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Beginning 100 mg Vicodin taper
  1. #31
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Going on 6 weeks. I think a minor bout of PAWS is setting in as I still have moderate cravings primarily on the mornings and at times of high stress. I know that I will not cave but there is definitely a little demon in my head that wants me to.

    I am much more focused and overall feel like a much better person and the daily guilt is not consuming me. I still feel very badly for the damage that I caused my marriage but that is slowly but surely getting better weekly as well.

    It feels like a giant set of hurdles are behind me but I also feel like I need to keep my guard up now more than ever.

    Its a battle but feels so good to have control of it!!!

    Good luck to you all. Stay strong!!!

  2. #32
    sunshine1109 is offline New Member
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    So happy for you that's awesome I'm new hear I put in a question but no responses yet. I'm trying to get off of oxycodone 10 mg every 4-6 hrs been on them 3 yrs and now they are making me feel worse then better I've been on them for fibromyalgia, shingles then dx with breast cancer 1 1/2 yrs ago and had my gallbladeer out last mth anywas I'm trying to taper off them cut them back to 7.5 but I start feeling withdrawals after 2 hrs that was happening when I was taking the full 10 mg to like they just stopped working...I think it's withdrawals achey all over stomach feels terrible can't eat no energy wake up feeling awful I guess I'm just gonna have to fight thru it and try my hardest to go as long as I can without taking any and just suffer thru it...you have inspired me that it can be done.
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  3. #33
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Tomorrow will be two months. For all of out there that are just starting this miserable process please KNOW that it gets better and better as time goes on. I have most of my natural thoughts back and every day literally gets better.

    It is a battle but so worth it both financially and mentally. It is a much better feeling than the guilt and sadness that the pills were causing. It simply boils down to a happier life without the thought of slowly dying!

    Good luck all!

  4. #34
    FiveYearsFromNow is offline Junior Member
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    Hey H, keep hangin in there-- you're an inspiration!

    5Years.
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  5. #35
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Hello all. Nearing 10 weeks and have to say it is GREAT!!! Don't get me wrong it is still there and I have to believe that it always will be to some extent. I have been through this several times but usually caved far earlier in the process. I am always thinking of the consequences which are very real and maybe mean more to me this time.


    I was constantly worried and waiting for my liver to fail or my wife to catch me. I can't tell you how great it feels to be rid of both of those worries. I didn't know it but it far outweighs the feeling that the pills delivered.

    I know that I am going to make it this time and I commend all here trying to do the same. It can be done if you keep your mind focused.

    Good luck all!!!!

  6. #36
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Tomorrow marks 12 weeks! It does feel like a major victory, however the cravings have been very bad in the last several days. I think that part of it is that I haven't been feeling very good and I know that it would help. I think the other thing that is subconsciously working on my mind is that I received a call from an old acquaintance that asked if I wanted 50 Norco's. While I did say no I keep thinking about it now that I know there is an option very close and very real.

    After all of the physical, mental, and marriage pains this has cost me you would think it would be a lot easier to just not think about it and never want again. Unfortunately it is not that easy and I have to continually keep my guard up.

