Page 3 of 7 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 61 to 90 of 191
Like Tree159Likes
Ahh Day 9 off Subs AGAIN
  1. #61
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    I do for sure.
    I just got an email notification that the guy who sold my cousin the stuff that killed him is set to enter a guilty plea in feb.

    This last year has been a whirlwind of exhaustion. I want to go to my cousins grave and tell him they got the guy. I also want to tell him I'm sorry for letting him
    Down. And I want to tell him I'm clean.
    I just hope I can.

  2. #62
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,693

    Default

    Ohhh Max, exhaustion I get it. You can and you will say your peace. It might not be right now but when your ready Max this is where your support comes in you can not do this alone. Sit down take a breath write your thoughts and feelings out than talk about it with someone who has experience to guide you. The Mental journey for us Addicts is tricky the beast is always there and we need others to help us with the tools to handle it clean. Keep focused and keep working on you the rest will all fall in place....
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  3. #63
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,997

    Default

    I got nothing more to add than what lvg has already said. I'm just cheering you on from the sidelines my friend. You're doing amazing!! Keep it up. This will be over before you know it!!

    Who you got tonight. I'm not really a Dawgs fan but I despise Alabama. Too bad my FSU Criminoles are just terrible now.
    Lvg nghtmare likes this.

  4. #64
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    LVG- I so feel that.



    Thanks Beef.

    Tonight it's all salty dawg time!

    HATE Satan...err...I mean Saban. Really glad this game is on.

  5. #65
    10years39days is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    NW Oregon
    Posts
    326

    Default

    Go Georgia...I despise Alabama for no legitimate reason. Sour grapes, mostly All in good fun I suppose.
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  6. #66
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,997

    Default

    For me, everyone was a bama fan as soon as they started winning again. How convenient.

  7. #67
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    That's soo true!

    I'm just really happy for my buddy. His wife is a UGA grad and it's been 37 long years since their last ring. Bout time for another one!
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  8. #68
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,693

    Default

    Dawgs Rollin them right out the stadium..
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  9. #69
    10years39days is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    NW Oregon
    Posts
    326

    Default

    Well that was eventful.
    Lvg nghtmare likes this.

  10. #70
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,997

    Default

    I think any team that I'm rooting for is the kiss of death. Maybe I should stop watching football for a year.

    No I think I'll root for the Steelers next week. Whaddya think Draven??

  11. #71
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,693

    Default

    Roll tide... Good Morning Beef...

  12. #72
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    Ha ha!

    Great game! Gotta give it to Saban and Co.

    Woke up drenched in sweat. Any thoughts on why that occurred this far down the path?

  13. #73
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,997

    Default

    Occasional setbacks. It's normal. I had started feeling better and sleeping and I was good right around a month. Then boom. Crushing depression, chills, everything. I went back to day 7 it seemed. It lasted for about 2-3 days. Then after that they all seemed to get batter. And one of those days I even woke up drenched with sweat. I never had the night sweats before then. You'll be fine max. It happens. Good days mixed with bad, with the bad ones coming less frequent until they're gone . You're right where you should be buddy.

    Congratulations on another clean day!
    Keep it rolling
    Have a great day!
    Beef

  14. #74
    10years39days is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    NW Oregon
    Posts
    326

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Maxheadrum View Post
    Ha ha!

    Great game! Gotta give it to Saban and Co.

    Woke up drenched in sweat. Any thoughts on why that occurred this far down the path?
    This started happening with me too over the past few days, but not exactly drenched. Very damp and borderline wet. I have a theory for me. I have been "over dressing" during the day and during the night to combat the chills/coldness. I think I need to start peeling off layers and let my body breathe a little bit. Like yesterday, I wore a sweater (instead of a coat) for the first time in three plus weeks.

    Curious, did you wake up in the middle of the night? Was the sweating accompanied by any other symptom? When I wake up drenched, I immediately go into stress mode.

  15. #75
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    I had a hard time getting to sleep but no RLS. Wet is a great term. Woke up and I noticed the blankets were wet as was my pillow and my upper torso. I hate that for sure. Hoping that doesn't start to be a pattern.

