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Scared - Day 2 clean
  1. #1
    ScaredSorry is offline New Member
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    Default Scared - Day 2 clean

    I am so scared...for the past year I have been taking 15-20mg of oxy a day off and on. I would go a few weeks and stop just to do it all over again. No one knew! For the last 3 months I have been consistently taking them minus a few days here and there. I am 38 hours clean and I finally broke down and told my husband everything. I was so scared he would yell at me but he is being so supportive. He keeps asking why and I really don't have an answer for him. My twin sister died unexpectedly 2 years ago from a brain clot and maybe that is why. Anyways during the day I feel ok, I have a 4 year old daughter that keeps me busy and I always try to put a smile on so she does not know what is going on. Night time is the worst, I did sleep for about 6 hours last night but this morning my body is killing me going to try to take a bath.

    I am wondering if I should go see a doctor and tell them or just continue going at it? I don't want them to put me on any kind of meds, I am scared to even take OTC meds or supplements. Any helpful words would be much appreciated?

  2. #2
    rcornwe is offline New Member
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    You can do this! Hang in there....I know the fear as I am in a similar situation. Yes, those sleepless nights are no fun. If you have insurance I would take advantage of it and get some medical help but I am no expert. You are doing the right thing so keep it up.

    Wynn

  3. #3
    Thisweekforsure is offline Advanced Member
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    You were on a relatively low dose and you are in cold turkey withdrawal but it is relatively mild. YOU GOT THIS. You are halfway through the worst of it already. In a few days you should be feeling much better, but you may fight lingering depression and boredom for up to several weeks. That will be the danger zone, as you will be tempted to take a pill as a pick me up. You will think you can do it just this once. DO NOT DO IT.

    I don't see a need to consult a doctor at this point. Getting off opiates requires a doctor only if you are vomiting and getting dehydrated. It is okay to take OTC meds such as tylenol but if your oxy was in the form of Percoset then you might want to stick to ibuprofen just to give your liver a break. Immodium is great if you have the bathroom issue.

    Certain supplements are fine. Search around this site for the Thomas recipe. L-tyrosine is recommended although I don't personally know much about it. I believe it can be very helpful to research nutrition and adjust your diet to include things you might be missing, and to use supplements if necessary. Also, try to get exercise in every day. And DRINK LOTS OF WATER.

    Sleeping six hours is great considering you're in early oxy detox! Take it and be happy. You are doing GREAT.
    ScaredSorry likes this.

  4. #4
    ScaredSorry is offline New Member
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    I just got back from running a few errands with my daughter. Seemed good to get get, body is still achy and now my head is killing me. My husband will be home soon and I can't wait even though every time I look at him I feel like I have let him down. I do feel like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders because to told him everything.

    Thanks for all of the kind words...it is really helping. I just want to get back to my happy self for my family.

    I have done nutritional cleansing in the past with just eating clean and I think I am going to start back up, it might help me eat more as I have no appetite right now.

    That is all for now...thanks again

  5. #5
    ScaredSorry is offline New Member
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    So day three and I am feeling ok...my stomach is pretty upset and I have zero energy, just feel pretty horrible. I don't have a headache right now so that is good. Just want to feel better.

  6. #6
    Thisweekforsure is offline Advanced Member
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    Hang in there. You likely won't be feeling any worse than this, and probably the day after tomorrow you will notice a lift and feel better. Maybe even late tomorrow. You got this.
    ScaredSorry likes this.

  7. #7
    ScaredSorry is offline New Member
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    Thanks for the encouragement. It seems like mornings and evenings are the worst. Not only does my body hurt but I often feel like I am going to have a panic attack. When I feel that way it just really scares me.

  8. #8
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    It will pass..
    Try some vitamins
    You need to nourish your body now..
    The Thomas Recipe on here has been used by many
    And has helped ..
    You don't need the benzo on it because you are through most of it..
    But I still take the vitamins and it has been 6 months..

    You got this..
    I think it is a good sign that you told your husband..
    It can help keep you accountable..
    Take care
    Bette

  9. #9
    ScaredSorry is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iluv2smile View Post
    It will pass..
    Try some vitamins
    You need to nourish your body now..
    The Thomas Recipe on here has been used by many
    And has helped ..
    You don't need the benzo on it because you are through most of it..
    But I still take the vitamins and it has been 6 months..

