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Like many others on here. I'm coming of Oxycodone.
  1. #1
    JohnP45 is offline New Member
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    Default Like many others on here. I'm coming of Oxycodone.

    Hi all,

    I've been lurking here for the last few hours and I am blown away by how much info is here and how supportive and friendly everyone is. It makes me feel much better about my current situation.

    I have been taking painkillers for 2.5 years. I was up to 50 milligrams of oxy a day up until a few weeks ago. I went in for a routine visit to my pain Dr. On 12/30 and he hit me with a surprise pee test. Normally he had been doing them every 6 months.

    I had a bit of wine the night before. Alcohol is not permitted. I was screwed. I explained this to the Doc. and he agreed to let me come back in a week to retest. However this was what I needed to decide to get off these evil bastards. Why am I peeing in a cup like I'm on parole? Why am I demeaning myself this way?

    I had severe TMJ/facial pain two years ago which drove me to these pills. But the pain has gotten better and pretty much resolved itself over time as my bite has stabilized. But I did not tell the Dr that? No I liked the way the pills made me feel. In fact this is my second go round. I was on Vicodin back in '06.

    Anyway I have been doing my own half-assed wean. I am down to 10 mg a day. And today was the hardest. I have RLS, insomnia and anxiety.

    But I am also VERY emotional. I'm a 45 year old guy who is normally pretty even keeled. But over the last few days, I am crying off and on at the drop of a hat.

    Also I've been sneezing like crazy with a super stuffy nose. It is really annoying.

    After everything I've read though, I'm going cold turkey starting tomorrow. Five days and I'll be clear of this poison.

  2. #2
    JohnP45 is offline New Member
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    I caved and took a quarter at 4 AM. The RLS and >>>>ty sleep was horrible. I am determined to take none today. I have to work and take the kids to school. This sucks.

  3. #3
    JohnP45 is offline New Member
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    1 PM and I have still taken no pills since a quarter of a oxy 10 at 4AM.

    The RLS is bad, but the lack of energy is bad as well. I have work to do, that if I don't do could cost me money, but I can't get the oomph to call anyone back.

    The sneeezing and the runny nose is pretty bad too. Emotional I'm a little better. No crying this morning. That is the weirdest part of this though. How emotional I feel. I had a conversation with my 4 year old in the way to kindergarten and realized I have spent 3 of his five christamsas whacked out.

  4. #4
    TampaFlorida is offline Member
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    Hi John,
    I'm glad you doing it. It's normal to feel overly emotional. Look up the Thomas recipe. It's a list of supplements that help.
    So this is day 2 for you? Keep on pushing it. Try not to take any more pills. Imodium helps with withdrawal too because it's opioid based but it doesn't cross the blood brain barrier. You have to take larger amounts then normally.
    Take a lots of hot showers and baths. Keep thinking about your son and how proud you will be to be a dad that is clean.
    You will have emotions. Good and bad, that's normal however.
    Keep us posted.

  5. #5
    JohnP45 is offline New Member
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    Thanks Tampa!

    The things you said about my son made me cry. Lol. It's so weird. I guess it's the emotions I squelched for two and a half years. Without realizing it, these drugs really do turn you into a shell. Unfeeling of anything good and bad.

    We went for a week vacation this summer to the beach, and I did not experience hardly any joy. I want to feel real happiness again. I want to connect with people again. It's so weird. That one conversation with the Dr. And a lightbulb went off in my head. It said no more. It's like my soul wants to wake up after sleeping for two and a half years.

    I think about the kids, and my wife that I know I've been short tempered with. We fought more in the last six months than we did for 10 years. Physically I feel so bad right now and I am dreading tonight because I know I'll be up with anxious legs and this bad feeling, but I am determined.

    I have weaned for a week. (Probably dumb, I think I'll have five more days before I'm better) but I keep saying over and over that by Sunday I can be free of this.

  6. #6
    TampaFlorida is offline Member
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    Hey John,
    If you feel bad at night and can't sleep, get up and listen to some motivational videos. Check out the one from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Or listen to some music from skilled: "Not gonna die". It's a good song, very motivating.
    Make a list of all the things you gonna do right to your wife and kid.
    Don't look for how "bad" you feel, look at what symptoms are getting better or have lessen.
    I used to always tell myself, wow today I'm not sweating as much as yesterday, or my rls is better now than it was this morning.
    Remember, it will only take a few days to get over this.
    Keep us updated!

  7. #7
    Smith9666 is offline Junior Member
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    I seen your post on another thread and came to find yours. It is under a different column then those posts so I haven't seen it before.