    10-

  16. #76
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,693

    Default

    Ughhh my worst Nightmare...yes....Max I can now promise you this too shall pass...

  17. #77
    eazzye is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    72

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Maxheadrum View Post
    I had a hard time getting to sleep but no RLS. Wet is a great term. Woke up and I noticed the blankets were wet as was my pillow and my upper torso. I hate that for sure. Hoping that doesn't start to be a pattern.

    10-
    shoot i thought i got through that phase already.. i woke up dripping in sweat a lot at the beginning, the rls is what plagued me, and now it’s just the not being to eat a full meal, sneezing constantly (STILL), and i’m feeling pretty depressed. i hope this passes for you man and i’m sure it will. stay strong.

    -e

  18. #78
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    LVG- I take it you despised that part of the process too?

    E- Hang in there buddy. I am feeling pretty depressed today too. But it's another day clean for us both.

    I hope your day gets better my friend.

  19. #79
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    3,107

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Maxheadrum View Post
    Ha ha!

    Great game! Gotta give it to Saban and Co.

    Woke up drenched in sweat. Any thoughts on why that occurred this far down the path?


    Hello Max -

    Keeping in mind you jumped from 3-4mg of sub it's entirely possible you still have some still in your system, and yes even after nearly 3 weeks time. Not only possible, but most likely. The half life varies from 24 to 72 hours and 3-4mg is a lot of sub. A one-time dose of just 1-2mg can remain in someone's system for nearly a month. So take into account you were taking 3-4mg daily you had a lot of sub built up in your system when you jumped. It takes time for all of it to dissipate.

    Keep doing what you're doing Max. It will pass and you'll begin feeling much better. It happens when you least expect. One day you wake up and feel pretty good. Then the next day you feel even better and so on.

    I caution you to be extra careful during this time. It's a dangerous time for addicts. You want to feel better instantly, you get depressed, things start to bother you, and before you know it a pill sure does sound good. Your head can really mess with you. Keep your guard up always.

    Keep doing the Next Right Thing....
    This Too Shall Pass...
    Do You Have Another Day One In You?
    It's the Fight of Your Life, For Your Life.

    Have a wonderful day Max!

    Randy

  20. #80
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,693

    Default

    Don't have to use no matter what!!!
    Easy does it....
    One day at a time....
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  21. #81
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    Randy-

    Thank you for the thoughtful words and advice. I don't know how I got so lucky to find this site and the incredible support you all have given to others and now to me. It's a gift and one I don't take for granted. I know one thing, recovering addicts are some of the most mentally tough people there are.

    I have nothing but the highest respect for people like you and LVG and Beef. You all not only are showing me it can be done but you have all done so with dignity and grace.

    I read your thread Randy and if there's a story about the depths of loss on all fronts, it's yours.

    I am lucky in that I didn't have to endure as much suffering. It makes me feel like a real POS sometimes because I still have my home, a wife and kid that are right by me, and a job I love.

    I wasn't far from losing it all and I know just how lucky I have been. But I do carry an enormous amount of survivors guilt over my cousin. What a dirty and miserable thing we both did just to get high so we could enjoy one another more.

    It ended up taking his life and if there was a moment where I said enough, it was carrying his coffin.

    I tried and tried to get clean in 2017 and spent a few months without using. But I have to get it right this time. I am
    Scared out of my mind because I don't know if im capable of it and I sure as H E L L don't trust myself and I find myself wondering if I'm not just full of SH!T.

  22. #82
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    Well today is the three week mark. I don't feel like that is much to cheer about today. I've taken some of the responses here to heart, especially Randy's comment about keeping my guard up now and LVG getting honest with me.
    Can't help but get choked up just thinking about the gravity of it all.
    Thank you all for your words and unconditional support.

    Recovering addicts are the toughest mental warriors I know.
    Hope everyone is well.
    Lvg nghtmare likes this.

  23. #83
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,693

    Default

    I'm over here cheering for you Max even when you can't
    Another Day clean my friend Proud of You Max....

