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After 35 days clean , relapsed - need help please
  1. #1
    Helpmequit611 is offline New Member
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    Default After 35 days clean , relapsed - need help please

    Hey everyone,

    I have read forums on this site for he last 3 years and can't explain how much it has meant to me ..so thank you all .. anyway here's my story. I have been using 30mg blues for the last 3 years .. started with a college soccer injury, and took off .. sept 2014 I found a sub doctor , and he had me on 8mg subs a day.. I did this until feb 2015, when I went back to the pills .. from feb 2015 until June 2016 I would take blues for 2 weeks then subs for 2 weeks so my urine was clean .. in August I went to a treatment rehab center, and it was a nightmare, but I made it out alive .. my fiancé left me while I was there and this was so hard to deal with on top of the rehab and quitting opiates .. so I was clean of ALL opiates for about 35 days, and then 3 weeks ago I started doing the blues again.. my fiancé and I broke the lease of our apartment and I have been so crushed, I just couldn't handle it and relapsed .. torn the last 3 weeks I started doing mayb 1 blue / 30 a day, would skip a few days, do some more .. but the last 2 weeks straight I have been doing them everyday.. not crazy like I was, the second I wake up and all day, but still doing them .. the last week I have been doing between 3-5 30 mg blues a day .. I am really stuck here guys and want to quit. When I think back to those 35 days or so clean, I might not have thought I was happy, but I was sooo happy .. my question is , how is the best way to get past this relapse .. I have 3 8mg sub strips, and a connect for the 30's.. my plan was to use the subs, (minimal amounts ) like mayb 2-4 mg day 1, then 25% less day 2 , 25% less day 3 and 25% less day 4, then stop altogether .. I have 4 adderal which help with energy and about 7 Xanax .. do you guys think the withdraws will be as bad as they were when I was in rehab around 2 'months ago, or could it not be so bad because of what I have been doing? Before rehab, I was doing 10-15 30mg blues a day .. I am hoping that since the relapse only lasted 3 weeks, really only 2 weeks was using daily, maybe it won't be too bad and I should try without the subs? Is my 4 day plan using subs to just get past the worst of the withdraws even going to work? I am open for suggestions from anyone.. I would love to just go back to the rehab, but it will crush my parents and siblings and ex-fiancé, who all think I have been doing so great and being so strong beating this .. I really want to try and beat this on my own first, before I resort to rehab.. thanks again everyone, I'm sorry for the rambling ..

  2. #2
    Helpmequit611 is offline New Member
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    If any of you reading this could please give me some advice on either a rapid suboxone detox or cold turkey or whatever you think, please stop by with some advice this is my first post ever and am really counting on some support ..

  3. #3
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helpmequit611 View Post
    If any of you reading this could please give me some advice on either a rapid suboxone detox or cold turkey or whatever you think, please stop by with some advice this is my first post ever and am really counting on some support ..
    I would not use the subs! A rapid suboxone taper is not recommended and very rarely successful! Cold turkey is the fastest and best way for you in my opinion. Usually a week or so of flu-like symptoms with the worst of the symptoms being over by day 5. Items from the Thomas Recipe for opiate withdrawal will help ease the withdrawals. Drink plenty of water and gatorade. You said you have some xanax, you can use the benzo for the first 3-4 days of detox but only at night to get some sleep and no longer than 4 days! Benzos are very addictive! Meetings will help you with staying clean, NA/AA, etc... Here's a link to Thomas Recipe - https://www.drugs.com/forum/featured...wal-35169.html

    Your detox/withdrawals may not be too bad considering your recent use? Your mind can make the detox worse than it really is, keep telling yourself that the discomfort is temporary, get to day 5 and you'll be feeling much better! Best of luck to you... God bless us all!

    PS
    You need to find a way to help you for long-term success? Meetings, counseling, therapy, etc...? Whatever it takes!
    And remember -
    "One pill is too many and a thousand pills will never be enough"...
    Last edited by Anonymous; 10-19-2016 at 12:32 AM.