    You got this..
    I think it is a good sign that you told your husband..
    It can help keep you accountable..
    Take care
    Bette
    Thanks, what kind of vitamins do you take? Is it just a multivitamin?

  10. #10
    ScaredSorry is offline New Member
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    Day 4 and I am still feeling pretty tired. It is really hot today and I have been outside with my daughter and niece for a couple hours. I am physically feeling better, my stomach doesn't hurt as much, but as far as emotional I am still feeling pretty down. I hope this will get better soon.

  11. #11
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Hi and Welcome,

    You are just about outta the woods and YAY for you. Anxiety and being lethargic will come and go over the next week or so. Cut yourself some slack because it will pass. Each day it will be a bit less severe and will last for a shorter period of time. As a result, you may not notice any difference for a bit but you're on your way. What helped me was to be around people. Fake it til you make it. That's my motto. Try to stay busy even when you don't want to. It took me a bit of time (10 days?) to be able to sit and concentrate enough to read but I found just getting in my car and taking a ride with the radio on a favorite station helped. Maybe a short trip to the store. ANYTHING to pass some time and not to be moping around. It's too easy to fall into that and hard to get out. I always felt better at least for the time I was out doing something.

    The worst is behind you in terms of the physical stuff. It will get better. If it didn't, I'm sure I wouldn't have made it this far.

    Peace,

    Cat
    ScaredSorry likes this.

  12. #12
    kkurz313 is offline New Member
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    Hey, I just have to say thank God for the internet!!! I have been reading these threads for a couple of weeks now, and they have given such hope to know there are others that are going through similar issues, and have taken a stand by deciding to turn their lives around...
    I have been an addict since I was 15, when I put the first drug, marijuana, into my body, and I'm 37 now , so technically for 22 years, more than half of my life...but my ultimate DOC is Oxycontin. I had my first encounter with the devil, oh, I mean Oxycontion, about 7 years ago, after the birth of my 3 son. I had a difficult delivery and was given Percocet in the hospital to relieve the pain from the complications...I was given a script to take home. I was still in pain after that script ran out, so my mom and boyfriends mom started offering their Oxys to me... at first I could moderate my Intake quite well, for several months, actually...I would go weeks without taking a pill, then I would Feel Pain and ask my mom for few...I don't know the exact time where this changed but I do remember needing more than I did the day before, I remember buying lortabs for the first time because my mom or mom in law started getting sick of me asking...that turned into a regular thing and was spending about 500 bucks a month on tabs at that time...Then I fell down my Mom's steps and severely injured my tailbone, which was so excruciating, I aS given as riot for tabs at the hospital, then from my doctor...and at first I was excited, thinking Yay I don't have to spend money on them anymore! But eventually that changed too...I got up to the point where I was getting 180 a month and they were gone in a week, so I bought more and more...my boyfriend is also an opiate addict so of course he was taking mine and spending his money too...I eventually ended up talking my doctor I to giving me a script of keys and it's been off to the races especially ever since...I've been through help and back...tried a few times to get clean, went through detox programs...I started stealing my Mom's pills, spending all of my pay check on them, lost my job, got evicted, my kids and i had to move in w my mom...lost our car...My mom passed away from lung cancer this past January...I'm an only child, never had a relationship w my dad...so the pain from that is all mine, and I took it to heart...started