    For all of you going through this please don't take this as a negative. It is so much better than worry and wanting and all of the other thoughts that the pills brought. I am over the hump and not going back. Just wanted to express the thoughts of the week!!
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  7. #37
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    HI Hartty,
    I am on day 16 of no hydros. I read your posts and felt like I could relate to you. I am 37 and I have been on hydro 5/325 about 9 pills a day for the last 2 years so not a horrible problem! But still a problem. I was off of them for a month and half about a year ago and fell into the trap that I could take a few one time. I have all the same worries about health and what I may have done to my liver etc.. As of day 16 I physically feel fine, but having a hard time finding enjoyment in anything. I still get sweaty palms and having difficulties sleeping. I am currently taking 5-htp before bed and in the morning taking a vitamin b complex, vitamin d and omega krill fish oil. I am also taking milk thistle twice a day to help clean out the toxins and drinking about 80 ounces of water a day. I know I need more, but I can not drink that much in a day. I feel I am doing all the right things, but feel as though I am just going through the motions of life. I have a great and supportive wife and she knows all my struggles and fears. I do not plan on ever taking them again, but I hope I feel normal soon. The main reason for my post is that I saw you were tempted and I wanted to say don't do it. We can not take these evil pills ever again unless we are dieing from something terminal and it does not matter. I can not fail.. I will choose to be miserable the rest of my life before I let my wife down by taking just one pill. Good luck to you and everyone else who is fighting. I was always a healthy person. Never did drugs, just started after a neck issue. I never stole, never Doctor shopped and never bought them. I just got my prescription every 12 days and usually ran out by day 9 or 10. I try and tell myself that I did not use for a very long time and I did not take that many everyday and I keep hoping tomorrow will be the day I can live again.
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  8. #38
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    Day 17. Slept better last night, slept from 2:30am to 6am then back to sleep 6:30 on and off to about 11am. It's hard getting out of bed to face another day with no excitement or enthusiasm. Going out for a nice dinner tonight with friends. I hope that gives me a moment or two of what I use to be like. I hope this feeling subsides. I really should not complain because I am sleeping and I am eating and I am not physically sick, but I just want to look forward to something and enjoy stuff again. Ugh.
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  9. #39
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey EZ

    Sounds like we are in approximately the same spot. As I am about 3 moths into my recovery process everything feels pretty good. I am still fighting some real temptations but did have the opportunity last week to acquire 50 Norco's and turned them down. I too had a nice long stretch without any pills and thought that I could just take one or two here and there and BAM I was right back into it.

    I have found that I specifically use them to get through rough stretches in life and then cannot stop. I almost lost my job and family over it the last time therefore I will Never go back. Congratulations to you for making it about three weeks now.

    I know exactly what you are going through and do know that it isn't fun. I can tell you that we are much better people without this nasty demon in our lives and that it does get better each day/week/year etc...

    Stay strong and remind yourself that it is either stay clean or let these drugs control you and your health.

    Good luck!!!
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  10. #40
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    Just finished day 19 at 12pm and now I am working on day 20. Still sleeping ok and eating well. I still have little energy and no feelings of looking forward to stuff that I once loved. I find it mentally difficult to do everyday tasks without the meds, but I fight all day everyday and remind myself that happier times will come. I am just surprised how long it is taking me to recover all the way. Like I said before I was not a heavy user compared to others, but I did use for 2 years so that may be the problem. At what point do I start to get concerned about the lack of enjoyment? Hope everyone is doing well and still fight the good fight

  11. #41
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    I completely know where you are at and you WILL feel better and you have to know that. You are at a pivotal point and things are going to start going your way. I know that it is different for everyone and this last time was the hardest for me and took the longest. I would be lying if I said that I still didn't have thoughts and some moments that are better than others but it is a process and our bodies can and will do this.

    I just like to keep hearing how you are doing. So many post on here and don't send updates past the first week or so.

    Hang in there!!!

  12. #42
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    Thank you for letting me know that this is normal. I know in the back of my mind that I will get better everyday with some bad times ahead, but as an addict you always think something is broken and that this can not be the addiction.. Almost like a paranoia. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to share your experience with everyone. I decided to post here because there were so many times that I would search and look for someone who was similar to me. For example looking for someone that was on what I was on and was on the same dosage for the same amount of time etc.. and I could never really find that so I thought I should share my story for anyone else who may need to relate. This is not meant to be judgmental but it may sound that way, but everywhere I looked on this website for information I seemed to find people who were either on much more than me or on their doc much longer than me or were on totally different meds than was. I would read their postings and I saw a lot of folks say how good they were doing by week 2 and here I am saying why am I still fighting. I was not using 200 MG of hydro a day, I was not using H, I was not using Oxy. I was just a guy who had a herniated disc and thought if I take them as prescribed or close to that I would be fine. Why do I feel this way. I thought I should have been all better by now, but I now understand that everyone truly is different and we must all go through this at our own pace. I hope my ramblings make sense. Thank you for the support.
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  13. #43
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Unfortunately it can be different for everyone and actually if found that through several times that I tried to quit that sometimes were much harder than others. This particular bout being about the worst.

