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Need some support
  1. #1
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    Default Need some support

    I have been taking hydrocodone (10/325) daily for the last 4 years. After a shoulder injury a year ago, I was on 75 mg of oxy for several months but succeeded in tapering down to my current 50 mg. hydrocodone. Unfortunately, I usually take my whole daily amount at one time, hoping for a nice bump. Of course, that doesn't work anymore and is extremely stupid, as I feel withdrawal symptoms for part of the day. I have been wanting to get completely off because I can't control my addiction, even though I do have arthritis pain and they do help with that. I recently had to change doctors for insurance reasons and the new doc will not prescribe narcotics for arthritis pain. He said to ask my old doc to provide a prescription for tapering. My plan is to start dividing my daily dose tomorrow--3 in the a.m. and one or two later for the following couple of days and then going to 4 divided doses for 4 days and so on. Has anyone else done what I have done--taking the whole daily dose at once? I feel so weak and stupid about this whole thing. I've had a lot of problems with alcohol in the past and I should know better.

  2. #2
    tom27 is offline Member
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    rose,I was there ,only I was going through almost 280 a month, it is possible to kick this thing in the butt ,but its up to you to want it, you will find support here trust me,this place has kept me some what sane through this journey ,are you still using? if so now much?

    stay strong and fight

    Tom

  3. #3
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    I used fairly heavily over the weekend and am stabilizing on the prescribed 5 today and tomorrow. I told myself I wasn't going to take all 5 at once today, but then I did anyway. Obviously, I don't have any control!
    I have a scheduled cut to 4 on Thursday--should be feeling stronger by then. I just was wondering if what I do is very abnormal--taking the whole daily dose at once? I don't feel it anymore--just feel "normal" for a few hours. I am armed with clonidine 50 .25 mg xanax, as well as my regular 50 mg. trazodone for sleep. I've had insomnia problems all of my life. I also have immodium and OTC sleep aids. I've been wanting to get off these pills but feared the withdrawal and more pain. I've also had life long depression but the medications are very hard for me to tolerate as I've gotten older. I'm 64 right now.

  4. #4
    tom27 is offline Member
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    rose first off don't feel stupid please,I know your scared of withdrawals,its not fun trust me,been there done that, you have to have will power and no more taking them all at once,I know it feels good but thats only gonna make things worse,either try to taper down or just go cold turkey , cold turkey is hard thats what i did,the first 3 were not pleasent,but every day it got better, you really have got to want to stop taking these little demons,read through some posts and you'll see the distruction they do to us,try posting on the need to talk section ,there are some amazing people here that can help, I hope some of this helps,just remember don't be embarrassed or afraid of what people here will say,no one will judge you or give you a hard time,we will try to help,

    stay strong

    Tom

  5. #5
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    Thanks, Tom. My doctor gave me enough for a really slow taper and I think I can do that. I really have no choice unless I want to CT--but I don't!

  6. #6
    tom27 is offline Member
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    thats good,cold turkey was Horrible !!! but that was my only choice,you have to stay strong and only take what your supposed to. do you have anyone at home that can be in charge of giving you your meds?

    Tom

  7. #7
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    I wish I had someone but I live alone. It might be for the best, however. I am reading Stanton Peele's newest book and am impressed by his definition of free will: Taking action and pursuing priorities based on values and priorities in spite of whims and feelings to the contrary. I have this quote posted in several places--including my pill supply. What were you taking? I remember reading some of your posts and am very impressed by your ability to go through what must have been hell! You are one of my heroes!

  8. #8
    tom27 is offline Member
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    good morning rose just stopped by to say hi and see how your doin today, there is a Need To Talk section that I highly recommend you start posting on ,there are some amazing people there that will help,I probably wouldn't be where I'm at today without them,give it a try,way more traffic there,anyways got to get to work,ill check back later

    your friend Tom

  9. #9
    tom27 is offline Member
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    Hi rose I was taking 240-300 Norco 10/325 a month for about 8 years, ya I know thats a lot but i needed more and more to get that feeling, I lost about 35 pounds I was down to 165 pounds when I should be about 200. I am up to 179 now,talk to you soon hope your having a good day

    your friend Tom

  10. #10
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    I'll check out the 'need to talk'. Decent day today. I make a 5 mg cut tomorrow, but I've done that before. I think I'll be fine. How's your liver after all that APAP?

  11. #11
    tom27 is offline Member
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    good morning rose how about n update on you

  12. #12
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    I've been pretty depressed. I took 40 mg yesterday morning and today I've taken 20 mg so far and will take 15 mg later today. It's definitely time to split up the pills and just accept that I'm not going to feel well. I was in bed for 12 hours last night (trazodone, clonidine, and a couple benadryl helped.) I have had lots of problems with depression all of my life and antidepressants don't seem to help anymore. When I found hydrocodone it seemed like a great antidepressant (for awhile). There have been plenty of times in the past that I've gone down to 4 or even 3 before my next refill was due. It seems worse this time, probably because I know there is no reprieve. I can't get more refills and I refuse to seek them out on the street and don't want to. Pain meds have really made a mess of my life the last couple of years and I want it to stop. I'm grateful in a way that my new doc refuses to subscribe them.