adding xanax and valium to the mix, anything to kill the guilt and pain...I felt and still feel so horrible for.what I put her through...she had always been so proud of me, but I'm afraid that when she died she was disappointed in me, our relationship had suffered greatly because of my addiction..I am a college graduate in I.T.studies and had a good job and future ahead of me and I screwed that all up...I was with her when she took her last breath, and still can't get the image out of my head...anyway, 2 months after my moms death, I had a massive stroke...a basilar artery occlusion, which is a clot at the brain stem...the deadliest kind. The survival rate for it is about 5%...The possibility of recovering from a stroke of that magnitude, without any serious complications,such as paralysis, face droop, speech problems, etc, is less than 1%...I have NO serious effects except a problem with my equilibrium and occasional confusion...my neurologist says I'm a walking miracle...I felt that while I was out for the surgery, where they had to remove the clot because it was to big for the clotbusters to work, that my mom was there,in my dream or out of body experience or whatever it was, telling me something, I couldn't remember what it was, but I felt what it was...STOP THIS. That's when I truly decided to change, to get clean...to be the mother God intended me to be, to be the daughter he intended me to be...I didn't start immediately though, I had to gO through home physical, occupational and speech therapy, so it just wasn't the right time to detox, I guess...OFF to the races again for 4 months...I still get oxy prescribed, but last week, when I ran out of the oxys 5 days after getting them, Instead of my normal drug seeking g behaviour of asking to borrow pills from friends or chasing down the pills just to spend insane amounts of money on them, I bought about 12 suboxone, and weaned off of that slowly..you know, suboxone is a godsend, but there are pretty bad withdrawals from those too, not anything compared to.cold turkey oxy withdrawal though...I am now on day 6 off ALL opiates...took my last little big of the sub exactly a week ago...THE first few days off of everything were pure help, I don't even want to describe it because it puts me back into a place I don't want to be...the last few days have been pretty bad emotionally and mentally, but not as bad physically, but still having pro lens with sleep...still craving them but I feel like my brain is finally in a place to beat this, I talk my addiction down...positively reinforce my mind as much as possible...I'm at a turning point now. I think it will only get better from here...I'm going to start going to meetings this weekend now that I feel better physically...when I go in for my doctors appointment, I'm going to tell them I dont want the opiates anymore...they have a suboxe program, but I don't know if I should even bother with it...I'm already almost there myself, why start again? So for anyone going through something similaR, just remember, it gets better!! Slowly, but it does....it took years for most of us to get to the point of addiction we are now, it's going to take a while to get rid of the hold it has on us...I highly suggest prayer as well, even if you are nor religious, recognizing that we have a higher power to turn to, and that we are powerless over our addictions, Is very comforting....just do the best you can to take care of yourself, rest, even if you can't sleep... take a bunch of Imodium, and Tylenol pm at nighttime, try to eat well, keep hydrated, TALK to people..as tempting as it is to.isolate yourself. Don't...at least not after the first few days of w/o, take multivitamins..the taking care of myself part has been hard for me because I have 3 amazing kids to take care of, but luckily they are older and don't need constant attention...last but not least, remember everything happens for a reason...what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, most likely we will draw many lessons from our experiences...I would love to have some feedback from you guys, I intend to follow this forum regularly, I'm so glad I found it...good luck and God bless you all