    You have probably read all other remedies and trials but I truly found exercise to be the best. Trust me when I say I know how hard it is and seems like you don't have the energy. Make yourself do it. Do not let the bad thoughts consume you and guide your everyday process.

    It is a long road but your mind is healing and needs you to keep it in the right direction.

  14. #44
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    Working on day 24 with no hydro. Been having back pain and overall just very unhappy. I had my doctor's appointment yesterday and I'm healthy as an ox. No liver, or kidney problems. BP was good as well as all other tests. Was asked if I needed any meds and said no. That was tough. I feel close to my breaking point. I have pain but ibuprofen and naproxen are not helping. hate being on pills, but I also hate being miserable and in pain. Constant headache from my herniated disk in my neck and now my lower back has been bothering me. At what point do I cave. I hate being on pills because I worry that I will never be able to get off them, but I am just so unhappy right now. I do not want to have to go through the entire CT process again, but it so difficult between the pain and just overall >>>>>> feeling, I am more anti social now and irritable. I know I will be upset with myself if I go back, and then all the other problems will arise like the anxiety of running out early and the guilt of feeling dependent on something and planning my days around pills. I hate all those feelings. I just feel like I am not going to make it forever like this.
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  15. #45
    grandma -bk is offline Member
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    ezjcisdone....the pains you are feeling is normal..your only on day 24....give it til the 3 month mark then evaluate your pain...your brain has a sneaky why of trying to get you to go back to that hell hole called opiod addiction...do not give in....im at the 3 month mark of 16 yr daily use...and I had lback muscle spasms these last 3 weeks...but it finally lifted .. for now..at least for me, it comes and goes...half the day id feel great the other half its all back...the anxiety is terriable and I can actually feel when it leaves my body...all my muscles will become relaxed....I had a worse addiction then you and every body detoxes dif...but give it 3 months...it will get better....I also recommend reading the books by dr. sarno....
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-07-2017 at 09:25 PM.
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  16. #46
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Agreed! Don't turn back now!!! I truly feel for you and your pain. You are nearly over the hump now. The part that grandma said about your mind playing tricks and trying to get you to cave is very real and very true. As I approach 100 days clean it still is a mental battle but soo much better than it was at your stage. Let your mind heal and your body will follow suit. It's a pivotal point!! STAY STRONG!!!!
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  17. #47
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    One other saying that resonates with me is "One pill is too Many and 1,000 isn't enough"

    It is so true and for whatever reason reminds me of the first couple weeks of my detox and how bad it was.

    I am very happy to have kept my family and job through that period. I have been through this a couple of times and one pill lead to several until I was back in a huge mess. I'm not going BACK!!

    Every hour/day/week/ month gets better. Try to remember that this is a process that starts over again if you let it. Good luck to all!!!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-10-2017 at 06:49 PM.
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  18. #48
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    Hello all. Can't sleep tonight, but overall had a good couple of days. In a few hours I will be 4 weeks complete with no hydro. It really is the longest fight I have had, but overall I am very surprised how the days seem to be passing faster in a good way. I hope all is well.
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  19. #49
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    Hi All,

    It is officially 4 weeks = 28 days with no hydros and currently working on day 29. Things are getting better day by day.

    I am still new to this forum and was not sure if I should start a new thread, but I wanted to throw something out there that I have been researching.My job requires me to work with many doctors and I have done a ton of research online and have recently discovered there is a link between drug addiction/dependence and ADD and ADHD. This is why I bring this up. As you all know I have explained my story. Regular guy who never did drugs, drank or really did anything negative to my body. At the age of 35 had herniated disk and the doctor "fixed me by putting me on hydrocodone for 2 years". Now I took those pills for both pain and lets face the truth because it made me feel "normal". Well long story short, I may have ADD and will be going to the doctor's to get checked. The ADD can make the after effects of withdrawal ie the mental stuff and those who suffer from PAWS so much worse and those folks have a much higher chance of relapsing. I read a study somewhere and please don't quote the number, but it was something crazy like 60% of people who were suffering from addiction had a form of ADD. I had also heard of success stories of people saying that once they were diagnosed and put on some sort of ADD medicine that they got their life back and the cravings of taking drugs stopped and they got all their feelings back and are now living the lives they had always hoped to live without the opiates. Now I know ADD medicine is a whole other debate, but what if there are good amount of people out there who struggle with relapsing that are really suffering from something else that is making it more difficult to stay clean. Does anyone have thoughts on this subject or am I just dead wrong. Thanks.
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  20. #50
    Krysmith78 is offline Junior Member
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    I don't have any thoughts/opinions about the ADD issue but I just wanted to say congrats on nearly a month clean! It gives me hope! Day 7 for me.

