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Really need help. 22yo college student quitting after 6 year secret addiction
  1. #1
    georgiagirl93 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
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    2

    Default Really need help. 22yo college student quitting after 6 year secret addiction

    Hello all, I am new and just joined. I really am hoping I can get some encouragement and help on here.
    From the outside, no one would ever guess I am an addict. I am in a sorority and I am about to have my bachelor degree. I turn 22 on Tuesday and I am realizing I have completely lost hold of my life. The past 6 years I have been in a downward spiral. It all started when I had a few surgeries and fell in love. I fell in love with the feeling I got when taking prescription pain killers. I have went from being prescribed, to buying a few from a friend to having a full blown dependency. For several years I just took 1 hyro 10mg per night. That was it. It made my life complete just that one pill per night. It has very slowly progressed to me taking up to 120-150 mg of Roxicodone a day. I have tried quitting several times, but I never TRULY wanted to part ways until now. I want nothing more than to be able to truly be happy. I am afraid I do not remember what happiness feels like without being high. I am a high functioning addict and I have hid this secret completely while going to school full time and having 2 jobs. I spend every penny I can on pills. I have lost my friends because all I want to do is be in bed and high in my free time. I will lose everything if I do not stop now.

    I am scared of who I have become, but even more afraid that my life is not going to continue if I do not end this.

    I have someone I buy suboxone from because it is much cheaper that way and I do not have insurance. In the past I have taken 1 mg a day, but since I really want to be done forever I think I am going to try 2mg 2x a day. Anything higher than that will make me sick (I am only 5'0 and 115lb) I also have klonopin that can help as well.

    Any suggestions? I am thinking about going to an NA meeting, but I am shy so I am a little anxious about it.
    My biggest concern is my mental health. I have always battled with depression and anxiety, even before drugs were in the picture. I just am hoping I do not become too depressed.
    jklm26 likes this.

  2. #2
    silverlining1 is offline Senior Member
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    Aug 2014
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    983

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    Hey, georgiagirl....

    I would read some of the threads in the suboxone treatment forum. If you are stable on 1 mg, there is absolutely no need to up your dose. And you need to taper off the sub. Sub is very strong and stays in your system a long time. Many people on here have used sub to change their lives for the good, but you must be careful with how you use this drug.

    You definitely can be happy again, and we will definitely support you on this journey.

  3. #3
    GeorgiaDad is offline New Member
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    Nov 2015
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    You are my daughter's age and she is having one heck of a time with addiction now. All I can tell you is be stubborn about it and celebrate every small victory. I grew up in the late 60's and early 70's so, trust me, I've seen plenty of dope. You have to reward yourself for every milestone you reach.

  4. #4
    Taylorsgigi is offline New Member
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    Nov 2015
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    Hi Georgiagirl 93.

    I want to offer you just a few words. First of all, I credit this site and all the people posting on it for getting me past day 9! I had a secret addiction for 3 years and no one knew. I felt like a prisoner after a while. Counting pills constantly!!! The first thing that I did, was not just block the number of my supplier, but completely delete their number from my phone. Then I went to the store and got what I needed to follow the Thomas Recipe. I had tried a few times in the past and just found it easier to pick up the phone and get more meds. Not this time. The first 4 days were the most uncomfortable, but if you follow the plan, it's not anything that you can't do! I promise!!!! The next step for me was to kick the malaise that set in. Just not having much strength for anything. You can go to the health food store and get L-Tyrosine which is part of the Thomas Recipe, and it helps tremendously!

    I promise you, this is something that you CAN do!!!! You'll have all the support you need here, but for me, the best thing in the world I did was to tell my family. They have offered me support and love and were there to help the first few days.

    I have kids that are just a little older than you. I know that if you were my daughter and came to me with this, I would wrap my arms around you and do everything I could to help you through it. Reach out to your family or friends or anyone that you know will give you the support you need.

    And you're right....you HAVE forgotten what it feels like to actually feel good, not high. I was like you and completely fell in love with Vics. Completely. But I found out, as you have, that it's a huge farce.

    You can do this! You can do this! You CAN do this!!!!!

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