  13. #13
    Hadenough80 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by kkurz313 View Post
    Hey, I just have to say thank God for the internet!!! I have been reading these threads for a couple of weeks now, and they have given such hope to know there are others that are going through similar issues, and have taken a stand by deciding to turn their lives around...
    I have been an addict since I was 15, when I put the first drug, marijuana, into my body, and I'm 37 now , so technically for 22 years, more than half of my life...but my ultimate DOC is Oxycontin. I had my first encounter with the devil, oh, I mean Oxycontion, about 7 years ago, after the birth of my 3 son. I had a difficult delivery and was given Percocet in the hospital to relieve the pain from the complications...I was given a script to take home. I was still in pain after that script ran out, so my mom and boyfriends mom started offering their Oxys to me... at first I could moderate my Intake quite well, for several months, actually...I would go weeks without taking a pill, then I would Feel Pain and ask my mom for few...I don't know the exact time where this changed but I do remember needing more than I did the day before, I remember buying lortabs for the first time because my mom or mom in law started getting sick of me asking...that turned into a regular thing and was spending about 500 bucks a month on tabs at that time...Then I fell down my Mom's steps and severely injured my tailbone, which was so excruciating, I aS given as riot for tabs at the hospital, then from my doctor...and at first I was excited, thinking Yay I don't have to spend money on them anymore! But eventually that changed too...I got up to the point where I was getting 180 a month and they were gone in a week, so I bought more and more...my boyfriend is also an opiate addict so of course he was taking mine and spending his money too...I eventually ended up talking my doctor I to giving me a script of keys and it's been off to the races especially ever since...I've been through help and back...tried a few times to get clean, went through detox programs...I started stealing my Mom's pills, spending all of my pay check on them, lost my job, got evicted, my kids and i had to move in w my mom...lost our car...My mom passed away from lung cancer this past January...I'm an only child, never had a relationship w my dad...so the pain from that is all mine, and I took it to heart...started adding xanax and valium to the mix, anything to kill the guilt and pain...I felt and still feel so horrible for.what I put her through...she had always been so proud of me, but I'm afraid that when she died she was disappointed in me, our relationship had suffered greatly because of my addiction..I am a college graduate in I.T.studies and had a good job and future ahead of me and I screwed that all up...I was with her when she took her last breath, and still can't get the image out of my head...anyway, 2 months after my moms death, I had a massive stroke...a basilar artery occlusion, which is a clot at the brain stem...the deadliest kind. The survival rate for it is about 5%...The possibility of recovering from a stroke of that magnitude, without any serious complications,such as paralysis, face droop, speech problems, etc, is less than 1%...I have NO serious effects except a problem with my equilibrium and occasional confusion...my neurologist says I'm a walking miracle...I felt that while I was out for the surgery, where they had to remove the clot because it was to big for the clotbusters to work, that my mom was there,in my dream or out of body experience or whatever it was, telling me something, I couldn't remember what it was, but I felt what it was...STOP THIS. That's when I truly decided to change, to get clean...to be the mother God intended me to be, to be the daughter he intended me to be...I didn't start immediately though, I had to gO through home physical, occupational and speech therapy, so it just wasn't the right time to detox, I guess...OFF to the races again for 4 months...I still get oxy prescribed, but last week, when I ran out of the oxys 5 days after getting them, Instead of my normal drug seeking g behaviour of asking to borrow pills from friends or chasing down the pills just to spend insane amounts of money on them, I bought about 12 suboxone, and weaned off of that slowly..you know, suboxone is a godsend, but there are pretty bad withdrawals from those too, not anything compared to.cold turkey oxy withdrawal though...I am now on day 6 off ALL opiates...took my last little big of the sub exactly a week ago...THE first few days off of everything were pure help, I don't even want to describe it because it puts me back into a place I don't want to be...the last few days have been pretty bad emotionally and mentally, but not as bad physically, but still having pro lens with sleep...still craving them but I feel like my brain is finally in a place to beat this, I talk my addiction down...positively reinforce my mind as much as possible...I'm at a turning point now. I think it will only get better from here...I'm going to start going to meetings this weekend now that I feel better physically...when I go in for my doctors appointment, I'm going to tell them I dont want the opiates anymore...they have a suboxe program, but I don't know if I should even bother with it...I'm already almost there myself, why start again? So for anyone going through something similaR, just remember, it gets better!! Slowly, but it does....it took years for most of us to get to the point of addiction we are now, it's going to take a while to get rid of the hold it has on us...I highly suggest prayer as well, even if you are nor religious, recognizing that we have a higher power to turn to, and that we are powerless over our addictions, Is very comforting....just do the best you can to take care of yourself, rest, even if you can't sleep... take a bunch of Imodium, and Tylenol pm at nighttime, try to eat well, keep hydrated, TALK to people..as tempting as it is to.isolate yourself. Don't...at least not after the first few days of w/o, take multivitamins..the taking care of myself part has been hard for me because I have 3 amazing kids to take care of, but luckily they are older and don't need constant attention...last but not least, remember everything happens for a reason...what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, most likely we will draw many lessons from our experiences...I would love to have some feedback from you guys, I intend to follow this forum regularly, I'm so glad I found it...good luck and God bless you all

    I'm now 12 days clean of 3x 60 mg of OxyContin daily and whatever else I could get my hands on for the last 6 or 7 years, and vikes, perks, and anything and everything.....finally getting energy and motivation back and I'm actually happy! Supplements and exercise have been my best help....it was the best choice I made and I finally can think straight, so if your reading this just know that it does get better and you will be glad you stuck it out!! Was possibly the worst 10 days or so of my life but I finally feel like I broke out of hiding behind pills for so long, time to get my old life back and get out and do something!!!! Stay strong, it's a head game!
    Ladyblue1866 likes this.

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