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150-200mg oxycodone c/t
  1. #181
    asp44 is offline Member
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    I thought i was through with the worse of this garbage. Hahaha jokes on me. Feels like day 2 or 3 again. And my baby mama had something really pleasant to tell me today about 6. She told me it was my fault my dad killed himself. Wasnt that sweet!! I know it wasnt, but how the hell can you say that to someone. Pure evil chic. EVVIIIILLLLLLLLLL
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  2. #182
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    It happened again! Finished the post and I apparently have lost my permission to post. I'll leave it here to see if this posts and if it does, I'll try to rewrite my last post. Grrrrrr
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  3. #183
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Try again.

    So....You did have your hand xrayed? Everything OK but bruising and swelling? That's bad enough--it hurts!

    Glad you had a decent day except for the outburst from Devil Woman. What is her problem!? I can't even imagine uttering words as hateful as that! Stand up to her and don't let her do that do you. Period!

    I haven't gone AWOL on you. NEVER! I posted at least 3 times in between my countless naps yesterday and they all disappeared and said I didn't have permission to post. Since when? Since yesterday and it happened again this morning. Grrrrrr.

    What's going on with you? Seemed like yesterday was going well. Then what? Night? That'll do it. Glad that cravings aren't bothering you, that's a relief in itself. Hope you ended up with at least some sleep. Fill me in. I'll check later.

    Peace,

    Cat

  4. #184
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Zero sleep. Damn rls is about to drive me into a manic state
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  5. #185
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Morning of day 8. Only symptom is rls with claws dug in deep!!!!! At times i swear it feels as though its moving further down both the arms & legs then BAM it hits everywhere. About to make me certifiably nuts.
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  6. #186
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by asp44 View Post
    Morning of day 8. Only symptom is rls with claws dug in deep!!!!! At times i swear it feels as though its moving further down both the arms & legs then BAM it hits everywhere. About to make me certifiably nuts.
    I know that exact feeling. EXACTLY! It's not even what I'd call painful but I'm not sure I've ever experienced anything more annoying and uncomfortable. It could bring me to tears simply out of frustration. I wanted to beat on them. Know that feeling? Betcha you do!

    Peace,

    Cat
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  7. #187
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Did u have the burning sensations as well
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  8. #188
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Yeah it can only get better. Sooner than later would be nice though. Just to be comfortable in my own skin even if i dont sleep would be good for now

  9. #189
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by asp44 View Post
    Did u have the burning sensations as well
    No I don't think I did. Or at least not so bad that I noticed it. Achy and jumpy and I mean JUMPY. That feeling that you wish someone would lay you out on some mid evil torture device to stretch you out as far as you can go. Sitting still: Impossible! Fidgeting, bouncing, awful.

    Peace,

    Cat

  10. #190
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Where the heck r my posts

  11. #191
    asp44 is offline Member
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    AMEN!! And if that was not enough torture by itself, i at least fewl like i have to stretch my arms & legs like a Stretch Armstrong Doll.

  12. #192
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Why in the hell is this getting worse?! After 8 days i shoyld be past this cant sit still manic bs. But instead my damn legs have got to be on the go nonstop. WTH

  13. #193
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Did I forget to mention that This too Shall Pass...

  14. #194
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Yeah i just felt like whining. I ended up falling asleep around 3:30 til 9.
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  15. #195
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Well i must say that tomorrow i have my monthly visit to the doc. Yep that one. I was really thinking about going, until i started rereading my story on here. Well that scared me straight. I canceled. I dont think i have another day 1 in me. Too old, gonna ride this out, and stay the hell away from Dr. Feelgood!! Im still not great but i know im on my way to being great.
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  16. #196
    asp44 is offline Member
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    I decided to go for a drive to the doctors office (no not for any meds!!) but instead to go & look at all the people standing outside waiting to see the doc for their doc. I did not see one happy, smiling person. Glad i canceled. I will take another day or two or week whatever it is of lingering symptons (rls) instead of restarting this ugly cycle!!
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  17. #197
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by asp44 View Post
    I decided to go for a drive to the doctors office (no not for any meds!!) but instead to go & look at all the people standing outside waiting to see the doc for their doc. I did not see one happy, smiling person. Glad i canceled. I will take another day or two or week whatever it is of lingering symptons (rls) instead of restarting this ugly cycle!!
    WOW!!! That had to have been an eye-opener! Right? A big fat dose of motivation right there. Any one of them could have been you and I'm sure however you felt in the past, standing in line for the walk of shame, came back like blockbusters. I'm glad you cancelled that appointment too! Next step, at some point, is to call that office and instruct them to mark your chart "NO OPIATES". That'll seal the deal.

    I posted at least twice, once late last night and again this morning. Both posts gone. So sad. Gone. Just didn't want you to think I'd left you 'cause I have not!

    Peace,

    Cat

  18. #198
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Yesss i agree with Cat next step cut all those ties... good job Stay Strong for Today...

  19. #199
    Mikeski91 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey, I understand where you coming from, I once came off 50-60mg a day ct, was off for 3 months. Now I'm going around the rodeo again and I'm jumping off of 80mg and honestly I'm terrified... I'm truthfully scared. But it's okay, fear is just an emotion but i know I'm in for a rude Awakening. I've been in a cloud for the last week.... But I'm done.
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  20. #200
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mikeski91 View Post
    Hey, I understand where you coming from, I once came off 50-60mg a day ct, was off for 3 months. Now I'm going around the rodeo again and I'm jumping off of 80mg and honestly I'm terrified... I'm truthfully scared. But it's okay, fear is just an emotion but i know I'm in for a rude Awakening. I've been in a cloud for the last week.... But I'm done.
    Welcome back! I thought I recognized your name so I went back to see what you've been through in the past. I, as you see, am still here and just wanted to chime in.

