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Is anyone there?? Please help! Advice/support needed!0
  1. #1
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    Default Is anyone there?? Please help! Advice/support needed!0

    Hello...i have finally figured out how to make my own thread! Lol I've been following these other threads on oxycodone addiction for a long time! Ive typed a few things but they never seem to post? Maybe i just didn't know what i was doing and i hope i do now! Lol

    Alrighty ... ive been battling my addiction to oxycodone for 3 years now. I was up to 50mg a day, then found out i was pregnant and quit cold turkey. I couldnt sleep, was extremely emotional, hot cold spells..the whole nine yards. Anyway eventually i was ok. I still thought about them all the time, but i didnt touch them for my babys sake. I had a beautiful babygirl March 2016 by c section & guess what comes along with that? Norcos....i was given 20 and haven't stopped since then.
    I have seen roberts taper method and i have aquired a few amount of subutex 8mg pills. I would go cold turkey but now im up to about 150-180 mg of oxycodone a day and i have 2 little ones whom i cherish and love dearly thay depend on me. Even in my darkest hour being sick i always just bit the bullet for them and their needs. Im so guilty all the time and can't live like this anymore. My babies deserve a better me, .....I DESERVE A BETTER ME. i cant save a dime and im tired of putting all my happiness into a pill.cold turkey isn't an option, i have no help or support from anyone and my kids need me.
    I got myself into this mess, i gotta get myself out
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  2. #2
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    Hello...i have finally figured out how to make my own thread! Lol I've been following these other threads on oxycodone addiction for a long time! Ive typed a few things but they never seem to post? Maybe i just didn't know what i was doing and i hope i do now! Lol

    Alrighty ... ive been battling my addiction to oxycodone for 3 years now. I was up to 50mg a day, then found out i was pregnant and quit cold turkey. I couldnt sleep, was extremely emotional, hot cold spells..the whole nine yards. Anyway eventually i was ok. I still thought about them all the time, but i didnt touch them for my babys sake. I had a beautiful babygirl March 2016 by c section & guess what comes along with that? Norcos....i was given 20 and haven't stopped since then.
    I have seen roberts taper method and i have aquired a few amount of subutex 8mg pills. I would go cold turkey but now im up to about 150-180 mg of oxycodone a day and i have 2 little ones whom i cherish and love dearly thay depend on me. Even in my darkest hour being sick i always just bit the bullet for them and their needs. Im so guilty all the time and can't live like this anymore. My babies deserve a better me, .....I DESERVE A BETTER ME. i cant save a dime and im tired of putting all my happiness into a pill.cold turkey isn't an option, i have no help or support from anyone and my kids need me.
    I got myself into this mess, i gotta get myself out ������������

    Okay so last August i went to my local sub treatmemt center. Was rxd the strips...he suggested 8 mg twice daily, but i knew better and only did 2 mg twice daily. I never got my dose right and had constant headaches and fatigue, and craved like a SOB. I only lasted just short of a month. I hated the way the strips made me feel.
    Im hoping the pills will alleviate these symptoms. I just don't know how to take it, do i crush into powder and put under tongue for best effect? How long should i leave it there?

    Right now I'm up with goose bumps, upset stomach, beginning of rls, can't fall balk to sleep. I only took 120mg yesterday, last dose being 30mg at 830 pm last night. Its been 12 houts already. Im.so sick of those pills that i dont care if i feel sick from them, better than not feeling anything. Please help with any advice.

    Are there any tricks to having energy while on sub?

    Thank you for anyone who has time to read, i know there are many other threads, but i just need support and advice that im doing this right, i plan to attend meeting and groups that lifts my spirits knowing im not alone.
    Thanks, Jai

  3. #3
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    That is my whole story. I'm not sure why it isn't posting the whole body.

