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Addicted spouse?
  1. #1
    JessiFox is offline New Member
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    Question Addicted spouse?

    I hope it's alright for me to be posting here when I'm not the one with an addiction...I've only looked through a few threads so far, but it seems (understandably) that most people here are posting for themselves, not others?

    My husband was born with health problems, had his first surgery as a baby and has had so, so many since. So many times when doctors just throw heavy duty pain meds his way, from a very young age. Most of the time it hadn't seemed to be a problem...he's been on varying doses of hydromorphone for years, and I believed he was taking it as prescribed. (Which is still a heavy thing, I know). He's actually been in the hospital for most of 2015 so far, in and out, for various problems related to his other health problems. There have been a few times where nurses made accusations about him not seeming to take his pain medicine properly, and I was so blind and naive, instantly defending him. Nonetheless, they were giving his pain medicine in applesuace for a while but for the past few weeks most of the time he's been getting it normally again.

    Over the last week I've caught him more than once trying to inject it. He has continued to lie and try to hide it...now today he broke down again crying and swearing that it's the last time, that he can handle coming off of it and wants, etc. etc.

    I'm worried about trying to handle it on our own. For one thing, my ability to trust him has been severely damaged. Not to mention, with his medical problems in addition to this addiction, I'm worried that the only safe way to go about coming off of them would be under close medical supervision. I suppose we could let his doctors know that he is unhappy being on the pain medicine, feels he is too dependent and having problems with it, without going into too much detail?

    I'm just wondering how best I can help. If there's anything you think I should know, or any advice you might have at all really. I'm at a bad place right now...feeling naive and depressed and kind of worthless as a spouse.
    tommyboy1970 likes this.

  2. #2
    1DaysPay is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Jessi,

    Doctors prescribing pain meds is where the addiction usually stems from. At first its to cope with the pain, then the body adapts to the dosage. More and more is needed to keep the pain away. Before you know it you cannot live without the meds. If you dont take them you will get very sick (withdrawls). These drugs will take over your life, quickly. It takes an extremely strong willed person to get off. More importantly the person really truly needs to want to get off. Not just say it.

    If there is no plan set in place for the detox process, and after the physical withdrawls are over, it will all be for nothing. Once you are off you need to stay off. Not even one pill in a small dose. It will just turn out to be a domino effect and you will find youself at day one again. The smallest things can trigger the urge to use, weather it is a routine that he has stuck to or object around the house that he used to get his fix. I have read some people even rearrange their furnature to help with the change of routines.

    I cannot stress enough that your husband will need to want this more than anything in the world. He needs to admit he has an addiction. He needs to be honest with himself that he really truely wants to get clean. If you go into the process halfa$$ed he will fail.

    There is a wealth of knowledge on this forum. You can learn a lot by going to the "Need to Talk' section on here. Everyone's story is different, and you can learn many good tips, tricks, techniques, and methods for going through a successful detox process. Many on here have had long time heavy dose addictions, myself included, but with the right mindset and support living a clean life is possible. You just have to WANT IT!

    Look into the thomas recipe and suboxone induction methods. These will make the withdrawl symptoms most bareable.

    I wish you all the best. Stay supportive and strong. Your husband will need it if he decides he really wants to get clean. Take it one minute at a time.

    Hide the clocks.

    1dayspay

  3. #3
    JessiFox is offline New Member
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    Thanks for your reply and advice 1day, it means a lot to hear your perspective.

    That was my concern as well- how much does he want it >>. just saying what I want to hear. I believe that he DOES want it, but I'm concerned about just how much he'll have to want it, and continue wanting it, for it to work long term. He says that he wants it more than anything. He's wanting to talking to his primary doctor about a specific plan- a timeline, ways to manage wds and the like....that seems encouraging to me.

    I'll take a further look around the forum for ideas as well, I was hoping that between people in a similar situation to me and people on the other side of the problem, that it would be a helpful resource all around. I have very little experience with this overall, and absolutely NO experience trying to help someone get off of it, so it's all new territory for me.

    Thanks again for your help, and congrats on your accomplishments staying clean.

  4. #4
    1DaysPay is offline Junior Member
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    Also, look in to NA and AA meetings, programs are availalbe and they can be a life saver. He should also get on this site, too and educate himself on what to expect from detoxing as well as chat with everyone here. We are all here to help eachother. Simply talking about what hes going through, many people can relate and it will help him more than you (or he) know.

    Glad to see you doing your homework and looking for help. He will definately need your support throught the whole process. Not just the withdrawl part, but the months and years to follow as well.

    I wish you both all the best to a proper, healthy detox. Hopefully this will be the only time it will need to be done.

    1dayspay

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