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Ahh Day 9 off Subs AGAIN
  1. #181
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    Thinking of a combo.

    You have laid out some awesome suggestions.

    My vote is Biff Rockland. Kinda sounds like a dude of your stature.


    Hope you and K are well.
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  2. #182
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxheadrum View Post
    10-
    Thank you. Your words are inspirational
    and I know your family is so happy to have you back too. Neither you nor I can keep the gift of sobriety till we give it away. At least that's what my buddy tells me!

    So taking each day just a step at a time slowly builds our new attitudes and gives us all courage to wake up and do it again the next day but maybe just a little bit better.
    My hope for all of us is to cherish the second chance we've received and do something good with it.

    Decided to go to this little country place to eat breakfast this morning. Ended up sitting next to a 77 year old guy. We were talking about the weather and shoveling snow. And I realized as we were both eating breakfast that I was genuinely sharing a really good moment with a complete stranger. What a gift!

    So I quietly asked the waitress to slide his bill to me. Finished up and left there feeling so very good. The gift of helping others even a little bit is a terrific feeling.
    One of the things I have found to be a wonderful gift. Random acts of kindness do it for me each and every time! It is now a part of everyday. Secondly, I have a secret wish in what I hope will be my soon retirement to visit nursing homes and any other place I can get into to just talk to people. Everyone has a story to tell and they shouldn't die with their earthly self. If only I were talented enough to write a book, this is what it would be. All you have to do is to pay attention and the goodness of mankind will present itself to you. My favorite thing ever.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  3. #183
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    Cat
    Loved that sharing!

    kindness and selfless are wonderful pillars.

    You've got me motivated to drop a free coffee on the next person I see tomorrow morning,

    Might even pay for their biscuit and gravy!

    Lol
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  4. #184
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Dropping by to see if I can collect on that complimentary biscuit and gravy with a coffee?? Loved your post on cat's thread!! Maybe you should be the author here. I don't believe Jack Hammer has been taken yet......

    Thanks for messing up the lawn. I'll confer with Armando and we'll be back by later.

    Have a great night!!
    Beef
    Lvg nghtmare likes this.

  5. #185
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    Sorry it's taken me a while to get back on here.

    While I haven't touched a single sub or PK, my hands haven't exactly been idle.

    I've been running as fast as I can to escape the enormous shadow of the wings of the black dragon of addiction.

    I'll post more later.

    Hope all is well
    ForMe30 and Lvg nghtmare like this.

  6. #186
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    Max-a-Million,

    The suspense is killing me. Where’s this update you promised??? Well I know you didn’t technically promise but close enough for this addict. We know all to well about idle minds/hands & how much fun the devil can have in the playground. WE also know a thing or two about running as fast as we can to escape the grips of addiction.

    Time to pen an update Milkweed!

    ❤️
    Che

  7. #187
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    Well here I am.

    I’m trying to find some humor in the seriousness in the minefield of addiction.

    So here is my observation of my personal battle with addiction.

    Ever been to Chuck E Cheese?


    We all know it’s like overstimulation of noisey machines, crying kids who are pissed off because they’ve run out of coins or their sibling got more tickets than they did, and parents who throw massive cash at the “birthday room”. Cause their kid is gonna get the best ole Chuck has to offer.



    Ahh the birthday room..nothing like experiencing decibel 50 noise factor, eating >>>>ty over priced pizza.. only to see the stage curtains pulled back to reveal large anamatronic Animals playing happy birthday to little Johnny.

    And if that didn’t scare the living hell out of them, well they bring out the giant rat to hug your child.
    This is when parents tend to get pissed. I mean can’t my kid see this six foot four mouse is harmless? Doesn’t little Johnny know I threw a couple hundred at this place? He better stop being horrified and put on a happy face for the picture.

    Recently I happened to find myself in the middle of adult hell at our local Chuck E Cheese.

    And I was watching a kid play the pop up rodent game. It’s where you see about 8 holes on a flat surface with cartoon sketches littering the landscape. The gamer is provided with a huge Thor hammer to hit the gofer on the head as it randomly pops up. There’s a giant stop clock which begins to count down as the little rodents pop up in random locations. The more time you hit the rat, the more points you score, the more tickets you get.

    In the middle of observing this kid absolutely suck at this game (and subsequently cried over his two ticket reward), I found myself calm. Like Keanu Reeves Matrix calm. I’m looking around and all I see is blinking machines, sporadic smiles which were easily overtaken by the screams of discontent of nearly every human in the joint.

    And in front of me is this little dude who is angered by his payout. And while all this is going on, a crazy lady was literally dragging her son out the front door. The kid was screaming bloody murder because he didn’t want to leave.

    He wanted to stay in that place of utter chaos. And wanted his mom to shell out more money so he could maybe ride the puke and dirty diaper soaked Chuck E Cheese car.

    Well that has been what this road to recovery has been like for me at times.

    Chaos..absolute chaos. And at times I get a little smile or laughter in.

    And I describe the rodent game because just as that kid was hitting those holes with all his might, he was missing and it was popping up in another hole.

    I’m doing my best to not name chemicals because we all know every single one is bad, but that is what I’ve seen my addiction do.

    I was focused (and still am) on one chemical, I didn’t see the oncoming freight liner of yet another chemical.

    It slipped up on me very quietly. I have all the amazing support in the world. And believe me I’m trying very very hard. But I didn’t realize how slippery the slope is. And I’m realizing the brain is a slow healer.

    It tricked itself and me into thinking everything was ok.

    Not true folks.


    I’ve been clean from subs for nearly 11 months now. Can’t believe that.

    But I am still far from being super duper clean.

    Posting this I hope serves two purposes.

    1) it helps me to confess to this amazing group

    2) maybe someone who reads this will be more on the ready to defend against than I.

    I hope you are all well and I hope all of you have someone who is hugging you daily.

  8. #188
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    Milkweed!!!!

    You sure do know how to leave a cliff hanger. Yes, the slope is very slippery, as you can see. So glad you found your way back here, you know so many others aren’t that lucky. Whatever you have to confess won’t be anything one of us on here (if not all) don’t already own a T-shirt for so the best thing to do is to go ahead & get it off your chest and start moving forward. Time to release what is not working & move forward with what is.

    *Throws out rope*

    Che

  9. #189
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Max! Welcome back! I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. How can we help?
    Lvg nghtmare likes this.

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