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18 years old and scared. Please help.
  1. #31
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Sterling,

    It doesn't sound like a very fun morning but it is necessary. When I first joined this Forum there was a frequent poster, Ruth. She doesn't post anymore but she's been in recovery, well probably 16 years now and she's a drug counselor at a women's facility. She told me that we stop growing emotionally when we first pick up drugs. I have learned that that statement is very true. When I finally got clean, man oh man did stuff come at me left and right. Of course, I had buried nearly 20 years of stuff I hadn't dealt with. I expect it will take the rest of my life to weed through my issues. So, I'm a grandmother but I'm like 16 for real.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  2. #32
    Lastchance186 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sterling98 View Post
    Thanks everyone, I appreciate everyones support here. Truly a great place and group of people. Today I woke up and felt an overwhelming surge of emotions, maybe I was masking everything for so long I didn't realize how much emotional pain i was in. I spent an hour crying this morning, it was really hard. I know I was covering up something that really hurt me 4 or 5 months ago, it was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. I felt comfort in the drugs because it hid that from me and I didn't have to deal with it. I don't know how to process everything emotionally, I think ill need a therapist or something. Today, physically feeling very sore and goosebumps everywhere. I have quite a few things to do today so I'm hoping I can get everything done. Been going to the bathroom a lot but took some immodium for that. I just can't believe how well these drugs hide emotions, its insane. Ill keep everyone posted on how I'm doing, I'm hoping this all passes soon. The depression is really bad.

    Sterling
    Hello Sterling

    I have a granddaughter your age, I started when I was in my 20's, I didn't know until 3 years ago there was such a thing a pill sick, I would use and stop and use and stop.... When I had WD I had no ideal what was going on with me, I thought it was all mental, I was admitted into a mental hospital because when I would stop taking them I would cry and cry I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and given all kinds of medications... Thought I was losing my mind... twice I was taken away from my family due to a nervous break down....looking back on it all the time it was withdrawals.... from pain medications given for surgeries, having babies and other, issues... here I am now on day 5 going through the same thing i was hospitalized for twice... I just want to tell you dont be like me 20 year and you are still battling this... Take care of it now so you can have a productive life and be all you want and can be.... I sit her and beat myself up because I should have known better.... We didn't have this kind of support system or information back then. When you know better you do better....

    Good luck you can do this
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  3. #33
    Sterling98 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey everyone! I have cut off everyone who enables me and is currently using. It was hard but it felt rewarding in a sense. I'm currently in the bath and it's my new best friend. Been taking some Ativan and clonidine and it's helping. The one thing with clonidine is don't stand up too fast or you'll fall down. Happened to me last night - got up from the couch to the kitchen and had to grab onto the counter as I fell down. Very weird. I'm hoping the restless legs go away soon because it's driving me absolutely insane. One thing which I I found weird - I was able to fall asleep fine and slept for a good 6 hours and woke up feeling refreshed. Got lots of studying to do today so I'll head off and do that. Which days are supposed to be the worst? And when do things get better? I know I sound redundent but forgive me. Love to all!

    Sterling

  4. #34
    xHaGGeNx is offline New Member
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    Honestly bro, I've been in your exact situation and I started off when I was 17 and a freshman in college. Honest to gosh best thing to do is be honest with your doctor and tell him your situation. It's tough man but you may just have a good enough doctor that will understand. Either he will recommend you get treatment right away in some inpatient or outpatient setting, which will screw you in school. The other is that he could possibly treat you himself. Trying to stretch a pill habit for 20 days with just two pills a day is definitely going to be extremely difficult. I'm around if you need to talk.

    Edit: I guess I should have checked your last post. Seems like you are pushing through this and that's awesome. With short acting opiates, it took me like a good week of being off of them completely to start feeling better. I could sleep a little more, less restless leg, my emotions were not as crazy, etc. I'm around if you need help bud.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-20-2016 at 08:23 PM.

