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Norco Addiction - Coming clean
  1. #1
    needalifeline is offline New Member
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    May 2013
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    Unhappy Norco Addiction - Coming clean

    Hi Everyone, I am new here this is my first post. I have never told my story to ANYONE and I want to quit taking pills so I feel I need to get this all off my chest.

    I started taking for fun Vicodin when I was 15. The first time I took it I loved the way it made me feel. I felt cool and confident. I am normally a shy and relaxed person, but being high on vicodin I felt like a new improved person I could walk into a room and feel confident. Form ages 15-23 I would take vicodin, percocet or norco every once and a while. I never bought it off the street because I didnt even know you could. Sometimes I would exaggerate an injury to my doctor but since it was not an everyday thing I never thought of it as a problem.

    In 2011 I was 23. I had a 2 year old son with my boyfriend, who also took vicodin every once in a while. Well he started a trade school and met someone who could get vicodin or norco whenever we wanted. So slowly but surly I went from taking a half of a pill every once in a while to taking 4 pills (10/325 hydro) a day. I know compared to some people on this board my addiction is a joke, but nonetheless it is still an addiction and I cannot go a day without taking the pills.

    The pills that used to give me a burst of energy no longer work. I cant even make dinner or clean my house without taking a pill. My boyfriend has lost control and is taking up to 15-20+ a day I dont even ask him anymore because I dont want to know. My friends mother who is an addict said it took her many many years to get to where he is at and the short amount of time he did it really scares me. We fight constantly because he spends ALL of his money on pills, he steals money from me and pawns and sells all of our things. I feel like a hypocrite yelling at him for taking them when I take them myself. I just don't want to lose control like so many people do. I figure I might as well stop now because at this point I am not even getting high anymore I am just taking them to function. I have taken them every single day since July 2011 and I am so tired of it. I look back over the last 2 years and I cant even remember so much of it. so much time was wasted thinking about pills, buying pills. I dont even want to think about how much money was spent between my boyfriend an I. He doesnt pay any rent or bills anymore, he borrows money from everyone and never pays it back. I am just sick of living like this. I want out.

    Its now 1:30pm on friday and I havent taken a pill since 6pm last night. I feel okay just tired with a headache. By this time I have usually took 10mg of hydrocodone. I only have 2 10/325 pills at home. I purposely left them at home so I wouldnt be tempted to take them at work. Should I take a half of a pill when I get home? should I flush them? What should I do to feel okay? I have to work monday-friday I get weekends off so I am hoping by monday I'll feel ok. I'm scared about the depression because my mother just passed away less then 2 months ago (cirrhosis of the liver; opiates and alcohol). Anytime I have felt sad about her death I take a pill to block the pain. I just dont want to prolong the inevitable anymore. I need to grieve her death. I want to stop pills, I don't want to go the way she did it was horrible and painful. I feel ashamed even being addicted after I see what she went though. No one knows I take pills everyday, not even my boyfriend. I don't have much family so I don't plan on telling anyone. I just want to be a good mom to my son and these pills will not help me do that.

    Again, I dont want to disrespect anyone on this board. I know many of you have much worse problems than me. I just needed an outlet to speak.

    If anyone has any words or advice for me please help. I could use anything you have to say. I just don't know what to expect as of right now, I want to go home and take half of a pill just to get some grocery shopping done but I dont know if I should or not.

