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New member that needs support
  1. #1
    Mikev311 is offline New Member
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    Default New member that needs support

    Hello forum members I would like to give you my background story so that you know what I've been through. I first started taking Vicodin about five years ago for neck and back pain I first got them from family members and then got a prescription from our family doctor. I was pretty consistent taking 40-60 mg a day. Well the ended up finding the cause of my neck pain later on when I was on vacation I had an abscess next to my airway and had to be rushed to the ER for emergency surgery since I was having trouble breathing. To shorten the story a little things went less than perfect and they had to do several surgeries and keep me in a drug induced coma to get me all fixed up. Well after leaving the hospital with a open wound in my neck (that's how they wanted it to heal) I left with more pain meds. Fast forward about a month and a half and I'm ready to go back to work and they still have me on pain meds but at this point I'm talking them more for the euphoria and sense of well being. Well I made it about another two years (still taking Vicodin) before I had to have carpal tunnel surgery on both hands and of course more pain meds this time some oxy's well after my carpel tunnel surgery and recovery I decided I had enough I wanted off of all of these pain killers. So I made the stupid mistake of listening to a friend that was taking suboxone for recovery off oxy he said he had extra and would give me some to help wean me off the pain meds. Just to clear something up I had told my doctor that I was wanting to get off of them and he gave me some anti anxiety mess to help but they did not help much so that is why I went the route with my buddy. Well guess what my body seemed to like the suboxone a lot and instead of taking some and weaning down I went to higher doses and my buddy wasn't any help because at this point he fell off the wagon and was trying to sell his suboxone to buy oxy again so I would buy a little more each time. I finally realized I was moving backwards from where I wanted to be so I broke down and had a talk with my wife and went through two weeks of hell I quit cold turkey I haven't taken sub in months I have had a few relapses of a week worth of perks and a few Vicodin here or there but it's been about three weeks since I've had anything and just been having a hard time I just want to have the great feeling of well being and carelessness that I would get from opiates. I have talked to my doctor he thinks that I have some ptsd from the trauma I had with the neck surgery so he has me on a low dose of Xanax some buspurone and also Prozac but I just crave the feeling I know you guys understand is there anything that can help me with the cravings? Thank you all for listening this has been a rough couple years for me and this is really the only time I've asked for outside help
    Catrina likes this.

  2. #2
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mikev311 View Post
    Hello forum members I would like to give you my background story so that you know what I've been through. I first started taking Vicodin about five years ago for neck and back pain I first got them from family members and then got a prescription from our family doctor. I was pretty consistent taking 40-60 mg a day. Well the ended up finding the cause of my neck pain later on when I was on vacation I had an abscess next to my airway and had to be rushed to the ER for emergency surgery since I was having trouble breathing. To shorten the story a little things went less than perfect and they had to do several surgeries and keep me in a drug induced coma to get me all fixed up. Well after leaving the hospital with a open wound in my neck (that's how they wanted it to heal) I left with more pain meds. Fast forward about a month and a half and I'm ready to go back to work and they still have me on pain meds but at this point I'm talking them more for the euphoria and sense of well being. Well I made it about another two years (still taking Vicodin) before I had to have carpal tunnel surgery on both hands and of course more pain meds this time some oxy's well after my carpel tunnel surgery and recovery I decided I had enough I wanted off of all of these pain killers. So I made the stupid mistake of listening to a friend that was taking suboxone for recovery off oxy he said he had extra and would give me some to help wean me off the pain meds. Just to clear something up I had told my doctor that I was wanting to get off of them and he gave me some anti anxiety mess to help but they did not help much so that is why I went the route with my buddy. Well guess what my body seemed to like the suboxone a lot and instead of taking some and weaning down I went to higher doses and my buddy wasn't any help because at this point he fell off the wagon and was trying to sell his suboxone to buy oxy again so I would buy a little more each time. I finally realized I was moving backwards from where I wanted to be so I broke down and had a talk with my wife and went through two weeks of hell I quit cold turkey I haven't taken sub in months I have had a few relapses of a week worth of perks and a few Vicodin here or there but it's been about three weeks since I've had anything and just been having a hard time I just want to have the great feeling of well being and carelessness that I would get from opiates. I have talked to my doctor he thinks that I have some ptsd from the trauma I had with the neck surgery so he has me on a low dose of Xanax some buspurone and also Prozac but I just crave the feeling I know you guys understand is there anything that can help me with the cravings? Thank you all for listening this has been a rough couple years for me and this is really the only time I've asked for outside help
    Welcome Mikey,

    First, the weekends are usually slower around here so don't become discouraged if you don't get a lot of replies. You'll get some but there will be more activity come Monday.