  5. #35
    Sterling98 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey guys,

    Today is getting a bit better. Yesterday was pure hell - worst leg pain I've ever had in my life. I was constantly in the bath and putting muscle cream on my legs. I was shivering and just could not get warm at all. My body felt like it weighed 1000 pounds, it took so much effort just to get from the couch to the washroom. Emotions are still really bad, feeling empty inside with passing feelings of sadness and crying. This is hard, it sounds pathetic but the drugs were almost like a friend to me. They made me happy and took away everything that hurt. Today the leg pain is still there, not quite as bad, but its still early in the day so who knows what will happen. I'm heading off to school soon so I'm hoping i can get through it. This really f*cking sucks, I am getting really depressed about the whole thing. I feel like it will never end. The sadness is truly overwhelming. Thanks to everyone who keeps posting and building me up - each and every one of you are truly amazing people and it restores my faith in humanity that others are so willing to help me.

    Sterling

  6. #36
    Sterling98 is offline Junior Member
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    So yesterday was awful. By far the worst day in my withdrawal. I couldn't make it through school and had to come home. Took some clonidine when I got home as well as some Tylenol. Passed right out to the point where I was waking up gasping for air and my heart was beating really slow. Not sure if i had a reaction to the clonidine. Fell asleep around 10pm and was wide awake at 2am with massive, and I mean massive, leg cramps. I tried everything to make them go away but nothing worked. So here I am wide awake for hours and have school in 2 hours. I can't miss today because we are being assessed. I just hope to god I can make it through this. Really just want something to take the physical pain away, it's really upsetting me. I'll keep everyone posted.

  7. #37
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Hi Sterling,

    Hang in there. Day 3? You only have a couple more days and you'll be feeling much better. How much clonidine did you take? Be careful with it because that might be the reason your heart rate felt low. Are you drinking enough? Dehydration will also affect your heart rate. Hot baths and heating pads, plenty of water, high potassium foods like bananas are about all you're going to do for the leg issues.

    Be strong. Only a couple more days of this and the aches and leg stuff will be gone. You'll be left feeling tired and weak but that at least is easier to handle. You're young! You'll bounce back quickly.

    Peace,

    Cat

  8. #38
    Lastchance186 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sterling98 View Post
    Hey guys,

    Today is getting a bit better. Yesterday was pure hell - worst leg pain I've ever had in my life. I was constantly in the bath and putting muscle cream on my legs. I was shivering and just could not get warm at all. My body felt like it weighed 1000 pounds, it took so much effort just to get from the couch to the washroom. Emotions are still really bad, feeling empty inside with passing feelings of sadness and crying. This is hard, it sounds pathetic but the drugs were almost like a friend to me. They made me happy and took away everything that hurt. Today the leg pain is still there, not quite as bad, but its still early in the day so who knows what will happen. I'm heading off to school soon so I'm hoping i can get through it. This really f*cking sucks, I am getting really depressed about the whole thing. I feel like it will never end. The sadness is truly overwhelming. Thanks to everyone who keeps posting and building me up - each and every one of you are truly amazing people and it restores my faith in humanity that others are so willing to help me.

    Sterling
    Hello Sterling

    I can understand when you say the drug is like a friend, it is and you are going through mourning it, like a death or divorce. I have to address the mental because I am right there with you.... Not only are you letting go of the drug which you thought help you through a lot and gave you a feeling of feel good, and accomplishment it's false and will turned on you..You are also letting go of people that you thought were friends as well, although you say it was rewarding in your subconscious mind those were people you felt were your friends, you hung out with and had the most fun with getting high.... Although it is a great accomplishment it feels so finial I admire you because you are smart and you are holding yourself accountable something I didn't learn early on....

    Never underestimate the drug and the brain is far more brilliant than we give it credit for, and addiction is cunning and clever. Once you are on the other side you will replace the drug with a healthier choice and you will make new and clean friends... You will be able to make better choice because your mind will be clearer with every passing day.... Will you have bad days of course because this life is full of ups and downs and this is normal...

    If you can please have some type of recovery plan..... NA, Church, outpatient recovery, what ever it takes... Have a good day Sterling

  9. #39
    Sterling98 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey everyone,

    Here we are at day 5. Leg cramping and exhaustion is still really bad. Nothing helps and i'm starting to loose hope. I researched PAWS and I'm worried I might have it. I have become really depressed and feel like this will never end. I seem to be getting worse instead of better and the pain is becoming unbearable. Ive been drinking lots of water and eating okay, taking immodium still for the runs. Really feeling like using again but i made myself a promise to stay on track this time.