    You have worked hard to get where you are and I hope things continue to get easier for you!
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  21. #51
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Nice work ez. You have hit a milestone. Congrats.

    As far as the ADD goes I too would be curious what others think. I feel as though our situations, personalities and habits are very very similar. I too have some sort of ADD/ADHD. Makes sense what you are saying and what your research suggests. I have been through this several time and really feel like this is my last but the PAWS is kinda kicking my butt right now.

  22. #52
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    Let me explain my thinking and please note I am definitely no doctor or proclaim that what I am saying is correct in anyway. I am just reading info from doctors, patients and some studies and offering up my thoughts to everyone. I use to believe ADHD was a simple thing to see, but that is not always the case. I did not realize how many symptoms I exhibited throughout the day until it was pointed out to me. Please note that I am not officially diagnosed yet, but have an appointment in 4 weeks. So people who use a form of opiate pretty much all know how it works chemically with dopamine and your receptors and when you stop those receptors are open, but the brain is not producing the level of dopamine needed to feel appropriate emotions. So those feelings of boredom, depression, lack of motivation, cravings, obsessing over a million different thoughts etc... All of those same feelings are also traits of ADD. You do not have to have all of them, but they do apply. Now why are some people able to get through those first 90 days with no relapse and so many others fail. Is it because they are just better than most of us? Or could it be that not only are you going through the typical aftermath of Withdrawl, but now that person with ADD is trying to not just deal without the opiate that made them feel better, but now there is absolutely nothing keeping that ADD at bay so is it possible people with ADD are going to have a more difficult time dealing with those symptoms because they have an underling decease that is making it so much worse for them to manage getting clean off opiates. The most common question I see on these forums from folks including myself is how much longer is my pain going to last and what is the most common answer? "Everyone is different and you really can't tell them a specific time". So maybe for those people who suffer mentally for an extended period of time have an underling health issue like ADD. I am not saying this is the case for everyone, but what if it is 10% or even 20% of us on this forum.... What if those people could be helped by just being properly diagnosed. We all know how many doctors and their staff look at us.. We are all not just people who are looking to be drug addicts, but we are looking for a solution to how we feel and some of us even sometimes by accident,find opiates and discover they make us "better mentally" or at least it gives us that illusion of better. I have decided I am going to take my mental health into my own hands and do my research and then present that to my doctor. I will probably do some wrong things during this process, but I will not be taking another opiate ever again. That is all for now. I hope everyone who wants to be clean is succeeding and remember, if you feel there could be something else wrong with you physically or mentally do all of your research and then talk to your doctor if you can. Remember a journey of a thousand miles must begin with the first step. Good luck.
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  23. #53
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    I am in total agreement with your logic and am very curious how things turn out after your trip to doctor for assessment. There findings and treatment will be very interesting to me also as I feel that you and I have very similar habits and traits.

    Please keep me posted. good luck to you!

  24. #54
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    HI Hartty,

    I think today is 32 or 33 with no opiates. Been having some of the worse days recently. Very depressed and a general feeling of anxiousness. My wife is going away for about a week and it is really bumming me out. I know most married guys out there would pray for time like this for themselves, but her and I we're best friends for about 20 years and just got married 2016. She really has been my rock and perhaps I hold on a little too much. We have a great relationship and love being around each other even after all these years. We never fight and she has never judged me and is always proud of me "even at my weakest moments." Maybe this time apart will be good for me. Toughen me up a little.