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    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbeyoutiful View Post
    Hello...i have finally figured out how to make my own thread! Lol I've been following these other threads on oxycodone addiction for a long time! Ive typed a few things but they never seem to post? Maybe i just didn't know what i was doing and i hope i do now! Lol

    Alrighty ... ive been battling my addiction to oxycodone for 3 years now. I was up to 50mg a day, then found out i was pregnant and quit cold turkey. I couldnt sleep, was extremely emotional, hot cold spells..the whole nine yards. Anyway eventually i was ok. I still thought about them all the time, but i didnt touch them for my babys sake. I had a beautiful babygirl March 2016 by c section & guess what comes along with that? Norcos....i was given 20 and haven't stopped since then.
    I have seen roberts taper method and i have aquired a few amount of subutex 8mg pills. I would go cold turkey but now im up to about 150-180 mg of oxycodone a day and i have 2 little ones whom i cherish and love dearly thay depend on me. Even in my darkest hour being sick i always just bit the bullet for them and their needs. Im so guilty all the time and can't live like this anymore. My babies deserve a better me, .....I DESERVE A BETTER ME. i cant save a dime and im tired of putting all my happiness into a pill.cold turkey isn't an option, i have no help or support from anyone and my kids need me.
    I got myself into this mess, i gotta get myself out

    Welcome Jbey,

    How many is a "few" of the subs? I'm sorry to be the barer of bad news but rarely does a quick sub taper work. Some have done it but a proper taper will give you the greatest chance of it going smoothly so that you are able to function without it interrupting your life. If you go too quickly or try to take them inconsistently, you're apt to have more bad days and there will be a longer period at the end that you're likely to be plagued by the lingering symptoms. The half life of subs is so dang long that it takes multiple times longer for them to clear your system. I know it seems to make sense to use them to treat withdrawal symptoms from the oxy as they appear by taking a small piece of the sub and then to try and not touch them until you have to again. I've seen plenty of people try this method but I'm not sure I've ever seen it really work. The entire point of using sub therapy is to slowing taper the amount you're taking to allow the subs to leave your system gradually but by trying to take them on an as needed basis, you'll be just getting by as you continue to feed your addiction. Hope that makes sense.

    I understand that cold turkey isn't in the cards for you with two young children that you need to take care of everyday. You didn't say, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you've managed to keep this a secret from family so you can't go to them and ask for help while you detox cold turkey. I should encourage you to speak with someone close to you and ask for their help because that is the best thing for you for so many reasons but I get it. Maybe some day you'll be ready to do that but it's not today.

    Can you see a sub specialist and get your own script? You might be able to get this done with only one or two full scripts because they will probably direct you to take far more than you need. Let's assume that you can induct and get stable on 4mg/day and then you follow Robert's Plan exactly. You may be able to complete your taper in around six to eight weeks and will need at least ten or twelve 8mg tabs/strips of the subs. I'd stock up on more than that so that if you need to stay at some doses longer than the 4 days to allow yourself to get good and stable, you'll have enough. If you think that you can get that many without seeing a sub specialist, maybe you can do it without going but I'd be certain to have plenty before you even begin because the last thing you want to happen is to run out before you've completed the taper and can't get more. That would set you up for a world of hurt because it would force you to jump before you're down to less than .25 (1/4 mg) per day or less (most people will reduce even lower than that) when you'll be ready to jump or do some skip days.

    Hope I'm not scaring you because this is totally doable but the key is to follow the Plan exactly. Go into this with your eyes wide open because Sub therapy is much different than tapering or jumping from the oxy. Let us know what you think after reading this and tell us what you want to do. We'll help by answering questions, helping with the math to do your reductions or anything else that you need if you want to use Subs. The ball is in your court and it sounds like it's time to decide how to get this show on the road. How's that for a few euphemisms?

    Peace,

    Cat

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    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Jbey,

    You sure did manage to figure out to start a new thread. In fact, I've run into at least four of them already. lol It's OK but please keep your posts on one thread and don't post on any of the others and they'll disappear. Even if someone leaves a post on one or more of the other threads, don't post again there or it'll just keep them up and active. It will make it almost impossible for any of us to follow your posts in order to answer your questions and to help you and the responses you get will be all over the place and you're going to miss them.

    Peace,

    Cat

  6. #6
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Try to use this one and only this one and let the others disappear. I'll watch for you.

