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Just Can't Understand How This Happened...
  1. #1
    sjs1417 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2014

    Default Just Can't Understand How This Happened...

    I am new to the site, but need some guidance. I am not sure if I am addicted to any one medication. I will take anything, and take it in bulk all in one day, ie: (13) 50mg Lyrica, (6) 5/325mg Vicodin, (5) 15mg Morphine (time release pills), (2) 750MG Robaxin, 3 shots Vodka, and smoked a pack of cigs. I have also taken Tramadol. I would take 14 at one time, and then take more if it wore off. I have also done Gabapentin, but it does nothing for me, and OxyCodone, which I love, but it is a lot harder to come by.

    The drug taking started 5 years ago, but has become an everyday thing, if possible, in the last two years. I got out of rehab Apr 3rd, and lasted about a week before I was seeking, and stealing any kind of pill that would stop the cravings.

    I guess my question is, why??? I want to be drug free, but have not been successful. So, do I not really want to quit?? In the past two months, I have averaged 1.5 AA/NA meetings per day. I believe totally in God, yet have such a hard time praying, let alone, surrendering.

    I am truly addicted, and I am powerless over my addiction. I cannot identify my addiction, all I know is I am an addict. I am an addict to food, pills, cigs, etc... Can you give me some kind of help??? I am getting desperate, and beginning to wonder if I am a hopeless cause. I have been to therapy, and learned my young life spawned low self-esteem. Believe it or not, I do love myself, which three months ago, I thought would be impossible. I am a 53 year old woman that is an intelligent, caring, non-judgmental, beautiful person. Everyone who knows me loves me. I have life long friendships, and my new friendships with my meeting peeps are already starting to go that way. I just don't understand why I just don't stop. What am I not getting? Can someone please help me get it so I can get on with my wonderful life???

    FYI, I also posted this on Ask Ruth.

    Thanks... Miss Q

  2. #2
    laydee is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014


    Hi there, I understand completely. My brother n sister are both serious script users. I myself was one for 2yrs followed by 2yrs on subs. I am now clean for 64days. I believe u do wanochange.u have to find the will inside u. The one thing that will make u stop n think before u go for that pill. First of all u need to change ur phone number n stop talking to (if u are) ur old addict friends or the people u get these pills from. The meetings and forums will help. If u cant do it without some sort of help then maybe suboxine might help just for a short time to stop u from reaching for that pill. You can do this, tell yourself that. Every day or hr! Whatever makes that difference. We are here to help you. And understand what ur going through. Just the fact that your on here asking for help should prove ur strength and determination. U can do this. Stay strong my friend. Ttfn jaimie

  3. #3
    heroinhell is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2014


    One day at a time my friend, ive been through withdrawals so many times just recognize those addictive thoughts. When you think "okay i can use today" dont keep that in your mind , realise its your addiction talking and ignore it. Get some exercise, do some hobbies, make new friends. Life will improve, you will feel better.

    Stay sober, its worth it and you will have a way better life !!!!!!

    cheers bud keep in there. I know the struggle my friend. Been an oxy/>>>>>> user for 1.5 years methadone for 6 months finally off everything . im on day 4 going strong.

  4. #4
    Anonymous Guest


    Hey HH, I see you got banned, probably your choice of words I assume. Start a new account and a new thread on "Need to talk", I was looking forward to following your success.

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