  10. #40
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Sterling,

    Hang on! I bet you're going to feel much better tomorrow. Not perfect but much, much better. The leg cramps and restlessness should be gone at any time and so will the aches. Like I've said, for me they didn't diminish gradually but ended very abruptly. I laid in bed afraid to move because I was afraid things would kick back up but they didn't! You may need the Immodium for a few more days but in the scheme of things, so what? You'll be tired and weak but it will be such a relief. Anytime now.

    This isn't PAWS. Many people make this mistake. PAWS actually isn't that common and it's the return of symptoms MONTHS down the road. It's really quite rare. You are exhausted from your detox, This takes a toll on us mentally and physically but things are going to turn around truly any hour.

    Peace,

    Cat

  11. #41
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    Congrats on 5 days! That's awesome. Keep doing what you're doing and try too stay positive. I know that's easier said than done. It IS going to get better, I can promise you that. You didn't get this way in 5 days and it's not going to fix itself in five days.

    Try and get out of the house. Walk around the block and listen to music. Take an hour and just go drive. Being positive and clearing my mind helped me a lot. If I just sat on the couch and felt sorry for myself it made time go by slow and made me feel worse. I know it's tough, but you're going to make it. You will start feeling better each day now. Then the mental part will really start.

    Stick with it sterling. You've come so far and don't want to throw it all away now. You don't want to have to go through these past five days again do you? Keep your head up and climb out of this hole. We're all rooting for you!
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  12. #42
    Lastchance186 is offline Member
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    I am so excited Sterling

    Day 5 keep going it gets better...

    I am passionate about the babies on here and yes you are a baby.... To me...lol

    Because I was a baby when I started now I am older, don't want to say old....lol

    My doctors turn me out, having babies I used... Surgeries I used, bad woman problems... I used
    Have a tooth pulled.... I used

    Before you know it I was using all the time, no one told me hey you can get addicted I was naive to say the least..

    Then one day, not only did i need them I thought.. I wanted them... Would find any reason to use a little ache oh I was dying needed a pill...

    20 years later him I am.

    You know early in the game get off run and don't look back.... Take your life back... enjoy it pill free...
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  13. #43
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    Sterling,
    Hi there, how are you feeling today?? Day 5 or 6? Either way you should be feeling some relief, and thank goodness right? This morning I read through your entire thread. Let me just say that your doing really well. I know little slip ups here and there, no big deal. Your on the right path and have the frame of mind to beat this. For that I say to you welcome back to the real world!!
    Yes, sometimes the real world su^cks, but we have to experience the good the bad and the ugly, to really enjoy the wonders that life has to offer. You talked about something happening that made you want to numb your feelings. Unfortunately, those feelings are still there, and eventually we have to deal with them. On the other hand, numbing your feelings blocks out all those good feelings too!
    You are so young, with your life just waiting for you to explode into being who you want to be, doing all the things you can't wait to do. For that, I'm so excited for you!!!
    Stay on this path and your well on your way out of the darkness and despair. I promise you!!

    Keep on posting, so we can walk through this wonderful journey together!!

    Blessings to give you strength to get through these last couple days. Your life is waiting for you!!!
    Shelly

  14. #44
    Sterling98 is offline Junior Member
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    I've been dreading writing this post. I relapsed, again. I am absolutely disgusted with myself. I made it to 7 days clean and gave in, because i wanted the pain to stop. It hasn't been the same this time though, I have no enjoyment from it I only feel pain relief and nauseous. I currently have 20 pills in my possession and I know I need to flush them and start all over again. Im terrified of going through withdrawal again, it was pure hell. I am so scared that I can't get a grip on this addiction, but I know that if i go into rehab (which I honestly think i might need at this point) I will have to drop out of school. Im so lost and confused and I feel so so so lonely. I want to quit so badly and stay quit. I feel like a pile of garbage.


  15. #45
    Sterling98 is offline Junior Member
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    Just a quick update and warning to all. I tried to take my life last night. I am in the hospital being held here for 3 days under medical and psychiatric observation. I was a happy and healthy man until these pills took over my life and I would say 95% of the reason I tried to kill myself was because of the addiction. To people who haven't quit yet, I know it's easier said than done, but please try and get help before it's too late. I was lucky enough that my college roommate found me in time and called 911, but I could have easily not been here today.