    Cat
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    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    Hey cat thanks for replying. I put the rest of my story in the comments..i have about 100 mg and can get more if needed. I dont have any famly where i am here, i have a boyfriend but he does not get it at all. Im like 15 hours in and feeling like ahit. I think im going to try to take a little aub and see how it suits me.
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  8. #8
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    Im sorry about the short message i really feel like total >>>> right now. I commend you for going as long as you did. I guess im just a baby but im alone and emotional and i really hate myself right now ughh. But i guess its good i at least realiE my mystakes and want to start doing something about them. I need a better quality oflife. I dont know if you saw my comment up there, but i asked a couple quesions toward the end...
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  9. #9
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbeyoutiful View Post
    Hey cat thanks for replying. I put the rest of my story in the comments..i have about 100 mg and can get more if needed. I dont have any famly where i am here, i have a boyfriend but he does not get it at all. Im like 15 hours in and feeling like ahit. I think im going to try to take a little aub and see how it suits me.
    OH I hope I caught you! Trying a little sub right now is NOT the way to begin this. STOP, READ AND LISTEN! Find the COWS worksheet so that you can score your symptoms. You shouldn't even look at those subs unless you're scoring AT LEAST a 26. This is the first really important part of getting this right and you'll be sorry if you take that sub too soon. You don't even know what sick is until you take sub too soon. This is intended to scare you because it should!

    Score yourself and come back and tell me what it is. I'll help you induct the correct way. This is important!

    Peace,

    Cat

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    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbeyoutiful View Post
    Im sorry about the short message i really feel like total >>>> right now. I commend you for going as long as you did. I guess im just a baby but im alone and emotional and i really hate myself right now ughh. But i guess its good i at least realiE my mystakes and want to start doing something about them. I need a better quality oflife. I dont know if you saw my comment up there, but i asked a couple quesions toward the end...
    You would think that by now I would know what you're talking about by posting in comments but I don't. Ask questions in a new post because that's where people are going to see them so that they can answer.

    Please repeat your questions in a new post.

  11. #11
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    [QUOTE=Catrina;533733]OH I hope I caught you! Trying a little sub right now is NOT the way to begin this. STOP, READ AND LISTEN! Find the COWS worksheet so that you can score your symptoms. You shouldn't even look at those subs unless you're scoring AT LEAST a 26. This is the first really important part of getting this right and you'll be sorry if you take that sub too soon. You don't even know what sick is until you take sub too soon. This is intended to scare you because it should!

    Score yourself and come back and tell me what it is. I'll help you induct the correct way. This is important!

    Peace,

    Cat[/QUOTE

    I did that and scored very close ttothat. 24 and In the past I've taken sub strips early as 13 hours in being I took only half my regular dose the day before...I'm so mmuch more sick right now ibecause I took a significantly llesser amount than usual and didn't take anything after 9pm when I abused the most normally. How do I take it when the time comes, same as strip?

  12. #12
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    You would think that by now I would know what you're talking about by posting in comments but I don't. Ask questions in a new post because that's where people are going to see them so that they can answer.

    Please repeat your questions in a new post.
    Its probably me that doesn't know what I'm talking about lol. I noticed this thread only posted half of what I wrote so I replied to my own thread with the rest of my story

  13. #13
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    Hello...i have finally figured out how to make my own thread! Lol I've been following these other threads on oxycodone addiction for a long time! Ive typed a few things but they never seem to post? Maybe i just didn't know what i was doing and i hope i do now! Lol

    Alrighty ... ive been battling my addiction to oxycodone for 3 years now. I was up to 50mg a day, then found out i was pregnant and quit cold turkey. I couldnt sleep, was extremely emotional, hot cold spells..the whole nine yards. Anyway eventually i was ok. I still thought about them all the time, but i didnt touch them for my babys sake. I had a beautiful babygirl March 2016 by c section & guess what comes along with that? Norcos....i was given 20 and haven't stopped since then.
    I have seen roberts taper method and i have aquired a few amount of subutex 8mg pills. I would go cold turkey but now im up to about 150-180 mg of oxycodone a day and i have 2 little ones whom i cherish and love dearly thay depend on me. Even in my darkest hour being sick i always just bit the bullet for them and their needs. Im so guilty all the time and can't live like this anymore. My babies deserve a better me, .....I DESERVE A BETTER ME. i cant save a dime and im tired of putting all my happiness into a pill.cold turkey isn't an option, i have no help or support from anyone and my kids need me.
    I got myself into this mess, i gotta get myself out ������������

    Okay so last August i went to my local sub treatmemt center. Was rxd the strips...he suggested 8 mg twice daily, but i knew better and only did 2 mg twice daily. I never got my dose right and had constant headaches and fatigue, and craved like a SOB. I only lasted just short of a month. I hated the way the strips made me feel.
    Im hoping the pills will alleviate these symptoms. I just don't know how to take it, do i crush into powder and put under tongue for best effect? How long should i leave it there?