  4. #4
    Helpmequit611 is offline New Member
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    Thanks Ricky, I am surprised you say the short term suboxone taper isn't a good idea.. I have read so many successful stories where they used the subs to cover up the worst of the first 4 days then had a smooth transition.. what is your feeling for why this is not a good option.. like what are your concerns .. thanks again so much man I appareciate it

  5. #5
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helpmequit611 View Post
    Thanks Ricky, I am surprised you say the short term suboxone taper isn't a good idea.. I have read so many successful stories where they used the subs to cover up the worst of the first 4 days then had a smooth transition.. what is your feeling for why this is not a good option.. like what are your concerns .. thanks again so much man I appareciate it
    I have read some success stories as well with quick suboxone tapers but they are few and far between! Maybe it would work for you too but maybe not? Yes, the subs will cover up the initial withdrawal from the opiate but then you'll have to withdrawal from the sub when you stop that! I think you're just prolonging the detox by taking subs short-term! The other option is a suboxone therapy/taper plan that a lot of members here have used with great success. It's about two months on subs with a gradual taper to minimize withdrawal symptoms. This longer method will also help you avoid relapse and gives you time away from your addictive behavior. Here's a link to Robert's sub therapy/taper plan, check it out - https://www.drugs.com/forum/suboxone...apy-66109.html

  6. #6
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    I saw you had posted on my thread and thought I would come to yours. I would have to agree with Ricky. Subs are not easy to fast taper. I have not perosnally done this but know several that have and wish that they would never have touched the subs.

    I have a similar situation with my wife but so far she is still with me. I think that for me that is enough to never touch one again. We have had alot of fights/discussions about this in the past but I really didnt see it as hurting anyone but myself. I was WRONG!!! and the thought of losing my entire family as I know it because of Pills is enough to keep me clean.

    I have been in your shoes and relapsed but you have to keep telling yourself that this will continue to be a problem in your life until it is gone for goood.

    My advice would be very similar to Ricky's in that cold turkey is not fun but the Thomas Recipe wil make it managable and each day will get better. It is a process and I sincerely believe that the mind can overcome anything, you just have to want it for yourself.

    Hang in there. Good Luck!!

  7. #7
    zebra1961 is offline Member
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    Default 611

    slow taper is best but cold turkey gets it over faster subs suck was on them 2 1/2 years tough to quit due to long half life of subs, I would throw out subs and go cold turkey follow Rickey71 advice i agree with him i made the jump at 6mgs very tough but managed to make it.very very few make it like i did so take the easier way and taper down if you can,you'll make it HANG TOUGH BETTER DAYS ahead.

  8. #8
    Helpmequit611 is offline New Member
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    Thanks guys.. so I am torn now.. do I do the sub taper that last as long as 2 months, try my taper like the one get use at rehabs, or go cold turkey.. as for what you said about withdrawing from the subs , would I really be able to withdraw from only 3 days on subs? Taking like 2-3 mg first day 1/2 mg second day and .5/1 mg third day? I would still withdraw from the subs after such short use?

  9. #9
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helpmequit611 View Post
    Thanks guys.. so I am torn now.. do I do the sub taper that last as long as 2 months, try my taper like the one get use at rehabs, or go cold turkey.. as for what you said about withdrawing from the subs , would I really be able to withdraw from only 3 days on subs? Taking like 2-3 mg first day 1/2 mg second day and .5/1 mg third day? I would still withdraw from the subs after such short use?

    Hello!

    Ricky asked me to respond to you so here I am. I'm happy to offer up some suggestions to you and hope they help you make a well informed decision. Whatever plan you make stick to it and give it a chance. If that doesn't work then try something else.

    Ok, I would try cold turkey first as that's the quickest way off. No long term tapers to perform, and you're adding up clean days right away. You'll have around a weeks worth of stiff symptoms, with days 2-4 being the worst of it. Plenty of vitamins and supplements to help you through it along with the support you'll receive here. You have to be 100% committed to it and want it more than anything you've ever wanted in your life. And it's nearly impossible to do alone. We need all the help we can get. That help comes in the form of NA, AA, Celebrate Recovery, Smart Recovery, or counseling. You need someone to hold you accountable and you'll find it with face to face support.

    Now if you choose the sub route a quick or fast taper is hardly every successful. Some make it, but not very many as Ricky has told you. He's correct. That's NOT the way subs are intended to be used. The sub therapy plan used here is usually the best time frame for most people. It takes around 6-8 weeks as you know. The goal on subs is not only to take your wd symptoms away, it's also intended to be taken just long enough to get your addictive thoughts and behaviors under control. I abused drugs nearly 19 years and it took me 9 moths on Suboxone for me to get my head straight, and truly hate drugs. Not saying you need to be on them that long, but much longer than any quick taper.