  16. #46
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sterling98 View Post
    Just a quick update and warning to all. I tried to take my life last night. I am in the hospital being held here for 3 days under medical and psychiatric observation. I was a happy and healthy man until these pills took over my life and I would say 95% of the reason I tried to kill myself was because of the addiction. To people who haven't quit yet, I know it's easier said than done, but please try and get help before it's too late. I was lucky enough that my college roommate found me in time and called 911, but I could have easily not been here today.

    Sterling,

    I'm so sorry to hear this, but so thankful your roommate was around to help. I can tell you that I was in your position more than once wanting to end my life thinking there was no way out. I was so consumed by addiction, had lost everything I loved and owned, and thought ending my life was the only choice to make. The second time I was nearly successful.

    But guess what….you can get out, and you can change your life for the better. I turned my life completely around. And yes, you can too I promise. There is hope. I found it and you can too. Get well my friend. And please come back. We truly care about you.

    Randy
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  17. #47
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sterling98 View Post
    I've been dreading writing this post. I relapsed, again. I am absolutely disgusted with myself. I made it to 7 days clean and gave in, because i wanted the pain to stop. It hasn't been the same this time though, I have no enjoyment from it I only feel pain relief and nauseous. I currently have 20 pills in my possession and I know I need to flush them and start all over again. Im terrified of going through withdrawal again, it was pure hell. I am so scared that I can't get a grip on this addiction, but I know that if i go into rehab (which I honestly think i might need at this point) I will have to drop out of school. Im so lost and confused and I feel so so so lonely. I want to quit so badly and stay quit. I feel like a pile of garbage.

    Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom and stay there for a bit to be able to see the light and appreciate solid ground. I am sorry that this is life threatening for you and I hope you get the help that you need. We are here for you and you will def be in my prayers.
    Sending healing love and light xxoo
    Believe in yourself and take it one step at a time. The world can seem so big and scary at times. I pray that you find love in a higher power so that you never feel alone again.
    Butterfly xxoo

  18. #48
    lost89 is offline New Member
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    Hi sterling! I have been reading your posts. Our day 1's were the same and I could totally relate to you. I know what its like to be in school and either being high or trying to prevent WD's. I know how you feel relapsing but don't get discouraged. I relapsed so many times. I always gave in and each time I would cry and the cycle would last for about 1-2 weeks. just keep trying! one day you will have your last day 1. Promise you life is so much better without them. I know you can do this! wanting to quit means that your headed in the right direction.

  19. #49
    Lastchance186 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sterling98 View Post
    Just a quick update and warning to all. I tried to take my life last night. I am in the hospital being held here for 3 days under medical and psychiatric observation. I was a happy and healthy man until these pills took over my life and I would say 95% of the reason I tried to kill myself was because of the addiction. To people who haven't quit yet, I know it's easier said than done, but please try and get help before it's too late. I was lucky enough that my college roommate found me in time and called 911, but I could have easily not been here today.
    Hello Sterling

    My baby, I am so sorry it had to come to this.... There was no luck in your roommate finding you only God....It was not your time to go you have so much more of life to live.... You are part of the universe and you are needed and loved...

    You are a very special person, in your journey you will be a life saver yourself.... The addiction will be on of your strongest fights.... You will have a testimony to save others life....

    But for now concentrate on you and getting better.... Be real with everyone so you can began your recovery....

    The physical is only the beginning the real fight come with strength of the mental...

    You can do this reach inside for the strength God gave us to survive...

    My prayers and thoughts are with you!

  20. #50
    Sterling98 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey everyone,

    Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for all your replies and loving words and encouragement. It means so much to me and each and every one of you along this journey have made a substantial impact in my life. You are all so special and absolutely beautiful people.

    I'm getting out of the hospital today and that makes me very very nervous. It appears I have some liver and kidney damage from the percocets as well, they said if i continue using them I will cause irreversible damage. Im so scared, I know I have it in me to quit - its the mental part that keeps bringing me back. I feel this extreme sense of boredom when I'm not high, like everything is just so dull and pointless.

