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105mg Methadone & Upcoming Surgery
  1. #1
    stepaway is offline New Member
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    Jan 2014
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    Default 105mg Methadone & Upcoming Surgery

    Hello, This is my first post ever. Call it paranoia, that has prevented me from ever posting or admitting to anything related to chemicals. Through the latter 21 years of my life I have plagued myself with thing the world calls addiction. The beast of them all being opiates. I found myself sitting in another methadone clinic about 2 years ago, for the 3rd time. My clinic is unique, as I'm sure we all think about our own clinic. I absolutely hate it. I hate every part of belonging to it, but the fact that I have just begun to repair my life for the 4th time, from scratch keeps me going almost daily. It boils down to fear and as much as I want to think it is a False Evidence Appearing Real, that past belief has led me to being completely strung out on many things again and again multiple times. I don't know if I have another life left in me. I've pushed it too many times to even test it again. That said, I fear getting too far from the clinic. I am shackled to it. Most days I feel it debilitates me, but I also admit personally that without it, I may be face down, in a bathroom...you may know the rest.

    Anyway, I am looking for any possible alternative method to opiate recovery than Methadone. I have tried Suboxone, didn't like it, but am willing to try it again. I am on 105 mg daily of Methadone. I have no idea how I would go about switching. Keep in mind, I realize that I am playing with my life here and could soon be holding a metaphorical loaded "gun" making that same decision once again. I've remember those many days when I was as clean as I am today, just methadone or suboxone in my system and the next day I am in a bathroom...and the rest is history. Nobody knows when it stops either. Above all, if I make the switch, that can not happen. I just got my Family back and put a decent life together again.

    Is there a way to go from 105 mg to suboxone safely, minimizing risk of a fall? I almost forgot. I have a serious hiatal hernia that will be operated on at the end of this month. It is a serious surgery, pain will be there, they have already agreed to give me meds. This alone could set up the biggest fall of my life. This is why I am trying to create a plan to get through that safely & get some sort of plan to safely switch to subs from methadone at some point in the near future. Well, I am asking for any help, advice, insight, experiences that would help, etc. I welcome it all!

    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
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    I hear you I really do. I am currently tapering from methadone, I dont want it all anymore. At 40 mg, was at nearly 100mg. I fely I could never leave the clinic until I started meetings and truly began hating the drug. It is possible to use methadone as a tool to recovery and not jist a replacement. It gave me time to straighten out and lead a normal life. Now after about a year and a half in I want to live completely substance free,and if I were you I would just realize that you have the power to make the clinic a tool not someyhing that keeps you shackeled to it forever. If you ever need to talk hit me up, I understand, methadone can be helpful but its also a drag. Do u think you are stable enough mentally to think about a small decrease? Best wishes.