    Right now I'm up with goose bumps, upset stomach, beginning of rls, can't fall balk to sleep. I only took 120mg yesterday, last dose being 30mg at 830 pm last night. Its been 12 houts already. Im.so sick of those pills that i dont care if i feel sick from them, better than not feeling anything. Please help with any advice.

    Are there any tricks to having energy while on sub?

    Thank you for anyone who has time to read, i know there are many other threads, but i just need support and advice that im doing this right, i plan to attend meeting and groups that lifts my spirits knowing im not alone.
    Thanks, Jai

  14. #14
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbeyoutiful View Post
    Im sorry about the short message i really feel like total >>>> right now. I commend you for going as long as you did. I guess im just a baby but im alone and emotional and i really hate myself right now ughh. But i guess its good i at least realiE my mystakes and want to start doing something about them. I need a better quality oflife. I dont know if you saw my comment up there, but i asked a couple quesions toward the end...
    You would think that by now I would know what you're talking about by posting in comments but I don't. Ask questions in a new post because that's where people are going to see them so that they can answer.

    Please repeat your questions in a new post.

  15. #15
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    I should start a new thread then? Lol sorry

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    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    [QUOTE=Jbeyoutiful;533736]
    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    OH I hope I caught you! Trying a little sub right now is NOT the way to begin this. STOP, READ AND LISTEN! Find the COWS worksheet so that you can score your symptoms. You shouldn't even look at those subs unless you're scoring AT LEAST a 26. This is the first really important part of getting this right and you'll be sorry if you take that sub too soon. You don't even know what sick is until you take sub too soon. This is intended to scare you because it should!

    Score yourself and come back and tell me what it is. I'll help you induct the correct way. This is important!

    Peace,

    Cat[/QUOTE

    I did that and scored very close ttothat. 24 and In the past I've taken sub strips early as 13 hours in being I took only half my regular dose the day before...I'm so mmuch more sick right now ibecause I took a significantly llesser amount than usual and didn't take anything after 9pm when I abused the most normally. How do I take it when the time comes, same as strip?
    OK. Here's where you begin when you're ready. Please don't rely upon the time since you last dosed but instead rely upon your COWS score. Take an 8mg pill and cut into as equal pieces are you're able so that you have one .5 mg piece and divide the remainder of that pill into .25mg pieces. Take the .5mg piece and wait one hour and then evaluate how you're feeling. If you are still not feeling well, take another .25mg piece and wait another hour. Repeat this process being sure to allow that time between doses so that you land on the lowest effective dose. That part is important so that it will leave you feeling your best at the lowest dose possible in order to make your taper easier and to take the least amount of time.

    Be sure you keep careful track of how much you've taken until you are stable. That will be your initial dose. I don't expect that it will take you more than 3-4mg total but it's possible it may take less. Take no more today and take that same dose tomorrow. You can either begin to take it once a day or split the dose and take it twice. If you begin to get mild symptoms tonight or tomorrow, try your best to hang in there because it might take you a few days to adjust to the dose. If your symptoms become severe, your dose may need to be tweaked but we'll worry about that later. Once you're stable for a couple of days after that, you'll be ready to begin your reductions. More on that later. Just go slow and get stable. Keep posting to let us know how you're doing with each dose increment today and we'll try to walk you thru it. Try to be specific about how bad your symptoms are and which are still present. Obviously, it's going to take you several hours before you're stable and to know what your dose needs to be. Be patient. This is the hardest part but by the end of the day you should be feeling right as rain. Whatever that means. That has always struck me as a stupid saying but I use it anyway.

    Peace,

    Cat

  17. #17
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    You probably know, but I'll say it anyway. Put the piece under your tongue and let it dissolve. Don't drink or eat anything for a bit to be sure that it has completely dissolved and that the entire dose has been absorbed.

  18. #18
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    Should i start a new thread?