    I've missed so much school and now I'm afraid I'm going to flunk my finals. I have a lot of catching up to do. But I am just lucky to be alive today and not permanently damaged from the drugs. I need to value my life instead of taking it for granted. I just feel like I'm in this big black abyss and i keep trying to climb out and i just fall back down. I really want to go to rehab and get proper help but i just don't have the time to do it.

    But thank you all, truly. Reading your comments made me feel loved and less alone. It means so much to me.

    Love, Sterling

  21. #51
    Lastchance186 is offline Member
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    Hello Sterling

    Was just thinking about you, wondering how you were doing?

  22. #52
    LifeSaver77 is offline Member
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    Sterling!!!

    I read your updates. Many addicts have a rock bottom just like yours...it's something to learn from, and move beyond.

    Opiate abuse is rampant in the US right now...many intelligent, strong, capable people have gotten wrapped up in it, through no intent of their own. There is no stigma in admitting you need outside help, in fact, it's the hard and right choice to make, I think.

    How have you been getting on since? I hate that you feel so alone in this. There is no shame whatsoever in reaching out to your family for help, or, even the health services department at your college.

  23. #53
    Sterling98 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey guys,

    I'm struggling but I've made the choice to start my day 1 tomorrow. I'm ready to do this again, one last time I hope! Got my supplies ready: Epson salts, bengay, multivitamins, lots of fresh fruits and protein powder. I'm going to need lots of support this time around I think so I'll be posting every step of the way! I know I can do this, let's get er done!
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  24. #54
    Lastchance186 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sterling98 View Post
    Hey guys,

    I'm struggling but I've made the choice to start my day 1 tomorrow. I'm ready to do this again, one last time I hope! Got my supplies ready: Epson salts, bengay, multivitamins, lots of fresh fruits and protein powder. I'm going to need lots of support this time around I think so I'll be posting every step of the way! I know I can do this, let's get er done!
    You go Sterling

    You got this, you know what to expect now.... Does not make it easier makes it doable.... Know the mind is cunning and will try to trick you.... Know the end result is life free of the pill..... It will be all worth it in the end.... You are all ready... You will be able to look back on this one day and say man... I did this I can do anything....


    I am with you all the way stay strong, stay on task, and know that this to shall pass... You do understand you are in a fight for freedom so you give it everything you got....Take one day at a time don't look back at the pass, because you cannot recall it.... Don't look at the future because you cannot predict it.... Look at the here and now because this is where you are...

    Live it learn from it and leave it...Behind....

    You got this, and you will be able to help someone else through it....

    Keep posting....

  25. #55
    Sterling98 is offline Junior Member
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    Day 1: pain was pretty nasty in my legs this morning, popped some neurontin and clonazepam and went to school. I was shaky all day. Got home from school and took some tylenol 1's, clonazepam and smoked a little weed. It seems to have helped a bit in terms of pain and agitation. Overall not a bad day, keeping my head up and just pushing through the pain. Its actually making me angry at myself, I'm in pain and I did it to myself, so i don't feel sorry from myself.

  26. #56
    Sterling98 is offline Junior Member
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    I feel like the biggest bag of sh*t to ever walk the earth. I broke down and admitted everything to my college roomie. He agreed to take my pills from me and dispense them to me at a much lower dose to help me wean off. I was doing good and then I found them and popped 4 of them just now. I feel so ashamed and guilty because I was doing so well. I'm terrified I'm never going to kick this. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me and why I can't stay strong. I am going to admit this to him when he gets home from class and he said before if I mess up I am going to rehab. Finals are next week and I just want to make it through and then be done with this. I'm scared guys. I'm terrified this is going to follow me around for the rest of my life. What if I'm clean for 7 months and then relapse. What if this is a daily struggle for the rest of my life. How do you all keep your sobriety? Do I need meetings or what? I hate myself right now.
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  27. #57
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sterling98 View Post
    I feel like the biggest bag of sh*t to ever walk the earth. I broke down and admitted everything to my college roomie. He agreed to take my pills from me and dispense them to me at a much lower dose to help me wean off. I was doing good and then I found them and popped 4 of them just now. I feel so ashamed and guilty because I was doing so well. I'm terrified I'm never going to kick this. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me and why I can't stay strong. I am going to admit this to him when he gets home from class and he said before if I mess up I am going to rehab. Finals are next week and I just want to make it through and then be done with this. I'm scared guys. I'm terrified this is going to follow me around for the rest of my life. What if I'm clean for 7 months and then relapse. What if this is a daily struggle for the rest of my life. How do you all keep your sobriety? Do I need meetings or what? I hate myself right now.
    No sense hating yourself. It's a waste of energy and just makes you feel worse. I've been where you are more than once so I do understand how hopeless you feel. You are not not hopeless and sobriety is possible. It just takes work. It's a good thing that you spoke with your roomie. The first person you tell is always the hardest. Let him know that you slipped. That's a second good step. Honesty. Yes. I do believe that meetings will help you. You can find a sponsor and get a call list so when you're hanging on that ledge, there's someone to talk you off. Once finals are done, detox and rehab is most definitely an option and if you can go, you should. There's no shame in it and they will provide you with the tools you will need moving forward. It will be up to you to use those tools.