    The induction is the most important of a sub induction. Small doses every hour until stable is the right way. You want to be stable on the LOWEST possible dose, not the highest. Most are stable on 3-4 mg. I can give you plenty of info on subs if you do decide to go that way. Of course you'll need more subs than you have now.

    You've have a big decision to make. Try CT first and give it everything you have and and honest effort. We're here for you all the way. If that doesn;t work and you relapse then subs MAY be the right choice?

    Randy
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  10. #10
    etoille is offline New Member
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    When you say stable at 3-4mg do you mean total or twice daily?
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  11. #11
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by etoille View Post
    When you say stable at 3-4mg do you mean total or twice daily?
    Answering for Randy--That is the DAILY dose TOTAL. Most folks split it by taking 2mg in the morning and the other 2mg 8-10 hrs later so long as it's not too close to bedtime. If you're stable at 3, then take 1.5 and 1.5 in the same manner. Once you're down to a much lower dose, say 1mg or less per DAY then it might be time to dose it all at once, once per day. Just to be absolutely clear, the range of 3-4 mg is roughly what most people need to be stable. Some need even less. Don't go up and down. Once you stabilize, whatever that dose is is what it is and don't go up and down per day by taking a bit more because you feel like you need it. The first couple of days at any one dose may have you feeling a bit different, but shouldn't be horrible. Push through it and you'll feel better in a few days and once stable there, it will be time to reduce again.

    Sorry. Didn't want to butt in but I know that you have just inducted and it's important that you get this right the first time and it can be a bit slow around here on the weekend. I might also suggest that you try to post your questions on your own thread. It makes it much easier for you to find any answers directed to you and it's easier for us to find you. It's good to post your support on others' threads but when posting your updates and questions, stay in one place. It gets confusing for everyone, especially you.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  12. #12
    etoille is offline New Member
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    Thanks cat. I've posted 4 different times and each time I haven't been able find them after I post.

  13. #13
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by etoille View Post
    Thanks cat. I've posted 4 different times and each time I haven't been able find them after I post.
    If you click on your user name you'll be able to find your thread from the info there.
    I just posted on your thread.

    Randy
    Last edited by Anonymous; 10-22-2016 at 02:03 PM.

  14. #14
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helpmequit611 View Post
    Thanks guys.. so I am torn now.. do I do the sub taper that last as long as 2 months, try my taper like the one get use at rehabs, or go cold turkey.. as for what you said about withdrawing from the subs , would I really be able to withdraw from only 3 days on subs? Taking like 2-3 mg first day 1/2 mg second day and .5/1 mg third day? I would still withdraw from the subs after such short use?

    Have you made a decision yet?
    Randy

  15. #15
    Helpmequit611 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randy35 View Post
    Have you made a decision yet?
    Randy
    Hey Randy,

    Thanks you so much man for following up.. I've been battling with this choice all week.. good news is no opiates / pills since Friday.. but I've taken 1 / 2 mgs of suboxone sat, sun, Tues and yesterday .. anyway we can chat privately ?

  16. #16
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helpmequit611 View Post
    Hey Randy,

    Thanks you so much man for following up.. I've been battling with this choice all week.. good news is no opiates / pills since Friday.. but I've taken 1 / 2 mgs of suboxone sat, sun, Tues and yesterday .. anyway we can chat privately ?

    Hey Helpmequit -

    We aren't allowed to give out email address's or personal contact info as that breaks forum rules. The threads/posts are usually deleted and we risk being banned for doing that. I do my best to follow the rules. We really should do all correspondence right here as it helps so many others in the process. There are so many that read every word written that don't want to join. The forum is completely anonymous and no one knows your identity. Let me know what's troubling you right here and I'll do my best to help.

    Randy
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  17. #17
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    How are you doing 611? Trust us, anything you can possibly think to say, we've all seen it or said it around here, especially me!

    Hang in there, it gets better. You can make it. Everyone heals at a different pace so don't get discouraged. I know it can be hard.
    Randy35 likes this.

  18. #18
    FiveYearsFromNow is offline Junior Member
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    As others who are going or have gone through the same thing-- we're rooting for you!
    5Years

  19. #19
    Deenie W is offline New Member
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    Newby here, how does one start a thread?

  20. #20
    Helpmequit611 is offline New Member
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    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-09-2016 at 03:34 AM.

  21. #21
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helpmequit611 View Post
    [deleted - swearing]


    Please try posting again without the swearing.

    I've been wondering how you're doing? You still on the sub?

    Randy

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