  3. #3
    brooke05 is offline New Member
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    Hello fellow sufferer.
    I (26y.o. female) found your post on this site while searching to see if anyone else suspects that their methadone use caused (probably indirectly) his or her hiatal hernia, and I had so many similarities to the questions you were asking that I felt the need to register with this site and respond (I've never posted anything either). This is really long, but there is some actual advice, if you can hang in there.
    First of all, I'm on 104mg Methadone daily from a clinic, and i'm currently trying, much more slowly than planned, to taper off of it.. I guess.. although my basic motivation for tapering is that I dislike being on methadone so much that just staying at the same dose (120mg for almost the whole 3 years I've been on it) felt like I was giving up on life, so I figured I'd at least be working towards something, whether that's switching to suboxone or tapering off completely.
    That's my second point.. I've been suboxone switch as well. According to my clinic and other ppl I've talked to, in order to make the switch, you should get your dose comfortably down to about 30mg, since you're going to be switching to a naloxone-containing drug. Now, my brother has some of the same issues that I do, addiction being the #1 issue, and he is currently struggling on suboxone. He's constantly relapsing... constantly as in every couple days.. so i don't know if that counts as a relapse or if he's just not really even in recovery- but, basically, he not only can go off suboxone easily to abuse >>>>>> whenever he gets the urge, but he also has managed to start injecting the sublingual suboxone strips (not safely, of course). Given what I've seen, I'd be inclined to recommend that you stay away from suboxone while you're in the relapse danger zone.
    I don't know how long you've been on methadone during this recovery, but for the first year, I was constantly plotting relapse. The only thing keeping me from actually relapsing was the fact that I had moved to a different city and didn't know how to get my hands on anything.. and I'm living with my parents and really do respect their sanity and i don't want to be doing anything too crazy in their home, but of course the need for relief from my inability to be ok in this world can supercede that respect on occasion.. Anyway, it wasn't until my second year on methadone that I stopped thinking about using constantly and felt like I didn't want to go back to living like that. Now, the problem is, the methadone is solving the problem for which i began using in the first place (suicidal depression), but it also has taken away all motivation and a butt-load of other positive emotions that can be helpful for getting one's life back, so I'm just floating around at my parents' watching tv, with no desire to make friends or get a job, or meet anybody.
    This brings me to the third similarity: the hiatal hernia. I developed the painful, life-sucking, hernia two-years into my methadone dependence. It's not big enough for surgery, but I figured I'd mention it. It's got me vomiting, sleeping sitting up (90-degree angle at all times), in perpetual pain cycles, and in constant fear of a flare up. I can barely eat, and i've been down to 107lbs for the last 5 months (i'm 5'6") from something like 148 as of last year, which was heavy for me because of the methadone complacency issue. I'm afraid to get a job, because I get really sick every few days. I have so little motivation already that the hernia (and IBS) really put the nail in the coffin. Basically, it took a huge dump on my getting my life going, and I feel your pain. literally.
    Now, this is the only real point I have- and, in my mind, it is really important advice. I am not a doctor, clearly, but I'd say, DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE YOUR MEDICATION IN THE SHORT TIME BEFORE YOUR SURGERY, especially if you're worried about relapse. You're going to want to be as stable as possible, mentally and physically, especially for a gut-explosion of a surgery like this one. Also- and this may be because of my anxiety and lack of motivation, but- methadone has made it very hard for me to relapse. When I say "hard", I mean I've tried to relapse a few times during that first year, and i... couldn't.. it didn't work. That includes post surgery pain meds. I used them, hoping to feel something, and it just didn't work, even when i didn't take my methadone for the day. I just shot myself into physical instability from getting my dosing out of whack, and ended up heaving and thinking i was going to >>>> myself and die for hours while bleeding out of my busted stitches. sorry for the image. It sounds like you may have more motivation and resourcefulness, but from all the conversations I've had with ppl in various stages of recovery and on various recovery paths, methadone does a really good job of deterring spontaneous, temporary relapse. Also, you may be interested in reading a recent (last couple months) front-page NYTimes article on suboxone; it's so incredibly long that it's got to be hard not to find SOMEthing helpful in there.
    Oh, and last thing, I don't know if you're worried about going through the surgery on methadone, but that was one of my fears and I've heard other ppl talk about it, so I figured I'd throw this in: I've been through 1.5 surgeries (one tendon re-attachment and the other was just a colonoscopy/endoscopy with propofol) while on methadone, and everything was fine. I feel the need to also say, just in case this is necessary, be sure to be totally upfront with your doctor about your medications and tendency towards relapse. I've heard horror stories about people being afraid to tell their surgeon they're on methadone and winding up in horrible trouble (sometimes death) because of the anesthetic... but it sounds like that's not an issue for you.

    Well, if you're still checking replies and happen to have read this whole thing, I'd really like to know how this all works out for you, and I hope you're able to get everything figured out. This struggle can be really isolating, at least it has been for me, so it's sort of comforting to hear from other people about their struggles- though, of course, I'd never wish this upon anybody... I am very sad to hear that you're going through this >>>>.
    Well, with whatever path you choose, I wish the very best.

    P.S. If I didn't have to go take my daily dose right now, this could've been an even longer, more rambling post, so there's a point for the "pro" methadone column.

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