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    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    Oh wow i totally over looked this comment. I started a new one with questions, i didnt know of thats what u meant or not. I took 2 mg. Then 1 mg from there, and another. I took 4 total and im feeling some mild discomfort in my legs and season sweating if i move around. Im very emotional right now. Maybe just tired. But we can move to the new thread. I hate to keep starting new threads.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbeyoutiful View Post
    Oh wow i totally over looked this comment. I started a new one with questions, i didnt know of thats what u meant or not. I took 2 mg. Then 1 mg from there, and another. I took 4 total and im feeling some mild discomfort in my legs and season sweating if i move around. Im very emotional right now. Maybe just tired. But we can move to the new thread. I hate to keep starting new threads.
    Yes! You need to stop posting except on one thread. This is how confusing it gets. You are missing posts because you can't find where they are. One thread, only one place to look. No more posts here for you or anyone.

  21. #21
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    [QUOTE=Catrina;533767]Yes! You need to stop posting except on one thread. This is how confusing it gets. You are missing posts because you can't find where they are. One thread, only one place to look. No more posts here for

    Others had posted on one other one so i thanked them and told them to come here. No one has been posting on here, but you. I didnt realize i made so many. Ive typed up so so many threads over the course of this year and none of them ever worked. My computer is a piece and will re load so i assumed i lost the information and had to re write it. Im not trying to just make a bunch of threads lol. But ok....now the new one i made said it had to be reviewed so i can't even find it now. Idk im frustrated. Sorry for the inconvenience.
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    [QUOTE=Jbeyoutiful;533768]
    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    Yes! You need to stop posting except on one thread. This is how confusing it gets. You are missing posts because you can't find where they are. One thread, only one place to look. No more posts here for

    Others had posted on one other one so i thanked them and told them to come here. No one has been posting on here, but you. I didnt realize i made so many. Ive typed up so so many threads over the course of this year and none of them ever worked. My computer is a piece and will re load so i assumed i lost the information and had to re write it. Im not trying to just make a bunch of threads lol. But ok....now the new one i made said it had to be reviewed so i can't even find it now. Idk im frustrated. Sorry for the inconvenience.
    Good. Don't post on the other threads and stick to this one. Everyone will follow you here once it's the only one to appear on the Home Page. As long as you post anything on the others, they won't drop off. So this is home. Welcome.

    How you doing? I read that you took a total of 4mg. Did you take more or have you stopped. I think you saw my post only after you began to take some and you may not of waited long enough between doses to allow them to take full affect. How are you feeling now? I'll keep checking for you so try not to take anymore until you've updated and let us know exactly how you're feeling and what, if any symptoms you're still having.

    Peace,

    Cat

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    [QUOTE=Catrina;533770]
    Quote Originally Posted by Jbeyoutiful View Post

    Good. Don't post on the other threads and stick to this one. Everyone will follow you here once it's the only one to appear on the Home Page. As long as you post anything on the others, they won't drop off. So this is home. Welcome.

    How you doing? I read that you took a total of 4mg. Did you take more or have you stopped. I think you saw my post only after you began to take some and you may not of waited long enough between doses to allow them to take full affect. How are you feeling now? I'll keep checking for you so try not to take anymore until you've updated and let us know exactly how you're feeling and what, if any symptoms you're still having.

    Peace,

    Cat
    I havent taken anymore no, im not deathly sick, but my legs hurt like hell, zero energy, and an ocassional goose bump episode... im at work waitressing so i really just want to go home and sleep.

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    An update here. My leg muscles and knees hurt horrible bad. Im literally pushing through this shift holding back tears. I dont know what i should do. Ive been waitressinh for years steady so i know it isnt just being n my feet. Profusily sweating which i always am e but i dont ow if its just worae cuz of this issue or if im gettin my petunia kicked lol. This is a shift to remember ill tell ya that. I was just going to bite the bullet and not take anything else so i didnt bring any along. Mistake big time lol
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbeyoutiful View Post
    An update here. My leg muscles and knees hurt horrible bad. Im literally pushing through this shift holding back tears. I dont know what i should do. Ive been waitressinh for years steady so i know it isnt just being n my feet. Profusily sweating which i always am e but i dont ow if its just worae cuz of this issue or if im gettin my petunia kicked lol. This is a shift to remember ill tell ya that. I was just going to bite the bullet and not take anything else so i didnt bring any along. Mistake big time lol
    What time do you get off work. If you're still that uncomfortable, it sounds like you need a little more sub but go slow please. When you get home, take .25mg and wait at least 45 minutes to see if it's helped. If not, add another .25 piece. I really doubt that you're going to need much more than this but you'll know soon enough. Subs are strong so don't poo poo that small amount. You'll be amazed how much of a difference even that .25mg piece may make.

