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150-200mg oxycodone c/t
  1. #31
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Damn some sleep would be soooo nice

  2. #32
    asp44 is offline Member
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    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 06-03-2017 at 08:24 AM.

  3. #33
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Hi Asp,

    Just checking in and was happy to see that you're hanging in there. Yes. Nights are the absolute pits but be patient (easier said than done) and things will turn around. I too abused opiates for nearly 20 years but once I was able to reconcile the fact that I had interrupted Mother Nature from doing her job, it helped me to get through it. If I had broken my femur, there would be nothing I could do but wait it out and allow myself to heal. Same-o Same-o, I guess.

    I read one of your posts asking about pain tolerance post opiates. Yes! Our pain tolerance is much diminished but it does get better. Never did I think that a couple of Aleve would help my back pain but once I was willing to give it a chance, it did. A mental exercise I began to practice was to take an over the counter pain reliever and wait a half hour. Then I'd get still and honestly evaluate my pain level. I had to admit that somewhere down the line I had begun to associate the opiate buzz for pain relief. I had to learn to sort that out. That in itself was a major hurdle in battling those mental games of needing an opiate. No. It doesn't happen overnight or even in a couple of weeks but give it a month and you'll begin to feel the difference. Having chronic pain does not mean that we should be treated long term on opiates. In fact, that's probably the worst treatment plan. I hated when I'd be told that but I see now that this is the truth.

    You're doing great!

    Peace,

    Cat

  4. #34
    asp44 is offline Member
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    When it comes to otc pain relievers im limited in what i can take due to being allergic to ibuprofen. So been tajing tylenol.

  5. #35
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Cat, as usual, that was some good info. Thanx. The only pain of note is in the leg muscles!! Wow they hurt nonstop. No other symptoms besides insomnia due to SORE legs. Nighttime is a dreadful time right now

  6. #36
    asp44 is offline Member
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    1:40 am and like the past 10-11 days im wide awake. Hope these painful leg muscles ease up shortly.

  7. #37
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Got up about 8:30 did manage 3-4 hours of interrupted sleep. Better than none so i wont complain. Day 11 feels like day 90! But im hanging in there. Its gotten a little better. There is absolutely no way in hell i will ever put my self thru this again!!!!! Lesson learned.

  8. #38
    asp44 is offline Member
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    My appetite over the last 3-4 days has gone from a anack here & there to eating everything in sight. Not sure why but if i keep eating like this im gonna weigh 300 pounds. 6 foot tall 225 pounds for now. So definitely dont need to gain weight lol. I have noticed after being off of the oxys that my blood pressure has gotten almost normal again as well as my anxiety level. So thats another positive. Now with a clearer mind i also realized that i probably spent 60-70% of every day just laying around in bed. How pathetic is that?! Still a long road to hold but i will get there. Thank u to everyone who has helped.

  9. #39
    asp44 is offline Member
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    I got the yard cut today, good thing cause its raining here again in M.O. Now that i cant do much other than sit in the house, i have thought a lot about the last 15+ years. I was undoubtedly a unmotivated, selfish, piece of work. My thoughts were constantly about one thing. Im sure you know what. Where can i get a hook up? I wasted so much time that i can never have back. The more i think about it the more it depresses me. I know i need to see a psychiatrist to help me, but i dont know if i can open up to one. I am in my 40s and need to get these things out but im stuck. I cant even fathom telling ANYONE. These things happened to me 37 years ago. And still i keep them to myself. I still have dreams of this stuff. Will talking to a shrink help?? U think it would be very beneficial to my recovery but then again how the heck do you talk to someone about ut? Im stuck. Maybe better to keep it to myself? Any suggestions?