    Now on to the ADD thing. Please note that I do not think what I did was safe and please nobody else do what I did without doctor's consent, but I want to be upfront with everyone about my experience. Because I can not get to the doctor for another 3 weeks or so I took somethings into my own hands after researching. For a few days I tried a typical prescribed dose of vyvanse an ADD medicine that seemed overall safer than Adderall and similar meds. I can tell you it worked. I was able to clear all the millions of thoughts that go through my head and focus on one task at a time and did those tasks very well. It gave a mood boost similar to drinking a >>>> ton of coffee. I did this only for a few days and will report back to my doctor. However the effects are not would I would call desirable. They do give you a crash after about 7 hours and sleep is also tough. I will update everyone periodically on my progress or lack of progress. In all honesty I am really finding it hard to live a "normal" life and really miss taking the hydro. I'm don't want to lie to people so I am just saying how I feel. This does not mean I am going to be taking any, but as of now my brain says sober life is muted without them. I hope everyone fights for another day. Know that there are many people out there who are having a bad day, but are optimistic about tomorrow.
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  25. #55
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks for posting. I am around 100 days into this and have to say that every day is different. One day is great and don't have a lot of problems and the next is foggy without any ambition. I too have a lot of days that my mind is telling me to have "just one" Norco to get my mind on track and feel some energy again.

    I Remember all too well what I went through detoxing this time. I know that I'm not going back but I really feel like there is something to your ADD/ADHD theory.

    I just want to have more normalcy and move on without the opiates forever.
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  26. #56
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Today is 105 Days. It seems like a lot longer in some ways but also seems like it was yesterday that I was in the heart of withdrawals. This week has been a particularly good week.

    One thing that I have been doing a lot better that seems to be helping is eating right and trying to get at least a half hour of exercise in every day. It is very hard to do early but I can say to anyone out there that is going through this that exercise is a very great way to kick start your bodies natural "feel good" mechanism.

    I have had to fight a lot of bad feelings and temptations over the past several months but I can honestly say that as of right now I am feeling like I have won! I also know from previous experience that I need to keep my guard up and not let one demon slide past me.

    To all of you out there that are wondering if it ever gets better, please know that IT DOES and you too will overcome this. It is a long process and with some good old fashioned "Mind over Matter" thinking you will come out on the other end.

  27. #57
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    Great to hear. I am really pulling for you. I look at this thread once a day to see if you posted. I am on day 36. I am able to function and keep busy, but I just hate this feeling of going through the motions of life and being unable to feel complete and feel like there is a purpose. I constantly have the feeling of rinse and repeat, and hoping for a better tomorrow. I don't have any other mental issues except for that. I am active, I am sleeping, I am clear headed, but I still feel a missing part of me. I had a long discussion with my wife tonight about all of this and how I feel and I pose this question. For the last two years I took my hydro for legit reasons and like I said before I was only taking about 40 to 50mg a day. Throughout those two years I did not increase my dose and I always was conscious of the addiction and I truly knew that 9 to 10 of those pills was all I would take in one day and that was that. My problem is that I still do have the pain. can I live with it? Sure, but this pain is making me miserable and may also be part of why I feel how I do. What I worry about is what happens on those days or even weeks when the pain is really bad and I am unable to function like I need to? I had spoken to my doctor about this and he basically said that it is just the reality of the situation. He said that I would have to decide on how I want my life to be. Do I want to be in pain, but have no pills in me? Or do I want to be on the meds to make me feel better. He said that I was dependent on the pills, but not an addict. He said an addict can not control how many pills he or she takes in a day. I always think about that saying of 1 pill is too many, but 1000 is not enough and can not relate to that because I knew 10 was enough and I did just that. Now please know I am not trying to convince myself to back on the meds. In fact I really do not want to ever take another one ever again, but the pain is real and I do try other alternatives to help, like PT and Chiropracter etc... So then I go through the list of bad and good. The bad side of being on meds are simple for me. Planning events around them, Always making sure I did not run out early, feeling like a drug addict, what's this going to do to my liver and kidneys over a period of time, constantly having to go to the doctor to get the script and going to the pharmacy, if I do get better then I have to stop taking them and have the fun of going through withdrawals again. So as you can see a big list of cons. The pros... Well not being in pain, I was in a better mood, I was able to do more physical activities, I was actually able to get healthier on the pills because I was more active i.e. and able to lose weight. So I guess what I am getting at is that what do I do in the future? Are the pills the only thing that will help the pain? If I have ADD all they are going to do is put me on a pill and that pill will have the same effects of hydro. You can get addicted, they have bad side effects etc.. What if I was depressed? They will put you on pill with a lot of the problems. I hate the fact all these "solutions" effect who you are as a person. Like I said I am not looking for a reason to get back on the pills, but I am looking for the solution that will give me a better quality of life than what I have right now. People are on lot of different medication for different reasons that will change their brain chemistry, but because people who are treated for chronic pain have to take these types of meds and because of way other people look at these, it makes us feel bad for taking them. That is my incoherent rant for now. I truly hope all those out there are beating this problem and I hope for the best.
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  28. #58
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey EZ,