    Depending upon when you get home, I may still be awake and I'll check on you. Even so, post and I'll see it first thing in the morning. I'm an early bird.

    Peace,

    Cat

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    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    What time do you get off work. If you're still that uncomfortable, it sounds like you need a little more sub but go slow please. When you get home, take .25mg and wait at least 45 minutes to see if it's helped. If not, add another .25 piece. I really doubt that you're going to need much more than this but you'll know soon enough. Subs are strong so don't poo poo that small amount. You'll be amazed how much of a difference even that .25mg piece may make.

    Depending upon when you get home, I may still be awake and I'll check on you. Even so, post and I'll see it first thing in the morning. I'm an early bird.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Im bartending until 3am
    this was a horrible day for me. Im so depressed idk what to do. Sub doesn't seem to ever work right for me. I wish i could have 1 week to just hide and go through it, maybe even check into impatient. To be honest i feel like making myself go thru hell would really make me never want to go thru it again. I mean i already dont want this life im just sad and in need of help. I truly appreciate you Catrina for taking time out of your day to help me. Im sure you have your own problems. I have bad news, i went out for my last smoke break and had like 5 missed calls from a friend. He told me to check my glove box. He owed me money but instead there were 5 15mg oxy in there. Sadly my will power ran short and here i sit at my empty bar feeling sorry for myself bawling my eyes out. I just wish i could have had someone bring me my sub to work. But i gave in like a coward and failed AGAI. I was in such pain in my legs i was trembling and fighting tears most of the night. I must be pretty good at putting on a show cuz no one even noticed. Im sad. Please don't judge me i really want this. Im just really alone and have so much on my plate. Not trying to waste your time. Im a wreck. I have a lot of issues with depression and anxiety that have developed over the course of bad relationships and just everything..ive hid from it all and being sober is when it all comes crashing down. I have no family or help with my kids. I just want to be alone with kids and not have to take drugs to be happy. I feel vulnerable and pathetic. I need to have faith. Thanks for listeni ng i need a solid plan thats the only way this will work for me.

  27. #27
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    UGH. Wouldn't you know it. Don't beat yourself up too badly about this backward slide. We all understand what usually happens when some pills come within our grasp most especially when we are really struggling. It's OK. If you have any of those left, I hope you find the strength to get rid of them. If they're already down the hatch, well there's not much you're going to do about it.. If you haven't already, text that "friend" back and say thank you for thinking of me but that you're trying to quit so the real gift would be to understand how important it is to not have any pills available and although I'm sure he/she thought they were helping you out, it's not helping. Do that now while you are still upset that this happened in the first place. If you're anything like me, it won't be long before you might be wishing to find another care package.

    I didn't know that you had to work a long grueling shift last night, on the day that you inducted. It probably wasn't the greatest time to try and do it. When do you have a day off from work? All you can do right now is to start over. Don't delay it because it just becomes too easy to procrastinate and because you had such a tough time yesterday, I can only imagine how you can justify putting it off until....
    .
    Based upon how you described how you inducted, I think you went too fast and you might be able to do it a little better this time. Tell me again how much oxy you were taking at the end on an average day. I was very surprised that 4mg didn't take care of things or at least very nearly so. You really need to have most of a day so that you can induct very slowly. Let me know how I can help and I'll do my best to be here to hold your hand whenever you're ready. I have a couple of work appointments today that I can't miss so will be in and out from 9:30 this morning until around 2 but after that, I should be around. Tomorrow, my schedule looks fairly open until 2 and then I need to be in the office until 5.

    What now? Tell me what you want to do. No judgment here! I just want to help and I will to the best of my ability.

    Peace,

    Cat

  28. #28
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    UGH. Wouldn't you know it. Don't beat yourself up too badly about this backward slide. We all understand what usually happens when some pills come within our grasp most especially when we are really struggling. It's OK. If you have any of those left, I hope you find the strength to get rid of them. If they're already down the hatch, well there's not much you're going to do about it.. If you haven't already, text that "friend" back and say thank you for thinking of me but that you're trying to quit so the real gift would be to understand how important it is to not have any pills available and although I'm sure he/she thought they were helping you out, it's not helping. Do that now while you are still upset that this happened in the first place. If you're anything like me, it won't be long before you might be wishing to find another care package.