  10. #40
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Ok, does anybody think talking to a shrink would help in recovery? I need to get some pretty traumatic things out in the open from my childhood. Things i still think & even dream about from time to time. Not good dreams!! Maybe part of the reason i abused my meds was to try & numb myself from thinking about it? I know thats not the only reason but do you think it could of contributed? Im really on the fence about this. I am a navy vet so i have access to all kinds of help, but how do u bare your innermost secrets to someone? I think it might be beneficial in my recovery but its sooooo hard to talk about. Only one person knows what im talking about and they dont want to talk to me about it. Any suggestions?
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  11. #41
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by asp44 View Post
    Ok, does anybody think talking to a shrink would help in recovery? I need to get some pretty traumatic things out in the open from my childhood. Things i still think & even dream about from time to time. Not good dreams!! Maybe part of the reason i abused my meds was to try & numb myself from thinking about it? I know thats not the only reason but do you think it could of contributed? Im really on the fence about this. I am a navy vet so i have access to all kinds of help, but how do u bare your innermost secrets to someone? I think it might be beneficial in my recovery but its sooooo hard to talk about. Only one person knows what im talking about and they dont want to talk to me about it. Any suggestions?
    Yes! Therapy can be wonderful and you absolutely should give it a shot. Sounds like you have never tried that before so I'll tell you that you will be encouraged to go at your own pace. Your therapist's job will be to provide you with tools to be able to deal with these traumas and not fix them for you. I at first found that frustrating. I wanted someone to make it all go away but it doesn't work that way.

    Have you ever tried to journal? Don't underestimate the value of just writing things down even if you're the only one who is going to read it. Acknowledging that there are things in our lives that have happened that were gravely wrong is an important step to dealing with them. You can write letters but not send them to people who have hurt you and you can tell them how it has made you feel. Not talking about these things won't make them go away. You know that already.

    Task for tomorrow: Call the VA and get an appointment. Thank you for your service, Sir.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  12. #42
    Tony1967 is offline New Member
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    From a former Marine,good job sir,SemperFi
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  13. #43
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Thanks for the reply tony. Tony is a good name, happens to be mine as well. Im wondering if this leg pain is something other than the rls.

  14. #44
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Ok cat about the va i will make an appt soon. Very soon. My question for u now is can this muscle pain be a side product of the 3 lumbar surgeries? Not long after the fusion which was in 97 my thigh on the right side became numb & remains that way. Along with that horrible deep muscle ache that never lets up. The constant urge to move my legs is subsiding. Nerve damage causing the muscles to misfire or contract toi much. This sucks. I am getting about 4 hrs sleep so thats improving.

  15. #45
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Ok um just throwing this out there so anybody feel free to respond. As far as the thigh pain my right leg is approximately 2.75 inches longer than the left which has caused my hip to be about the same distance off from one side to the other along with a whole lot of arthritis. Could that cause some or most of the pain?

  16. #46
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Well the issues with your leg certainly doesn't help. I have some of those same issues and the unevenness of my legs causes pain mostly in my hips and pelvis. I hear you on the nerve pain. Yep. I get that too. I used to get RLS (not related to detox) and I still do but it's not debilitating anymore. Newly clean, the RLS was what I consider the worst symptom. The WORST. It ended abruptly around Day 5 but would reappear only mildly until it has almost stopped all together.

    Be a pain in the azz and get your doctors to keep trying things that aren't addictive until they find something that helps! I use Gaba for the nerve pain (not everyday) and that helps with mild RLS. I know you can't take that., There are other things too. I just got lucky and they found things that worked or me pretty quickly.

    Make some appointments. Be completely honest about wanting to try other things than opiates. They will respect you for that. The problem with opiates is that the amount you need just will keep increasing and then what? Ya know?

    Peace,

    Cat

  17. #47
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Going to the va Wednesday. This just doesnt feel like typical rls. Not all of it anyway. Well see what happens.
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  18. #48
    asp44 is offline Member
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    P.s. I already told them in advance NO opiates

  19. #49
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by asp44 View Post
    Going to the va Wednesday. This just doesnt feel like typical rls. Not all of it anyway. Well see what happens.
    Good! Keep me updated.

  20. #50
    asp44 is offline Member
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    DAMN!!!!! Why are my legs acting stupid. Nevermind when i said the urge to move them had subsided. I feel like cutting my legs off.

  21. #51
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by asp44 View Post
    DAMN!!!!! Why are my legs acting stupid. Nevermind when i said the urge to move them had subsided. I feel like cutting my legs off.
    Are you taking in a lot of potassium as recommended earlier in your thread? Have you tried the heating pads or a hot bath?