    I'm truly sorry about your situation specifically the pain. That is truly unfortunate. Have you tried any other pain management doctors and told them your story? I too started this whole train because of pain it just wasn't chronic. I know that there is nothing worse than having to live a life in pain especially when you factor in the psychological factors that nobody else in the world can understand. I was on Zoloft before and during my trials with opiates. Although I see now that it probably wasn't a good idea, I stopped taking them the same time that I quit opiates. ( I don't think I would recommend this to anyone else reading this as I think it made all of my symptoms and my mental health a lot worse.)
    My point being that the first couple of months were worse than horrible but I am truly starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am not out of the woods and every day is different but my attitude is more genuine and my desire to be rid of this forever is completely real as well. I think most of my mood was affected by the norcos (and probably a lot of ADD) and now starting to re balance. It is so hard for anyone or any doctor to be able to assess the situation as everyone is different and underlying conditions I really do believe play a major role in how we deal with life.

    I am in your corner and hope that you can find a means to deal with the pain. The one thing that I can tell you is that the other symptoms and the feeling of "rinse and repeat" will subside and natural feeling will start to occur.

    Hang in there. Good Luck!!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-20-2017 at 10:00 AM.

  29. #59
    Hartty36 is offline Junior Member
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    Today marks 4 months without any pills!!!!!! I have to say the last week was very very challenging but also very rewarding. I have been traveling 6 days a week for work with high stress and not much family time which I would normally combat with the evil pills. I was approached by an old acquaintance that offered me 60 oxy 10's which 5 months ago would have brought me much pleasure and got me through to the next point. I will have to admit I still had to resist the temptation as it was severe. I did take a long look at myself, what brought me to this point, and the future and Told him I wasn't interested. One would think that after all of the hardship, guilt, worrying and so on that a person wouldn't ever want that. It still remains challenging from a psychological aspect but I now feel that I can forever conquer this evil demon.

    The PAWS symptoms seem to have resided for now. I know that these feelings and thoughts will come and go for quite some time but have kept my guard up through another test in this long road.

    It is hard but anyone that is reading this CAN do this. Keep thinking forward and don't look back!!! Good luck all.
    DravenDomnq and ezjcisdone like this.

  30. #60
    ezjcisdone is offline New Member
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    Dec 2016
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    Great job man! It's been a little while since I have posted, but I am glad to hear that you are still on the right track. You are right anyone can beat this, they just have to want to. Today I believe is day 52 for me and I have no urge to take the pills. I have my moments when I don't feel great, but I really don't have want for those pills. I never really did have an addiction to taken the pills, I just wanted to feel better. I explained that to my wife yesterday. I had a headache and some pain from my herniated disc and I told my wife that the hard part was knowing I no longer have that option to grab two pills and all was better with me and the world. That is the difficult part for me knowing I don't have that immediate fix to any problem that may occur. My doctor rescheduled my appointment so it's another two weeks before I can talk to him about the adhd thing, but I also made an appointment with a psychiatrist to get their opinion. If I want to feel better I need to know that there are no underlining problems. I will update the forum with what they say and maybe the information I acquire at that time can help others. I would suggest to anyone out there who is struggling after quitting to do research on different conditions. I even took multiple online tests that will suggest if you may have Adhd. We will see what happens once I talk to my doctors, but I am determined to stay the course and beat this forever. Hopefully I can look back on this time and it will all seem like a fuzzy blur from the past.
    Hartty36 likes this.

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