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3rd time is a charm? Relapse queen.
  1. #1
    EMac711 is offline New Member
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    Default 3rd time is a charm? Relapse queen.

    So,

    Here is my final, last resort. Reaching out to the world wide web for strangers support and so appreciated advice. I am currently at the end of day 1 of being "clean" from oxy. I have been struggling with addiction for the past year and have relapsed 3 times. I am a high functioning addict, with a full time professional job, have two young children and am maintaining a household all while keeping this demon a secret. I take anywhere from 30mg-60mg of oxy a day. I am at the brim of losing it all and feel as if my "luck" is about to run out. This is a living Hell. I have stolen pills from family members, faked pain to get scripts from doctors and have spent more money than I can bare to write down just to feel normal. This is the first time that I have stated this out loud. This needs to be it, I have never wanted anything so badly in my life. The w/d's and the fact that tomorrow I return to work in the morning is making it so hard for me to not call to obtain more of these evil pills that ran my life for so long. I have a few xanex 1mg tabs and about 1 and a half 30 mg tab of IR Adderall. Also a box of 20 immodiums. What is the best way of going about this? All feedback means more to me than you can imagine. I literally cannot do this anymore.
    Rachelle1stbb and DravenDomnq like this.

  2. #2
    Kicking74 is offline Junior Member
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    I feel for you & totally relate. Today is my 12th day with no oxy, I used 160mg a day for years, however I'm using suboxone to assist me. I can't do the WDs with raising a family, plus I really need to get used to living daily without those devil pills. Learning to be sober.

    Is that something you've thought about trying?if you can CT it, I say go for it. But I'm not sure how you will be at work. Most people I've talked to have to take off a few days.

    You can Google the Thomas Recipe, lots of things with that which can help during WD.

    Others will chime in soon. Lots of good help here. They've really helped me alot.

    Hang in there, you can do this.
    DravenDomnq and Rachelle1stbb like this.

  3. #3
    EMac711 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kicking74 View Post
    I feel for you & totally relate. Today is my 12th day with no oxy, I used 160mg a day for years, however I'm using suboxone to assist me. I can't do the WDs with raising a family, plus I really need to get used to living daily without those devil pills. Learning to be sober.

    Is that something you've thought about trying?if you can CT it, I say go for it. But I'm not sure how you will be at work. Most people I've talked to have to take off a few days.

    You can Google the Thomas Recipe, lots of things with that which can help during WD.

    Others will chime in soon. Lots of good help here. They've really helped me alot.

    Hang in there, you can do this.
    Thank you so much for replying to me, as cheesy as it sound it almost gave me goosebumps knowing that someone out there now knows my story and cares enough to leave an input. I was attempting to go CT along with the relief of OTC remedies. However, with my history of relapsing, I am for the first time considering suboxone. I just truly don't want one addiction to help another. Also, I fear of being red flagged by my Doctor and losing her trust as I am well respected by her, being in the medical profession as well. I am curious as to how it makes you feel, and was is your dosage on it? Does it help with the no energy level? And how did you go about obtain the sub? I always tried to curb this alone however, now here I am. Unfortunately, no work can be taking off.

  4. #4
    Kicking74 is offline Junior Member
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    Ugh. I just typed out the longest response to you & it didn't post! I think its because I put a link to where you could search a suboxone doctor. Sorry.

    Anyway, trust me people care. Especially here, we know what you're going through.

    If I could've gone CT I would have, but I'm such a wuss being sick & I have kids that I homeschool & there I is NO way I could do it. Plus, after advice here, I knew a longer taper on subs would be best for me. Since I'm an addict I need to retrain my way of thinking. It's hard. I've always heard that getting clean is the easy part, it's staying clean that's hard.

    It's a personal choice. But whatever you decide to do, you will have support here. You can look up suboxone doctors in your area. I'm sure you can find someone easy. If you decide that is the way, then post back here & there are so many here that can help you with the right dose. With suboxone less is better.

    I can tell you that's is been so nice these past 12 days to not sit & worry about where I'm getting my pills next. It's such a mental relief.

    Good luck!!
    EMac711 likes this.

  5. #5
    zebra1961 is offline Member
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    Default 3rd time

    If you can ct this is the best , dont use subs unless you cannot take the withdrawals and cravings. Use subs no more than two weeks as they are addictive too, they will help with sleep and tiredness but you will have some of this after the two weeks. Was on subs 2 1/2 years then on hydros percs oxys 7 1/2 years before subs. Let me tell you quitting short acting opiates like you are on more intense first thee days then in a week i was fine did that numerous times!! Subs a little less intense first three days, but it took 2-3 months to get to start feeling better what i am trying to tell you is subs are much more drawn out to get out of your system and to get feeling normal again, but if you use them short term like two weeks the recovery time is almost like quittting oxys cold turkey, so be careful do not stay on them like i did very stupid !!! Ask your dr or a dr that uses subs to dose you and give you a taper schedule if you choose subs to quit. I recommend quitting oxys ct, thats just me though it will be rough up front 2-3 days then should improve quickly,keep us posted you will do it !!!Just like i did i am a spineless weak kneed yellow jelly fish when withdrawaling and i quit SO I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT, and your kids really need you too!! so bear down and kick its ass, no more worrying chasing pills drs people selling on the street etc we all have done it and life on this side is soooo much better, better days ahead i promise you you'll MAKE IT DONT GIVE UP!!!!
    Lvg nghtmare and DravenDomnq like this.

  6. #6
    grandma -bk is offline Member
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    You can do this without taking subs....you are on a lower amt of mg...and you said its been a year affair.....its not gonna be as bad as your mind is making you think....but if you wait almost 20 yrs as i did...it will be...im starting my 4th clean month and still having anxiety.....get out now while you can....life without the pills is so much better....im betting in 1 months time, you will be feeling like your old self again...maybe even sooner....the longer the addiction , is the longer withdrawls will be....take back your life....OH AND DONT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR PAST BEHAVIORS....I COULD WRITE A 300 PAGE BOOK ON MY ESCAPADES..OF THE LAST 20 YRS.......WE ALL BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD....
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-16-2017 at 08:29 PM.

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