    Don't look and worry about 7 months down the road. Live in the moment. Unfortunately, yes addiction is going to follow you the rest of your life. But you don't have to allow it to control you like it does now. This is why a recovery plan is so important. You need to understand that opiates will always be a danger to you just like they are to me. By changing, we are able to live a full live and live it sober. I'm sure I was in as deep or even deeper than you. Over six years ago, I somehow found the switch on my back and the courage to believe that if I was patient, it would get better. It did. Much, much better.

    Shake it off. It's done and you can't undo it. Your recovery awaits you. Why not now?

    Peace,

    Cat

  28. #58
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    Sterling, I feel for you my man. My best advice to you is to possibly slow down with your thoughts and all of the "what if" scenarios. Opiates are unforgiving. They do not care if you are male/female, how old you are or what profession you are.

    Ive been on opiates for the better part of my life. Im 31 and started using at age 15. I too. Never thought I could get sober. The only thing that would stop me was to be put in handcuffs, either the real ones or the liquid ones. You dont want either I promise.

    I know its cliche but you really do have to take it one day at a time. I got sober in 2012 for nearly 2 years and worked a good program of recovery and relapsed about 18 months ago. It wrnt from taking a couple of pills every now and then to everyday very quickly with the end result of me going back to the methadone clinic, barf. Going the route of methadone or suboxone is not something I would recommend to someone at a young age with a fairly lower daily doseage of opiates.

    I dont have any clear cut answers for you my friend. I wish I did. But I just want you to know that I feel your pain brother and I get it. Just dont stop trying. Withdrawal is nasty but I promise you if you can manage to stay clean it DOES get better. You have to find out who you are and what you want out of life.

    I read where you said you relapsed after 7 days? 7 days doesnt seem like a lot, but for an addict in withdrawal 7 days can feel like 20 years when you are sick.

    Are you taking anything during your withdrawals to help eliminate some of the pain?

  29. #59
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Well worth the pain of wd. It will burn in your mind and act as a deterent. In 9 month in clean of almost 8 yrs binge on vicodin. I wont lie, had a good time until they did nothing but make me feel normal without the euphoria. Its a double edge sword really. Its borrowing future happiness but it has and will be to be refunded. 2 weeks of pure mental hell to the point of not wishing to live. Then on day 18, i had my first burst of natural endorphins. I felt great. For the next 90 days it was misery accompanied by brief moments of contempt. Fast forward 9 month, I am soo glad I quit that >>>>. Also, everyone needs to quit NOW, the gov is changing the rules on these meds. Eventually it will come down to one a script for a week. You will have to see a doctor every week to continue taking them. Thats ungodly money draining. So quit now!

  30. #60
    krash1 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
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    First off since this my first post I will give some info on me. I was on MS Contin(morphine xr) 400-600mg per day and 40mg of hydrocodone I have been clean for 14 weeks. So the amount you're taking and the length of time that you have been using is definitely something that can be kicked. I can tell you how to kick, but what I really want to tell you is you need help from family, preferably your parents. If addiction and withdrawal has you attempting suicide then getting clean is something that you will need help doing and your roommate isn't equipped for that kinda help. Don't worry about college it will always be there. Us addict try to juggle 10 balls while trying to keep it a secret and that's the hardest part. Drop everything but what is best for you. I guarantee your health and safety are the most important things to your parents. Tell them your problem and your addiction will have nowhere to hide

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