    First, I think it's great that you did wean down to 10mg. To most people here, 50 mg is nothing to them but we all realize that whether it's 10,50, or 300 mg a day.. You still go through wd just the same. It may not be AS bad or last as long but you still have the same issues. RLS still sucks, sleepless nights and the mental >>>>.

    The good news is that if you can keep yourself from even taking 1/2 of a pill, you can be over this very soon. Like in a matter of 2 more days I would think.

    How many more pills do you have available to you? I ask you this because we all know if they are there, then you will most likely cave. It's hard not to when its the middle of the night and you can't sleep and are having horrible RLS and such. It's not easy to just say no. You start to negotiate with yourself, "just 1/2 tonight then no more again". But that cycle will keep going and then you beat yourself up over it and may even just give up and ruin all the progress that you have made.

    It isn't good that you did cave and take what you did but it was a very small amount. It isn't going to set you back to day 1 but please do not take anymore. All it does is drag it out and even when taking the little you did, you still feel like >>>>. That's why weaning down isn't for everyone. Cold turkey may suck but at least it's like ripping a bandaid off. You just get it over with. Slowly decreasing your amounts or even doing a fast one means you are constantly in wd, even if it is minor.

    So when was your last dose and how much was it? I really hope you can find a way to get rid of whatever supply you do have. There is no better way to ensure your success then to not have access to it. Flush them, do whatever it takes to where there is no possibility of getting your hands on them. In a couple days you will be thankful that you did.

  8. #8
    Anonymous Guest

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    Hey john found your post. Congrats on weaning down I know that it wasn't easy. If you're down to 10 mg a day and REALLY wanna quit and put this behind you, than do it. I've been following a guy that cold turkey quit over 200+ mg a day OxyContin so you can do this. I'm sure you have a life, work and family ect. My opinion is that you've made it so far and done so much work just stop.. I know how tough it is. I've quit many time so trust me I know. Do it, stop taking half pills to get you through. They're hurting you more in the long run than they're helping I promise.

    Sorry I didn't see this sooner. Again great job on cutting down but now you've got to make the big jump. You'll be surprised on how well you can function on 2 hours of sleep I promise but it will get better.
    JohnP45 likes this.

  9. #9
    JohnP45 is offline New Member
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    Wow. I had sort of given up on this post, and then saw that I got some replies. Thanks! I am on day 5 now with nothing. Sleep is still funny at night, and I only get around 4-5 hours, but physically I feel much better.

    I am in a funk though. depression and anxiety. I feel like I may never be happy again! I had a three day weekend with the kids, which is nice, but there is an elephant on my chest. It's a struggle to breathe sometimes. I made an appointment with a therapist for tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.

    I know it takes time, but I am tired with no energy and just sad. I want the old me back!

  10. #10
    oxyblues is offline Member
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    Hang in there John! Congrats on getting the job done!!

    I'm on Day 9 and I've had good days and bad days. Some days I can work out and today I feel not great at all mentally. Just sad like you said. But, I know it will get better and so do you. We can't expect to abuse our brains mentally and physically with that >>>> and only expect to pay a week or two for it. No, it's going to take time. Sleep for me has been hard. I'm trying to figure that out now. I'm going with either some kind of antihistamine or that other Unison type that isn't a antihistamine tonight. I am wanting to avoid anything too heavy or that I have to rely upon too much, but at the same time I need some sleep to lift my mood and keep me stable!

    Hang in there man. Think how we will feel in a month?!
    JohnP45 likes this.

  11. #11
    silverlining1 is offline Senior Member
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    Hey, John...

    Just want to let you know....YES, you will be happy again. And it will be real happiness, not a fake happiness from a pill. You will find it comes in as moments, moments of real happiness, and then it gets longer.

    Exercise, even only 10 minutes of walking, produces endorphins that make us happy. Chocolate, hot chilis, sex, laughing....all produce natural endorphins, and it does take a while for our brains to start firing again, on its own, but it DOES happen.

    Early on in my recovery I found music to be helpful. Favorite songs of the past can really improve our mood. Try it, if you ever like music, you might find you missed it without even knowing or being aware.

    You are embarking on your new life.....and it will be happy....and you will find yourself again.....a new, improved version.

    You are doing great, keep it up!!!
    JohnP45 and lizzy1day1time like this.

  12. #12
    TampaFlorida is offline Member
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    Hey John,
    You only been clean for 5/6 days. Just wait a little longer and you will be happy again! Come on man, you doing it!!!
    Your family must truly be proud of you!

  13. #13
    JohnP45 is offline New Member
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    Thanks everyone. It makes me feel better to hear that the depression lifts! I went to sleep at 9:15 last night. I still had some RLS and weird feelings, but much better. The malaise is still here, but I will be OK knowing it passes.

