bottom. I think I was beyond rock bottom if that's even possible? I was a shell of the former person I was. I could tell you LOTS more, but you get the point.

    But guess what Rob - you CAN change things - you CAN make something of yourself, and your life. You CAN get drugs out of your life, for good! There is only one thing you have to do that will make a difference.....

    YOU HAVE TO WANT IT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD TO SUCCEED!!!

    Doesn't matter what you do, or how you do it when you attempt to stop the viscous cycle of chasing and taking drugs. If you don't WANT TO CHANGE - it will NEVER happen for you!!! You have to literally get PI$$ED at the drugs for taking control of your life and fight back with everything you have inside.

    It's possible, if you really do WANT IT! I'm proof of that today!

    It's the fight of a lifetime - FOR YOUR LIFE!!!
    You got me in tears.. thanks alot. I'am really afraid of my depression. I'm not justifying what i do, theres a bunch of articles pertaining to my disease; depression. Back then in the 1940-50's, they would cure patients with oxycodones, there are alot of articles and alot of doctors that are in favor of oxys to cure depression and they are trying to bring that remedy back.

    Hey where are you at it says 10:35? just curious

  7. #7
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Rob,

    This is probably a silly question considering your history with depression, but have you ever been on an anti-depressant? If so, which ones have you tried? An AD would obviously be a much healthier and safer alternative to opiates. Ever tried cognitive therapy? There have been some huge advances in that area. My sister's therapist uses cognitive therapy and it has worked wonders. She's also taking an AD (and another psychotropic med; can't remember the name) which has helped tremendously. She has struggled with depression and being bipolar her whole adult life. I believe she also takes Valium, but only when necessary, not daily. Her condition has drastically improved over the last 6 months.

    I saw on another thread that you filled your script this morning. Once you get serious about quitting Percocet, you'll have to eliminate all avenues to get more. I ended up telling my doctor what was going on and told the pharmacy to note my file with "no narcotics/opiates". Had I not done that, I would have always had that "safety net" which is much too tempting!

    Kat
    Last edited by Anonymous; 10-27-2014 at 12:42 PM.

  8. #8
    blueopiate is offline Member
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    Robo,

    Perks were my DOC, well any opiate besides H, but mostly perks. The WD is wicked from them. Its worse then hydro WD. If you can get to a cheap doctor and at least just get catapres it will help you greatly. I saw that you lost just about everything and I'm very sorry that was the road for you, but it was. Nothing you can do about the past now except make the future right. You can quit if you want to, you can rebuild, you can be whatever you put your mind on. The real truth is you have to keep focused on not using. Things we do not pay attention to wither away and die. I had a pretty bad habit for 10 years but am at day 20 CT. If you are worried about the cost of the script, catapres is very cheap to buy outright. I hope the best for you and I'm in your corner.

    I have bad depression and am taking celexa for it. It is helping me. I should have been taking it for the past 10 years but I found opiates and they made me feel better than any antid. But slowly but surely, my depression got worse from running out early and being in WD half the month every month for a long time.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 10-27-2014 at 05:58 PM.
    1day-at-a-time likes this.

  9. #9
    Robcol is offline New Member
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    Ritalins are done, I've taken 3 percs today, attended morning mass, prayed outside of church and still no sign of happiness.

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