  13. #13
    tom27 is offline Member
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    good morning Rose,I'm glad to see your still around,it is amazing how some little pill can do so much damage to our mental stability , I know its a tough thing to battle but I have faith in you,you can do this and just keep telling yourself you can,you have to remember we didn't get like this over night and it will take some time for our brain to function the right way without medicating it, just stick with your taper and stay strong,life is so much better without these things,I'm on day 38 now and I feel I have a new lease on life,you can do this..

    your friend Tom

  14. #14
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    I'm happy for you for making it that long. I used a clonodine and a .25 xanax to get some rest this afternoon. I was soooo anxious when my morning 2 pills started to wear off. I just took one more norco instead of the one and a half I had planned. I think I'd better just stick to one at a time. I'm hoping to be well enough to take the Senior Center bus to go shopping around noon tomorrow. I live alone and don't have a car presently. I have another year and a half to go before I can get my license back and am hoping my ex-husband will help pay for a car at that time. I'm just rambling but am feeling better than I did around noon. Thanks for checking in.

  15. #15
    tom27 is offline Member
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    hi rose just checking in on you to see how your doing

    Tom

  16. #16
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-26-2014 at 03:29 PM.

  17. #17
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    ???? I was not aware that I swore. I very seldom swear.

  18. #18
    tom27 is offline Member
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    hi rose sorry I have been MIA ,been extremely busy,how are you doing? I see your post got deleted ,thats funny, you must have had a potty mouth, ive had a couple of mine deleted,how is your tapering going? Saturday will be 45 days for me and I get my truck back today, ill check back in on you later

    your friend

    Tom

  19. #19
    gigi1125 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosehill View Post
    I have been taking hydrocodone (10/325) daily for the last 4 years. After a shoulder injury a year ago, I was on 75 mg of oxy for several months but succeeded in tapering down to my current 50 mg. hydrocodone. Unfortunately, I usually take my whole daily amount at one time, hoping for a nice bump. Of course, that doesn't work anymore and is extremely stupid, as I feel withdrawal symptoms for part of the day. I have been wanting to get completely off because I can't control my addiction, even though I do have arthritis pain and they do help with that. I recently had to change doctors for insurance reasons and the new doc will not prescribe narcotics for arthritis pain. He said to ask my old doc to provide a prescription for tapering. My plan is to start dividing my daily dose tomorrow--3 in the a.m. and one or two later for the following couple of days and then going to 4 divided doses for 4 days and so on. Has anyone else done what I have done--taking the whole daily dose at once? I feel so weak and stupid about this whole thing. I've had a lot of problems with alcohol in the past and I should know better.
    hi rose, just wanted to let you know that I identify with what you're going through. I have 7 months off alcohol this past Thursday, but I picked up the pain meds on January 20, and it's been non-stop since then. I don't know why I started up with these evil things again. Anyway, I had my last 1 and 1/4 today and I'm done, I fervently hope. It would be very hard to get more at this point, and like you, I don't want to start going to the street for this stuff. Because my daily use was short-term, I think my withdrawals will be mostly psychological. All I know is that it sure wasn't worth this pain.

  20. #20
    Cozy11 is offline Junior Member
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    Hi All,
    Back again. Rose I hope you are hanging in there! I too used opiates for the energy kick and euphoria. I will spare you all the details of my last few attempts to get clean. All of you have been there, done that. I have done really pathetic things to get these stupid pills. I was up to about 50-60mg per day (a lot for me) with no euphoria...it was like I took them just to take them, just in case "this time" might be the time the euphoria would kick in. Of course it did not. And my methods of acquiring more have dried up, and so i started tapering. Yesterday: Day 1, I had 25mg, today 25, felt >>>>>> , sweats, sleep problems...Im surprised that I felt that when I still have it in my system. Doing this I have 4-5 days left. I am absolutely terrified of what will happen when that is done, because I am afraid I won't be able to handle it. That fear is there despite the fact that in my head and from reading forums like these I know it won't kill me and there are things that can help. I am worried I can't do this myself. Isnt that the biggest addict thing to say? I am hoping I can tell you all I did it. I think the reason my ego is in the way is Im a health professional, "soccer mom" and closet addict. If it sounds like Im not ready to get clean, that very well may be true. I don't want to lie to myself or you. I know I need support, need to be honest about this, and Im too afraid. So thank you for bearing with me again.

  21. #21
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    I haven't checked in here for awhile but I hope you are doing okay. This is a very hard thing to do! I'm down to 5 mg per day and will start cutting my halves in half again this Saturday and will jump off from there next week.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-19-2014 at 07:08 PM.

  22. #22
    rosehill is offline New Member
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    Default Update

    I jumped off in late March. I was down to 1\8 of a Norco per day. Within about a week my depression magically lifted.
    Since I've had life long periods of depression, I'm not expecting it to be gone forever, but right now I'm feeling good.

    I wish you the best.

  23. #23
    tom27 is offline Member
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    hi rose,glad to see your doing ok.sounds like your plan is working,jeep up the good work and glad to see your still posting your battle.

    your friend,

    Tom

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