    The good news is anyone in the first day or so, it really is 3-5 days before physically you feel OK, now it just need to wind my way through the mental stuff.
    oxyblues likes this.

  14. #14
    Greg2000 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnP45 View Post
    Thanks everyone. It makes me feel better to hear that the depression lifts! I went to sleep at 9:15 last night. I still had some RLS and weird feelings, but much better. The malaise is still here, but I will be OK knowing it passes.

    The good news is anyone in the first day or so, it really is 3-5 days before physically you feel OK, now it just need to wind my way through the mental stuff.
    GREAT GOING JOHN!

    I have some hard earned information that I think will help anyone going through what you did.

    First off, what caused me to relapse after some cold turkey (from 300 mg/day!), and some tapers was the Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS), that EVERY physically addicted individual will experience. Some badly, others hardly at all. Everyone's different, and how long were you taking it, for how long, how were you before you started taking it (If you suffered from severe depression BEFORE it will probably be back worse after you've "succesfully" completed your withdrawal) will all be factors. I put successfully in quotes because PAWS is what derailed me, and if I had known it was normal, and would pass, I think I would have been successful. The blue cloud over your head can last for months, but it will gradually get better. Forcing yourself to do things, especially exercise helps a lot. This is a case of "do as I say, not as I do" because when you don't "feel up to it", it's easy to just blow it off, "to do tomorrow" LOL.

    TAPERING: Maybe I'll make a separate thread on this also

    You did right by tapering and jumping from a smaller amount. If you had tried to taper to zero, a weird phenomenon occurs: The hardest part BY FAR, will happen when you're down at dose levels you'd think a mouse could take. In Methadone withdrawal, this is so infamous that they may do a "double blind" system where the nurse and you won't know exactly how much you are taking and the computer will lower the dose randomly. This could LITERALLY be a at 2mg when you've come down from years at 100mg/day.

    I was at 8mg/day of Xanax for a couple of years. Getting there was completely idiotic, but I won't digress. I had help from a caring shrink thank God. I cut down from 8 to 4mg in a few days. From there to 1.5mg with minimal discomfort. At 1mg problems started, but I got relatively stable at 0.5mg/day, and hit a wall. I did screw up by not subdividing the 0.5mg into 4 (or more) per day. But we switched over to a 1mg Xanax equivalent dose of Xanax, to Librium (50mg), which is easier to taper off of because of its long half life. AND HERE I THINK MY DOCTOR WAS SMART: He let me stabilize on that dose for 6 months. I think it made my body forget the high dose it had been on. At 15mg/day, I ran out, went to call him, but held off, and nothing happened! FINISHED. IT ONLY TOOK 2 YEARS!! LOL

    My doc would make comments like "the Librium won't feel as pleasurable", and always looked a tad skeptical when I said that once I started the taper I never felt ANYTHING at all from taking anything. NOTHING. It was purely limited by feeling bad when I didn't take them. I think this is typical during any taper.

    He also would remind me, THAT ONLY IF YOU'RE COMMITTED AND WON'T CHEAT, that it's not a race. As long as the direction is DOWN you're still in the game. IF YOU WANT TO TAPER, WITHOUT FEELING ALMOST AS SICK AS IF YOU HAD QUIT COLD TURKEY, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT THE PROBLEM IS GOING TO COME AT THE VERY END, AT SEEMINGLY INSIGNIFICANT DOSES. From that point to zero will take you more time than the taper from the high point until there. If you have the luxury, stop at 2mg of Methadone (say), for months. THEN try knocking it down to 1.5. It's kind of a percentage game too. Try 2mg to 1.75 then 1.5. And if you run into a wall pause there for a while. That's the only way a taper is going to be pain free.

    A lot of docs might say, "Here's the taper schedule", and it's my way or the highway. That's unfortunate. My shrink even took pressure off me by saying -- once I was on a normal human being dose of Xanax -- that I didn't have to quite unless I wanted to. BUT I WANTED TO. My main difficulties was me making my own schedule, and getting too aggressive. He'd look it and say, "This is very very aggressive. But everyone's different. Maybe you can pull it off." During this time, even though it normally took weeks to get in to see him, he'd fit me in anytime. I rolled in there one morning looking like something the cat had left on the front porch. He looked me up and down, and I just had to laugh. "You were right, it didn't work, and I felt so bad this morning I took 2mg, and totally blew through my plan." "Well, I have seen you looking better. I figured it wouldn't work...sorry...let's try this..."

    So expect PAWS, remember that it will get better. If you're doing a taper, be prepared for an extended low dose ending, if you want want to keep it pain free. I'm sure tapering from 50 to 10, then jumping would be better than jumping from 50. 5 times easier? I bet not, but don't really know.

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