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150-200mg oxycodone c/t
  1. #241
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    A bad example? Wasting everyone's time?? Those dang blasted pills are such Liars!!!

    I'm on the outside looking in on you- so let me tell you what I see.

    I don't see a quitter, I see a fighter! The example you are setting is the real life struggle of an addict. Takes on to know one, right?? This journey is not all rainbows & unicorns and you showing the rest of us that even if you are knocked down you can get back up. Thank You!!

    Don't think for a minute you're wasting anyone's time. We are all addicts here who are no longer numbing that energy we have been harboring for so long. All that good juju energy has to go somewhere, right?? You already knew this because you've come back here. Take full advantage of all this good juju- we got plenty & willing & ready to share! No man left behind, right!

    Welcome back & Congrats of Day 5! You know the drill & you know what you gotta do. You also know getting clean is the easy part. What are you gonna do different this time?

    Nothing Changes IF Nothing Changes,

    ❤️
    Che
    Beefaroni7272 and asp44 like this.

  2. #242
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Thanks for the kind words. The first thing im gonna different is see an addiction therapist friday. Nervous about that for some reason but damn i got to accept some help, i have tried & tried on my own with little success. I cut my questionable dr out today, & will just use the local va clinic for my gp.
    I dont understand why for the life of me its so difficult to just stay the hell away from those horrid pills. Yeah i have pain from back surgeries but who doesn't have pain?! Frustrated to say the least. Hoping the therapist can help me figure it out. Again thank u. I appreciate u.

  3. #243
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    CC is wise and cunning. What are we gonna do different to make it stick?? The appt with the addiction specialist is a great start. We do have to change the way we think and behave. That's how we got here in the first place. The fact that you keep coming back and stay with it speaks volumes about your character. You know this isn't the way to live. AA, NA are another outlet. I just started going to meetings a while back and they definitely help out. Face to face support is very helpful and it gives me another layer of accounrability.

    You can do this my friend!! We got your back!!
    Keep fighting the good fight. It's for your life!!!
    Beef
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  4. #244
    asp44 is offline Member
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    I mentioned in an earlier post asking if temazepam would help with sleep & rls. I threw them out. Ive never had a problem with benzos but why risk it. I have enougg to worry about. I know it improves slowly. Just gotta ride it out.
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  5. #245
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Im going to try a na or aa meeting, but I want to wait & see how the session with the therapist turns out. I despise wds, but time after time I find myself right back where I started.


    Beef, you mentioned acceptability, honestly I dont have one ounce of accountability except for looking after my mom. Maybe the meetings would help to change that?!
    I swear im a glutton for punishment lol. Take care and i appreciate u and everyone here.
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  6. #246
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    An addict alone is bad company. Go check one out. All you have to lose is an hour of your time. And who knows you may find just what you're looking for. One addict helping another. It may take a few meetings to find your home. Just don't get discouraged. I had to go to 2 before I found one that was right for me. But when you're there you'll know it. And they'll be lucky to have you!!

    Keep posting!!
    Beef
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  7. #247
    MamaByrd is offline New Member
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    I'm new as today. Ill try my best to give any advice I have but I'm having somewhat same issues. I just maxe myself get up and walk around my yard and now my legs don't feel all crawly. Just stay motivated. Determined. Have self discipline. Find something worth fighting and staying sober for. Like I said in my thread. I can do anything for my kids. They are the main reason I am doing what I am doing. My addiction wasn't as bad as yours so I'm assuming my withdrawal ain't as bad. This is however my second time detoxing and my last. I'm done for good. But my first time was pure HELL. It was a really bad addiction. I caught myself early on this time thankfully before it got worse. But my first time I would toss and turn and end up getting on the couch and finally dozing off. I can't remember how long it lasted. This time I was lucky enough to have a few klonopin to help with that along with muscle relaxers. It helps. I wish you all the best. Hang in there. One day at a time! Tomorrow is day 5 for me and I'm so proud. Not one craving and I'm feeling a lot better since I joined this forum.
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  8. #248
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Good morning all, feeling pretty decent all things consudered. Sleep is improving much faster than previous attempts at quitting. Just wish i could stay asleep for more than an hr at a time before my legs decude they want to run a marathon.