    I didn't know that you had to work a long grueling shift last night, on the day that you inducted. It probably wasn't the greatest time to try and do it. When do you have a day off from work? All you can do right now is to start over. Don't delay it because it just becomes too easy to procrastinate and because you had such a tough time yesterday, I can only imagine how you can justify putting it off until....
    .
    Based upon how you described how you inducted, I think you went too fast and you might be able to do it a little better this time. Tell me again how much oxy you were taking at the end on an average day. I was very surprised that 4mg didn't take care of things or at least very nearly so. You really need to have most of a day so that you can induct very slowly. Let me know how I can help and I'll do my best to be here to hold your hand whenever you're ready. I have a couple of work appointments today that I can't miss so will be in and out from 9:30 this morning until around 2 but after that, I should be around. Tomorrow, my schedule looks fairly open until 2 and then I need to be in the office until 5.

    What now? Tell me what you want to do. No judgment here! I just want to help and I will to the best of my ability.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Hey cat! Ive been running all day long. Busy day with the kids!

    But yeah totally sucks. I read your message earlier abs its good to know im not the only one who isn't perfect. I felt ashamed to write what happened. I hardly ever see anyone admit that their attempt failed miserably. I wish that my friend wouldn't have done that, i called him a couple hours later because he said, "no thank you? ??" I told him that i know he was trying to help, but im actually trying to stop. He apologized to me and said he wont dip it again, that he knows how it is to feel how i feel.

    Yeah i know it probably wasnt the best time to try this, but i was out of pills and money and all i had was sub so i was like why not end it now. To be honest 4mg did the trick last time, even though i was still very emotional as expected because everything ive been running from finally catches up and im forced to face myself. I was taking between 150mg and 180mg daily. Around here they are a dollar a milligram, you're lucky if you get a deal. I just want to be able to do things i used to love, but im always broke. I get the things my kids need then rest goes on pills. Sucks.

    I have a question though, one of my moms older friends is prescribed 4mg subutex to take at night and also is prescribed 40mg OPs and 15mg oxycodone. She says because her doctor told her it keeps her tolerance down and she doesn't wake up in the morning deathly sick. Ive read so many mixed reviews...that you can take subutex while opiates are in your system? I know you can't with suboxone due to the naloxone right?

    Unfortunately im broke and just got this job 2 weeks ago and i work the next 4 days straight from 5pm to 2am...i really need time for myself....i feel like im falling deeper into a hole and the guilt is unbelievable. My small family knows my struggles but only one here is my mom and she has her own issues and doesn't understand my addiction although she is sympathetic she doesn't get it. She works 6 days a week otherwise id ask her to help me out. Idk but i need to figure something else out. Is it like against the law on here to exchange phone numbers? Jw because ive never seen any one do it. Lol

    You're right yesterday did make me scaresub isn't for me but i think i just need to take it slow like you said! Ugh in wish i had someone like you in the flesh around me that understands! You are a very strong woman cat! Going through your own problems and still here to help me with such understanding and encouragement! . Do you have your own story? Id like to hear it!
    Catrina likes this.

  29. #29
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    I can't offer too much advice except to say what's done is done. Don't beat yourself up too badly. It will only make the depression worse.

    If I can get through this you can too. It's hard, it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. But it does get better. Cat had great advice. Try again and follow it closely. You can succeed.

  30. #30
    Jbeyoutiful is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longgone2008 View Post
    I can't offer too much advice except to say what's done is done. Don't beat yourself up too badly. It will only make the depression worse.

    If I can get through this you can too. It's hard, it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. But it does get better. Cat had great advice. Try again and follow it closely. You can succeed.
    Thank you,! Im just feeling hopeless. I have 2 young kids, 5 and 1, who depend on me fully. I wish i could just go check into some impatient and get out of my environment for even a week. I want to be done so badly. Ita funny how for me they were never taken for pain, but now it will ive me the worst pain ive probably gone through. I wish to wake up one day, no withdrawls and my babies smiling faces and i can smile back knowing im giving them my all. Unfortunatelt im taking them again. Idk i feel like a failure idk what to do
    Catrina likes this.

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