  2. #2
    grammadeb is offline New Member
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    May 2013
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    Hi Sweetie, my name is Grammadeb and I too am new at this forum. I liked your web name...needalifeline. After reading your share, I really felt your heart and your pain gave you that name! I want you to know how very courageous and brave it is of you to have finally come to terms with what you have finally acknowledged to be honest unacceptable behaviors for yourself. It doesn't matter how much more abusive another addict is over you, as to the amount or severity of their drug use. What DOES matter is the way you feel right now about yourself, and the amount you are using has become questionable to the person you know yourself to be. I am SOOOO grateful to hear you reaching out soon enough, and that you haven't yet crossed that line that none of the rest of us ever thought we'd cross either....but have. You don't want a worse senerio than what is in front of you right now. Either you are just one smart little cookie who still has held onto her self-respect and integrity....and maybe it doesn't hurt you one bit that the boyfriend is your living example of what you TOO could easily become if you didn't start talking to someone about what you feel is a problem already bigger than you want to have. I am so proud of you. I want you to know sincerely what a really GREAT Mom you are. Most drug addicts don't think of their children first, we are much to selfish, and the drug always becomes #1 over everything and everybody. So give yourself some credit here girl...you are so on the right track. Personally, I will help you in any way I can. I know you're gonna be alright....that is if you continue to stay honest/accountable onto yourself and maybe follow some suggestions i'll be happy to share?!
    Let me give you some light as to who you're talking with and what i'm all about. I'll keep it short for now but maybe we could exchange e-mail addy's and continue sharing a bit more off the forum???....if you'd like that anyway..lol
    I jumped on this forum needing to vent as well about my present Norco/vicidon addiction. It's become so out of control, my life sucks, i'm so unhappy all the time, and so disappointed that I've allowed it to get this unmanageable....i'm so discusted because I know better. This isn't my first Rodeo so to speak, I've been playing around with my life much...much toooooo long. I just celebrated 13 yrs of sobriety from alcohol, and this weighs quite heavily on me because after 2 yrs clean and sober I had a back injury to where after trying every holistic approach, the pain broke me into saying yes to narcotics for relief. And here I am 10 yrs later heavily addicted to pain meds, and going crazy trying to put sober days in a row. Guess i'm a little nervous to detox from it mostly. At this time I too am trying to wean myself until none...lol...for me that's next to impossible!! A weiner I AM....a wean-er...I AM NOT!!! he-he. I just have to make that decision, then give it to God and hit meetings daily. That is how I got sober from alcohol. I prayed every a.m. asking God to remove the thoughts/desires/obsessions...went to 1 if not 2 meetings a day, and gave thx at nite for another day He gave me! What fueled my desire to quit drinking in the 1st place was my 15 yr young daughter(only child), was pregnant with my 1st grandbabies,,,,,and YES we were having TWINS!!! No way was I going to have these babies around the dysfunction I was living AND lived in all my life! So YES, God did get and keep me sober from alcohol! It's now 14 yrs later and my twin grand-daughters are still in our care. They are my kids. So, you can imagine the guilt and shame i'm feeling as I struggle getting off the narc's?! I will do this...WE will do this right? When I looked into this forum, I hit the right people on the right page on the right day. I felt love and acceptance immediately. Blondie is one gal who friended me and some really sweet caring guys as well. You've heard the saying.....I get drunk(high).....WE stay sober??? So true, that is what I 've found here, hope you have too. I have more to comment on some other things you said so I hope we can keep connecting. And BTW, it IS time to really grieve the loss of your Mom. I am so sorry you must hurt so badly, but you must feel your heart now, I think you believe that too, right? I will be praying for you....Prayer is so awesome, and so are you! Peace I leave with you my newfound little sista.....hugs, deb+

  3. #3
    ssinss is offline New Member
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    Jun 2013
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    Michigan
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    There are some other posts that cover ways to manage withdraw they seem good. I did cold turkey, off what does not really matter, just know that it is hard. I do not like to sugar coat it. Do you have any help at home? Do you have some support that is not currently taking? NA meetings can help. Support, is important, this forum if that is all. It will be your biggest tool. I say tool because you will have to put it to use. You are going to come to moments that feel like it can not be any worse. Please remind yourself when it happens that this is going to pass. Each minute is one more minute you did not take. Push the time as far as you think you can before you take something if that happens, and when you go to put it in your mouth, stop and push more. Halving is not a bad idea at that point, it might help a bit. You will get more energy again, I promise. Remember to drink fluids, things that help hydrate you in this warm weather. Make them count. Boost, ensure, drinks like that help the energy level and your body. Benadryl can help you sleep and help the upset stomach if you get one. Antacids as well. Prayer is awesome, I agree completely. I wish you so much luck and success.

    grammadeb, I am raising my grandaughter as well so I understand how you feel. You have so much great wisdom to share.

    My best hopes and prayers are with you both.

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