    It's good that you're posting on others' threads but find one of your original ones and resurrect it. That way, we can all be reminded of some of your history, what you've tried and maybe what has brought you back to square one. You're not alone, obviously. Most people need more than one shot to get up on that horse and stay there. One of the problems, and you know it, is that after even the first try, we know what's in store for us and we dread it so it becomes easier to procrastinate. No criticism here, it's just the the way it is.

    So, I guess the question at this point is what are you going to do differently this time? Doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity (as per Albert Einstein). Where are you going to start? Cold turkey? That, in my opinion is the quickest way through this. The aftermath of the acute detox is what it is no matter how you get there but I also know that to non-addicts, a week of being sick sounds like it shouldn't be that bad. We know differently but once we can get our heads in the right place, accept the process and remain committed, that puts us firmly on the right path. Dispel any of the reasons you are going to get clean aside from the one and only one that really counts--FOR YOU!

    I hope to see your own thread reappear on the home page and when I do, I'll certainly respond to you there and you can count on me being on the sidelines cheering you on and trying to keep you motivated. Whine, complain, celebrate...whatever spirit moves you. We all totally understand what this is all about and what to expect. Best wishes and let's get on the road to recovery. It's mighty nice on this side.

    Peace,

    Cat

  21. #201
    GoodDaysAhead is offline Member
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    How you feeling asp? Restless legs any better? Stick with it man...it gets easier but have to ride out the roughness. Also, it's the rough time that's going to keep you clean and you will be reminded of it every time you think about using. It's a good teacher

  22. #202
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Well its been awhile since i posted, because i was ashamed of myself for getting my meds. I made it a week past their due date, then said a few wont hurt anf you can get some relief. Yeah i know BS.
    But anyway round 3 is here. I didnt get out of hand this time but i caved none the less. However whats done is done & i am moving in the right direction. I have over the last 2-3 weeks got it down to taking 7.5mg at 5am when i wake up from my best friend RLS. Then at 2pm & again at 10pm. I expect mild to moderate wds thru the taper. I was going to take my second dose at 1 but waited until 2. I honestly could of waited longer but im gonna do this for 3-4 days. Then drop to 5mgs in morning, & again at 1-2. Then at bedtime. Or maybe just jump since its a small dose. I can go 12 hrs with muld discomfort. Anyway all I can do is keep pushing thru & fighting this junk. I am trying!! I do want to be done. I also have a whole script of temazepam 15mg. Yes prescribed too me just never took them. Dont like any benzo. Suggestions??

  23. #203
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Glad you made it back not many get that chance my friend.. you have to be Mentally prepared to do this for self. Keep posting we are all here to support you.
    I'm proud of you it takes strength and courage to come back and say it didn't go as planned. Keep us updated on your progress moving forward...
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  24. #204
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Hey thanks for responding. Kinda figured everyone would think i was wasting their time. And i wouldn't blame them. This stuff sucks. It grabs hold and dont let up. Man i just gotta keep trudging along.

  25. #205
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    You are absolutely right. This stuff sux. But never think you're wasting our time. Anything we can do to help we are here for you. Not trying again would be giving up. And you are not doing that. You're back. No judgements here. We just wanna help you. What are you gonna do differently this time. Keep a positive mindset. That helped me so much during my detox. Keep posting, stick around! It gets so much better. Follow your taper. You can do this!!! Keep us updated!!

    Beef
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  26. #206
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Beef how r ya today? Good I hope. Thanx for stopping by. Nighttime for me is always worse. It seems as soon as the sun goes down everything amps up. Part of that has got to be mental. Doing ok right now. Tapering is doing what its supposed to. Man it is taking some serious discipline though. But haven't cheated yet. Keep up the good work. Been following ur thread.

  27. #207
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey asp, your not wasting anyone's time. We won't give up on you so don't give up on yourself. A Failure is only a Failure if you stop trying...yes Addiction is awful .... Insidious...but it's possible to get clean and stay clean I can promise you everything you are going through is so worth it. This was the hardest thing I have ever done but Life Clean is so amazing no running no chasing the drug free of the handcuffs.. you have to really want this for yourself.. keep posting and reading it helps...be well...
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  28. #208
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Hey lvg nghtmare, you are right without a doubt. I have to buckle down and keep on fighting. I am not having harsh symptoms but they r not exactly mild either. But so far each drop has been doable. Getting 5-6 hrs of sleep during taper until the horrid evil rls kicks in. But not as bad as ct. Down to 22.5 mgs of oxy a day which is better than the normal by FAR!! Thank u for stopping by. I wish u the best.

  29. #209
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey asp, while your sitting there going through this nightmare and that devil calls out to you go back read through your thread there's some good stuff there from members with alot of clean time.
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  30. #210
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Good advice. I have not posted in awhile but have checked other threads and reread mine as well. Its just a little anxiety right now. Trying to avoid the harsher symptoms by doing the taper. So its not real bad to be honest. Im not up there in the 200mg range anymore. Thank God!! Im ok where im at right now so i will stay here for 3 or 4 days then continue down. Im surprised i can have these pills in front of me all the time and not just take them like before. I needed to teach myself that i am in control of these pills & by tapering so far i have done that. Not cheated and its going well. Mild to moderate rls, a little anxiety when nighttime rolls around, & headache. So i want to get my tolerance as low as possible. So in 3-4 days will cut some more about out.
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