  9. #249
    Wavision is offline Member
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    Hey asp

    Nobody thinks you're a failure or a waste of time. The bottom line is you keep trying and want to quit. Can you pinpoint the things that make you keep going back to the pills?

    Boredom? Stress? Anxiety? Depression? Pain?

    It sounds like you will benefit from seeing the addiction therapist.

    Have you tried meetings??
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  10. #250
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Wavi, I seem to get thru the acute detox and after a few weeks out of boredom & feeling like a slug it seems i go to my doc to break the cycle. Then the damn addiction cycle begins anew. I just need to give it more time after stopping the meds to build myself back up. Im not going back to that junk. Im done, too old for this nonsense. Im going to get a spinal stimulator inserted under the skin for pain issues. I will find out when in a few days.

  11. #251
    asp44 is offline Member
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    So I went and seen the therapist today, actually done some good I think. She helped me to identify my triggers, and ways to cope with them when they rear up. Going again as I feel the more tools at my disposal the better off I am. Day 8 or 9 in a few hours. So thats good. Melatonin actually doing a good job at getting me to sleep but an hr or two later im kicking those legs. So up out of bed to the shower to soak or play on the computer for a bit. Can usually get back to sleep for 3-4 more hrs. Other than i feel good. Just gotta stay the course and im pretty sure I will. No more damn day 1s.

  12. #252
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    Asp-

    That's what's up! Loved your post! They always say Nothing changes if Nothing changes, that is the plan truth. This journey is all about creating a new life where using is not an option. That hill might look to steep to climb but keep climbing b/c the views along the way to the top are amazing my friend.

    Keep on collecting those tools and, just like you've said, stay the course.

    I'll Climb that Hill in My Own Way,

    ❤️
    Che

  13. #253
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Che, I love the way you look at things. Always positive and inspiring!! Thank u for stopping by, I look forward to hearing from u soon.

  14. #254
    asp44 is offline Member
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    The only physical things still going is the constant need to stretch my legs ( only from about 10pm-3am) weird?! But it sucks none the less. And arms & legs have the usual burning sensation. Sleep from 4-9 so its ok. So this go around is par for the course for me. I will talk to my dr. Monday & finally cut the supply line. Should of done it months ago.

  15. #255
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Very nice asp! Keep up the good work. Proud of you!

    Beef
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  16. #256
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Beef, its good to have people like u & many others on this forum in my corner to encourage me along. I appreciate it a lot. I have another meeting next wednesday with the therapist. Hopefully it goes as well as the first one. Today has been really bearable. Night time is here, so im sure ill be flopping around at least a few more days.

  17. #257
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Another day free from obsessing, counting, rationing, & all the other junk associated with the pills. rls is still there but slowlyyyyy improving. Still bad enough that it keeps me up til about 4am, then magically improves enough to get some sleep. Hate that stuff!!!!! I did find an na meeting in a nearby town, just not sure how I feel about going yet. Will figure it out soon. I have finally figured out that I despise anything opiate related. Took long enough huh?? But whats done is done cant change the past. I can and do however have a renewed sense of optimism concerning the future. This is the turning point. I have applied for a pale grant to attend school in the next few months and at the end of the month I should be well enough to return to the workforce. Just don't want to crash and burn so I'm waiting til I know I can handle it. Getting better day by day. I have nowhere to go but up and its looking better than it has in a long time.

  18. #258
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Havnt checked in, in a few days but all is well. I am actually in florence Alabama, reuniting with a gal i havnt seen since 91! But its going very well. Went to Huntsville's space camp yesterday and had a good time. Walked further than i have in the past month.