  24. #84
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    Always been a Perfect Circle fan. While
    Scanning the internet for stuff, I stumbled upon the lyrics to 3 Libras. The words gripped me like the hand of Thor. The lyrics were precisely what my sober self was on its knees pleading for the active addicted "Max" to wake up and realize where the magnitude of our collective addiction was truly at. A great moment for my realization that my internal voice has won a couple of significant battles. Lots of work still yet to get to and I am not fooling myself on that, but these lyrics both mad me sad and inspired me tonight. So I share them with my addicted family knowing that person doesn't have to beg me for control as these lyrics so beautifully state. I wanted to share them
    With you all in hopes of being real and being honest.




    Threw you the obvious and you flew with it on your back a name
    In your recollection down among a million same
    Difficult not to feel
    a little bit disappointed and passed over
    when I've looked right through to see you
    naked but oblivious
    and you don't see me
    But I threw you the obvious just to see
    If there's more behind the eyes of a fallen angel
    eyes of a tragedy
    Here I am expecting just a little bit too much
    From the wounded but I see through it all and see you
    'Cause I threw you the obvious to see what occurs behind the
    eyes of a fallen angel
    Eyes of a tragedy
    oh well,…

  25. #85
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,997

    Default

    Hey Max. Just stopping by to see how the day's treating you? Hope its a good one!

    Beef

  26. #86
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    Thanks for asking Beef. Today is actually a pretty good day. Got lots and lots of sleep and woke up optimistic today.

    And I'm laughing at my fellow Cincinnati commuters today freaking out over the 4 inches of snow we are "supposed to get".

    It's like an episode of Walking Dead. Armageddon is upon us! lol
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  27. #87
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,997

    Default

    Glad you got some sleep. Yeah I feel you about crazy drivers. We're supposed to get a little snow/sleet tonight. Everyone is losing their minds. No milk, bread, eggs at the grocery store. You'd think it was an episode of TWD. People are crazy!! Hope you have a great night and more sleep!!

    Beef

  28. #88
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    Took the truck out last night to play in the snow. Smiles all across this face. Finally feel the dark depressive cloud lifted. Feeling really good about that and am trying not to take these good days for granted!

    Hope everyone is having a safe and blessed day!
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  29. #89
    10years39days is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    NW Oregon
    Posts
    326

    Default

    So happy for you, Max! could you imagine doing that 20 days ago? Look how far you've come!

    You rthrrad is awesome and will bin beneficial to many people who wish to jump, but need some extra inspiration.

    You are living / breathing proof that they can do it.
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  30. #90
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    199

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 10years39days View Post
    So happy for you, Max! could you imagine doing that 20 days ago? Look how far you've come!

    You rthrrad is awesome and will bin beneficial to many people who wish to jump, but need some extra inspiration.

    You are living / breathing proof that they can do it.
    10-
    Thank you. Your words are inspirational
    and I know your family is so happy to have you back too. Neither you nor I can keep the gift of sobriety till we give it away. At least that's what my buddy tells me!

    So taking each day just a step at a time slowly builds our new attitudes and gives us all courage to wake up and do it again the next day but maybe just a little bit better.
    My hope for all of us is to cherish the second chance we've received and do something good with it.

    Decided to go to this little country place to eat breakfast this morning. Ended up sitting next to a 77 year old guy. We were talking about the weather and shoveling snow. And I realized as we were both eating breakfast that I was genuinely sharing a really good moment with a complete stranger. What a gift!

    So I quietly asked the waitress to slide his bill to me. Finished up and left there feeling so very good. The gift of helping others even a little bit is a terrific feeling.
    Beefaroni7272, eazzye and Catrina like this.

Page 3 of 7 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Jumped Subs at 16 per Day
    By locuseye in forum Suboxone Treatment
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 03-29-2017, 07:29 PM
  2. day 4 off subs
    By sklingsheim in forum Need to Talk?
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 09-20-2016, 11:23 AM
  3. Day 21 off subs, did I screw myself?
    By Mrsarchie in forum Prescription Drug Addiction
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-02-2016, 03:06 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22