    I'm glad you landed here! That's quite the ride you've been on and I'm sorry. We all have our own stories and many, if not most, of us were introduced to opiates because of an injury or surgery. Around here you don't need to be guarded or ashamed. I doubt very much you've done anything that most of us haven't.

    Yes the cravings can drive you crazy. I'm glad you were able to get off the subs. That's huge!! However, even though that chapter has come to an end, whenever you go out for a week or so you are sabotaging whatever healing you have behind you. Have you read and understand the physiology of opiates and how they work? I'll try to make this brief in case you do. Opiates fill the brain receptors that are responsible for our body's ability to cope with pain. With continued use, our brain develops new receptors that also need/want to be filled and that's why our tolerance goes up and our use escalates. In the meantime, our brains stop producing all of the "feel good" chemicals like dopamine and endorphins. When we stop taking the opiates, those receptors are stripped bare and now we have more than we started with and they're all screaming to be filled. It takes a while for our brains to recognize that they won't get filled artificially anymore and will respond slowly but surely. Eating healthy, certain vitamins, laughing, and most especially exercise will promote the production of those chemicals for which your brain is screaming.

    So, each time you take a few Vicodin or oxys, your brain is getting the signal to take a vacation and it needs to wake up on its own again once you stop. It's a cycle that can only be broken by abstaining entirely. Subs are a very strong opiate so while you were on those, your receptors were still being filled. Does this make sense?

    To deal with the cravings, what I learned worked best for me was as soon as that thought began, I'd get busy doing something. Get out of the house, listen to music, watch a movie, give your wife some attention (that will do you both some good). I know you don't want to hear it, but time is the healer so if you let it, you will heal.

    Finally, I have to ask....do you have support? Therapist, meetings, anything? Recovery is a tough road made easier with some support. If you don't then at least post and read here. Having like minded people who have gone through the same thing helps more than you can imagine. We can usually just skip a lot of stuff and get down to the nitty gritty. We know and understand.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Thisweekforsure likes this.

  3. #3
    Mikev311 is offline New Member
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    Thank you for the reply Catrina my family supports me but I don't believe that any of them fully understands the pull that the opiates have. My wife is kinda a nature person and doesn't even take Tylenol so I think it is harder for her to understand. But her and I have been talking about getting me a a therapist to talk to. I kinda had a feeling that I was starting over every time I dabbled here and there because I would feel like >>>> again for weeks after. I know that this is no excuse but it is a trigger. I have a job that your pay depends on how much work you can crank out and it's very stressful and labor intensive work. I think that this is another trigger for my cravings but I'm going to have to work through because I can't change jobs at this point.

  4. #4
    GKTM300 is offline New Member
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    Default Be careful

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikev311 View Post
    Thank you for the reply Catrina my family supports me but I don't believe that any of them fully understands the pull that the opiates have. My wife is kinda a nature person and doesn't even take Tylenol so I think it is harder for her to understand. But her and I have been talking about getting me a a therapist to talk to. I kinda had a feeling that I was starting over every time I dabbled here and there because I would feel like >>>> again for weeks after. I know that this is no excuse but it is a trigger. I have a job that your pay depends on how much work you can crank out and it's very stressful and labor intensive work. I think that this is another trigger for my cravings but I'm going to have to work through because I can't change jobs at this point.
    Dude be strong once you get past the physical just take the mental suffering, don't eat them benzos, they killed my buddy. Anyone that can go cold turkey for two weeks is tough. I hope I can. Anyways I have gone 10 days but pain stops me. I have a messed up back. But mega dosing vitamin C really works for me in detox. Look it up I was sure it was fake bug it worked like it says. Good luck!

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