  22. #52
    Prettytony is offline Junior Member
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    I see a psychiatrist every Thursday. I think it's important to find one w a background in addiction for obv reasons. It's almost like goin to the gym in that I don't really ever want to go but am so glad I did when I leave. I feel upbeat, encouraged, positively reinforced, reassured, and other good things. I learned most addicts have underlying trauma, depression, anxiety issues bc surprise surprise "normal people" don't throw caution to the wind, neglect consequences and devour enough "poison" on a daily basis to kill a pack of elephants. So a psychiatrist can address and treat those underlying issues and give us another tool at our disposal to combat addiction. As far as opening up
    About EVERYTHING it's not necessary. I've been seeing the same psychiatrist for 2 yrs, am very comfortable but am not ready and prob never will be to share everything. But it's still def worth it
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  23. #53
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Great advice. There r underlying issues for me without a doubt. I have sought out to start seeing a psychiatrist within the va. I have got to find an otc that will help this leg issue. Any ideas? Climbing steps is the worst.
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  24. #54
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Ricky, i had lab work done at the va last week & potassium levels along with everything else was good. The only exception was vitamin d which was 12. Normal is about 40. So i am taking vitamin d. Heating pads didnt do much good. Yes still taking hot baths. Also taking carb-levo for rls. Sleep is still coming a bit slower but thats life. I want to be more active i feel i have the energy & motivation but my leg muscle's say other wise. Thursday will be 2 weeks since clean from all that opiate garbage.

  25. #55
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Ricky, is it normal for the leg pain to be this bad two weeks in? Is there anything i need to ask the va doc tomorrow? It is pretty constant throughout the day & worsens considerably at bedtime. Any suggestions

  26. #56
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by asp44 View Post
    Ricky, is it normal for the leg pain to be this bad two weeks in? Is there anything i need to ask the va doc tomorrow? It is pretty constant throughout the day & worsens considerably at bedtime. Any suggestions
    Even though your potassium level was good from the lab work doesn't mean that an increase in potassium won't help your legs? Did you try Hyland's Restful Legs? It's a OTC supplement found at Walmart and drugstores?

    I'm not so sure you should still be having the RLS so bad after two weeks of being off the opiates? Maybe it's not RLS or even related to the opiate detox? I tapered when I quit opiates so I never experienced any RLS, my experience and recommendations regarding that are from what I have read and what has helped others? Definitely ask the doctor that same question? Hopefully you'll get some answers tomorrow? There are a few prescription medications that can help with RLS if that's indeed what is going on? Update after the doctor's appointment and let us know what happened? Good luck... God bless us all!

  27. #57
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Well i went to my appt. He wants me to continue with the card-levo and also prescribed trazadone. He suspects that the leg pain has something to do with the prior lumbar fusion. Nerve damage affecting the muscle's or peripheral arterial disease. He went as far tp say that it could be a combination of the two. He went on to say i could be having symptoms of Parkinson's. Who the hell knows? Gotta check back in next week. Only time will tell i guess.

  28. #58
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Oh yeah he also mentioned that it could be fibromyalgia. Going to see how i feel next week, if thinga r the same then i will go ahead and get some tests run to rule things out like Parkinson's disease. Have a tremor in my hand along with plmd (periodic lumb movement disorder). I think the wds r just lasting a little longer than normal. My own fault. Gotta pay the price for dancing with the devil for 15+ years. No turning back! Ive been on the painkillers for so long thar i have no idea what or how im supposed to feel anymore. And im not exactly young anymore. But i do know that with time (ughhhh) I will regain some sense of well being & that will be my new normal. Until then i will do what i need too do to make my recovery as successful as i can. For everybody who is thinking one or two vics, oxy, etc wont get me addicted i urge you to rethink that long & hard. For a lot of us thats all it takes & before you know it you are spending all of your time trying to find something to either continue feeling "normal" or to stave off wds for just one more day. Its a horrible way to have to live. You will alienate yourself from family, friends, any loved ones. It will lead u down a path of self destruction. Its an easy lifestyle to fall into & a hell of a battle to win. Im writing this as a reminder to myself in case i ever get the urge to use that junk again. Sorry for the rambling.

  29. #59
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Hey spacie 1965, r u still around? If so id like to hear how you dealt with and got past the tragedy of your fathers passing. Keep in touch. Laurie, tony, cat, ricky,etc.

  30. #60
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    I cant wait for my legs to stop hurting!!!!! This absolutely sucks. Gotta figure this is out soon. If no improvement by next Wednesday i guess its time to get the Parkinson's test done as well as the others. Trembling hands are a trademark of Parkinson's i guess? This sucks. I thought by 2 weeks id be feeling ok at least. But thats not the case unfortunately.

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