  19. #259
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by asp44 View Post
    I have been around these forums for close to a year now, and still I put myself right back to square one. Im so over this bs. Tomorrow starts day 5 clean again, & God willing my last day 5. If no one responds I completely understand. I feel like im a bad example and should just quit wasting everyones time. I will still use this as a journal so to speak for my own thoughts.
    I cant do this wd junk anymore!! Not at all worth it. I have to make this stick. Getting to old for this nonsense. Again the restlessness and insomnia are terrible. But I know it will improve. Time is a great healer, but man im impatient.
    Trying sleepy time tea & melatonin in a few days to try & help with sleep. No use right now just to restless. Im still trying. I have a appt friday with an addiction therapist. Nervous about that for sure. But i have to go, Ive tried this on my own too many times with little success. Cat, Beef, Living, etc hope ur all well. Wish me luck.
    I wish that I knew how many times I have said that I'm happy to see someone back here but so sorry for the reasons of the return. A part of recovery is relapse. Plain and simple. I can't even tell you how many times I've done it. The good news is that with each relapse, there are lessons learned and we carry them forward. So long as we keep chugging along and trying, all of those lessons will come together and we'll finally have the strength and fortitude to get it. Take a peek back and trace what led you to this place and this time. I know that you have significant pain issues (me too!) but it's a choice we make to live life in peace (al beit with some pain). I remind myself of how it felt to see that bottle of pills dwindle and know that I'd have to soon jump through all the hoops for a refill. In the old days (I'm old!) the doctor would give me a script for multiple refills. When they changed the law, I changed my thinking. The shame I felt every time I went to pick up a refill, the hassle and shame of calling the doctor for new scripts. I finally decided that that pain was worse than the physical I had. Don't get me wrong. Staying on the wagon wasn't a cake walk but something happened prior to my last Day 1. I describe it as a switch being flipped. All my lessons became crystal clear and it became easy to make the decision that my self esteem and freedom were far more important. I was right.

    I am glad you're back and I know that you're going to kick azz. Keep posting.

    Peace,

    Cat

  20. #260
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by asp44 View Post
    Havnt checked in, in a few days but all is well. I am actually in florence Alabama, reuniting with a gal i havnt seen since 91! But its going very well. Went to Huntsville's space camp yesterday and had a good time. Walked further than i have in the past month.
    Glad things are going well for you, had to be nice to reconnect with your friend. Staying active definitely helps as you know. And Space Camp!! Very nice, always good to see another nerd on here!! Lol! Keep doing what you're doing!!

    Beef

  21. #261
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Still going well. Very well actually. Making Alabama my new home. So excited & nervous at the same time.

  22. #262
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    ASP-

    Just stopping by to check on you. It’s been a couple few, U good? Drop an update when you can & let us know.

    Congrats on the move!

    Home Sweet Home Alabama,

    ❤️
    CC

  23. #263
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Update time, everything is good still on the straight narrow for 3 months now. Got married may 5th, and life is getting better all the day.
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  24. #264
    ForMe30 is offline Member
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    Congrats on 3 months and getting married! What an exciting time for you!!

  25. #265
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Thank you for the congrats!! Yes life is better than it has been in a long time. Only issue remaining is RLS. Tried all the traditional meds l8ke requup, carb llevo, and mirapex to no avail. Even dropped 30 lbs and got in far better shape but nothing has helped. Oh well, life goes on. 3-4 hrs of sleep every night is tough, but still hoping it will resolve itself.

  26. #266
    asp44 is offline Member
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    I can't believe I'm saying this, but after 3 long months, the rls has gone dormant & I am sleeping about 6-7 hours each night. Thought that would never end.

  27. #267
    ForMe30 is offline Member
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    Yay!!!!!! So good to hear!
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  28. #268
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Just a quick update. GOING on 4 months clean from the pills. All is well. Sleep is still a challenge sometimes, but gradually improving. Overall couldn't be better all things considered. Thank u all my forum friends, support is key for anyone going thru this, & the support here is so appreciaed.

  29. #269
    david1005 is offline New Member
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    Oxycodone is a moderately potent opioid pain medication. It is usually generally taken for relief of moderate to severe pain. Oxycodone improves the quality of life of a person with many kinds of pain.

  30. #270
    asp44 is offline Member
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    Um thanks for the description Dave? But it's a been a little over 5 months of no pain meds. No issues remaining, even sleep is almost normal again. So glad to be off those things. Good luck to all who are fighting this.

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